Note: So this is a little different from the stuff I usually write. I've recently converted to a Naomi fan, and this fic is a tribute to her last moments, so it might be slightly emo hehe. I also have a corresponding drawing of her dying scene on my deviantart page, so check it out if you'd like. =D
Disclaimer: Death Note and it's characters do not belong to me
Finally, Naomi thought. Now was finally her chance to catch Kira, putting all of the information she had gathered and theories she had deduced to good use. The effort had not been in vain after all. She would contribute to the case, avenge her fiance, and alleviate her own guilt, all under L once more.
She handed the investigator her ID, her ticket to join the team and make herself useful again.
…
Tears flowed down her face and dripped from her chin freely and effortlessly. Naomi did not try to hold them in or force them out. She simply let them move on their own.
"Raye … Raye's dead," she whispered to no one.
Her heart gnawed at her insides, her brain twisted and turned in confusion, but her body refused to respond. She let the tears fall, yet she was not crying. There was no longer the feeling of melancholy, for she had already exhausted herself in mourning. Now, there remained only that of emptiness, nothingness.
No … This was not her. This pathetic creature lying to waste her life away was definitely not the Naomi Misora she knew. She had lost her fiance, but she had not lost herself. Not yet.
"No," she asserted. "He was killed … by Kira." Life surfaced back into her eyes.
Finally snapped out of her zombie-like state, Naomi realized that the phone had been ringing. She accepted the call.
"N – Naomi!"
"Mother."
"Oh, you had us so worried. You haven't been answering the phone all day!" Her voice was shaking. "We thought that … that he had gotten to you too." She knew about Raye's death, no, his murder already.
"..." What to say?
"Ah, I'm sorry for just blurting it out like – Ah, no, what I mean is …" She tried to find the right words, having been so worried that she had lost her train of thought. "I'm so sorry about what happened, Naomi dear. We were so worried. We – You must feel terrible."
"I am upset, but I …" What was the word?
"Honey, please come home! You aren't safe if you -"
"No." She finally found strength in her voice. Her mother wanted to keep her safe, just like Raye had wanted to keep her safe. She had not gotten involved in the Kira case, because she had agreed to let Raye shield her from danger, and it had cost him his life. He had died because of her. Guilt now mixed with anger.
"I'm sorry Mom," she declared. "I need to think." And hung up.
She strode to her closet and selected her favorite black leather jacket, put it on and stepped out onto the freezing balcony. The cold would numb her body and emotions, allowing her to think clearly.
Naomi leaned on the railing. She did not need protection. She could take care of herself, and now that she had a goal, she had the will to tread on. Kira, her fiance's murderer, she would hunt him down.
Naomi clenched her fists. To avenge Raye. She dropped her head. And to redeem herself.
The wind bit at her pale face and lifted her dark tresses, egging her on. Yes, she had purpose now. She was resolute, free from the hollow nothingness that had consumed her before. She would never succumb to it again.
…
The man she had been conversing with for the past few minutes had given her the opportunity of a lifetime, to personally work with him, L, and the investigation team on the Kira case, to catch that murderer with her help. Naomi had been thrilled, for a moment, but the excitement soon subsided, because something now felt wrong.
"Umm, if you don't mind my asking," Naomi finally inquired, "why do you keep checking your watch?"
He lifted his face and smiled innocently.
"Well, I guess that's because," the smile darkened, "I'm Kira."
A chill. Naomi's pupils dilated. "Wha … ?"
A mistake.
Why?
Why had she handed her name to him? Why had she let him convince her of his lies? She had dropped her guard for a split second. It was a momentary mistake. She could take it back, right? Right?
Had she wanted to capture Kira so badly that her eagerness ultimately led her to his hands instead? Oh, the irony …
Please, a do over. I won't make the mistake again. I could have gotten to L. I could have avoided all of this. Just another chance. Take it back. Rewind time. Please. Please! PLEASE!
But there were no second chances.
The fear and shock subsided almost as quickly as it had emerged. Naomi felt the blood drain from her face. She felt every thought she had ever conceived disintegrate. There was nothing left. There was nothing more to hope for. There was no more reason to live.
Without a thought, she turned and walked in the opposite direction. She needed to find a place where no one else knew of, away from people, away from everything, able to be alone, to simply melt into the nothingness, to become one with Nothing, once again.
…
She had been ambitious once. She had had purpose once. There had been something to live for. What was there to live for now? In the back of her mind, she felt the instinctive need to run away from something, but there was no one here to run away from. No, it was the need to run back towards something. There was something she had wanted to do. There had been a purpose, something to live for. But it was not present anymore.
The waves lapped at the sandy shores. By nighttime the tide would rise, washing away any ashes and rubble that had been deposited in this area. No evidence would remain where she stood.
This had been a secret spot for Naomi and Raye, where the latter had proposed to the ex-FBI agent. They had planned to have their honeymoon here after the wedding.
Naomi dug into her purse for the lighter fluid. She had experienced multiple feelings here in the past: joy, excitement, frustration, fear, shock, anger, euphoria. Now, she only felt hopelessness and emptiness.
The flames engulfed her at a rapid pace. It hurt. Naomi grabbed at the sand in and throbbed in reflex to the scorching hot flames, but she let it continue penetrating through her clothes, her hair, her flesh, her heart.
She felt pain. She felt agony. And at the same time, she felt Nothing.