-1Once upon a time there was a legendary hero named Link. He traveled across the land of Hyrule to slay the villainous Ganon and rescue princess Zelda. Grateful for her rescue, Zelda married Link and they lived happily ever after… for about a week. After seven days spending a honeymoon with his wife Link realized she was a total bitch who couldn't do shit for herself.

For the next five months things seem have gotten worse. Despite the fact Link was king, queen Zelda ordered him like a slave. The hero of Hyrule would always have to do some backbreaking task that the queen would demand him to do. Today, he had to travel to the top of Death Mountain for milk. Link suggested his wife to get milk from Lon Lon Ranch, which was quicker to reach and less hazardous. All he got for an answer was a swift kick to the nuts.

Grumbling with aches on the bottom of his feet and between his legs, Link was walking on foot to get some goddamn milk. He was too tired to continue on and promptly collapsed on the mountain floor. Looking to his left, Link saw a conveniently placed tavern with the name of 'Tingle's Fairy Bar.' He used his last ounce of strength to enter the bar, hoping some fairies may be inside to help restore his health. There was some fairies, but it was THOSE kind of fairies.

"You didn't expect this place to be a gay bar, huh?" spoke a feminine voice in the dark area of the bar.

Link nodded to whoever was talking to him. Suddenly, he fell over from exhaustion, but was quickly stopped from landing on the floor thanks to a giant hand . The hand pulled the weakened hero into the shadows. Now closer to the person, Link could clearly see the owner of the huge hand. It appeared to be a small imp girl wearing a rusty helmet of some sort. The giant hand was actually on top of her head, and in an instant the hand formed into regular looking hair. In her hands, which were much smaller compared to the large one, was a half-filled bottle of red potion.

"Drink this" the imp said as she gave the bottle to Link. "It will help make you feel better."

The king took swallowed the potion, and like the creature stated he wasn't so feeble anymore. He thanked her and asked who she was.

"Who am I?" the imp repeated the question. She smirked revealing her sharp teeth and answered "you can call me Midna."

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TO BE CONTINUED. BECAUSE I'M TOO DAMN LAZY TO WRITE MORE IN THIS CHAPTER.