Sheith Angst week

Day 7: Nightmares

Keep your eyes closed

The sun tickling his skin felt real, just as real as Keith's hand running up and down his chest. He heard his voice, too, the soft huff of air caressing his cheek before his lips followed. Shiro opened his arms and the smaller body adjusted itself between them, welcoming the comfort and the warm kiss that followed.

"Keith." He called his name every time he was looking for another gesture, another small touch, another small kiss, and this time he got a small peck on his chin.

"Don't open your eyes," Keith reminded him as he continued to place butterfly kisses on his face. Shiro smiled, just relishing in the warm feeling.

"I wouldn't," he answered.

His hands traveled over Keith's back, down and then up again but underneath his shirt. His fingertips traced his bones, first the vertebrae and then the ribs. One by one while Keith seemed to have fallen asleep on top of him. Shiro sighed, counting every breath until he lost it, and started following his heartbeat. How long had it been, lying there under the warm sun? Keith seemed so calm that day, he could imagine him asleep on his chest.

The problem was that he wanted to see him so, so bad. His whole being craved to know how he looked like. Was he as beautiful as he sounded and felt? Would he see the love he professed for him in his eyes? If he could just catch a glance, just a small glimpse of the other man. He would open his eyes just one little second and…

He was alone in a dark room.

"You look tired." Matt pointed out very observantly. Shiro raised an eyebrow and his colleague laughed. "Someone keeping you up?"

"Sorta," he answered, eyes fixes on the coffee pouring out of the machine. Matt started chattering about his weekend, about his beloved internet girlfriend and how they spent three hours (yes, three. Shiro was not ready to hear Katie complaining about that.) talking with her on the phone. Matt talked way too much. Keith wouldn't, he thought and a tired smile surged on his face.

"Ohh, you're doing it again! I knew there was someone!"

Shiro rolled his eyes but laughed. Matt smiled, noticing how he wasn't denying anything.

Keith's breath came out trembling and Shiro had to fight the urge to open his eyes and see what he imagined as the most beautifully ethereal being. Instead he clenched his thighs and pulled him closer. Keith rolled his hips, and both sighed. He grinder harder, needier, and Shiro was so close to losing it. Keith hands were suddenly on his chest and he felt desire rush throughout his body, on a highway towards south. His grip tightened and he wished, again, that he could see the bruises he was leaving behind. His hands creeped up until he was squeezing his ass, tearing another soft pant from Keith's lips when he parted his buttocks, kneading them.

"Keith…" He called around a soft moan and Keith humped him with more eagerness, panting as Shiro's fingers brushed against his perineum. "Keith, wait… We don't…" he started saying, wanting to get up and almost instinctively opening his eyes.

Keith's hand landed on them as if he had foreseen his intention. "Don't worry, I got this."

"You got this?" Shiro repeated, inevitably confused as Keith took his hand back and leaned to the side. "What are you…?"

"Come on, Shiro, you know how sex works." Keith laughed and Shiro could feel the blush that creeped on his face. Keith propped himself back on his lap, pressing their dicks together. A small groan rumbled in his throat, but he went still when he heard the bottle cap pop. Keith accommodated himself back on top of Shiro and for a moment he wasn't sure what he was doing. He had an idea of what was happening on top of him but there was nothing to assure it. The friction of their cocks was making him grunt with frustration, and when he couldn't hold it any longer, he took them in his hand, and started stroking them together. Keith gasped, then softly cried out his name.

"Join me." He mewled, and Shiro brought his free hand to his hole. He pressed one finger, joining in Keith's two that were already buried inside him. He was twitching, quivering in anticipation, and groaned when Shiro's longer and thicker fingers pushed deeper into his yearning body. It was difficult to keep pumping their cocks together while prepping Keith thoroughly. Or trying at least. It felt as if he wasn't doing any of those things right, and yet he felt so on edge, so needy.

"Keith… I can't wait anymore…"

"Yes, I'm ready," Keith told him, taking out his fingers. Shiro did the same. He still held his pulsing cock while Keith guided him, holding him in place as he started descending on him. The tightness that engulfed Shiro was almost too much. It felt impossible to breath normally, at the same time to stay still as Keith adjusted.

Keith let himself fall down, taking Shiro all in, moaning loudly, so desperate. The rolling of his hips sent Shiro's eyeballs rolling too, and he squeezed them shut because damned him if he dared to open them now. Instead his nails bit deeper into Keith's skin, feeling it breaking without being able to care. How even, when Keith was almost screaming with every thrust, writhing desperately. The man on top of him rode him frantically, doing the same to his shoulders and his chest.

"Shiro, Shiro– fuck, Shiro… harder." He begged, and his head was spinning, going under with every moan and every curse. He was rushing so fast towards the end line it was scary and at the same time he wanted it so bad. It was like riding a broken roller coaster with a dead wish. If that even made sense…

Holy shit. Shiro's grip tensed when Keith slammed down again, tensing around him like a trap and oh boy did he feel trapped, swimming in hot, boiling water. And then…. Released. He came roaring his name again, and Keith tripped over the edge too.

It was silent for a whole second. Then he followed Keith's loud and erratic breath. His hands rested on both sides of his head, with his mouth so close. Every pant landed on Shiro's face, and Shiro felt complete and at peace. And very, very heavy.

Shiro contemplated que faint red stripes on his chest, and the not-so-discreet bruises and bite marks on his shoulders. The Shiro in the mirror didn't show surprise, just felt a bit self-conscious. Thank god he missed the neck. It was summer after all and he just wasn't and wouldn't ever be in the mood to listen to Matts bickering about how he wasn't getting any.

"You looked the other time, didn't you?"

He felt the guilt but at the same time he wanted to defend himself.

"It was just a second… I can't control if I blink…"

"Don't lie to me."

Shiro gulped.

"I just want to see you, please."

Keith didn't answer and he woke up to the screams of his alarm. The day was greeted with no wish of being actually awake.

"You look like shit."

"Thank you, Matt, I guess now I have no need for a mirror."

"Sheesh, today we have sassy and annoyed Shiro." Matt huffed and took his coffee, getting ahead.

As Shiro waited for his coffee, he went again over last night. He really wanted to see Keith. He hadn't appeared last night, nor the night before. It had been just two nights but he was already feeling uneasy and nervous, if not paranoid. Wasn't Keith going to come back? Was he that mad at him? When all Shiro wanted was… him.

He practically crawled to his desk and slumped on his chair. Matt flashed him a quick look over the edge of his display. Shiro started his computer up. He started clicking through his pending mails, not deciding on which to start.

"Hey… Matt."

"Hmm?"

"You still dating that Internet girl?"

"Yes, why?"

"Have you met her already?"

"Nope."

"Do you at least know what she looks like?"

"No-ope."

Shiro raised an eyebrow and his colleague sighed.

"I mean, I know it's been almost half a year, and that it would be normal to have seen at least her face… but she's really shy, ok?"

"Yeah, but not to shy to date a stranger on the Internet…"

"First, I'm not a stranger. I'm Tumblrfamous."

"Whatever that is…"

"Shut up. And second, we've been mutuals for quite some time, ok?"

"Ok, I guess… It's just a picture anyway, I don't get the fuss," Shiro murmured.

Matt shrugged.

"I guess I'll ask her for a picture soon. I mean, I respect it if she doesn't want. But yes, it would be nice to see her…"

Shiro nodded almost too eagerly.

It was cold when he felt Keith's weight lower on him. His arms shot up, capturing him against his chest, and he squeezed his eyes shut so hard it hurt. Keith laid on him without offering any resistance, like he needed the closeness just as much as Shiro did. Shiro wanted to ask why he felt like this.

Instead, he heard Keith's voice far, far away.

"Where have you been?"

"I was here? Where have been you?"

"I don't understand… Keith?"

He heard his sigh and felt even more coldness.

"You have to stay," Keith finally said, sounding as close as he imagined him.

"I stay as long as I can every night, Keith," he insisted. However, Keith just sighed again and it was the most hurting sound he ever heard. It seemed almost like he was sobbing.

"You know? If you go now… I might not be here when you come back," he whispered, suddenly close, stroking his hair. "I won't be here."

"What do you mean you won't be here? You know I have to eventually wake up?"

"Are you saying I'm just a dream?"

Shiro didn't know what to reply. Panic overcame him. How was he supposed to answer that? What was he talking about?

"Keith, please… I just want to be with you."

"Then why did you look?"

"I'm sorry, it's just… please, Keith, I can do it this time. Please, please just stay!"

"I'm sorry, Shiro."

Keith lips were cold when they brushed against his forehead. It felt like nothing but a mere brush of air and Shiro tried desperately to clutch at him.

"No, don't go." His voice trembled as he pleaded. He wanted to hold him tighter, but he felt like a ghost in his arms, like something imaginary that had never been there. Except Shiro knew he was real. He had held him, had felt him so real, so alive, he couldn't just disappear. Keith's voice was the realest thing he had ever experienced, his laugh gave him more live than any other thing during the day ever did.

"Don't do this." He pleaded and his voice sounded broken, as if he wasn't getting air.

Keith did answer, he just didn't quite get it. Was he really speaking to him?

"Keith! No, Keith! Keith, come back!"

Tears were streaming down his cheeks when his eyes opened.

Closing them was just useless.