Barry looked around him, listened to the sounds of the people in the streets wondering what the point was anymore. Iris had Eddie (he couldn't stand seeing his best friend looking so down so he may or may not have went back in time and saved Eddie. He was the only one who remembered though.), Cisco had Lisa, Joe now had the son that was actually his, Oliver had Felicity (which finally they got together as they really were perfect together.), and what did he have? Two boyfriends that were never really there. Mick and Len would definitely never change and stay in Central (He couldn't ask that of them as they were truly happy on the Waverider and he didn't want them to stay home in central and be miserable because of him.). He wiped at the tears that were running down his face, thinking about how Len would sneer at him for how he was acting. Call him a child and that he needed to man up. He knew his mind was made up because he couldn't do this anymore. He only caused death and destruction to those around him. His mother was dead because of him, his father was dead because of him, Ronnie was dead because of his selfish need to save his mother. Iris almost lost Eddie, Cisco lost Dante because of him. He couldn't hurt those he cared about anymore. He grabbed some paper and a pen and began saying his goodbyes. One to Oliver, Lisa, Cisco, Joe, Iris and Eddie, Wally, and one to the two people he thought of as the loves of his life. Their note was the hardest to write, his tears hitting and smearing the words.
Len and Mick, There is so much that I would like to say to you, where do I begin? Let's start at the beginning. You found me when I needed someone the most, losing nine months of my life only to wake up and have these super powers. Keeping that secret from those I cared about most was impossible. Just as everything came crashing in, Len, you showed up. You made me stop and think about what I needed to do. You say that I made you up your game as a thief, but you Len, you made me up my game as a person. Time went by and you weren't around and then you came and you brought Mick to Central. You both made me think. I couldn't get you out of my mind from day one. I know that I never admitted that to you, but it's the truth. I was smitten from day one. Then I got to know you, and you both stole my heart. Who'd've thunk it? The villains of the Flash's biggest score would be the Flash's heart. You were there for me with the whole Eobard not-Wells situation. You kept my head clear, you kept my head on my shoulders. But I still fucked it all up didn't I? Going back in time - causing the singularity. Mick, you taught me that, yes, while Scar's hurt, if you spend your life angry or letting others control you, what kind of life is that really? You, next to Len, are one of the most observant and intellectual person I know. You put your all into the things you enjoy, such as your cooking. God, I've missed your desserts something fierce these past few months, not any one in particular. But I've missed you more. I've missed both of you. Mick, you helped me see that I don't need the approval of everyone else, that as long as I'm okay with it - screw everyone else. I love you for that. God, I wish I could say this all to your face, but my time is up. You guys have each other and the waverider, so I know you'll be okay. I love you both so much, I just wish that I was enough anymore…..Happy Anniversary, Loves. 2 whole years together, wish time was on our side. I made sure that you were able to have a piece of me with you at all times.Goodbye,Barry
Barry wiped at his eyes and got up, walking to the closet pulling out two boxes of different sizes. One for Mick, which contained a lighter etched with a lightning bolt that had a snowflake behind it and embers as if on fire all around it. On the back it had cursive writing on it reading "Love you all throughout time, Mick. -Barry." There was also a couple burned CD's of Mick's favorite songs covered by Barry except the last two where he had burned all the videos on a dvd that they had. Barry had recorded a bunch of video of their time together, for the nights he really missed his lovers while they were gone. The other was Len's, containing three ticket vouchers for his choice of favorite theatre performances in New York. Under them was a framed drawing of the three of them with the picture it was drawn of in the corner. In the corner was Barry's scribbled signature.
He had been planning his death for the past 6 months. He knew that while yes, they may not understand or forgive him for what he was doing, part of him wanted to make it somewhat easier or just make it to where they'd never forget him. Part of him just wanted them to have a physical piece of him with them for as long as they wanted to keep it.
He set the boxes down on the bed and put his note on the top before walking to the kitchen grabbing the eight pounds of ice he had gotten to slow his healing factor and walked it to the bathroom closing and locking the door behind him.