Hey, pay attention!
Evangelion is owned by people other than me. So is everything else in this fic except for maybe the two sentences I didn't rip off of a movie/TV show/whatever. And the name Kevin belongs to my little buddy.
Don't hate me because this story is beautiful; hate me because it sucks because it's my first attempt. And yes, there are spoilers to the plot line of the original show.
Ok, ( ) means the characters emotion at the time or whatever I deem important to make known to you, means thinking, [ ] means actions the characters do while speaking, and * * is something I, the author, threw in there, none of which will make sense.
I'd also like to point out that this story takes place after the end of the series but everyone's still alive and uninjured, so HA!
READY FIGHT!
Shinji: Mmmmmm, Asuka, right there.
*Score!*
Asuka stood over Shinji as he slept, looking at him in disgust. He was moaning HER name! What a perv! She walked over to his desk and picked up a large book, which she proceeded to drop right on Shinji's crotch. Needless to say, he woke the hell up.
Asuka: Wake up you damned hentai! We're going to be late for school!
Aaaaand then she kicked him in the face. Not his lucky day.
Shinji: (in pain obviously) Ow! Sweet Jeebus was that really necessary!?
Asuka: Only when you moan my name in your sleep.
Shinji realizes what he was earlier dreaming about and blushes more than one would think possible.
Shinji: Look, just go away for a minute, I have to get dressed.
Asuka makes a "humph" sound and leaves.
****** *hey look, a time machine, forward Mr. Spock!*
Shinji walks into the kitchen and sees Misato, Asuka, and Pen-Pen eating. He sits down in the empty seat and a extremely loud farting sound explodes from his chair. Misato and Asuka are trying not to laugh so hard tears are forming. Shinji picks up a large pink cushion from under his butt and frowns.
*yeah that was lame, but it gets better later so HOLD ON DAMN YOU!*
Shinji: (sarcastic) Cute, real cute.
Asuka: Ummm, we get off of school today right Misato, for work right?
Misato: (drunk) Yeah, huh? Oh, sure, right, whatever.
Shinji: (surprised) What!? When do we have to be at NERV?
Asuka: (calmly) Three hours.
Shinji (getting mad) AND YOU DROPPED A BIG ASS BOOK ON MY CROTCH TO WAKE ME UP!?
Misato tries to stifle a laugh.
Asuka: (laughing) Yeah! Bwahahahaha!
****** *meanwhile, at NERV, bum bum bum!*
Gendo: (with an evil smile under his hands which are in the normal position) So Kozo, what's my evil plan to screw with the pilots to day?
Fuyutsuki: You're introducing them to a new pilot from America.
Gendo: Excellen. what the hell?
He breaks his normal position and turns to stare at Fuyutsuki.
Gendo: That doesn't sound so evil. In fact that sounds almost like being nice to them, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?
Fuyutsuki: Well sir, the author wanted to put himself in the story.
Gendo: Oh, ok. Wait a minute, the author? What the hell are you talking about?
Fuyutsuki: Ummm, nothing, nothing at all.
****** *hey look, it's me, I'm not the pilot though, I'd rather not think of myself 4 years ago, because pilots have to be 14 and all. yeah*
In a small jet, an 18 and a 14 year old are sitting in three of the eight seats available, the older has his legs spread out onto the seat next to him and was staring out the window. The 18 year old is well built and has light brown hair that makes it look like he just woke up, grey eyes with a hint of blue, which where covered with oval shaped sunglasses at the moment. It looked like he hadn't shaved the last couple days. He was wearing jeans with a loose black T-shirt that had white letters spelling out "Security."
The 14 year old is kind of skinny and doesn't have too much muscle on him. He is peacefully asleep with his short dirty blond hair spiked straight up rustling in the air conditioner's breeze. Likewise his red "Transformers" shirt was rustling in the fake wind. He was wearing loose jean shorts and dark blue sneakers. *Kevin, if you read this, don't tell me that doesn't look like you*
Matt: Hey look Kevin, there's where Australia used to be!
Kevin, the pilot, wakes up on a small plane apparently where Australia used to be.
Kevin: Australia? Weren't we flying from New York to Tokyo 3? What the Hang?
Matt: Hey, you're right. Oh well, go back to sleep.
Kevin: But we're in the wrong hemisphere all together!
Matt sneaks up behind him with chloroform and a rag and puts him back to sleep.
Matt: Showed him!
****** *back at the NERV airport, the three pilots are there with Misato and Ritsuko*
Misato: Took them damn long enough.
Ritsuko: The pilot's guardian said the pilot got sidetracked.
Misato: How sidetracked?
Ritsuko: They got to see where Australia used to be.
*does it seem like I don't like Australia, hmmm*
Misato: (yelling) AUSTRALIA!? That's not sidetracked, that's fuggin lost!
Ritsuko: Yeah, I know.
The plane lands and proceeds to blow up. a lot of dust.
Asuka: 'Bout damn time.
The plane, amazingly enough, stops right in front of the group of people and the new pilot and his guardian step out. Of course the guardian is carrying all the damned luggage.
Matt: Dammit Brian, go introduce yourself to your public.
Kevin: (turns around) Public?
Matt: (struggling under luggage) The other pilots dumbass.
Kevin: (turning back around) Oh.
Kevin walks down the stairs from the jet. He introduce himself to everyone until he gets to Rei, to whom he stares at for a minute and then melts into primordial goo, or LCL, or whatever you want to call it. Matt walks over and mops him up with a rag and squeezes it out, amazingly forming Kevin again. Matt then walks off screen again.
Kevin: So, you must be Rei.
Rei: (emotionlessly) Yes.
Kevin: Hey, this may sound weird, but bear with me now, are you from Venus?
Rei: (puzzled but not showing it) Ummm, no, why?
Kevin: (crooked smile on his face) 'Cause baby your ass is outta this world!
Everyone but Kevin and Rei immediately fall on their respective faces. Then, out of nowhere, a heavy piece of luggage sails through the air and nails Kevin in the back of the head. He then joins everyone on his face.
Matt: Damn kids.
****** *roar! fear me because I say roar!*
Gendo: (lifting an eyebrow) So you're saying that the.
He turns around and quietly confers with Kozo.
Gendo: Damn it, which one are we up to now?
Fuyutsuki: The sixth sir.
Gendo: (turning around again) .6th child has the hots for Rei?
Misato: Apparently.
Gendo: Perfect.
Fuyutsuki: (confused) Perfect? This wasn't in the plan at alOUCH!
Gendo had kicked his second in command in the shin to shut him up. Misato just stared at them, and was dismissed.
****** *back at the apartment*
Asuka: (coming inside) Hey Baka! Somebody's moving in two doors down from us!
Shinji: (coming around the corner) Who?
Asuka: (lying down on the couch) I don't know, I didn't hang around long enough to find out.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door.
Shinji: I'll get it.
Shinji opens the door and Kevin sticks his head in looking around.
Kevin: So does Rei live here with you guys?
Shinji: (a tad surprised) No, she lives by herself. Why are you here?
Kevin: Me and Matt are moving in two doors down from you guys, Misato suggested it to us, so don't blame me.
Asuka suddenly sprays the soda (oddly labeled SODA) she was sipping out here nose.
Asuka: (screaming) WHAAAAAAT!
Shinji: (looking over his shoulder) Look, I don't see what the big deal is, it's not like they're moving in with us.
Asuka: STILL!
She storms off into her room and locks the door behind her.
Shinji: So you need help unpacking or anything?
Kevin: (eyes wide) Uhhh, yeah, yeah sure.
They both leave and load heavy crap into the new pilot's apartment.
END FOR NOW
Hey, looky there, my first fic, done, or a chapter at least. If you read it, review it and e-mail me damn it. I'm bored.
Evangelion is owned by people other than me. So is everything else in this fic except for maybe the two sentences I didn't rip off of a movie/TV show/whatever. And the name Kevin belongs to my little buddy.
Don't hate me because this story is beautiful; hate me because it sucks because it's my first attempt. And yes, there are spoilers to the plot line of the original show.
Ok, ( ) means the characters emotion at the time or whatever I deem important to make known to you, means thinking, [ ] means actions the characters do while speaking, and * * is something I, the author, threw in there, none of which will make sense.
I'd also like to point out that this story takes place after the end of the series but everyone's still alive and uninjured, so HA!
READY FIGHT!
Shinji: Mmmmmm, Asuka, right there.
*Score!*
Asuka stood over Shinji as he slept, looking at him in disgust. He was moaning HER name! What a perv! She walked over to his desk and picked up a large book, which she proceeded to drop right on Shinji's crotch. Needless to say, he woke the hell up.
Asuka: Wake up you damned hentai! We're going to be late for school!
Aaaaand then she kicked him in the face. Not his lucky day.
Shinji: (in pain obviously) Ow! Sweet Jeebus was that really necessary!?
Asuka: Only when you moan my name in your sleep.
Shinji realizes what he was earlier dreaming about and blushes more than one would think possible.
Shinji: Look, just go away for a minute, I have to get dressed.
Asuka makes a "humph" sound and leaves.
****** *hey look, a time machine, forward Mr. Spock!*
Shinji walks into the kitchen and sees Misato, Asuka, and Pen-Pen eating. He sits down in the empty seat and a extremely loud farting sound explodes from his chair. Misato and Asuka are trying not to laugh so hard tears are forming. Shinji picks up a large pink cushion from under his butt and frowns.
*yeah that was lame, but it gets better later so HOLD ON DAMN YOU!*
Shinji: (sarcastic) Cute, real cute.
Asuka: Ummm, we get off of school today right Misato, for work right?
Misato: (drunk) Yeah, huh? Oh, sure, right, whatever.
Shinji: (surprised) What!? When do we have to be at NERV?
Asuka: (calmly) Three hours.
Shinji (getting mad) AND YOU DROPPED A BIG ASS BOOK ON MY CROTCH TO WAKE ME UP!?
Misato tries to stifle a laugh.
Asuka: (laughing) Yeah! Bwahahahaha!
****** *meanwhile, at NERV, bum bum bum!*
Gendo: (with an evil smile under his hands which are in the normal position) So Kozo, what's my evil plan to screw with the pilots to day?
Fuyutsuki: You're introducing them to a new pilot from America.
Gendo: Excellen. what the hell?
He breaks his normal position and turns to stare at Fuyutsuki.
Gendo: That doesn't sound so evil. In fact that sounds almost like being nice to them, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?
Fuyutsuki: Well sir, the author wanted to put himself in the story.
Gendo: Oh, ok. Wait a minute, the author? What the hell are you talking about?
Fuyutsuki: Ummm, nothing, nothing at all.
****** *hey look, it's me, I'm not the pilot though, I'd rather not think of myself 4 years ago, because pilots have to be 14 and all. yeah*
In a small jet, an 18 and a 14 year old are sitting in three of the eight seats available, the older has his legs spread out onto the seat next to him and was staring out the window. The 18 year old is well built and has light brown hair that makes it look like he just woke up, grey eyes with a hint of blue, which where covered with oval shaped sunglasses at the moment. It looked like he hadn't shaved the last couple days. He was wearing jeans with a loose black T-shirt that had white letters spelling out "Security."
The 14 year old is kind of skinny and doesn't have too much muscle on him. He is peacefully asleep with his short dirty blond hair spiked straight up rustling in the air conditioner's breeze. Likewise his red "Transformers" shirt was rustling in the fake wind. He was wearing loose jean shorts and dark blue sneakers. *Kevin, if you read this, don't tell me that doesn't look like you*
Matt: Hey look Kevin, there's where Australia used to be!
Kevin, the pilot, wakes up on a small plane apparently where Australia used to be.
Kevin: Australia? Weren't we flying from New York to Tokyo 3? What the Hang?
Matt: Hey, you're right. Oh well, go back to sleep.
Kevin: But we're in the wrong hemisphere all together!
Matt sneaks up behind him with chloroform and a rag and puts him back to sleep.
Matt: Showed him!
****** *back at the NERV airport, the three pilots are there with Misato and Ritsuko*
Misato: Took them damn long enough.
Ritsuko: The pilot's guardian said the pilot got sidetracked.
Misato: How sidetracked?
Ritsuko: They got to see where Australia used to be.
*does it seem like I don't like Australia, hmmm*
Misato: (yelling) AUSTRALIA!? That's not sidetracked, that's fuggin lost!
Ritsuko: Yeah, I know.
The plane lands and proceeds to blow up. a lot of dust.
Asuka: 'Bout damn time.
The plane, amazingly enough, stops right in front of the group of people and the new pilot and his guardian step out. Of course the guardian is carrying all the damned luggage.
Matt: Dammit Brian, go introduce yourself to your public.
Kevin: (turns around) Public?
Matt: (struggling under luggage) The other pilots dumbass.
Kevin: (turning back around) Oh.
Kevin walks down the stairs from the jet. He introduce himself to everyone until he gets to Rei, to whom he stares at for a minute and then melts into primordial goo, or LCL, or whatever you want to call it. Matt walks over and mops him up with a rag and squeezes it out, amazingly forming Kevin again. Matt then walks off screen again.
Kevin: So, you must be Rei.
Rei: (emotionlessly) Yes.
Kevin: Hey, this may sound weird, but bear with me now, are you from Venus?
Rei: (puzzled but not showing it) Ummm, no, why?
Kevin: (crooked smile on his face) 'Cause baby your ass is outta this world!
Everyone but Kevin and Rei immediately fall on their respective faces. Then, out of nowhere, a heavy piece of luggage sails through the air and nails Kevin in the back of the head. He then joins everyone on his face.
Matt: Damn kids.
****** *roar! fear me because I say roar!*
Gendo: (lifting an eyebrow) So you're saying that the.
He turns around and quietly confers with Kozo.
Gendo: Damn it, which one are we up to now?
Fuyutsuki: The sixth sir.
Gendo: (turning around again) .6th child has the hots for Rei?
Misato: Apparently.
Gendo: Perfect.
Fuyutsuki: (confused) Perfect? This wasn't in the plan at alOUCH!
Gendo had kicked his second in command in the shin to shut him up. Misato just stared at them, and was dismissed.
****** *back at the apartment*
Asuka: (coming inside) Hey Baka! Somebody's moving in two doors down from us!
Shinji: (coming around the corner) Who?
Asuka: (lying down on the couch) I don't know, I didn't hang around long enough to find out.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door.
Shinji: I'll get it.
Shinji opens the door and Kevin sticks his head in looking around.
Kevin: So does Rei live here with you guys?
Shinji: (a tad surprised) No, she lives by herself. Why are you here?
Kevin: Me and Matt are moving in two doors down from you guys, Misato suggested it to us, so don't blame me.
Asuka suddenly sprays the soda (oddly labeled SODA) she was sipping out here nose.
Asuka: (screaming) WHAAAAAAT!
Shinji: (looking over his shoulder) Look, I don't see what the big deal is, it's not like they're moving in with us.
Asuka: STILL!
She storms off into her room and locks the door behind her.
Shinji: So you need help unpacking or anything?
Kevin: (eyes wide) Uhhh, yeah, yeah sure.
They both leave and load heavy crap into the new pilot's apartment.
END FOR NOW
Hey, looky there, my first fic, done, or a chapter at least. If you read it, review it and e-mail me damn it. I'm bored.