WILL THE REAL STOCKING PLEASE STAND UP?
Whilst having their usual sushi dinner, the Deamon sisters had a conversation about how to attack Daten City and the Anarchies, like they usually do.
Everything had been done; shit ghosts, sperm ghosts, vomit ghosts, porn star ghosts, peadophille ghosts, pollitician ghosts rigging elections, and so on.
The Deamon sisters were running out of ideas and the spark was missing.
"How about we frame the dreaded Anarchies for murder?" asked Kneesocks.
"It's been done, sister," answered Scanty. "Besides, I am SICK of movies where the main characters gets framed for murder, the authorities are after him or her, and he or she has to prove he or she didn't do it! Like that overrated 'Captain America: The Winter Soldier'."
"And the big 'twist' in that movie," added Kneesocks with sarcasm. "Oh, didn't see that one coming!"
"Although framing the sisters isn't a bad idea," said Scanty.
Kneesocks began to laugh.
"What's so funny?" asked Scanty.
"I was thinking," began Kneesocks. "Why don't we kidnap one of the Anarchies, and take her place."
Scanty looked at her with a smile.
"My darling sister, you are a genius," she said to Kneesocks.
"Stop it, sister, you're making me blush," replied Kneesocks as her face turned redder than before.
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The next morning, Stocking went to get her usual breakfast ice cream. She left the shop with a massive 3 foot long ice cream with all different flavors; chocolate, mint, banana, bubblegum, strawberry, raspberry, honeycomb and butterscotch.
As she was about to eat it, she saw a trail of small chocolates lying on the ground. She recognized the wrapping.
CADBURY'S!
Her favourite! She couldn't get any due to her being banned from the British sweet shop. She had to get rid of the massive ice cream though. So she saw a 6 year old boy and a 6 year old girl sitting on the pavement. She gave it to them.
"Thanks, miss!" they both said.
Stocking thought they were so sweet.
That was until they started fighting over the ice cream.
"Give it to me, you fucking cunt!" barked the boy.
"Go lick a dog's ballsack, faggot!" barked the girl.
Stocking began to collect the trail of chocolates that lead into the alleyway. As she reached to the end of the trail of 50 chocolates, she was now caught in a giant cage. Scanty and Kneesocks stepped out. Kneesocks was dressed in a black dress and stockings similar to our goth heroine's.
"Revenge is very sweet, isn't it, Anarchy?" cackled Scanty.
"You fucking whores of Satan," said Stocking.
"You're too kind," replied Scanty.
Just then, Kneesocks took out a syringe and stuck the needle into Stocking's arm. She took a sample of her blood then pulled the needle out. Kneesocks also had a small bottle of purple liquid. She squirted Stocking's blood into the liquid and then mixed it up. Kneesocks then drank the liquid and her body began to transform. Her skin turned white and her hair turned violet. The horn on her forehead also shrunk. She now looked exactly like Stocking!
The real Stocking looked at her double.
"Like looking into a mirror, eh, Anarchy?" asked the Kneesocks-Stocking, who sounded exactly like her. "You see, your dimwitted sister won't suspect a thing. And I will kill her in her sleep tonight."
"No!" said the defeated real Stocking.
"Good luck, sister," Scanty told the Kneesocks-Stocking.
"Au Revoir," replied Kneesocks as she walked away.
Stocking was in despair. Scanty then looked at her.
"And does Corset have plans for you," she said to the goth with an evil grin.
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Panty was inside See-Through drinking her cup of coffee. She was waiting for Stocking. The Kneesocks-Stocking then arrived and got into the car.
"Dude where the fuck have you been?" asked Panty.
"Sorry, I was eating that huge ice cream, sister," replied the Kneesocks-Stocking.
Panty looked at her suspiciously. Then she started the car.
"Well, you shouldn't have eaten all that ice cream, you dumb slut," the blonde said to her. "You have that challenge to do."
"What challenge?" asked Kneesocks.
"The fuckin' five pounds of Gummi Bears Challenge," answered Panty.
Kneesocks gulped. She doesn't like sweets and avoids all sugary foods to keep a perfect slim body. But she had to do it to stay in character as Stocking, or else she'll blow her cover.
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Panty and the Kneesocks- Stocking arrived at their sitting room where Panty had the camera set up on a tripod. The camera was pointing at a table and chair.
"Why do you have that camera here?" asked Kneesocks.
Panty looked at her dumbfounded.
"Because you wanted to put this on YouTube, you dumb cunt," she answered her fake sister. "Your idea."
Kneesocks was in even deeper shit. Not only did she have to eat five pounds of sweets, but she was doing this in front of millions of viewers.
"Are you chickening out, chickenshit?" Panty asked her.
"No….. No….. I'll do it," lied Kneesocks.
Just then Chuck arrived and looked at the Kneesocks-Stocking suspiciously.
"Hello…..," greeted Kneesocks.
But Chuck just growled at her.
"The fuck is wrong with you, you little green shit?" Panty asked Chuck. "I know, it's because he wants those Gummi bears. Tough shit, Chucky."
Panty opened the door and threw Chuck out. She then closed it so that he doesn't get back in the room.
Kneesocks sat on the chair behind the desk, and faced the camera. Panty turned it on and started filming. Kneesocks just sat there and looked at the massive bowl of 5 pounds of Gummi bears.
"Well, say something, Alicia Silverstone," Panty snapped at her fake sister.
"Oh, erm…" began Kneesocks awkwardly. "I'm Stocking… and I am going to eat this entire bowl that contains five pounds of….Gummi bears…."
Kneesocks scooped up a handful of the sweets and put them in her mouth. Then she began to chew slowly. She liked the taste and decided to eat more and more and more and more.
"This will take forever," Kneesocks said to Panty. "I've been eating these for 45 minutes and the bowl is still half full."
"I'll speed up the footage," replied Panty, who was off camera watching TV.
Another staggering hour and 45 minutes later, Kneesocks was finished. She lifted up the empty bowl with victory.
"Sister, I did it," she said with delight. "I ate all the sweets."
Then Panty began to laugh.
"What's so funny?" asked Kneesocks.
Panty showed Kneesocks the empty bag of Gummi Bears.
To Kneesocks' horror it said "SUGARFREE GUMMI BEARS" and "WARNING: MAY PRODUCE A LAXATIVE EFFECT".
Panty looked at the camera and said "And this dumb cunt will be spending hours on the toilet. Bye!"
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Later that evening, Poor Kneesocks had to suffer.
She was sitting on the toilet taking a massive dump. The biggest dump of her life. And the worst part was that it never seemed to end! Even after a very good 30 minutes on the bowl, she got off and cleaned herself.
And then 2 minutes later, she had to crap again.
She was in agony!
Wonder how the real Stocking is being tortured? She thought to herself.
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In Corset's office, the real Stocking was dressed in a French maid's outfit and she was forced to cook dinner for Corset.
Corset and Scanty sat by the table. Scanty was not happy.
"Corset, can I please kill her now?" begged Scanty.
"No, Scanty," answered Corset. "I want to have fun with Anarchy."
Stocking came out of the kitchen and arrived in with two plates of the meal; Fish with mashed potatoes and carrots.
She placed the plates in front of Corset and Scanty.
"Sorry, I'm not much of a cook," said Stocking. "But I was tired of Panty and I getting take outs all the time, so I decided to cook real meals. I can do fish, potatoes and carrots, no problem."
"Well, it actually looks nice," said Corset.
"It looks disgusting," snarled Scanty. "What are you trying to do to us, Anarchy? Poison us?"
"Do shut up, Scanty," snapped Corset who began to eat the food. "Mmm, this is really good."
"Wine?" asked Stocking.
"Please," answered Corset.
Stocking poured Corset a full glass, and poured only a drop to Scanty's glass. Scanty was not enjoying this.
Later, Corset was full. He had finished his plate, but Scanty had barely eaten anything.
"That's too bad, Scanty," said Corset. "You'll be getting no dessert."
Scanty got up and just stormed out of the room and slammed the door.
"What would you like for dessert?" asked Stocking.
Corset looked at her and raised his eyebrows. Then he pulled down his zipper and took it out.
Stocking was amazed.
"Wow!" she exclaimed.
"All I want is a blow job, nothing more," he said.
Stocking got on her knees and performed the blow job. She was actually surprised.
"Wow, this is actually really good," she said as she sucked more and more.
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Back at the angels' house, Kneesocks was still on the toilet. It was 3 in the morning and more watery crap was pouring out of her. It went on until the next morning.
The tired Kneesocks- Stocking staggered out of the bathroom, free at last. She made her way down to the kitchen.
Panty was eating cereal and had a big smile on her face.
"Hey, birdshit face," said Panty. "I edited the video and it got 3 million hits."
Kneesocks groaned.
"Still recovering from your shitravaganza?" asked Panty
"I'm going to bed," groaned Kneesocks.
Kneesocks staggered up stairs and into Stocking's room. She got into bed and drifted off to a deep sleep.
7 hours later, she woke to the sound of someone knocking on her door.
"Hey, Jessie J, your goth friends are here," said Panty as she opened the door and Stocking's goth friends; Zee, Jenna and Cal walked in.
"Oh, hi, guys," yawned Kneesocks.
"We saw the video," said Zee.
"You ready to see the movie?" asked Jenna.
"What movie?" asked Kneesocks.
"Death School 1996," answered Cal. "The goriest horror movie of the year."
Kneesocks couldn't believe it. She HATES horror movies and gore made her sick. But she had to stay in character as Stocking.
"Er, sure," she lied. "When is it on?"
"In an hour," answered Zee. "It's gonna be awesome. They say it is gorier than Peter Jackson's Braindead."
"Er… okay, let's get going," said Kneesocks.
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So Kneesocks and Stocking's friends went to the cinema. "Death School 1996" was a horror comedy set in the 90's about school students having to kill each other in a Mortal Kombat style tournament. The tagline on the movie's poster said "So 90's, it literally hurts!". The gore was amped up to 11. Skins being peeled off, organs being ripped out, bodies exploding and even a scene where a boy crawls inside another boy's asshole and we see inside.
Stocking's friends were absolutely digging it, but Kneesocks felt like she was going to be sick from all the gore.
After an hour, she couldn't take it anymore and had to run out of the screening and into the restroom where she vomited in the toilet for a long time. Then she had to leave the building.
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Back in Corset's office, he was taking photographs of the real Stocking naked. His boner was sticking out as Stocking posed sensually for him.
Scanty entered the room, disgusted.
"Corset, when are we going to kill her?" she barked.
"Scanty my dear, do fuck off," said Corset. "I'm busy."
He took more photos of Stocking.
"Oh, I'm going to masturbate to these later," he said. "And we're done. Get dressed, Stocking. I have something to tell Scanty."
Stocking left the room and Corset spoke to Scanty.
"You're not killing her," he said.
"What?" asked a surprised Scanty.
"I've grown attached to dear Stocking," said Corset. "It's the goth thing. I find it attractive. Infact, I think it is time for me to move on."
Scanty looked at him.
"You're going to marry her?" asked Scanty.
Corset nodded.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Scanty. "If you marry her, she'll be my stepmother! And she's the same age as me, it's disgusting!"
"SCANTY, I AM THE MAYOR AND I CAN DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE!" barked Corset. "DON'T LIKE IT? THEN FUCK OFF!"
"FINE!" cried Scanty as she stormed out. "When is the wedding?"
"TONIGHT!" Corset snapped back.
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The sickly Kneesocks- Stocking arrived back at the angels' home. When she got into the sitting room, she saw Panty and Garter on the sofa giving her cold stares.
"What?" asked Kneesocks.
"Bitch, what the fuck is going on?" asked Panty. "First you acted weird when you had to eat Gummi bears, Chuck's growling at you, you're not swearing and your friends said that you ditched them during the movie."
"I'm still sick after eating the Gummi bears," lied Kneesocks.
"Bullshit," said Garter. "If you're the real Stocking, then what is your pet's name?"
Kneesocks looked at Chuck and tried to remember his name.
"Erm, errrrr….. Carl?"
Garter had a glass of water, he stood up, walked over and threw the water at Kneesocks' face. Kneesocks howled in pain as hissing noises could be heard.
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! DARN YOU, ANARCHY!"
"Holy water, sucka," said Garter.
The fake Stocking's skin turned back to red and her hair turned blue. Also, the horn on her forehead grew back. Panty and Garter saw that it was Kneesocks all along. Chuck growled at her.
Garter had a water pistol filled with holy water. Panty grabbed Kneesocks and shoved her against a wall.
"Now, sunburnt unicorn," she told her. "You tell me where my sister is or Garter will burn your organs with holy water."
The doorbell rang from the bottom floor. Panty, Garter and Kneesocks went down the elevator to see who it was. They opened the door and saw Scanty standing there.
"Corset is planning to marry Stocking, tonight!" she said.
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On the roof of City Hall, Corset was holding a wedding for himself and Stocking. The guests included demons from Hell, plus a demon band and a demon priest.
Corset was dressed in a tux and was ready to be married.
The guests all sat down and the band played the Wedding march. Stocking arrived wearing a black bride's dress and made her way to Corset and the priest.
Corset looked at his bride.
"You are beautiful," he said.
"Corset, I….I…," said a weeping Stocking.
"I know, I'm emotional too," replied a teary eyed Corset.
The priest began.
"I'll do the short version. Corset do you?"
"Yes," answered the evil man.
"Stocking?" asked the priest.
"Yes she does," said Corset.
"I pronounce you demon husband and angel wife…."
BANG! Suddenly the priest's head exploded.
Everyone looked behind them to see where the shot came from. They saw Panty, Scanty and Kneesocks with their weapons ready. Smoke was coming out of Panty's gun.
"I object, motherfuckers."
"GET HER!" Corset ordered the guests.
They all got up and made their way to Panty. But to Corset's surprise, Scanty and Kneesocks were fighting them off as well.
BANG! BANG! BANG! Went Panty and Scanty's pistols.
SLASH! SWIPE! Went Kneesocks' scythes.
Soon, all the guests were defeated and there was just Corset left.
Panty went up to Stocking.
"You okay, bitch?" she asked her.
"Yeah," answered Stocking.
Scanty and Kneesocks were very angry at Corset.
"Now, now, girls…." Corset pleaded.
"You were going to marry Anarchy and throw us into their streets?" asked Kneesocks,
"No, I mean, well….," begged Corset.
Scanty looked at Panty and Stocking.
"This could take a while, you two run off."
"See you cunts in another while," said Panty as she and Stocking left.
"Likewise," Kneesocks told them.
Then she looked at Stocking.
"How do you put up with that sister of yours?" Kneesocks asked her.
"I wonder that myself," Stocking answered back.
As the angels left, the Deamon Sisters argued with Corset.
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Panty invited Stocking's friends; Zee, Jenna and Cal to the house and told them what really happened.
"Shame, cos I really wanted to see that movie," said Stocking.
"Well, how about we go see it tomorrow night?" asked Jenna.
"Okay," said Stocking. "No spoilers."
"There's a bit where…..," teased Zee.
"NO! DON'T TELL ME!" laughed Stocking. "I WANNA SEE IT FOR MYSELF!"
"Oh the stuff that movie has for you," said Cal.
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The Deamon sisters were at a bar drinking Martinis. They were depressed over what happened.
"I'm such a failure, sister," said Kneesocks. "And I had to eat five pounds of sweets that gave me diarrhea, and also watch a gory film. I don't know which one made me sicker."
"But you tried, my dear Kneesocks," Scanty told her. "And by the way, it'll be an interesting chapter in our autobiography."
"I can't wait till we finish it," said Kneesocks perking up. "Every woman will want to be us when they read it."
"Here, here," said Scanty as she and Kneesocks clinked glasses.
END