Title: Girl On The Verge
Pairing,Character(s): Quinn/Rachel, Quinn/Tina, Finn/Rachel
Rating: G?
Spoilers: Slight spoilers for a future plot.
Summary: Quinn struggles with her true feelings.
Author's Note: I'm not sure if I really like.
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I see her flirting with him, he seems to enjoy her attention and consent need to touch. I watch her during his solo, the glow that comes off her is sickening. She giggles every time he messes up the lyric "Got all this and more before twenty-four", had anyone else messed up a lyric she'd pitch a fit like a toddler. My face must be a deep shade of crimson by now what with the ringing in my ears and the looks Kurt keeps giving me.
I'm sitting on a hard plastic chair on the side of the stage and Tina is sitting beside me rambling and stuttering about something or another I believe she's trying to asking me where I got my nailpolish but I don't answer, although I do feel some strange attachment to the girl (maybe because we share a common secret) so I give her an honest smile before I stand, maybe I'll try talking to her next rehearsal when my blood pressure is lower and the ugly green head of envy isn't consuming my very been. I begin to walk towards them when Mr. Schuester clears his throat.
"Okay kids that was a great rehearsal" He says with more enthusiasm then most teachers. "Same time tomorrow guys, Finn please try to work on the lyrics tonight okay buddy?"
"Sure Mister Schue" He said stretching slightly throwing a grin at her.
That's it! I can't stand their overly cutesy flirtation any longer, I was still his girlfriend or did he forget. I feel invisible here, aside from Tina and Kurt no one looks at me because they're clearly not as stupid as Sue thought, they know why I'm here. I'm here to break up there little club but really I couldn't care less about it all I care about is breaking them up.
"Hey Finny" I say sliding up next to him wrapping my arm around his sweaty waist. "Harvey Fierstein" I say giving my very best death glare.
"Quinn" She says smiling up at him, I glare harder.
"Finn dear would you like to come over tonight and help me set up for The Cheerios BBQ tomorrow?" I say shinning my fake smile at him while giving him a gently squeeze.
"Well actually I'm going over to Artie's to play Halo and DDR" He says blankly. Rachel snickers when he says DDR.
"What? Kurt wouldn't come over unless we agreed to play" He says smiling at her. "Which you know is kinda rude since Art can't play but whatever." I feel him shrug.
Artie wheels up behind us "Ready to go?" he says pushing up his glasses for the millionth annoying time today.
"Yeah I'm all set. Kurt said he'd catch up with us at your place 'cause you know he has to go home and get the mat thingy" He says pulling away from me.
He begins to walk around Artie before I stop him "Finn darling aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?" I say overly sweet.
"Oh a yeah sure" He walks up and gives me a peck on the cheek.
Drat. He walks off before I can pull him in for a real kiss to show her he's mine. I watch him leave laughing with that annoying nerd. I look around and notice everyone else has already cleared out leaving Rachel and I alone. Damn.
---
"Finn is so talented, isn't he?" She says without a hint of sarcasm it makes me want to smack her.
"Yes he is" I say sullenly as a sudden wash of sadness comes over me as I turn to look at her, seconds ago I was ready for a catfight now all I want to do is cry.
Shes standing looking at the spot where Finn had been. She's so smitten I'd almost think it was cute if it didn't break my heart so much. She's wearing a yellow sweater vest that's slightly tight across the chest. I look down at our feet my white sneakers with pink piping and her shinny black mary-janes.
"So how are you liking Glee Club?" She ask in a calm tone "You know you're actually pretty good especially at the dancing" I look up to see if she's joking. Her face is still and honest looking.
"Ah thanks" I stutter seems Tina is rubbing off on me in more ways then I thought. "I sign in the Church Choir"
I joined the Choir in mid-school because it was the only way I could get my mother to agree too horseback riding lessons. I had actually started to enjoy it, I'd gotten a solo last Christmas but that seems like to much to share with someone I supposedly hated.
"Oh, that's nice."
"You know you cant actually steal him from me right?" The words come out before I even think. "I mean do you really think the coolest guy in school wants to be with a girl who looks like a man?"
The look on her face as the last word leaves my mouth is one of the saddest things I'd ever seen. Normally she wouldn't show her weakness, but I think I caught her off guard this time.
"No I'm sure he doesn't" She says on the verge of tears.
I'm surprised by myself. I'm surprised at the lengths I go to, to cover my own hidden shame. I didn't like being the bitch. It wasn't me. I didn't like the look of utter devastation on her face.
She turns to leave and my mind and body lose communication as I grab for her wrist spinning her around to face me again pulling her slightly closer.
"What are you going to start beating me up now?" She says strongly "Words aren't doing it enough for you anymore."
She trys to break away from me but I pull her closer. I slide my arms under hers enveloping her in a lose hug. I hear her catch her breath before becoming so still, for a moment I thought she might be dead. I wrap my arms around her tighter, I breathe in her coconutie scent. I turn my head and plant a small kiss just above her right ear before I pull away.
I look at her shocked expression wondering what she's thinking, probable something along the lines of fearing pig blood would come splashing down from above at any moment. I give her a smile before turning to leave.
---
As soon as I'm out of the auditorium I start to run, fearing that some demon was chasing me for finally acting upon my feelings. I run all the way to the football field, breaking to catch my breath before turning around to see if the demon was able to keep up. Thankfully he hadn't.
I take a seat on the bottom row of the bleachers pulling my legs up to my chest. What I did was stupid. Very stupid. I know Rachel will never mention what happened because the confusion about when the attack would coming would stay with her for awhile, plus who'd believe her? But I still shouldn't have done it. I was letting the jealousy get the best of me. Letting myself act foolish. I knew I could never have her, ever. I wasn't afraid of becoming unpopular no I had those other girls so wrapped around my finger they'd become faux lesbians just to fit in. It wasn't that, it was because this wasn't who Quinn Fabray was suppose to be. It wasn't. And I knew that. It wasn't right. I was suppose to be lusting after my hot boyfriend not the geeky glee girl. That's who I was born to be...Wasn't it?
"H.h. Quinn" I jumped, I had been so deep in thought I didn't hear Tina come up before she started talking. She was smiling a bright smile that didn't match her gothness.
"Hello Tina" I say wondering if I had actually ever spoken a nice word to the girl before.
I spin putting my feet on the ground as she takes a set next to me. We sit in quite for a moment before she picks up my hand looking closely.
"I..I..I I normally only wear blue or p.p. but this is a really pretty red." She says showing me her chipped glittered blue nails.
"It's Hot Lava Love from China Glaze" I look over at her maybe I could never be true to myself or anyone else but it might be easier if I could befriend the girl sitting next to me, because I'd bet my popularity that she was in the same boat as I. I decided then and there Tina would be my new true friend. I was sure by the end of the week I had that all the girls on the squad would befriend a geek so they could be like me.
"Do you want to go to the mall?" I ask "We could go to Mac and Sallys"
"S. I'd to.o"
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