Shades of Pink
Summary: Hotaru's world is empty – full of nothing. It is grey and numb. However, at times, there is a light shade of pink…
TW: Depression, hints of suicide/suicidal thoughts
"Do you remember the destruction of Mugen Academy? I heard she died in the collapse, and now she has prosthetic arms and legs."
"She's always been pretty weird."
"There's just something off about her."
"Wasn't she caught in an explosion before?"
"Yeah, because her crazy father was running all kinds of experiments. Rumor has it, he was experimenting on her."
"It would explain how weird she is."
"It's no wonder she doesn't have any friends."
"Who would want to be friends with that freak?"
"Hotaru-chan, you're going to be late for school," Michiru Kaioh called out from the other side of the bedroom door. She knocked twice, and paused hoping to hear movement. Brushing her long locks out of her face, she let out a quiet sigh, her hand reaching for the doorknob. It twisted in her palm.
Hotaru Tomoe pulled the door open, her head held low, her eyes following her feet out of the room. "I'm already up," she said, brushing past and heading into a nearby bathroom. Hotaru closed the door, dropping her school bag onto the floor and turned on the faucet. The rushing sound of the water drowned everything out, and focused her thoughts. She slowly lifted her head, gazing at her reflection.
Her dark purple eyes reflected as pools of darkness, of nothing. Her pale skin was almost opaque. Still, she started her normal routine: washing her face, moisturizing it, and adding makeup. Creating her daily mask of secrets,
Pushing up the sleeves to her jacket, Hotaru ignored the scars of her past on her wrists. Her hands moved mechanically as she scrubbed away the previous night's sleep. Turning off the water, she took a step back from the sink, glancing at her face.
"Breakfast is on the table," Haruka Tenoh's rough voice called from the other side of the door. It was known that the head of the household didn't like early mornings, but breakfast was a surefire way to get her out of bed. Hotaru's lips pulled to the side in a half-smile, but she didn't feel the happiness or laughter that usually came with the motion. In fact, she hadn't felt anything in so long, that she had forgotten that she ever used to feel anything at all.
Applying a thin layer of colored eye-shadow, eyeliner, and lip-gloss, Hotaru looked at her reflection once more. Leaning forward, she finally took note that her reflection was slightly off-center. She reached up and pushed the mirror closed, hearing the magnets lock in place, hiding the medicine cabinet from sight.
Hotaru took a step back, fluffed up her hair, and gave her reflection a nod before picking up her schoolbag and exiting the room. She made her way down the stairs, pausing on the last step to push down her sleeves before making her way into the kitchen. She forced a smile and greeted everyone.
"There's a lot to choose from," Setstuna Meioh said as she pulled Hotaru into her side, giving her a light kiss on the forehead. Hotaru scanned the table, quickly noticing everything was her favorite breakfast foods. She reached into her school bag and pulled out a pocket watch, glancing at the time.
"I'm close to being late." Hotaru reached into a nearby cupboard and pulled out a few a paper plates, stacking them on top of each other. "I'll eat on the way." She placed small portions of every serving of food onto her place, and grabbed a few napkins as well. Hotaru gave Haruka and Michiru a hug and a kiss as well before rushing off towards the front door. Balancing her food in one hand, she tried to place her shoes on with the other.
"Have a good day," Haruka called out.
"Goodbye," Hotaru answered. She paused, a hand on the doorknob. She glanced at the three pairs of shoes left by the door, before walking back towards the kitchen. "I love you," she said.
The three older women shared a brief look with each other before smiling back at their young daughter. "We love you too," Michiru warmly said. Hotaru gave a small wave before rushing out the door. It clicked back into place, the only sound in the house was Hotaru sliding her key into the lock, closing the door behind her.
"Should we intervene?" Haruka asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Michiru looked down into her cup of tea, watching the ripples race across the surface. "We always said we'd support her, no matter what."
"No," Setsuna said softly, gently shaking her head. "She knows that we support her. Hotaru will come to us when she's ready."
"Are you sure?" Michiru pressed.
"Today's the first of a new month. A new beginning." Setsuna shifted in her chair, offering up a smile. "A rabbit will cross her path and give her good luck."
Hotaru licked her lips, wiping her fingers clean with a napkin. She gently placed her trash into a trashcan as she passed by. Up ahead, a group of girls were laughing loudly. They all wore the same uniform as Hotaru, making them look like multiples. Like friends.
One of the girls looked over her shoulder and spotted Hotaru. She quickly faced forward and whispered something to the girl on her left. The other three girls looked at Hotaru, and began whispering to each other, pointing behind their backs. Their laughter grew louder as she hurried their steps up the street. As soon as they turned a corner, everything went still. Hotaru didn't hear anything, not even the sound of a dog barking on the other side of the fence. Not even her own breathing. Nothing.
As she turned the corner, a loud voice broke through the voice. "Taru-chan!"
Hotaru blinked in surprise as she saw Chibiusa Tsukino frantically waving to her at the intersection down the street. She sped up her steps, reaching the energetic girl in a matter of moments. Chibiusa smiled brightly as she greeted Hotaru.
Chibiusa has grown up over the years. Her pink hair grew out, while not quite as long as Usagi Tsukino's, but was starting to resemble the signature look. Except, she kept her triangle points of her hair buns.
"What are you doing here?" Hotaru asked, her voice quiet.
"I wanted to walk you to school," Chibiusa said, falling in step with Hotaru as she continued on her journey. Chibiusa looked ahead at the group of girls from Hotaru's school. They all watched in shock, no words being said. The laughter and whispers a mere memory. "I just had a feeling that you needed it today."
"Thank you."
The two walked on in silence. Occasionally their elbows would bump into each other, but Hotaru wasn't bothered by it. She felt numb to the touch. While Hotaru didn't feel up to talking, she forced herself to do it anyway, wanting to appear as normal as possible. It didn't' seem like Chibiusa noticed a difference, until they reached a crosswalk and had to go into different directions.
"Have a good day at school!" Chibiusa gave her a hug. Hotaru automatically reached out and placed her arms around her friend. She closed her eyes, and rested her forehead on Chibiusa's shoulder, relaxing in her embrace. The scent of roses and vanilla engulfed her. Chibiusa tightened her hold. "Let's go to the botanical garden tonight," Chibusa quietly suggested into her ear. She tightened her grip around her friend, almost to an uncomfortable degree. "They have a new firefly exhibit."
Hotaru slowly opened her eyes, and found her grey world was the faintest shade of pink, in between the hues of pink lemonade and pink crepe. The brightest pink was, of course, Chibiusa's hair, but it didn't overwhelm Hotaru, it made her peaceful and comforted.
"Sounds good," Hotaru answered, pulling away. She gave Chibiusa a gentle smile and a nod, before turning on her heel, heading into the direction of her school. After a few paces she stopped, a heavy weight pulling on her arm. Hotaru turned, noticing Chibusa tightly lacing their fingers together. Her nerve endings erupted, slowly sending feeling back into her hand. Hotaru squeezed tightly, wanting to remember the feeling.
"Do you promise?" Chibusa asked, looking straight into Hotaru's eyes. Hotaru broke her gaze and looked up at the sky. She watched as the clouds rolled across the sky, revealing the hiding sun. The darkness slowly lifted across the city. Hotaru closed her eyes, feeling the sense of something light across her face, her skin tingling. She finally lowered her head and turned back to her friend, looking directly into her red eyes.
"Yes, Chibiusa-chan." Hotaru said firmly. "I promise."
Chibiusa smiled, before squeezing her hand. "…You can let go when you need to," she said. Hotaru felt a weird sensation bubbling up as she smiled once more. It felt familiar, something about the way her lips were forming. Something that should have made itself known this morning when Haruka talked to her from the other side of the bathroom. A flicker of happiness warmed her cold insides. Hotaru gripped Chibiusa's hands with both of her own, feeling the warmth moving across her body, making her feel alive once more. Finally, she let go, dropping her hands to her sides.
Chibiusa released her grip and checked her watch. She let out a shriek before dashing off in the direction of her school. The warmth in Hotaru's palm slowly faded as she continued her way to school. A rattling sound caught her attention. Cars passed by, racing into the distance. Horns honking and birds chirping pierced the quiet air.
Hotaru stopped and reached into her school bag. Her hand paused as she grabbed onto the clear, plastic baggy. Removing it from the depths of the bag, she looked at every white pill, reading the small letters on the surface. Hotaru took in a deep breath, the hint of roses and vanilla tickling her nostrils. She crushed the bag in her fist and tossed them into a nearby trashcan. Hotaru lifted her head, and continued to school, ready to face the day.
The slight shade of pink tint lingered, gradually forming into the normal colors of the world.
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