THEIF!
by an awesome blossom
Even in the sleepy village of Ordon can the most heinous of crimes occur...
I dedicate this to Chaotic Serenity, for without her unintentional challenge in a discussion on the zeldalovers Livejournal community, I would have never gotten the inspiration. The title is a reference to what the inhabitants of Koholint call Link when he steals from the Shop in Link's Awakening...
The Legend of Zelda is the property of the good folks at Nintendo.
Link was a good, moral man. He knew his rights from his wrongs, and yet he had this strange desire in him that just couldn't be smothered. He never thought himself a thief by any stretch, nor ever wanted anyone else to think so, but one night while the moon waned he felt such a powerful urge...
And, well, he took it from her and made it his.
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"Daddy, stop going through your old sumo things and help me now!"
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After the deed was done, he went home, feeling partially ashamed at himself as he took off the mask he had worn to evade recognition while committing his crime. Was that really him acting when he stole something so precious from Ilia? He couldn't believe it... He was Hell-bound, he knew it. Such a thing would never be forgiven in the eyes of the great Goddesses. And yet, thinking about what he had done piqued his arousal like nothing else in the whole of seventeen years had.
Never before had he been so turned on...
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"Good Goddesses, Ilia! What the hell's wrong with you?"
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He couldn't believe he was doing this. If someone had told him earlier that overnight he would commit a heinous crime and then go home and jerk off to it...well he would never be able to believe such a thing. And yet he was doing it. He was touching himself, pumping his cock, while thinking of the thing he stole. He was an absolutely depraved person - no, thing! - that no longer deserved the privilege of life...
And yet such a thing spurred him on until he found himself staring in lust at Ilia's new, cum-soaked shoes.
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"Dad, this is serious. I just bought those shoes tonight, and Epona ate my old pair!"
"Buy new ones, then! This pair'll turn up eventually..."
"But daddy, I spent all I had on those shoes!"
"You can go barefoot, then! It'll teach you to not spend your savings on shoes of all ridiculous things..."
That night, Ilia cried herself to sleep and dreamed of a stern Princess whisking her away to the land of shoes.
...
Yes I did just turn this into Zelda/Ilia to fit into my zelda100 claim...