Disclaimer: I don't own X. I wish I did, but I don't. All the cool
characters are owned and created by CLAMP. I'm playing with them without
permission. I'm just having fun here so don't sue!
Just Give Me That Human Touch
'A living thing does not exist without feelings. And. you have them too.'
Karen heard the echo of those words as she looked over her shoulder at the creation sitting on her couch. Nataku had appeared on her doorstep without warning. She still wasn't sure how it had found out where she lived. When she asked it only replied that 'beast' had found out.
She sighed as she dug out some tea, vaguely wondering if there was some rule against having a Dragon of Earth in her home. Not that she would have been able to turn Nataku away. It hadn't come to destroy her or even fight. She doubted most of it's comrades knew where it was. And Nataku had looked at her so confused and almost curious when she opened the door, asking her what those words she had spoken meant. Like a lost child.
Picking up the tray with the porcelain teapot and two teacups Karen walked toward the somewhat confused looking person on her couch. She set the tray down and smiled.
Nataku looked up at her and Karen felt her eyes narrow sadly. Those eyes were so young, confused and lost. Worst of all they didn't even know they were lost.
Taking a seat across from the lost soul Karen began to speak. "Maybe it would be easier for you to understand if I knew what you liked." Nataku cocked it's head to the side and Karen decided to try another approach. "Do you like Fuu." she stopped for a minute. "Do you like your Kamui?"
"What is 'like'?" Nataku asked, just as it had that time. It still didn't understand.
Karen bit her lip in thought. It was had to describe emotions without using other emotions as examples. "Well," she started, "do you know what it is to enjoy something?"
Nataku cocked it's head to the side and looked at her. "Enjoy, it means to take pleasure."
"No," Karen shook her head. "That's just a definition. Those are just words," she said as she stood up from the chair and sat by Nataku on the couch. "Feelings tend to defy words."
"How can these feelings be real if they cannot be explained?" Nataku asked simply.
"They are beyond reason. Sometimes they even destroy reason," Karen attempted to say as she held out her hands. "Let me try to show you," she said, reaching for the collar of Nataku's clothing. "Is this alright?" she asked gently as her fingers touched the clasp at Nataku's throat.
"Why would it not be?" Nataku asked, apparently have no sense of personal privacy.
Karen let out a deep sigh. "Just tell me if there are any difference in the way you. the things you normally experience," she said, taking care not to use to the word feel. Nataku nodded as Karen unclasped the fasten at it's throat then undid a few others before carefully sliding the clothing from it's shoulders. She almost frowned but caught herself. The poor thing was even more doll-like under it's clothing.
"You can feel my touch, right?" she asked as her hands hovered just a little way from it's skin. If Nataku couldn't feel her fingers this was entirely pointless.
"Yes," Nataku answered.
"Good, just tell me if you want me to stop."
Karen touched it's shoulders with her long fingers and slowly glided them down the thin and strangely muscular biceps. Nataku made no move other than to look at her curiously. Her fingers continued downward over the delicate flesh of the lower arm until she reached it's hands. Her hands wrapped around it's, lifting them and slowly bringing them up to her lips. She kissed the inside of each wrist, then turned each hand and placed another kiss on the back before letting the hands back down.
She then placed her hands on the smooth, barren chest, pressing down lightly as she moved her hands upward. She silently marveled at the smooth perfection of it's body. Her hands continued caressing the skin, running her fingers along the collarbones, before moving to touch it's neck.
Nataku flinched.
The movement was almost unnoticeable. But under Karen's trained hands it was like an electric jolt. "Why did you do that?" she asked quietly, her hands moving to rest on Nataku's shoulders as her thumbs rubbed comforting circles near the collarbone.
"I . do not know," Nataku said, his voice on the verge of shaking.
"You didn't want me to touch your neck like that, did you?" Karen said
"I do not know," he repeated.
"Did you dislike it?" Karen asked.
"I do not know."
"Did it make you uncomfortable? Was it something you did not wish to happen?" Karen asked, trying to choose her words carefully. "Was there something different?"
"There was. an unusual sensation," Nataku answered after a moment of silence.
"When this 'unusual sensation' happened, did you want to pull my hands away?" Karen asked, her thumbs still gently rubbing loose circles.
"Yes," Nataku answered.
"Then you didn't like me doing that," Karen explained. "It felt wrong. You disliked it."
"It felt wrong. I disliked it," Nataku repeated and Karen smiled with a nod as she let go of it's shoulders.
"That's what not 'liking' something feels like," Karen explained as she lay her hands in her lap. Nataku looked at her hands, then up at her face as she continued. "When you like something it's the opposite of that sensation. Instead of wanting something to be. away from you, you want it to stay close." She looked up into Nataku's eyes. "Do you understand, even a little bit?"
Nataku looked down at her hands without answering. "Your hands are warm," it said.
"Huh?" Karen looked down at her hands, rubbing her fingers against her palms. "I guess they are."
"Can I feel them again?"
Karen looked up in confusion for a moment and held one of her hands out to Nataku. It took the hand and held it against it's chest. Karen smiled after a moment, pulling her hand away. "Come here," she said, adjusting herself on the couch and pulling Nataku down against her chest.
The pale creation wearily let itself be pulled down against her chest. It lay there stiffly for a minute or two before it's body relaxed, molding to the contours of Karen's as she delicately ran her hands over it's body in comforting circles.
Karen closed her eyes momentarily. It was comforting for her in a strange way. Holding the slight body close to her, feeling the rise and fall of the it's chest, the almost unperceivable beat of it's heart. The feel of a warm body against hers that wanted to be touched, but not in a sexual way.
"Can I touch one?" Nataku asked, pointing at one of the breasts it was nestled between.
Karen blinked her eyes open, then let out a loud laugh as Nataku simply looked up at her. "Sure," she smiled when her laughter finally subsided. "You showed my yours. It's only fair to show you mine. You'll have to sit up a minute though."
Nataku did so obediently as Karen struggled to unzip the back of her dress. She slipped the black straps of her shoulders and let the dress fall down to her waist as she unclasped the bra. "Never liked this one anyway," she mumbled, tossing the bra onto a nearby chair.
"If you do not like it, why do you keep it close?" Nataku asked, it's eyes on the bra.
"Because it is necessary," Karen said, reassured that at least it was listening to her. "But I wouldn't if I didn't have to."
"Do you like me?" Nataku asked, looking back at Karen, "or am I a necessity to have close?" it asked with all the innocence of a little child and none of the accusation.
"Yes, I like you," Karen smiled, closing her eyes for a moment. "In all honesty it would probably be better if I didn't like you. But I do like you. You're like I was." She opened her eyes and Nataku leaned it's head against her shoulder. It's long fingers poking at her breast. Karen had to take a deep breath to keep from laughing at the uneasiness it touched her with. She raised a hand and began stroking Nataku's hair as it touched her breast.
Nataku's hands gradually cupped her breast, squeezing it gently, curiously. It was difficult for Karen to remain still, she felt as if she should be doing something, but this wasn't work and Nataku most defiantly was not a customer.
"They're soft," it finally said, letting the hand drop away from her breast, but still looking at it. "Would Kazuki have had these?" Nataku asked.
"Kazuki?" Karen asked before she remembered. The girl that was the model for Nataku. The one that died. The one who's soul, Karen suspected, was hiding somewhere in Nataku's body. "Oh. Yes, Kazuki. Probably a different size and shape, but, yes, I suppose she would have when she grew up," Karen nodded, gently stroking Nataku's hair.
"Oh," was all Nataku said, putting it's hand against her chest and if Karen hadn't known better she would have sworn it was enjoying the beat of her heart.
Karen bent her head down, pressing her cheek against Nataku's fine hair. She smiled for a moment and kissed the top of it's head. It was like having her own child in her arms.
"Do you know what happens when people die?" Karen asked suddenly, surprising herself at the morbidity of the question.
"They cease to exist," Nataku answered, apparently finding nothing out of the ordinary about the question.
"In my religion it's believe that people go to this place called Heaven," Karen said, still stroking Nataku's hair. "Which is a wonderful peaceful place where everything is good and God lives there." She trailed off for a moment. "It's also believed that people are sometimes reincarnated, sent back to earth to live another life."
Karen's hand stilled in Nataku's hair. It was a strange flight of fancy her mind was taking, but every once in a while it was okay. "If humanity is not destroyed, but we do die," she said, knowing her death was near. She didn't need Hinoto or any dreamgazer to tell her that. "If I am reincarnated, will you come back too. as my child?"
Nataku turned it's head and looked up at Karen's slightly flushed face. "Why?"
Karen raised a hand and pressed it to her warm face. "My mother was not very kind to me as a child, though I know she must have loved me," she explained, "but I always wondered what it would be like to have a child of my own to care for. I know that I would not be as unkind as she was to me, but would the child even need me?" she let out a breath. "I think you need someone to be a mother to you since you're still just a child, even if you do have an adult looking body. But I won't live past this week alive and it would be unfair of me to offer to take care of you when I would only be pulled away so soon. So, I can only offer you the next life." She looked down at Nataku's clear eyes. "So, if we are reincarnated, would you be my child?"
Nataku turned it's eyes away and let itself relax against her once more. "Yes," it answered, then almost out of Karen's hearing, "I think I'd. like that."
"Then I promise to be a good mommy and help you will all these feelings if God grants this."
---
Nataku watched sadly as the cross-shaped kekkai fell. It's own opponent, the wind-caster, screamed Karen's name and bolted toward the collapsing buildings. Nataku let him go. It felt a strange sensation running though it's body, most probably one of those 'feelings' Karen had tried to explain. Nataku did not wish this feeling to stay. It wanted to push it away. After a moment Nataku decided that it disliked the feeling.
'A living thing does not exist without feelings. And. you have them too.' The words echoed in Nataku's mind as the disliked feeling grew worse.
"Remember, you promised," was all it said as a strange liquid ran from it's eyes.
Just Give Me That Human Touch
'A living thing does not exist without feelings. And. you have them too.'
Karen heard the echo of those words as she looked over her shoulder at the creation sitting on her couch. Nataku had appeared on her doorstep without warning. She still wasn't sure how it had found out where she lived. When she asked it only replied that 'beast' had found out.
She sighed as she dug out some tea, vaguely wondering if there was some rule against having a Dragon of Earth in her home. Not that she would have been able to turn Nataku away. It hadn't come to destroy her or even fight. She doubted most of it's comrades knew where it was. And Nataku had looked at her so confused and almost curious when she opened the door, asking her what those words she had spoken meant. Like a lost child.
Picking up the tray with the porcelain teapot and two teacups Karen walked toward the somewhat confused looking person on her couch. She set the tray down and smiled.
Nataku looked up at her and Karen felt her eyes narrow sadly. Those eyes were so young, confused and lost. Worst of all they didn't even know they were lost.
Taking a seat across from the lost soul Karen began to speak. "Maybe it would be easier for you to understand if I knew what you liked." Nataku cocked it's head to the side and Karen decided to try another approach. "Do you like Fuu." she stopped for a minute. "Do you like your Kamui?"
"What is 'like'?" Nataku asked, just as it had that time. It still didn't understand.
Karen bit her lip in thought. It was had to describe emotions without using other emotions as examples. "Well," she started, "do you know what it is to enjoy something?"
Nataku cocked it's head to the side and looked at her. "Enjoy, it means to take pleasure."
"No," Karen shook her head. "That's just a definition. Those are just words," she said as she stood up from the chair and sat by Nataku on the couch. "Feelings tend to defy words."
"How can these feelings be real if they cannot be explained?" Nataku asked simply.
"They are beyond reason. Sometimes they even destroy reason," Karen attempted to say as she held out her hands. "Let me try to show you," she said, reaching for the collar of Nataku's clothing. "Is this alright?" she asked gently as her fingers touched the clasp at Nataku's throat.
"Why would it not be?" Nataku asked, apparently have no sense of personal privacy.
Karen let out a deep sigh. "Just tell me if there are any difference in the way you. the things you normally experience," she said, taking care not to use to the word feel. Nataku nodded as Karen unclasped the fasten at it's throat then undid a few others before carefully sliding the clothing from it's shoulders. She almost frowned but caught herself. The poor thing was even more doll-like under it's clothing.
"You can feel my touch, right?" she asked as her hands hovered just a little way from it's skin. If Nataku couldn't feel her fingers this was entirely pointless.
"Yes," Nataku answered.
"Good, just tell me if you want me to stop."
Karen touched it's shoulders with her long fingers and slowly glided them down the thin and strangely muscular biceps. Nataku made no move other than to look at her curiously. Her fingers continued downward over the delicate flesh of the lower arm until she reached it's hands. Her hands wrapped around it's, lifting them and slowly bringing them up to her lips. She kissed the inside of each wrist, then turned each hand and placed another kiss on the back before letting the hands back down.
She then placed her hands on the smooth, barren chest, pressing down lightly as she moved her hands upward. She silently marveled at the smooth perfection of it's body. Her hands continued caressing the skin, running her fingers along the collarbones, before moving to touch it's neck.
Nataku flinched.
The movement was almost unnoticeable. But under Karen's trained hands it was like an electric jolt. "Why did you do that?" she asked quietly, her hands moving to rest on Nataku's shoulders as her thumbs rubbed comforting circles near the collarbone.
"I . do not know," Nataku said, his voice on the verge of shaking.
"You didn't want me to touch your neck like that, did you?" Karen said
"I do not know," he repeated.
"Did you dislike it?" Karen asked.
"I do not know."
"Did it make you uncomfortable? Was it something you did not wish to happen?" Karen asked, trying to choose her words carefully. "Was there something different?"
"There was. an unusual sensation," Nataku answered after a moment of silence.
"When this 'unusual sensation' happened, did you want to pull my hands away?" Karen asked, her thumbs still gently rubbing loose circles.
"Yes," Nataku answered.
"Then you didn't like me doing that," Karen explained. "It felt wrong. You disliked it."
"It felt wrong. I disliked it," Nataku repeated and Karen smiled with a nod as she let go of it's shoulders.
"That's what not 'liking' something feels like," Karen explained as she lay her hands in her lap. Nataku looked at her hands, then up at her face as she continued. "When you like something it's the opposite of that sensation. Instead of wanting something to be. away from you, you want it to stay close." She looked up into Nataku's eyes. "Do you understand, even a little bit?"
Nataku looked down at her hands without answering. "Your hands are warm," it said.
"Huh?" Karen looked down at her hands, rubbing her fingers against her palms. "I guess they are."
"Can I feel them again?"
Karen looked up in confusion for a moment and held one of her hands out to Nataku. It took the hand and held it against it's chest. Karen smiled after a moment, pulling her hand away. "Come here," she said, adjusting herself on the couch and pulling Nataku down against her chest.
The pale creation wearily let itself be pulled down against her chest. It lay there stiffly for a minute or two before it's body relaxed, molding to the contours of Karen's as she delicately ran her hands over it's body in comforting circles.
Karen closed her eyes momentarily. It was comforting for her in a strange way. Holding the slight body close to her, feeling the rise and fall of the it's chest, the almost unperceivable beat of it's heart. The feel of a warm body against hers that wanted to be touched, but not in a sexual way.
"Can I touch one?" Nataku asked, pointing at one of the breasts it was nestled between.
Karen blinked her eyes open, then let out a loud laugh as Nataku simply looked up at her. "Sure," she smiled when her laughter finally subsided. "You showed my yours. It's only fair to show you mine. You'll have to sit up a minute though."
Nataku did so obediently as Karen struggled to unzip the back of her dress. She slipped the black straps of her shoulders and let the dress fall down to her waist as she unclasped the bra. "Never liked this one anyway," she mumbled, tossing the bra onto a nearby chair.
"If you do not like it, why do you keep it close?" Nataku asked, it's eyes on the bra.
"Because it is necessary," Karen said, reassured that at least it was listening to her. "But I wouldn't if I didn't have to."
"Do you like me?" Nataku asked, looking back at Karen, "or am I a necessity to have close?" it asked with all the innocence of a little child and none of the accusation.
"Yes, I like you," Karen smiled, closing her eyes for a moment. "In all honesty it would probably be better if I didn't like you. But I do like you. You're like I was." She opened her eyes and Nataku leaned it's head against her shoulder. It's long fingers poking at her breast. Karen had to take a deep breath to keep from laughing at the uneasiness it touched her with. She raised a hand and began stroking Nataku's hair as it touched her breast.
Nataku's hands gradually cupped her breast, squeezing it gently, curiously. It was difficult for Karen to remain still, she felt as if she should be doing something, but this wasn't work and Nataku most defiantly was not a customer.
"They're soft," it finally said, letting the hand drop away from her breast, but still looking at it. "Would Kazuki have had these?" Nataku asked.
"Kazuki?" Karen asked before she remembered. The girl that was the model for Nataku. The one that died. The one who's soul, Karen suspected, was hiding somewhere in Nataku's body. "Oh. Yes, Kazuki. Probably a different size and shape, but, yes, I suppose she would have when she grew up," Karen nodded, gently stroking Nataku's hair.
"Oh," was all Nataku said, putting it's hand against her chest and if Karen hadn't known better she would have sworn it was enjoying the beat of her heart.
Karen bent her head down, pressing her cheek against Nataku's fine hair. She smiled for a moment and kissed the top of it's head. It was like having her own child in her arms.
"Do you know what happens when people die?" Karen asked suddenly, surprising herself at the morbidity of the question.
"They cease to exist," Nataku answered, apparently finding nothing out of the ordinary about the question.
"In my religion it's believe that people go to this place called Heaven," Karen said, still stroking Nataku's hair. "Which is a wonderful peaceful place where everything is good and God lives there." She trailed off for a moment. "It's also believed that people are sometimes reincarnated, sent back to earth to live another life."
Karen's hand stilled in Nataku's hair. It was a strange flight of fancy her mind was taking, but every once in a while it was okay. "If humanity is not destroyed, but we do die," she said, knowing her death was near. She didn't need Hinoto or any dreamgazer to tell her that. "If I am reincarnated, will you come back too. as my child?"
Nataku turned it's head and looked up at Karen's slightly flushed face. "Why?"
Karen raised a hand and pressed it to her warm face. "My mother was not very kind to me as a child, though I know she must have loved me," she explained, "but I always wondered what it would be like to have a child of my own to care for. I know that I would not be as unkind as she was to me, but would the child even need me?" she let out a breath. "I think you need someone to be a mother to you since you're still just a child, even if you do have an adult looking body. But I won't live past this week alive and it would be unfair of me to offer to take care of you when I would only be pulled away so soon. So, I can only offer you the next life." She looked down at Nataku's clear eyes. "So, if we are reincarnated, would you be my child?"
Nataku turned it's eyes away and let itself relax against her once more. "Yes," it answered, then almost out of Karen's hearing, "I think I'd. like that."
"Then I promise to be a good mommy and help you will all these feelings if God grants this."
---
Nataku watched sadly as the cross-shaped kekkai fell. It's own opponent, the wind-caster, screamed Karen's name and bolted toward the collapsing buildings. Nataku let him go. It felt a strange sensation running though it's body, most probably one of those 'feelings' Karen had tried to explain. Nataku did not wish this feeling to stay. It wanted to push it away. After a moment Nataku decided that it disliked the feeling.
'A living thing does not exist without feelings. And. you have them too.' The words echoed in Nataku's mind as the disliked feeling grew worse.
"Remember, you promised," was all it said as a strange liquid ran from it's eyes.