GIVING UP THE FIGHT
***I own nothing to do with Stargate except my shippy ideas! *****
A/Notes: Credit where credit is due to Kevin Cronin who wrote "Can't Fight this Feeling Anymore"—words and music. What a fabulous song!
Daniel Jackson started to roll over and groaned. His mouth tasted sour and his head felt like exploding. Oh yeah he knew this feeling…a hangover! There was a reason he never drank, he got the world's worst hangovers after just three or four beers. It had never ceased to entertain Jack O'Neill that Daniel would get drunk so quick. In the years after Sha're's death, Daniel had drowned his pain in booze, but he never learned to "hold his liquor" as the saying goes. Why on earth would he have gotten drunk this time? Daniel lay in the bed, squinting at the bright sun peering in his window, when he realized there was music playing in his apartment. He couldn't quite make out the words and felt too shitty to try. Damn what happened last night?
The night before-
"Here's to the happy couple!" Jack O'Neill raised his beer bottle to Cameron Mitchell and his new fiancée, Dr. Carolyn Lam. SG1, retired General O'Neill, General Landry, and a few others from the SGC were at O'Malley's celebrating the engagement. Actually most of the patrons there were from the SGC and the entire tavern had taken on a party atmosphere. The jukebox was cranking out song after song as the small dance floor grew increasingly crowded. Daniel was surprised when a Marine approached their table and invited Vala to dance. She happily threw herself into the party atmosphere.
"Are you going to let that guy muscle in on your action?" Jack smirked at Daniel. He lifted his beer still grinning at Daniel, and then turned to Samantha Carter-O'Neill on his right, "you thought I was thick! Danny-boy here makes me seem positively astute about women." Sam shushed her husband and sent Daniel a sympathetic look. Daniel ignored Jack as usual and watched Vala move across the dance floor. His eyes narrowed as he sipped his beer; that Marine was getting pretty friendly with Vala. The song changed and another Marine was dancing with Vala.
"It's our turn, honey" Cam stood up and took Carolyn's hand. "With your permission General" he looked at Landry.
"Why not son, you are going be marrying into the family" Landry smiled at the way his daughter rolled her eyes at the two of them. He knew that Cam was going to have his hands full for the rest of his life. He turned to his ex-wife at his side. "Kim, shall we leave these kids to their party? There is a lovely moon out tonight." As he guided his ex-wife outside, Jack couldn't stop grinning.
"Sam, there are going to be two weddings in that family soon! Walter is going to owe me money!" Jack looked around for Sgt. Harriman, the one who ran the base betting pools. The SGC bet on everything from relationships to how many ribs Cam would break in a month to how often Teal'c would say indeed each week.
Sam wasn't paying attention to Jack, she was watching Daniel eye Vala on the dance floor as he finished his third beer and ordered another. She knew Vala cared deeply for Daniel, but said she wasn't willing to put her life on hold waiting for him. In Sam's opinion that was exactly what Vala had done, refusing all offers for dates from the interested men she would encounter. Those offers came less and less often for Vala, not because she wasn't still beautiful and fascinating, but because the SGC considered Daniel and Vala an unofficial couple. Sam looked down to hide her smile, Daniel just hadn't figured out yet how much Vala meant to him. She wondered what it would take for him to give in to his feelings for the former space pirate.
Daniel kept sipping his beer as he watched Vala dance. She looked incredible tonight, but then she always did. Whether in her BDUs, or a fancy dress, or leather, or jeans and a pretty blouse, Vala commanded the attention of everyone. As she danced with Marine after Marine, many eyes were drawn to her. Her laughter seemed to sparkle over the music. Daniel narrowed his eyes as he finished his beer and ordered another. He stood up and made his way to the jukebox.
"Oh boy something is going to happen!" Jack chortled. "When the space monkey gets drunk, he gets rowdy. Hey what was that for?" He frowned at his wife, rubbing his arm. "Why did you hit me Sam?" came out in his most pitiful voice. Sam rolled her eyes and realized that Jack was getting drunk too. She knew that whatever happened, Jack would never let Daniel live it down. Jack had been a bit bored since his retirement and return to Colorado Springs and baiting Daniel about Vala seemed to be his new hobby.
Sam watched Daniel by the jukebox. He seemed to be making several selections. As the current song finished, Daniel strode purposefully towards Vala. The Marine she had been dancing with smiled ruefully and thanked Vala for the dance. Vala stood uncertainly on the dance floor watching Daniel approach her.
"I want to dance with you" was all Daniel said as he pulled her close to him. The slow music started and Daniel began swaying and humming.
I can't fight this feeling any longer.
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow.
What started out as friendship,
Has grown stronger.
I only wish I had the strength to let it show.
I tell myself that I can't hold out forever.
I said there is no reason for my fear.
Cause I feel so secure when we're together.
You give my life direction,
You make everything so clear.
Daniel was singing softly in Vala's ear as they moved to the music. Vala could tell this song meant something to him so she tried to focus on the words, which was hard with Daniel pressed so close to her.
And even as I wander,
I'm keeping you in sight.
You're a candle in the window,
On a cold, dark winter's night.
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.
And I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
It's time to bring this ship into the shore,
And throw away the oars, forever.
Vala listened carefully, not daring to believe that this meant Daniel had finally decided to give them a chance. She pressed herself closer to him, feeling his hand slide up and down her back caressingly. She pulled her head back a bit to look into his blue eyes. Daniel stared solemnly back at her as he continued to sing softly.
Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
And if I have to crawl upon the floor,
Come crashing through your door,
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.
Vala put her head back on Daniel's shoulder as they sensuously moved on the dance floor. She hadn't been held this close to him since he found her in warehouse after the Trust kidnapped her. He was holding her with the same level of passion, the same desire to not let go. She felt safe, treasured, and loved.
My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you.
I've been running round in circles in my mind.
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl,
Cause you take me to the places,
That alone I'd never find.
And even as I wander,
I'm keeping you in sight.
You're a candle in the wind,
On a cold, dark winter's night.
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.
Daniel was lost in the music, the words, and the woman in his arms. It all felt so right to him. For the first time since Sha're died, he didn't feel guilty holding another woman in his arms. He was finally ready to trust again.
And I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
It's time to bring this ship into the shore,
And throw away the oars, forever.
He wanted to stay here forever with Vala in his arms. Here on the dance floor there was no conflicts, no worries about losing control, no fear of being hurt.
Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
And if I have to crawl upon the floor,
Come crashing through your door,
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.
As the song ended Daniel did not let go of Vala, the notes of the next song began and she realized it was the same song. As the music spun on and on, Vala realized the same song played several times. She glanced around and discovered they were the only ones dancing; everyone was staring at them, more specifically at Daniel. He was totally absorbed in dancing with Vala, singing to her, caressing her, staring at her with an intensity that made those watching uncomfortable. Everyone except Jack O'Neill of course. Jack stood up and walked across the dance floor. He waited until Daniel noticed him and stopped dancing with Vala.
"Well that killed the party Danny-boy!" Jack stood next to Daniel. "I have asked Teal'c to take you home. Vala, then he can drive you back to the base if that is ok?"
"No it is not okay, Jack!" Daniel frowned at Jack. "You are not taking her away from me." He turned to Vala and gave her a sexy smile. "You are coming home with me aren't you, baby?" His hand gently caressed her back as he waited for her confirmation.
Vala looked at Daniel then at Jack. She cleared her throat. "I think I had better go home with Daniel; he doesn't seem himself, he might need me." Daniel stood there facing Jack, smirking with one arm possessively around Vala's waist, anchoring her to his side. He couldn't seem to stop touching her.
"See Jack, she wants to go home with me! She knows I need her." Daniel smiled down at Vala. "You know I can't live without you don't you, baby?" He leaned down to place his lips on hers, enjoying a long leisurely kiss.
"Danny!!! You are putting on quite the show!" Jack knew that Daniel would be regretting this display once he sobered up. He remembered when Daniel was mourning Sha're, the mumbled embarrassed apologies they would hear the next day for his behavior the night before. Daniel hated being out of control and was usually embarrassed by it.
Daniel ended the kiss and looked into Vala's eyes, "Later ok?" He turned to Jack. "Well, 'mom', since you think it is too late for me to stay up, we'll go quietly." He grabbed Vala's hand and led her off the dance floor, walking by Sgt. Harriman who was busily taking more bets it seemed.
He quickly settled up his bill, insisting on paying for Vala's as well. He grabbed his new beer and drained it. "Ok, Teal'c, you can be our chauffeur." Daniel watched as Vala gathered her purse and wrap, never letting go of her hand. He fished his keys out of his pocket and threw them at Teal'c. "We will need to make a stop or two along the way."
"No bars T! You know he has had enough" Jack warned Teal'c.
"Indeed" Teal'c merely raised an eyebrow at Jack, smirking to himself.
Vala seemed to have gotten her voice back. "No worries Jack, I think this party is going to go private." She winked at Jack and caught Sam's eye. "We will be fine."
"Uh Vala" Sam interjected "Daniel has a tendency to pass out when he gets too drunk." Sam thought Vala needed to be warned. "He also has miserable hangovers the next morning." Vala waved at Sam as she and Daniel followed Teal'c out, with her hand still held firmly by Daniel. Once they reached Daniel's SUV, Daniel helped Vala into the back seat and joined her there. He pulled her into his arms and began kissing her passionately. He couldn't seem to get enough of her lips.
"You wanted to make a stop DanielJackson?" Teal'c inquired as he slid behind the wheel. Glancing into the rearview mirror he saw Daniel reluctantly pull away from Vala. Daniel pulled Vala closer to him and then faced Teal'c.
"We need some wine, maybe some candles, and food." He looked at Vala. "There is nothing to eat at my apartment; we need to stock up for a few days."
Seeing the intensity in Daniel's eyes and understanding what he meant, Vala felt herself blush for the first time in a long time. "Do you have anything for hangovers?" She smiled into Daniel's eyes, willing to follow where ever this led. She knew she might end up hurt, but she trusted Daniel. It would not be malicious on his part if she was. He was not that kind of man.
Teal'c was forgotten by the two in the backseat as he started the car. He stopped at a store and cleared his throat. Waiting for Vala and Daniel to notice the vehicle had stopped appeared fruitless. They were wrapped around each other once again and Teal'c had no choice but to speak to them "DanielJackson, what do you need here?"
Daniel reluctantly stopped kissing Vala and gave his wallet to Teal'c. "Some wine, a few of those candles, aspirin, some food, you know what I like." Neither Daniel nor Val seemed to notice when Teal'c actually left the SUV. Daniel felt that any minute he wasn't touching Vala was a waste of time. He pulled her close again and just stared into her gray eyes. "Baby, you want to be here, going home with me right? I'm not pushing you too hard am I?" He waited for her answer with baited breath.
"Of course I want to be here, it's what I have wanted for quite sometime." Vala smiled at Daniel and then snuggled into his chest. "I love it when you hold me close, I feel as if nothing can ever hurt me again." Daniel nuzzled her hair, placing swift kisses there, his hands sliding up and down her arms and around her waist. He couldn't seem to pull her close enough.
"Nothing will ever hurt you if I can help it. When the Trust kidnapped you, I barely slept or ate for three weeks. Cam, Teal'c, Sam, even General Landry would nag me to sleep or eat. Carolyn simply had meals delivered to my office three times a day by a burly Marine who was to make sure I ate. When I finally found you, there was no way I was going to let you disappear on me again!" Daniel cuddled Vala to his chest, enjoying the feel of her soft skin, the smell of her hair, the sensation of her hands caressing his chest. The barriers for him were finally down, he didn't care what anyone else said or thought, he was crazy over Vala and he wanted her in his life.
"Baby, you know I need you in my life don't you? Everything is so empty without you. I know I have been a class-A jerk at times, but that will change from now on I promise." Daniel tilted Vala's chin up so he could look into her eyes. "This is not the booze talking, Vala, it's me- the real Daniel. Tonight I realized that I can't go on without you in my life. I promise I will feel this way even after I sober up." Daniel stared intently at Vala, almost willing her to trust him.
The next morning---
Daniel groaned again as he squinted against the sunshine. He wondered if his head would actually explode or if he could make it to his bathroom first. Last night was suddenly becoming clearer; the party, Vala's smiles, feeling alone, the music, and finally holding Vala the way he had always wanted to. He remembered dancing with Vala and Teal'c driving them home. Daniel rolled over, he is alone in the bed, although there are signs that someone else slept here. The long dark hair on the pillowcase gives him hope that Vala is still here. Daniel hauled himself to his feet, holding onto the wall until he was steady. He staggered out of his bedroom following the music. He could hear Vala humming to it and he also began to catch smells of breakfast. Leaning against the doorjamb, Daniel couldn't help but smile at the sight before him. Vala, dressed in a pair of his sweats and a t-shirt, humming in his kitchen as she made coffee and filled two plates with food. He liked the idea she was cooking in his kitchen, she slept in his clothes, and she was comfortable enough to make herself at home here. His stomach gave a lurch at the stronger smell of food and Daniel headed for the bathroom.
Vala smiled as she heard the water running in the bathroom. She was a bit nervous, wondering how Daniel would react to her sober, she probably should have ridden back to the mountain with Teal'c last night, but she had really wanted to see where this would lead. "Darling, I have Sal's hangover special for you." She gaily called to him.
"He has a hangover special?" Daniel's voice came down the hallway as he made his way back to the kitchen. "Does it work?" Daniel gave Vala a brief smile, and then closed his eyes against the pain in his head. He maneuvered into a chair at the table and put his head in his hands. Vala nudged his arm and when he glanced at her passed him a glass of orange juice and two aspirin.
"Sal always said that scrambled eggs, toast, juice, and coffee were the perfect cure. No bacon, no sausage, no milk, and you can keep it down. The first course is two aspirin though." Vala smiled at Daniel as she placed his plate in front of him. She then gave him a cup of coffee and sat across from him. As she began to eat, she kept glancing at Daniel. He was still a bit green but seemed to be willing to try Sal's "cure". She waited to see if last night was going to have any nasty repercussions.
As Daniel ate, he realized he was beginning to feel more normal. He knew he needed to deal with what did and didn't happen last night. His memory was still hazy, he wasn't sure if he… if they made love or not. He remembers that was his intention, but once they stopped at the store last night; things seemed to get even hazier. He glanced up at Vala between bites. "Uh about last night…" Vala's head jerks up to face him, she appears tense. "I don't totally remember what happened; do I owe you an apology?"
"No, Daniel." Is Vala's soft answer "I understand it was just the alcohol talking." Her eyes drop back to her plate, she fiddles with her fork, tension obvious in her voice.
"I don't regret anything I said or did last night; I just wanted to make sure that you did not feel coerced." Daniel watched the realization light up Vala's face; saw the smile that had brought sunshine into his heart since he had met her. "I didn't give you much of a choice to not come home with me. If you wish to you can go back to the mountain today."
"Darling" Vala drawled "you could not have forced me away from you last night with undomesticated equines to quote Teal'c. I finally had your undivided amorous attention and was not going to give that up for anything." She grinned at him mischievously at him. "But you falling asleep in your car was not part of my plans. Teal'c practically carried you upstairs and dropped you on the bed."
Daniel blushed "oh I wondered…the last thing I remember is enjoying your luscious lips. I hope I didn't snore too badly." Daniel grinned. "I will try to make up for it this weekend." He leaned closer to Vala "that is if you still want to stay?"
"Of course I want to Daniel. "
Daniel smiled as he finished eating. It was promising to be a great weekend, and he intended to see that it would continue for the rest of their lives.
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