Dean laid on the bed of the darkening motel room, his hands covering his face. He was tired, and for once, he was admitting that he needed a hug. Not just a hug though, he could easily go and hug Sam but it still wouldn't make him feel better. He needed a cuddle, some love, intimacy. He thought about Castiel and wondered if he knew about hugging, wondered if Cas would mind giving him a hug, just so he felt wanted by someone. He sat up on the edge of the bed and sighed.
"Cas, I pray that you get your feathery ass down here right now. It's been a while and... I miss you okay". He put his face back in his hands and then heard a faint gush of wind, and felt a presence close to him; of course, it was Castiel. Cas smiled briefly as he stood in front of Dean, and Dean stood up and wrapped his arms around the angel's neck. He wasn't expecting to be hugged back at this point, so when Castiel remained standing frozen, he wasn't too surprised.
"Dean, what's the matter? You said that you missed me?" Cas' voice was low and slightly confused in Dean's ear.
"Yeah buddy I was wondering if..." Dean trailed off and let go of Cas because he suddenly realised how awkward the whole thing would be; asking Castiel cuddle him for a while would be awkward, and if he refused that would be awkward and if he agreed that would be even more awkward; Dean wasn't quite prepared for that so he stopped and looked away from Cas before sitting down on the bed and simply saying "I just wanted to know how you are".
Cas sat down next to him on the bed and nudged Dean slightly with his elbow in a teasing way.
"I know you Dean and I know that's not what was on your mind". Dean felt hot – he hoped he wasn't blushing in front of Cas because he suddenly realised what Cas meant to him.
Being that close to him and hugging him and smelling the damp of his trench coat from the rain made him realise something that Dean thought was quite amazing; he realised he loved Cas. And not in the way he thought he had. Cas was always there for him and he thought he loved him in the way a person loves their best friend. But it was much more than that, as Dean and Cas would literally die for each other and he felt a longing for Cas when he was gone. This was much different. He was in love with Cas.
Dean sighed a complete sigh of defeat. "I was lonely and wondering if you would... cuddle me for a bit... because I couldn't sleep and stuff" a nervous laughter left Dean and filled the room as Cas stared at Dean, as usual not giving any of his thoughts or emotions away in his face. Dean thought he caught a slight smile from Cas though (or was that hoped he caught a smile), and for a few moments, nobody spoke.
"Of course, Dean. Whatever helps you sleep". Cas definitely smiled this time, and Dean breathed a heavy sigh of relief as Cas shifted on the bed to lie flat on his back, so he could cuddle Dean. Dean slowly crept up the length of the bed to fit himself next to Cas and leant his head against his shoulder. Dean wasn't expecting much and he was right to; Cas' arm stayed out flat across the bed rather than wrapping around Dean but he didn't mind. He hesitantly placed a hand on Cas' chest and felt the vessel's chest rise and fall very slightly and very slowly. He could smell Cas; he smelt ever so subtly like flowers, but Dean had no idea how.
They laid like this for a few minutes before Dean had an idea, and sat up to get something out of his bag. He resumed his position next to Castiel on the bed and handed the angel a book: a collection of Ernest Hemingway.
"Would you mind reading to me, Cas?" Dean smiled as he felt the angel's arm rise and take the book in both of his hands. He turned to the first page and looked over the contents. Dean watched Cas' hands and their every move. He watched as Cas held the thin book so lightly in his hands, and he watched Cas' fingers gently caress every page he turned. He kept his hand on Cas' chest; for some reason, Cas hadn't mentioned this but Dean wasn't going to complain. He lightly drew circles into Cas' chest with his fingertips, and the silence was finally broken with Cas' quietly thunderous voice reading the short story he had chosen.
Dean was lost. He continued drawing circles into Cas' chest as he let every single note of the angel's voice sink into every pore on his body. Cas moved the book down so he was holding it with one hand on his chest, and he wrapped his free arm around Dean. Dean shivered at the touch, but Cas' fingers were so warm and so light; he felt at ease. He snuggled deeper into Castiel's coat and felt his eyes getting heavier. He felt himself giving in to sleep, but wanted to savour every moment with Castiel reading to him like this as he figured it would probably never happen again (he would never be brave enough to pluck up the courage to tell Cas how he really felt about him).
Dean was half dozing when Castiel's voice stopped and he closed the book. Dean was too sleepy to acknowledge that Cas was done reading, so Cas stayed laying with Dean on his chest as still as he possibly could. He would wake Dean in the morning.
Dean felt himself waking from his dream. He felt a tight arm around him and his hand was on a very slow moving chest and he remembered where he was, and who was with him. He suddenly felt Castiel gently shake him awake and he sat up slowly, opening his eyes to a very bored looking angel, who smiled briefly, making Dean's chest flutter slightly.
"Dude, you're amazing, thank you so much seriously". Dean patted Castiel's thigh as he stood up to make his way to the bathroom. He suddenly remembered 'morning breath' and what a mood killer it could be, and dragged his feet over to the tiny bathroom. He started to think about Castiel again. He wondered how Castiel would react, or in fact, if he even would react, if Dean told him how he felt. How would he even tell him? Should he tell him? Why would he tell him; what good would it bring? All of these questions whizzing through Dean's mind as he woke himself up from that ridiculously comfortable sleep. He made his way out of the bathroom to see Cas still on the bed, this time sitting up and looking in Dean's direction.
"Hey, can we talk for a second, just before you go". Cas nodded but looked unusually nervous as Dean sat with his legs outstretched beside him.
"Dean-"
"Cas-" they both spoke at the same time and laughed at themselves.
"You go first, Cas". Cas gulped as he yet again shifted anxiously on the bed.
"Well, Dean, I have been thinking... about us". He quietened slightly at the word 'us' and Dean chuckled to himself. Cas noticed and suddenly became very tense.
"I'm trying to tell you how I feel Dean, have some courtesy please". Dean's love for Cas was proven in that one tiny sentence, and he just wanted to kiss him and cuddle him and hold him forever, as he realised that Cas felt the same way about him.
Cas' hands were folded in his lap, and Dean moved one of his hands to Cas' own, and stroked them with his thumb.
"It's okay Cas, I know". Cas looked up at him and his eyes were more alive than ever, more beautiful than ever. Dean moved a hand to Cas' face; that beautiful face that he had looked at for so long. Those bright blue eyes, those perfect lips, his fluffy dark hair. He realised this was the point of no return and he inched his face to Cas' very slowly. Cas' eyes closed very slowly and he didn't move a muscle as Dean's lips pressed ever so lightly to his. Cas didn't know what to do, but he knew that it was right. They both knew that this was meant to happen, and both of their hearts fluttered at the touch of one another. Their lips moved slowly and hesitantly, and they said a thousand words in this kiss.
They parted and smiled. For the first time in a long time, Dean was happy. He was happy with Castiel. He was happy with how everything was at the moment. He was happy that he was happy. And most importantly of all, Castiel made him feel like he was happy with himself.