DC: Okay, after my recent attempts at righting a somewhat serious story, I've decide I suck at it. From here on out, I'll only right funny/crack/retarded stories. Including this one!

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DC: Oh, wait. I don't own Naruto in anyway, shape, or form. I'm kind of a noob so please excuse my lack of perfect Naruto knowledge. Okay, proceed.

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Team 7 was sitting on a hill eating lunch.

"Isn't today just great?" asked Sasuke with a smile on his face. But neither Sakura nor Naruto were listening.

"Your eyes are so beautiful," whispered Naruto.

"Yours are too," said Sakura. Never before had two people had such a bond as them. On an impulse, Naruto kissed Sakura. She was startled, but then returned the kiss. They sat, two lovers looking into the sunset.

Well, maybe in a different fanfiction, but not this one!

"Naruto, stop fantasizing about me and you making out on a hill!" exclaimed Sakura. Naruto snapped out of his dream. In 'reality', Team 7 was sitting in their (aka Naruto's) favorite ramen shop.

"Ugh, onion ramen always makes me daydream," muttered Naruto as he proceeded to eat. Unbeknownst to them, they were being watched…

"Day 103," muttered Hinata, scribbling in a notebook, "Naruto and team come to ramen shop. Naruto orders onion ramen. Still lack courage to approach." Hinata sighed. Stalking Naruto and writing down his every action seemed like a good idea in the beginning, but it only made her feel worse. "I wish there was someway I could get him to notice me," mused Hinata. Suddenly, Kakashi appeared behind her. Hinata whirled around.

"Kakashi-sensei!" exclaimed Hinata, "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for a quiet place to read my book," replied the jounin, "What are you doing here?"

"Stalking Naruto!" said Hinata happily. Kakashi shook his head.

"If you want him that badly, just go talk to him."

"I can't. Whenever I get close to him, I can barely talk. Can you help me?" Kakashi thought for a moment, and then nodded.

"Very well, I need something to do," said Kakashi. He performed a hand-sign.

"Transformation Jutsu!" Suddenly, Kakashi turned into Hinata. "Don't worry; I know what I'm doing." Kakashi ran toward the shop. "Just hide around the corner!" Hinata nodded and did just that.

Naruto, totally oblivious to the scheme and the fact Sakura and Sasuke had left, had just downed his fifth bowl of ramen.

"I could eat here all day!" said the ninja.

"And I could take your money all day!" replied the chef. Suddenly, 'Hinata' walked in.

"Hey, Naruto," she said seductively. Naruto turned to look at her.

"Wow, pardon by obnoxiousness, but you're looking…hot today," said Naruto completely of guard. And she was. Instead of the normal outfit she wore she was wearing a black sleeveless shirt and short shorts.

"That's funny," cooed Hinata, "You are too," Naruto blushed. "Say," continued Hinata, "Want to come to my place later?" Naruto nodded. "Okay, just give me a half hour to…get ready." She licked her lips and left. Naruto stared, then had a nosebleed and fainted.

Kakashi untransformed and went back to Hinata.

"He'll be at your place in half an hour," said Kakashi. Hinata beamed.

"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei. Now I'll have an opportunity to use these." Hinata reached into her pockets and pulled out some handcuffs and a whip.

"Uh…I'll be going now," muttered Kakashi as he vanished. Hinata grinned wickedly as she went home to 'get ready'.

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I'm going to stop now before I have to rate this an M. Next chapter: Itachi returns with a peaceful proposition, Sakura goes goth, and Yu-gi-oh makes a guest star appearance. REVIEW! (and stay tuned…)