Year: 1st
House: Hufflepuff
Category: Short Story
Prompt: Anticipation
Title: One Upon a Malfoy
Wordcount: 1101
Betas: Pix, Rose
A/N: Warnings! Homosexuality, Harry/Draco pairing, AU, EXTREMELY AU, Voldemort's Son!Harry, I think that's it.
Once upon a time, there was a lovely young man named Draco. Now Draco had a problem. He was too beautiful. Not only was Draco beautiful, but he was lonely too. People seemed to surround him every day, but he was still very much alone. Because of his lonely popularity, he'd unfortunately gotten the attention of a certain power figure, Voldemort, who didn't like the fact that people were beginning to worship good old Draco instead of him. So Voldemort devised a plan to get rid of Draco.
Voldemort, you have power, why not just kill Draco?
No? You want to make it long and drawn out? Ok.
Now while Voldy makes a plan to dispose of Draco, let's return to Draco himself.
I know the fangirls are dying from anticipation right now, so I'm going to draw this out as much as I can. Let us return to Draco.
I'm going to draw you back to Draco's second personality trait, loneliness. Draco was gorgeous, but in the way where people only admired him from afar. He was just too beautiful for this world and it was dragging him down.
So one day Draco came across a fortune teller; the cheapskate couldn't even be called an Oracle. Now the Ora-fortune teller told Draco that he was going to find love. So Draco rejoiced.
"Yay! I won't die alone!"
It's never that easy.
Then the fortune teller told him he was gonna fall in love with a monster, so that kind of sucked.
Meanwhile, Voldy (remember him?) had become even more jealous. But not to worry, his plan was finished being concocted. Voldy went and told his son, Harry, the Love Doctor, to make Draco fall in love with some ugly monster. So one night Harry went down to spy on Draco and do the deed, when he was astounded by Draco's good looks.
This caused the Love Doctor to...accidentally drink some of his own love potion.
*Sighs*
Now Harry was in love with Draco, and Draco had become a frequent customer at the fortune teller's shop because he was not only beautiful and lonely. He was also rich.
*Sighs again*
This time, the fortune teller told Draco, who was now brimming with anticipation of meeting some monster lover, to go wait on a cliff for his monster boyfriend.
Then, who comes by, but a friendly group of wild golden snitches who carry Draco over to his monster boyfriend's magical palace of wonders. This was fine with Draco because he didn't one hundred percent mind being in a palace. Besides, like the Belle he was, he could "see the good in a beast."
Whatever that meant.
Anyway, Draco walked into the magical palace, and Harry just happened to be waiting, invisible, for Draco to walk in.
Why, do you ask? Two words. Plot convenience.
So Harry was like, "you aren't like...allowed to see me because if you did, everything would be ruined. But feel free to make yourself at home."
And Draco didn't mind this, because what was the matter with having an invisible boyfriend? I mean…*cough cough* Draco, even during certain events….
It's your decision to take this further in your head. I mean, if you want to go there.
…
You dirty scoundrel!
...
Ok...continuing with the story. Draco's sisters, (a/n: By the way he has two sisters) visited him one day, and because they were the typical jealous types that they were, they were all,
"Well, you don't know what he looks like, he could be hideous, or a killer."
And Draco took their thoughts into consideration, and decided one night to go, using an oil lamp, to spot his magical invisible boyfriend. But as the lamp light reached Harry, Draco realized his invisible boyfriend was actually a not so invisible, Harry(a/n: By the way Harry is basically like a god). And stunned by Harry's beauty, Draco, (say it with me folks,) accidentally drank one of the love potions.
*facepalm*
Moving on, it turned out that the oil from Draco's lamp was also in love with Harry, and a little bit of it hopped out of the lantern in an attempt to get a little closer to him. This burned Harry, and he flew off.
Because "BETRAYAL!"
*angrily sighs*
This made Voldemort even more upset with Draco. So he scooted down on over to Draco and was all, "If you wanna get your boyfriend back, you are gonna have to complete four tasks."
Draco accepted, because how hard could it be?
Hard…..you'll learn Draco, you'll learn.
The first task was for Draco to sort an entire ton of different colored cherries in one night.
Don't despair, since Draco was basically an archetypical Princess, a bunch of wild birds came and sorted the cherries for him.
The next task was for Draco to go get some feathers from a magical phoenix that killed most everyone it saw. But while Draco was busy trying to drown (a/n: He keeps trying to kill himself because "a life without Harry is no life at all" which is extreme but to each their own), a friendly water nymph told him that he could just go to a thorn bush and take some feathers from there.
Draco did this, and now Voldemort was like, trying to conflict Draco's emotions.
Draco's next lovely task was to….push his sisters….off a cliff.
Uh oh.
Actually, Draco didn't have to do this, because just as Draco walked them to the edge and backed up to get a running start, the ground broke from under them and they fell to their doom.
Well, at least ya got off scot free, eh Draco?
While Draco mourned the loss of his sisters, Voldy told him that the last task was to go to Hermione, a mythical knowledge goddess, and ask for some of her wisdom and beauty.
Draco did this, and opened the box that Hermione gave him to see what wisdom and beauty looked like personified. Sadly, Hermione was under strict orders to give Draco some good old Death instead.
But, you guessed it, Voldy. Draco died, and his last thoughts were, "I will never forget you, my love."
Sappy, I know. Moving on.
Harry, who had quit moping about, left to find his boyfriend, who was now dead. But using some of his magic potion stuff, he gave Draco life again. This time, it was eternal life, so Draco was basically a god. And then, *sighs* Draco bumped Harry and made him accidentally drink the potion too. So now they were both immortal.
They lived Happily Ever After.
*drops mic*
I'm done. Goodbye. This was an interesting story. I will take my leave.