Title: Molesting ANBU
Pairing: Naruto/Sasuke, Kakashi/Gai/Iruka and Neji/Shikamaru/OC
Disclaimer: I own nothing I just play with the characters every once in a while.
Summary: Three drunken Chuunin should cause this much trouble but of course that would be if two of the chuunin, Iruka and Naruto weren't such outrageous characters to begin with.
Warning: There is an OC in this to balance Naruto and Iruka out some.
The Hokage was at a bit of a loss; in her extensive tenor as Hokage or even in the records for the previous Hokages something like this had never occurred. In front of her three chunin teachers stood so drunk that they were already hung over and barely able to stand. By her desk stood one slightly confused but most definitely angry Ibiki. Shizune stood on the other side looking just as dazed.
"Iruka, Midori and Naruto would you like to tell me why you molested my ANBU." Tsunade started her gaze sliding to each one.
Iruka looked resigned and only slightly ill. Midori the youngest and newest chunin teacher looked close to tears. Naruto seemed the most put together but even he was a tad bit red in the face.
"I understand the interest in going to drink after a mission but how did it get to the point where the three of you managed to capture and molest five ANBU." Tsunade barely managed not to laugh at the absurdity of it.
"We might be really drunk." Midori's deep voice spoke quietly. Tsunade studied the lone female in the group.
The way the three of them were standing it looked like a progression picture. Naruto was the tallest at six four, tanned and heavily muscled; built more for strength and stamina than anything else. Midori was a little over six feet a few shades darker in skin tone with intelligent light brown eyes and black hair pulled in a bun and the balance of the group. Then Iruka standing five nine, lean, mean and built for speed and great with infiltration.
"I think it is what we drunk." Naruto rasped. "It was something new and had chakra in it."
"Jump juice is illegal." Tsunade intoned linking her fingers in front of her face to hide the twitching of her mouth. Beside her she could feel Ibiki quivering slightly with what emotion she wasn't sure.
"It is harmless for the majority of the population but what it does for one percent of the population is dangerous."
"So then us molesting the ANBU is just a consequence of jump juice." Iruka conjectured hopefully.
"Wrong, it puts the one percent in a coma." Shizune explained.
The three chunins blanched.
"Want to try that again?" Ibiki asked his voice dangerously lowered.
"We were thinking that ANBU can't be worse to track down and capture than our students." Iruka spoke evenly while the others looked everywhere else.
"It's good training and helps with our classroom teachings later." Midori added hiccuping slightly through her explanation.
"Yeah I mean it tracking is a vital skill." Naruto expounded on his fellow teachers points.
"Where did you three molesting them come into play?" Tsunade asked slightly baffled.
"We figured that we had to be rewarded for a job well done." Naruto responded brazenly before blushing scarlet.
"Do you have any idea who you caught?" Shizune asked curiously.
"Nope we would have to feel them up again to be sure." Midori said with a disgruntled sigh.
"Better luck next time I suppose." Naruto agreed while Iruka looked thoughtful.
"When we catch them this time we shouldn' t be as nice though. One of mine busted my lip before I got his other arm restrained. " Iruka smiled dazedly.
"I only had the one but he had such a bad hissy fit it is a wonder I caught him at all." Naruto nodded yawning slightly.
"Both of mine were easy." Midori bragged before she turned slightly green.
"If you are sick on my floor." The Hokage warned.
"I know who they are!" Iruka yelled slightly excited.
"Really?" Midori immediate forgot her need to hurl.
"No but I sorta thought for a moment I did." Placing his hand on top of his head Iruka blushed.
"Go sleep it off you three." Tsunade dismissed them with a wave. "Tomorrow we will discuss the punishment and if the ANBU in question want to press charges." As the three bowed unsteadily and staggered out of her office, Tsunade worked on keeping the grin off her face.
"You five get out here with masks off." Activating the privacy wards of her office, Tsunade leaned back in her chair while the five men made their appearance, saluting before sliding their masks off and standing in different places.
Gai was the first to speak and he scolded Kakashi who was slouched next to him. "You shouldn't have hit Iruka." Kakashi cut his eyes at Gai before he responded.
"You shouldn't have been so eager on duty."
As the two rivals glowered at each other in an uncharacteristic way, Tsunade made note of the fact that neither seemed to have any objection to the fact that they had been quite happily groped and fondled by a certain tipsy chuunin. Turning to the next set of two, Tsunade raised her eyebrow at the Neji, who blinked slowly at her in unconcern. Looking a Shikamaru, who had a senbon in his mouth and was flicking it lightly back and forth. Shikamaru looked no more bothered then Neji. Finally Tsunade turned to look at the wildcard of the bunch Sasuke who for all intents and purposes looked as though he was torn between murderous indignation and intrigue.
"So I take it there are no real objections to what happened?" Tsunade mused lightly. The ensuing silence was all she needed to know. "Don't physically or mentally damage them please; they are the best at what they do." The warning look she gave the lot of them was enough to scare a normal person into a coma but the highly skilled ninjas only nodded and were gone. At the moment Tsunade had no interest in anyone knowing that part of the reason they had caught the ANBU so easily had to do with the fact that they were reserves.
"Hokage do you think that is wise?" Ibiki turned to regard his Hokage still having some trouble grasping it all.
"Yes." Tsunade responded. "I lost spectacularly at gambling tonight."
TBC….Depending on interest.