CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH CREAM
a short story about—love—three teddy bears—popsicles—the younger brother—bet on it—the loser—why fate seems to hate us all—and above all—chocolate cake with cream
love—
It is, by far, the best day of Estrela's life.
It's her sixth birthday. They're all outside of the family shoe shop, in the backyard. It's the perfect spring day, with green grass and a blue sky and chirping birds. All of the other Town girls are coming over, and Estrela is both excited to make new friends and also terrified at the prospect of meeting other people. Unlike the other girls, she's homeschooled, so she doesn't know most of them. It's just her, her raggedy brown teddy bear, and her five-year-old brother Cooper.
"Look, another girl is coming!" says Cooper. Estrela squeezes the bear tighter and smoothes down the folds of her pink dress.
"Will she like me?" she whispers, to herself.
"Of course she will!" exclaims Cooper, who had of course heard her. He wraps his arms around her waist.
She opens the gate for the other girl, who is wearing blonde pigtails and a yellow dress. Her eyes look as blue as the sky, and her smile looks as bright as the sun. The biggest surprise to Estrela, however, is that the girl is holding a teddy bear that looks almost as cute and raggedy as hers.
"What's the bear's name?" she asks shyly to the new girl.
"Cake!" answers the other one.
Estrela giggles. "Mine's named Chocolate!"
They laugh. Later, Estrela learns that the girl's name is Ariel, and they sit together at the party table.
It is, by far, the best day of Estrela's life.
three teddy bears—
Perhaps she's too old for the thing now, being twelve, but she can't abandon Chocolate. Chocolate's been with her for as long as she can remember. She latches onto the stuffed bear like a leech.
"Don't take it!" she shrieks. "You can't trash her! You can't!"
Her mother sighs and cruelly rips the bear out of Estrela's arms. "Estrela," she says calmly, trying to get her daughter to see logic, "you're twelve now. Look how patched up and worn this bear is. Your brother, who's a year younger than you, agreed to trash his bear too."
To Cooper's credit, he doesn't tease his older sister or take any sides, but only looks down at his feet, as if ashamed. Estrela can say nothing but only watch, stony-faced. It seems as if all hope for her teddy bear is gone, when all of a sudden, the door opens.
Ariel enters and, seeing the situation and sensing the drama, her eyes widen. "I'm, um, here for our play date?"
"Ariel," says Estrela's mother, wearily, "tell me, have you trashed your teddy bear yet? You have, right? Like a big girl. And a good girl."
Ariel's eyes flicker from Estrela and then to her mother, back and forth. Then she says slowly, "Actually, I still have my teddy bear at home."
"Ha! See?" Estrela exclaims, silently thanking her friend a thousand times over. "I'm not the only one!"
"Estrela," says her mother sternly, staring her daughter down. Estrela looks down.
And then Cooper finally speaks up. "Um, actually, Mom, can I, um, keep my bear?"
The woman's eyes nearly pop out. Finally, she sighs. She's fighting a losing battle, and she knows it. So she surrenders. "Estrela, Cooper, Ariel, you three win. Enjoy your teddy bears. Cooper, you can retrieve your bear from the kitchen counter."
"Thank you Mom," mumbles Cooper, looking rather ashamed.
In contrast to Cooper, Estrela and Ariel shamelessly squeal. Ariel even runs all the way home to get her bear: a tan-colored, adorable little thing.
"What's your bear's name, Cooper?" Ariel asks kindly when she returns, laying down her bear on the table next to Cooper's.
"Cream," he answers.
Estrela starts laughing, and she sets down her dark brown bear between Ariel's tan-colored bear and Cooper's white one. "Chocolate cake with cream," she declares.
popsicles—
"You know what the funny thing is?" Ariel asks one day. They're fifteen now, and still best friends. "The funny thing is, I've only had an actual cake twice."
"Really?" Estrela asks. "I've had cake three times. Once on my fourth birthday, once at a wedding, and once at Kayla Undersee's thirteenth party."
"You got cake for your birthday once? An entire cake? Was it big?"
"Gigantic," Estrela confirms. She tries to recall the image of the cake: large, with two layers and creamy vanilla frosting. But the inside had been chocolate. And it had tasted sweet. So sweet. Even though she and Ariel are both living on the richer side of District Twelve, the Town, cake is pretty extravagant. Unless you're the mayor's daughter or something, she supposes. The mayor's daughter, who is three years older than her, gets cake every year. "Being the mayor's daughter must be awfully fun. All that cake."
"Hey, but we get popsicles!" Cooper pops in, his tongue purple, carrying a brand new pack of popsicles. "They're grape flavored!"
Within seconds, the pack is empty, and all that remains are wooden sticks and purpled tongues.
the younger brother—
Cooper is fifteen years old. He loves popsicles, his sister Estrela and almost-sister Ariel, and being a hero. He is also Reaped for the 44th Hunger Games.
It is silent in the room where they are to be saying goodbye. Silent and empty. Estrela looks strained, as if she is going to burst into tears any moment. Ariel looks worried, not only for Cooper but also for her best friend.
"Cheer up, Estrela," says Cooper finally, breaking the silence. "I'll win. I'm going to rescue damsels and kill pandas and become a reg!"
"A reg?"
"A regular Victor! A hero at the palace of Caesar!" He imitates a fanfare.
Estrela and Ariel exchange glances. "Okay," Estrela finally says. She smiles. "You'll need to kill a certain amount of pandas before you become a reg, though."
Cooper beams. "That's the spirit, sis!"
A knock and a yell from the door alerts them that time is running low. Estrela sobers up and tells Cooper, "I know you can do this. I know you can win. Try your best! Please!"
bet on it—
"He's not going to win," says Estrela hollowly. Ariel has never seen her best friend so downhearted. Even when Cooper was first Reaped, Estrela had been able to put on a smile and make a reassuring joke. That had been how the sibling pair had said goodbye—with a joke.
But now, with Cooper gone and on the train to the Capitol, her best friend looks utterly drained. Ariel hears sniffles and sees tears streaking down her best friend's face.
"He's not going to win," Estrela repeats, leaning on Ariel for support. Ariel doesn't know what to do. Comforting was never her forte. She only holds her best friend, feeling the tears wet her shirt. She awkwardly pats the head.
"I'm sure he will," she says softly. "I'm sure he'll come back, somehow. Cooper is funny, and everyone likes him, and he has mad damsel-saving skills, remember?"
Estrela only cries harder, not even smiling at the joke. "He's not going to win. He's not."
"Yes, he will, he will," Ariel reassures.
Estrela then snaps away from Ariel's shirt and stands up tall. "Stop lying to me. You and I both know that there's no chance that Cooper is coming back. I'm willing to bet on it."
"Estrela…" It breaks her heart to see her best friend like this. Sometimes Ariel thinks she forgets that Estrela is really only a year younger than her. And that Estrela too is capable of being hurt and broken and mangled. And it's breaking her heart.
"Don't Estrela me. You and I both know that there's no chance that Cooper is coming back. I'm willing to bet on it," she repeats, in an even harsher tone. But her voice cracks at the end, betraying her emotions.
Ariel stands up straight. "Well, so am I," she says, resolute. "I'm willing to bet that Cooper will come back."
"Bet with me? Bet on what? One coin? That's the most anyone would want to be on him…"
"No," declares Ariel. "I am willing to be with you a thick, fluffy, sweet, three-layer chocolate cake. With cream frosting."
"Ha!" snorts Estrela. "I will take that bet. You're going to lose, you know." She laughs, but not the warm Estrela chuckle that Ariel knows so well. One sick and fragmented, with tears leaking out of her eyes. Shakily, she offers out her hand, to shake on it.
Ariel takes it. She shakes. She really hopes that everything will turn out okay.
the loser—
Estrela wins that bet.
why fate seems to hate us all—
A week passes. Estrela struggles through life, trying not to look too messed up. Wake up. Go to school. Do your work. Eat lunch alone. Go home. Eat dinner. Homework. Sleep.
It all becomes routine. She wakes up, goes to school, and quietly does her work. If she runs into Ariel, she briefly says hello but runs away as quickly as she can. Ariel just reminds her too much of Cooper. She eats lunch by herself, forcing down the food, although it doesn't taste like anything at all to her. It just tastes… bland. Empty. Like her world. Then she goes home. Forces down some more tasteless food for dinner. Does her homework. Goes to bed.
Why does she still wake up, even? What is there for her that gets her out of bed?
Nothing, she supposes. Nothing.
Wake up. Go to school. Do your work. Eat lunch alone. Go home. Eat dinner. Homework. Sleep.
Wake up. Go to school. Do your work. Eat lunch…
"Hey, Estrela," says a soft voice overhead.
She recognizes the voice immediately. It seems as if Ariel has found her hiding spot at the foot of the stairs to the science building. She gulps. She does not look up. She can't bear to look at Ariel. "Hello." She is about to run away when Ariel cries out:
"Wait!"
Estrela freezes but does not turn around. "Why?"
"Because I have something for you."
Estrela turns and looks at Ariel—looks at her—and finally notices that Ariel is carrying a gigantic chocolate cake in her arms. With cream.
She doesn't even smile. "What's that for?"
"The bet," says Ariel. "You won."
"That bet?" She remembers it. But she didn't mean it. The bet. Was it really just a month ago? The bet seems so long ago, years and years ago. She looks back at the cake and feels repulsed, like she is about to throw up.
"I don't want it."
"You have to take it!" Ariel seems desperate, the look in her eyes wild and dark and crazy. "It's a thick, fluffy, sweet, three-layer chocolate cake, with cream frosting, just like I promised! You. Have. To. Take it!" She thrusts the cake into Estrela's arms and runs away.
Perhaps before, Estrela would have taken it just to appease Ariel. Perhaps before, she would have noticed that maybe she wasn't the only one suffering. Perhaps before, all it would have taken was the cake to make her feel better.
But now, just the sight—the scent—the memory associations—it's all too much…
She pushes it away from her and the cake crashes onto the ground upside down, crumpling into a heap of brown and tan and cream and the white of the plate. She stares at the mess, and her eyes blur with the colors and the tears and the memories.
The scent fills her nose, and she feels bile in the back of her mouth. She feels sick.
And then she throws up.
chocolate cake with cream—
She crouches down and picks up the plate. There still remain a few smears intact, protected by the other layers of the cake and the plate from the ground and her vomit and everything else against it. She dabs her finger in some of the frosting and licks. Chocolate.
She does not smile. In fact, the chocolate doesn't even taste like anything. It tastes bland like everything else she's been eating. It feels empty. And it's disgusting. Repulsive. She can taste the bile rebuilding in her mouth again.
Taste it.
She throws up again. When she wipes her mouth, she is smiling—just a bit.
So, erm, Irma apologizes for some of the utter clichéness/general suckiness of this fic. I fail. But I do wish Aproma a long and happy life!
Reviews?