Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue.
A.N. This was originally better but my computer shut down while I was writing. I wanted to post this before I signed off for the night.
Hope you enjoy
She was hanging up pictures on her wall and they had had a few too many drinks when she blurted out to Traci that she hooked up with Sam.
She had been honest and told Traci that it was the best mistake of her life. The look Traci gave her made her want to retract her words. Things were simple with Luke. Things with Sam were more complicated.
Traci made her write Sam's name on a piece of paper and stick it in a jar filled with water. "Put Sam Swarek on ice, forget the blackout ever happened."
Andy complied. Her gut feeling told her that something was going to happen, something bad, because of this. She wrote off her gut feeling (Sam would have been mad at her) saying it was the wine she had been drinking.
Luke came over the next night. Taking Traci's comment of "girlfriend of the year" to heart, she invited him to a homemade dinner. She was currently in the kitchen making dinner and so, when Luke needed a drink, he went to fill his glass with ice instead of her getting a glass for him. Instead of coming up behind when he filled his cup, he walked into the main room. "What's going on with you and Swarek?"
She looked at him. "What do you mean?"
He rattled his cup and she realized that he saw the paper with Sam's name on it. "Secrets Andy, they don't work. They never do."
"I don't want secrets."
"Then tell me the truth. I can't help you unless you tell me the truth."
"Don't do that. I'm not a suspect Luke."
"Okay, and I'm not blind."
"It was one night. I didn't even sleep with him, okay? I…"
"Then what did you do?"
"Nothing."
"I'm gonna go."
"No Luke, please don't, okay, don't go."
"Please, stop, please. One night? I don't know what that means. I don't know what you're saying. But I do know that it is not nothing. It is not Andy."
"Luke, really…" He stormed out.
She stood in her main room for a full minute, dumbfound. How could this have happened?
Finally, she pulled herself together and turned all of the appliances in the kitchen off. She found her cell phone on the counter and dialed Traci's number. When it went straight to voicemail, she snapped the phone shut and threw herself onto the couch. Leo was with Dex tonight so Traci and Jerry are probably celebrating Rebecca's safety.
She should be angry at Traci. It was Traci's idea to write Sam's name and stick it in the freezer. But she couldn't be angry at Traci because Traci told her to put it in the freezer and she had left it where Luke could find it.
Rage suddenly filled her. Stupid glass jar! She walked into the kitchen and yanked open the freezer. She pulled out the jar and stared at it. Then, with a smile, she let go and heard a satisfying CRASH as the glass jar shattered all over her kitchen. Leaving the mess, she returned to the couch.
Hugging a pillow close to her, she thought about the predicament she was in. Part of her wanted to run to Luke's apartment, to explain to him that on the night that she killed someone she just needed someone to hold her. Since he was unavailable, she ran to her training officer.
The other part of her (and, if she was honest, the larger part) wanted to run to Sam. Running to him that night had been the best mistake of her life. Yeah, he was her training officer, but he wasn't one to follow rules.
As she sat there thinking, the words her father had told her floated into her mind: You remember, you're Andy McNally and you're gonna be great.
Yes! She was Andy McNally and she wasn't going to let this bump in the road stand in the way of her becoming a great cop.
She had to be honest with herself. Luke, he was "safe". Why? Probably because he was similar to her father. To be honest, that was not a good thing. Her father had been so invested in the job that her mother had walked out. Her father had been so invested in the job that when he left the department (because he was drinking since her mother left), he found that he had nothing. That was Luke. Cases came first, everything else came second.
Sam, on the other hand, cared about her. Well, in the past few days he had been nasty to her, but, in a weird way, he still showed concern for her well being.
She had to talk to him, explain her feelings and find out why he said "it was what it was". Looking back, she was pretty sure that Luke had something to do with it.
NO! She was, as her father said, ANDY MCNALLY. She would bring the McNally name honor. Only after her rookie year was over would she talk to Sam about her true feelings.
Comforted that she had made her decision, Andy went into her bedroom to get ready for bed, setting her alarm to go off earlier so she would have time to clean her kitchen in the morning.