Title: Parenting 101

Rating: T

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

Summary: Chuck and Blair are partnered together in a home living class during freshman year and there first assignment is to take care of a robot baby. Can the unlikely pair get and A+ or is Blair destined to get her first C in a class? This takes place before the show started.

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Gossip Girl!

Chuck Bass could feel a headache coming on as he listened to the screaming robot baby that had been given to him and Blair. Everyone else in the class seemed to have gotten ones which did not make so much as a peep and yet he had somehow been given the one that would not shut up no matter what they tried. He had known he should've just bailed on this class and not caved to his best friend's girlfriend's wishes. This plastic baby only reinforced his theory as to why having children was a bad idea. It also helped to remind him why he would never have children.

"Take the batteries out already so it will shut up." He groaned rubbing his temples as he watched Blair Waldorf pace and back and forth as she tried to calm the thing down. All this screaming was making his hangover from the previous night's activities worse. "This is what you women really want, a squirming screaming miniature human being? If I were a female the only thing a baby would make want to do would be to get my tubes tied or have a hysterectomy."

Blair rolled her eyes as she took the bottle with a censor to indicate when the fake child would feed and placed it to the mouth. "If you were a women I have no doubt you would be a lesbian because you love women too much to ever be interested in a man. You wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant. Stop complaining and give me some ideas besides cheating to pass the class. Unlike you I actually want to get an A the right way. So step up and play baby daddy already."

"If you want an A then you handle little Blair." He told her as the bell rang and he grabbed his bag. They both headed out of the building since it was the last class of the day and now they were free for the rest of the day and weekend. "I could care less if I pass or not. I am only taking the class as a favor to you for getting rid of that delectable little blonde the other day that refused to leave my suite. I showed up and I consider that fulfilling my end of the bargain."

As they approached his limo Chuck was surprised when she grabbed the back of his jacket and yanked him back a few steps. The look on her face was one of rage and annoyance. The billionaire playboy had seen that look plenty of times when she directed it to people who got on her bad side. "You are not leaving me alone for a whole weekend with baby Waldorf-Bass. You have responsibility as a father to stick around and help me out. I am not going to be forced to raise this baby alone. Don't make me go over your head and call Bart. I am sure he would not be pleased to learn his son his trying to weasel his way of his responsibility."

"You do realize that the thing you are holding isn't actually a real child right?" He smirked and shook his head at her outraged behavior. "I think I would remember creating a baby and if it was with you I know nothing would be able to erase that memory."

"Stop being gross and start doing your part." Blair hissed holding the doll out for him to take. "Also I doubt you would remember creating a child with anyone since you are hardly ever sober. This should be good practice for you and trust me when I say that you will need it because there is no doubt in my mind you probably have a baby Bass or two out there already."

Chuck scowled and grabbed the baby doll by the foot holding it upside down before shaking it when it continued to cry. "I command you to stop crying this instant. No child of Chuck Bass would ever cry and show such weakness. Blair I think you must have been having an affair because this thing is not mine. Are you sure that this child doesn't belong to Nathaniel?"

"Very funny Bass, but not enough to make me take on all the responsibility by myself." She told him while taking the baby from him flipping it around before setting it in his arms and positioning him so that he was supporting the head properly. "Now gently rock it back and forth. It would not hurt to talk in soft tones either. It is what I see all the parents in Central Park doing and that seems to work."

"What do you expect me to say to the thing?" He questioned while rocking it back and forth. To his surprise it actually started to quiet down. "I suppose I could tell it all about the party last night. You see baby Waldorf-Bass, I met this natural redhead and do you want to know how I knew she was a natural redhead? Well you see-"

Blair quickly covered the robot's ears before Chuck could say more. "Stop trying to corrupt our child!"

A chuckle escaped his lips as he shook his head. "I will say this again, you do remember it isn't real right?"

The only daughter of Eleanor Waldorf did not respond right away. She simple chose to glare in his direction until silence filled the air. It had finally stopped screaming and he went to hand it back to her, but it started to cry again and so he did the rocking technique again and it shut up once more. "Who would have thought you actually had a parental bone in your body?"

"No one is more shocked by this revelation than I am." Chuck admitted leaning up against the door of his limo. "Maybe everything Bart is lacking has passed on to me."

For a second Blair looked sympathetic before sadness filled her big brown eyes. "Apparently everything in Eleanor has passed on to me. I am a horrible mother. Even a robot can tell I have no motherly instinct."

"You are going to make a great mother." He told her absolutely sure of his statement. Blair Waldorf was one of the most caring people he had ever met and he knew for a fact one day she would be a wonderful mother to her children. Hating the fact she was so sad he let out an overly dramatic sigh and rolled his eyes. It looked as if his plans for the weekend had a taken a sudden turn and in a direction he never would have thought of. "How about you come back to my suite and we can have a family evening. I know Nathaniel has Lacrosse practice and then plans to go visit his grandfather for the weekend. We can rent Hepburn movies, room service, and I promise to be on my upmost best behavior. I also promise not to take the batteries out. It will be like playing house and while I usually prefer to play doctor I am sure the evening won't be a complete and total loss. I will even send some to pick up some Macaroons since I happen to know they are your favorite."

"I suppose I can clear my schedule." Blair let out a bright smile as she opened the limo door for him since had his hands full at the moment. "Lead the way daddy Bass and if you drop her I am going to make sure you have to go to a doctor and I can guarantee it won't be a pleasant visit for you."

Chuck grinned at her as he slid in to the limo. "I love it when you talk about violence. It is such a turn on princess."

The End!

AN: I have absolutely no idea where this came from. It just sort of popped in to my head and I couldn't fall asleep until I wrote it. I hope that you all like it and I am sorry it is not better, but I was tired and wanted to get it out. I thought it was cute even if not my best work.

Please R&R like always!