Harry Potter and the Final Duel
Chapter 1: Owls Bringing O.W.L.S.
A/N: This is the 6th book by us!
Harry was awoken by the thunder-like crashing of pots and pans. Apparently, Uncle Vernon was attempting to cook breakfast, and from the sound of it failing pathetically. Harry groped around for his glasses, finally locating them behind the potion's report he had been working on the night before.
His world slid into focus as he put on his glasses and turned on the light. He looked around his room for Hedwig, and noticed that she had still not returned from her night's hunting.
"Boy! Get your lazy arse down here and cook breakfast!" Yelled Uncle Vernon from the kitchen.
Harry sighed and pulled on a pair of over sized jeans and an equally large T-shirt, both hand-me-downs from his incredibly obese cousin. Not bothering with shoes, he went down stairs to help Uncle Vernon with the cooking.
Normally, Aunt Petunia would at least start breakfast and then leave him to finish the job, but she had gone on a week long trip with her book club. She had only left yesterday and Harry's world had already become a mixture of slave work and homework.
Of course, it was not as bad as it could have been. All Harry had to do to get out of something was to slyly mention Lupin, Tonks and Mad-Eye's threat. It normally got the Dursleys to leave him alone for at least a small amount of time.
"Boy, hurry up!" Uncle Vernon's voice came up the stairs laced with suppressed anger and annoyance.
"Coming!" Harry shouted back. He tried to limit his use of the Mad- Eye's threat to once a day, as to not anger the Dursleys past the breaking point.
Harry got to the kitchen to find it a complete wreck, a complete wreck he would have to clean up later. Suppressing his anger, he walked over to the stove and started to make some scrambled eggs.
As he made breakfast, his mind began to wander back to the place that he truly considered his home: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Yes, Harry Potter was indeed a wizard.
Only a few hours short of 16, his once thin and lanky body now had developed some muscle tone, as well as gaining a few inches. Unfortunately, puberty had done nothing to help his hair, which still refused to be anything other than unruly.
His green eyes dulled when he remembered that there were still 2 months separating him from Hogwarts. A scar in the shape of a lightening bolt decorated his forehead, although at the moment his unruly hair hid it. He blew a strand of his unruly hair out of his face revealing his scar momentarily, only to have his hair fall stubbornly back to the exact same place it had been.
He finished cooking the eggs and served it up on plates. Dudley, his cousin, shoved the food in his mouth as if he was a vacuum cleaner. Just last year, Dudley had been taken off of a diet after he made a great fuss about it, holding his breath until his face turned blue, causing him to resemble a giant blueberry. His parents, fearing he would lose too many brain cells and not be able to get into Oxford, had finally given in. Now, he ate the food as if each meal would be his last.
Harry ate his breakfast slowly, his thoughts elsewhere. He had a potions essay upstairs that he had only managed to complete half of the night before. He took his plate and fork and began to quietly walk upstairs. Uncle Vernon and Dudley were too busy talking about who-knows- what to notice him leaving. To be perfectly honest, Harry could've left the building whenever he wanted to, now that Aunt Petunia was on vacation. But he had direct orders from Dumbledore not to. Although Dumbledore seemed to be a nice old gentleman, Harry would not want to be on his bad side after witnessing the battle between him and Voldemort the year before.
Harry entered his room, intent upon finishing his dreaded potions essay as soon as possible. But Hedwig, along with three other owls, sat upon bed waiting to have their messages received and to receive a reward, namely food, for their long journeys. Harry promptly shoved his potions essay aside and went to attend to the owls.
Harry first took a professional-looking letter off of Hedwig's leg. The top of the letter was posted, "Private Information, Order of Merlin, O.W.L.S. of Harry Potter." His hands shook with nervousness as he opened the letter that contained his grades from the exams he took the year before. He opened the letter and read the results...
The following are the official results of Harry Potter's fifth year O.W.L.S. (As a reminder-) O: Outstanding E: Exceeds Expectations A: Average P: Poor D: Dreadful
Transfiguration: O Defense Against the Dark Arts: O Charms: E Divination: P Care of Magical Creatures: E History of Magic: D Astronomy: P Potions: O
Any complaints or questions about these grades may be addressed to Professor Albus Dumbledore by owl. We kindly ask that all parents/guardians discuss these grades with their children before sending any howlers or complaints to teachers.
Professor McGonagall Assistant Headmistress
The first thought that came into Harry's brain after skimming over his results was that Professor Dumbledore must have influenced the outcome of his grades dramatically. Especially the O in potions, as he had not managed to make an O on a single Potions pre-test; ever. He had, to his pleasure, done well in all his classes. Well, all the classes that he actually cared about. Although he was happy with his grades, they didn't distract him from the other owls that awaited him for very long.
Erole, the Weasleys' family owl, seemed to be ready to die from the weight of the package attached to his leg. Inside the colorfully wrapped box Erole had brought him were many other packages. He first opened a red box, which turned out to be from Ron, inside of the box were many practice snitches. The label on the package stated that they would return to the owner when whistled for. Another package contained homemade cookies and a picture of the Weasley family from Mrs. Weasley. The last package was from the twins, shockingly it contained numerous items that could be used to prank anyone and anything from their new store and a small envelope. Inside the envelope was a letter that stated:
Harry – Happy Birthday, Harry! After much nagging from my dear mother, I have decided to return to Hogwarts this year to complete my education. It's so stupid, they're making me redo the entire year even though I already completed a semester. George, the lucky jerk, gets to stay with the shop. Don't you hate him? Hey man, it'll be cool spendin' another year corrupting you and your friends. Did ya pass any of your OWLS? You couldn't have done worse than George! Prank your evil cousin! Fred P.S. – Be careful when you use the fireworks. We haven't worked out all of the bugs yet. But they look really cool! Have fun!
Harry set his gifts aside, except for the cookies, which he ate with his scrambled eggs. The owl Hermione had sent was hooting at him, so he took the package off of it's leg and tore it open. Inside was a book titled Famous Seekers' Secrets. He had expected Hermione to give him a book, but he never thought she would send him one he would want to read.
He pushed the book aside to open another package, which turned out to be from Lupin. Inside the small package there was at least a pound of chocolate and a picture of the Marauders. They were all sitting by the lake waving at the camera with Peter's face burnt out.
The final package had several large, odd holes that identified it to be from Hagrid. On top of the package was a small note that said:
Harry – Wantd ya ta practise yur parseltounge so ya don forget it. Hope ya like it. Happy Birthday! Hagrid
'Oh no,' Harry thought. Then he noticed the irate hissing coming from
inside the box. 'He sent me a snake,' he thought. And, indeed, when Harry
opened the package there was a one yard long golden snake slithering
around the inside. 'Of course Hagrid wouldn't think to tell me what kind
of snake it was,' he thought. Harry handed the snake his last piece of
bacon left over from his breakfast and went to tend to the mess he had
made opening the packages.
As he threw all of the torn up paper into the waste bin, he noticed a letter that he had not opened. Upon the letter was a wax emblem sporting the Hogwarts seal. Inside of it were numerous pages of parchment. The page on the top of the mass stated:
Students,
During this year, in hopes to unite the American and European wizarding worlds, four American exchange students will be transferring into Hogwarts for the first semester. These four girls will be in the sixth year and are to be sorted directly before the first years.
The second semester, fifth through seventh year students will be transferring to the American wizarding school, Salem School of Withcraft and Wizardry. Please be sure to have your permission slip signed by either a parent or guardian or we shall be forced to leave you at Hogwarts to attend fourth year classes for the rest of the semester.
We are looking for parent volunteers to help chaperone the trip. We are also looking for qualified parents to take over the roles of Potions Master, Transfiguration Master, and Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher.
Harry looked to the next page, already plotting ways to forge Uncle Vernon's signature upon the awaiting permission slip. To Harry's surprise, the slip was already signed. In swirling font, the name of Albus Dumbledore decorated the line that Harry expected to find blank. With that weight off of his shoulders, Harry returned to the first page and continued reading.
We expect that any traditions of the exchange students shall be respected. Any student found criticizing, taunting, or harassing the Americans shall not be allowed on the trip and be punished by anyway Filch sees fit. Furthermore, the Americans are not to be shunned, if their abilities are not at the same grade level as our sixth years' as the American and European education systems are not parallel. Although they may seem odd at first, I am positive that you will find that despite your differences, you are all quite similar.
Deputy Headmistress Professor Minerva McGonagall
Harry turned to the third page of the packet which was, as he expected, the annual school supply list. As usual they were required to have robes, quills, parchment, and the other usual items. This year Harry would also be required to bring a cauldron twice as large as the one required last year, a new potions book, a new Defense Against the Dark Arts Book, and a new Transfiguration book.
It looked as if it were going to be an interesting year. Perhaps these new Americans would be able to take his mind of the rise of Voldemort and the new deaths that would most likely fill his life from now until Voldemort was finally defeated. Besides, a free trip to America sounded like a great way to get his mind off the impending war. Maybe the Americans would be able to teach him some new quidditch tricks while they were here.
A/N: Hey! This is actually a joint fic by me and three of my totally awesome friends! Yep, nothing like a common obsession to bring people together. PLEASE Review. It gives us life. This fic will be funny soon, well, as soon as those insane Americans get here. (Chapter 3). So REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 1: Owls Bringing O.W.L.S.
A/N: This is the 6th book by us!
Harry was awoken by the thunder-like crashing of pots and pans. Apparently, Uncle Vernon was attempting to cook breakfast, and from the sound of it failing pathetically. Harry groped around for his glasses, finally locating them behind the potion's report he had been working on the night before.
His world slid into focus as he put on his glasses and turned on the light. He looked around his room for Hedwig, and noticed that she had still not returned from her night's hunting.
"Boy! Get your lazy arse down here and cook breakfast!" Yelled Uncle Vernon from the kitchen.
Harry sighed and pulled on a pair of over sized jeans and an equally large T-shirt, both hand-me-downs from his incredibly obese cousin. Not bothering with shoes, he went down stairs to help Uncle Vernon with the cooking.
Normally, Aunt Petunia would at least start breakfast and then leave him to finish the job, but she had gone on a week long trip with her book club. She had only left yesterday and Harry's world had already become a mixture of slave work and homework.
Of course, it was not as bad as it could have been. All Harry had to do to get out of something was to slyly mention Lupin, Tonks and Mad-Eye's threat. It normally got the Dursleys to leave him alone for at least a small amount of time.
"Boy, hurry up!" Uncle Vernon's voice came up the stairs laced with suppressed anger and annoyance.
"Coming!" Harry shouted back. He tried to limit his use of the Mad- Eye's threat to once a day, as to not anger the Dursleys past the breaking point.
Harry got to the kitchen to find it a complete wreck, a complete wreck he would have to clean up later. Suppressing his anger, he walked over to the stove and started to make some scrambled eggs.
As he made breakfast, his mind began to wander back to the place that he truly considered his home: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Yes, Harry Potter was indeed a wizard.
Only a few hours short of 16, his once thin and lanky body now had developed some muscle tone, as well as gaining a few inches. Unfortunately, puberty had done nothing to help his hair, which still refused to be anything other than unruly.
His green eyes dulled when he remembered that there were still 2 months separating him from Hogwarts. A scar in the shape of a lightening bolt decorated his forehead, although at the moment his unruly hair hid it. He blew a strand of his unruly hair out of his face revealing his scar momentarily, only to have his hair fall stubbornly back to the exact same place it had been.
He finished cooking the eggs and served it up on plates. Dudley, his cousin, shoved the food in his mouth as if he was a vacuum cleaner. Just last year, Dudley had been taken off of a diet after he made a great fuss about it, holding his breath until his face turned blue, causing him to resemble a giant blueberry. His parents, fearing he would lose too many brain cells and not be able to get into Oxford, had finally given in. Now, he ate the food as if each meal would be his last.
Harry ate his breakfast slowly, his thoughts elsewhere. He had a potions essay upstairs that he had only managed to complete half of the night before. He took his plate and fork and began to quietly walk upstairs. Uncle Vernon and Dudley were too busy talking about who-knows- what to notice him leaving. To be perfectly honest, Harry could've left the building whenever he wanted to, now that Aunt Petunia was on vacation. But he had direct orders from Dumbledore not to. Although Dumbledore seemed to be a nice old gentleman, Harry would not want to be on his bad side after witnessing the battle between him and Voldemort the year before.
Harry entered his room, intent upon finishing his dreaded potions essay as soon as possible. But Hedwig, along with three other owls, sat upon bed waiting to have their messages received and to receive a reward, namely food, for their long journeys. Harry promptly shoved his potions essay aside and went to attend to the owls.
Harry first took a professional-looking letter off of Hedwig's leg. The top of the letter was posted, "Private Information, Order of Merlin, O.W.L.S. of Harry Potter." His hands shook with nervousness as he opened the letter that contained his grades from the exams he took the year before. He opened the letter and read the results...
The following are the official results of Harry Potter's fifth year O.W.L.S. (As a reminder-) O: Outstanding E: Exceeds Expectations A: Average P: Poor D: Dreadful
Transfiguration: O Defense Against the Dark Arts: O Charms: E Divination: P Care of Magical Creatures: E History of Magic: D Astronomy: P Potions: O
Any complaints or questions about these grades may be addressed to Professor Albus Dumbledore by owl. We kindly ask that all parents/guardians discuss these grades with their children before sending any howlers or complaints to teachers.
Professor McGonagall Assistant Headmistress
The first thought that came into Harry's brain after skimming over his results was that Professor Dumbledore must have influenced the outcome of his grades dramatically. Especially the O in potions, as he had not managed to make an O on a single Potions pre-test; ever. He had, to his pleasure, done well in all his classes. Well, all the classes that he actually cared about. Although he was happy with his grades, they didn't distract him from the other owls that awaited him for very long.
Erole, the Weasleys' family owl, seemed to be ready to die from the weight of the package attached to his leg. Inside the colorfully wrapped box Erole had brought him were many other packages. He first opened a red box, which turned out to be from Ron, inside of the box were many practice snitches. The label on the package stated that they would return to the owner when whistled for. Another package contained homemade cookies and a picture of the Weasley family from Mrs. Weasley. The last package was from the twins, shockingly it contained numerous items that could be used to prank anyone and anything from their new store and a small envelope. Inside the envelope was a letter that stated:
Harry – Happy Birthday, Harry! After much nagging from my dear mother, I have decided to return to Hogwarts this year to complete my education. It's so stupid, they're making me redo the entire year even though I already completed a semester. George, the lucky jerk, gets to stay with the shop. Don't you hate him? Hey man, it'll be cool spendin' another year corrupting you and your friends. Did ya pass any of your OWLS? You couldn't have done worse than George! Prank your evil cousin! Fred P.S. – Be careful when you use the fireworks. We haven't worked out all of the bugs yet. But they look really cool! Have fun!
Harry set his gifts aside, except for the cookies, which he ate with his scrambled eggs. The owl Hermione had sent was hooting at him, so he took the package off of it's leg and tore it open. Inside was a book titled Famous Seekers' Secrets. He had expected Hermione to give him a book, but he never thought she would send him one he would want to read.
He pushed the book aside to open another package, which turned out to be from Lupin. Inside the small package there was at least a pound of chocolate and a picture of the Marauders. They were all sitting by the lake waving at the camera with Peter's face burnt out.
The final package had several large, odd holes that identified it to be from Hagrid. On top of the package was a small note that said:
Harry – Wantd ya ta practise yur parseltounge so ya don forget it. Hope ya like it. Happy Birthday! Hagrid
'Oh no,' Harry thought. Then he noticed the irate hissing coming from
inside the box. 'He sent me a snake,' he thought. And, indeed, when Harry
opened the package there was a one yard long golden snake slithering
around the inside. 'Of course Hagrid wouldn't think to tell me what kind
of snake it was,' he thought. Harry handed the snake his last piece of
bacon left over from his breakfast and went to tend to the mess he had
made opening the packages.
As he threw all of the torn up paper into the waste bin, he noticed a letter that he had not opened. Upon the letter was a wax emblem sporting the Hogwarts seal. Inside of it were numerous pages of parchment. The page on the top of the mass stated:
Students,
During this year, in hopes to unite the American and European wizarding worlds, four American exchange students will be transferring into Hogwarts for the first semester. These four girls will be in the sixth year and are to be sorted directly before the first years.
The second semester, fifth through seventh year students will be transferring to the American wizarding school, Salem School of Withcraft and Wizardry. Please be sure to have your permission slip signed by either a parent or guardian or we shall be forced to leave you at Hogwarts to attend fourth year classes for the rest of the semester.
We are looking for parent volunteers to help chaperone the trip. We are also looking for qualified parents to take over the roles of Potions Master, Transfiguration Master, and Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher.
Harry looked to the next page, already plotting ways to forge Uncle Vernon's signature upon the awaiting permission slip. To Harry's surprise, the slip was already signed. In swirling font, the name of Albus Dumbledore decorated the line that Harry expected to find blank. With that weight off of his shoulders, Harry returned to the first page and continued reading.
We expect that any traditions of the exchange students shall be respected. Any student found criticizing, taunting, or harassing the Americans shall not be allowed on the trip and be punished by anyway Filch sees fit. Furthermore, the Americans are not to be shunned, if their abilities are not at the same grade level as our sixth years' as the American and European education systems are not parallel. Although they may seem odd at first, I am positive that you will find that despite your differences, you are all quite similar.
Deputy Headmistress Professor Minerva McGonagall
Harry turned to the third page of the packet which was, as he expected, the annual school supply list. As usual they were required to have robes, quills, parchment, and the other usual items. This year Harry would also be required to bring a cauldron twice as large as the one required last year, a new potions book, a new Defense Against the Dark Arts Book, and a new Transfiguration book.
It looked as if it were going to be an interesting year. Perhaps these new Americans would be able to take his mind of the rise of Voldemort and the new deaths that would most likely fill his life from now until Voldemort was finally defeated. Besides, a free trip to America sounded like a great way to get his mind off the impending war. Maybe the Americans would be able to teach him some new quidditch tricks while they were here.
A/N: Hey! This is actually a joint fic by me and three of my totally awesome friends! Yep, nothing like a common obsession to bring people together. PLEASE Review. It gives us life. This fic will be funny soon, well, as soon as those insane Americans get here. (Chapter 3). So REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!