"Ron, Hermione – how far have you gone?"
"What do you mean 'how far', Harry?"
"Um, how far...What have you done besides snogging?"
"Harry, I truly think this does not concern you-"
"We screwed."
"Ronald! Do not use that language, talking about-"
"Fine, we shagged."
"We made sweet gentle love."
"Why do you ask, Harry? Simply curious? Does it turn you on?"
"Um, actually, Ginny and I-"
"DON'T mention it! Please, don't say it!"
"I need advice."
"This is killing me!"
"Ron, would you rather have Harry knock your sister up than let him know how to protect themselves?"
"Actually, I know how to-"
"Harry, we don't do it the muggle way."
"You don't have sex the muggle way?"
"NO! That's not what I-"
"Really? Then how do you do it, Hermione?"
"No, I mean – we don't protect ourselves the muggle way."
"Then how?"
"Um, excuse me."
"What is it, Ronald?"
"Shouldn't this be between boys?"
"Ronald-"
"Please don't call me Ronald, especially not while talking about sex."
"Alright, Ron, I am Harry's friend as well – I am practically a boy for-"
"HAHA! You were certainly no boy last night, were you...?"
"Ron! You know what I mean. Harry and I are just as close as you and Harry are."
"But I really don't feel comfortable with you talking to Harry about sex."
"And you feel comfortable talking to Harry about sex with your own sister?"
"Merlin! Please don't!"
"Hello?"
"Harry, please don't interfere. This is between me and my boyfriend."
"But-"
"Ron, are you saying that I'm not allowed to talk about whatever I want with Harry?"
"No, just not..."
"So simply because the two of you are boys, you will speak about your sex lives but I will have NO ONE to talk about it with?"
"Maybe not."
"I will from now on always be pushed to the side, just because I'm a girl?"
"Her-"
"So you are saying that females are not worth as much as males?"
"'Mione, you know that's not what-"
"You're basically saying that you own me, then?"
"Not-"
"Oh, alright then! I get it! Well, you know the solution then, don't you?"
"What?"
"Next time, I'm on top, and don't argue!"
Fin.