If I was normal, would I be loved? I walk to school every day and see parents hugging their kids;
wishing them a great day. At times, I wish I were those children. If I was normal, could I be able to
laugh? It's not that I can't but a person like me couldn't laugh without crying. I hate myself because I'm
different. I didn't choose to be; it was already decided for me at birth. A person like me will never know
what being normal is. Why? Why can't I feel that way? This curse is killing me. I can't take it anymore.
I don't want to be alone. If my life is always going to be this way, it would be easier just to end it now.
I grab the blade and start cutting, deeper and deeper. The blood drips onto the wood floor like
tears. I look at the window and see all the snow on the ground. My vision starts to get hazy. Soon, I will
fade away like snow and no one will care. I can't die in this house because of all the painful
memories. I slowly walk outside hoping to die in the woods. But I collapse in front of the house. The
snow feels so good on my skin. Would anyone care if I died right here? My world is getting darker and I
know life is draining out of me. I slowly begin to close my eyes and start to disappear when I hear I voice
calling my name.
Kyo!" I can't see who it is.
"Kyo!" I hear pounding footsteps and the voice is getting louder.
"Kyo!" I open my eyes and see Yuki.
The expression on his face is surprising. His eyes full of fear and worry. I didn't think I would see that
from him. He wraps his scarf around my wrists to stop the bleeding. I feel my body lift off the cold
snow. Darkness then consumes me.
I wake up in my room on my bed. I look at my wrists and see bandages wrapped around them.
"I'm glad you're awake."
I turn to see Yuki right next to me. "Kyo, why did you try to kill yourself?"
I close my eyes and search for right words to say.
"I want to have a normal life but I can't. I don't have
many friends and I don't have parents who love me. I couldn't live with this kind of pain. I DON'T HAVE
ANYONE, DAMNIT!"I try to hold in my tears but they flow right out. The room is filled with silence and I wish I could just run away.
"Do you truly believe no one loves you? I am your cousin and even though we fight all the time, I still care about you. I will always be there. Kyo, I believe that a lot of people care about you. We are your family and if you were gone, life wouldn't be the same."
I can't believe what I heard. He really does care. Was I wrong that nobody loved me?
"Kyo, promise me that you won't do that again."
"I promise."
I see his smile and the happiness in his eyes. Then, soon I found myself smiling as well. For the first time in my life, I felt loved.
