I push past the servents, my long cape billowing behind me. I hear the faint cry of an elderly woman, and hear the sound of her bones breaking as I shove her into the wall – she was blocking my path – . I ignore this, however, as such people you grow a tolerance; I grimace as I hear her screams of pain. Old people are so loud...
"Oi!" I click my fingers and a lowly peasant appears before me, "Take me to my rooms!"
"But...my back..." the slave whimpered, "The healer said-."
"IDGAF!" I screamed, "CARRY ME THERE!"
"...very well," he moves over to me and lifts me up, staggering under my weight.
"DON'T STAGGER!" I scream in his ear, "I'M NOT OBESE LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER!"
"...she has a medical condition that makes her-."
"I don't care!" I smacked him on the head, "Now, TO MY ROOMS!"
"Darling!" the she-elf stands up, extending her arms to embrace me. I reciprocate the embrace for a second, then brush past her to the wine cabinet.
"Where are the new- oh wait here they are," I state, taking a bottle of wine and chugging it down.
"Dear," Arwen starts, "You know the healer said you should limit your alcohol intake..."
"FUCK THAT!" I exclaimed, "#YOLO, AM I RIGHT!?"
"...What?" she raises an eyebrow, "You're drunk already?"
"NO." I throw the now-empty bottle on the ground, and grab another one, "I AM NOT- FINE YES I AM. SO WHAT? #YOLO AM I RIGHT!?"
"..." she leaves the room, and I dimly hear her call out for someone to get here. She returns a patronising look on her face.
"Come on, Aragorn..." she takes me around the shoulders and I let her guide me away.
"I HAVE SO MUCH SWAG, OH MY GOD," I cry out, shoving the servant in the room away and stepping on him, "I'M FABULOUUUUSSSSSS~!"
I collapse, unconscious.