Title: Shaant
Author: Annie
Rating: G
Timeline: Sometimes after "the Coup" but no real knowledge necessary. Just vague references. Anytime in Season One, I suppose.
Summary: "If she wasn't going to fight for love, then what were her grounds for wanting Vaughn in her life?" Sydney realizes some things are for secure, no matter what. S/V
Disclaimer: I seriously own nothing. Like seriously. You wouldn't believe.
Distribution: I'd be more than honored to have this anywhere. Just drop me a note.
Genre: Drama/ Romance It's not angst-y, but it's not fluff, I guess.
Author's Note: This is my first work in Alias section. I wrote one thing for another show, but I got no reviews, so it discouraged me a bit. If you could please review, it'd really make me a happy, (more confident) writer. I have more planned for this but I'm not sure whether to write it or not, so tell me whether to continue or not. I'd just really like feedback as to whether this was actually worth a read or not.
Oh and if you wanted to know, the title means safety, peace, stability in Hindi (the official language spoken in India)
They took him away.
Without a care, without a second thought (actually second, third and fourth thoughts are what led to this.)
She argued, exerting nothing had happened.
They countered, asserting that if they were to wait for what they deemed the inevitable, it would be too late.
She threatened to quit.
They told her if she felt so strongly about the situation, then their actions were only more justified.
She threatened to quit again.
They told her she could if she wanted to.
But then one of them leaned forward, and peered into her eyes. She stared back at the green-----not my choice of green-----and defiantly dared him to raise his point.
He asked her whether she'd really enjoy going back to work for SD-6 as a loyal agent, knowing the betrayal they put her through. You don't wait to quit, he told her, and she had to restrain herself from quitting right there. He was right.
She wanted to kick herself. She was such an easy target. Her guard had been down since they had caught her by surprise. Joey's Pizza had called and she had made her way to the warehouse, expecting Vaughn. What a surprise when she'd seen the three of them there. She didn't really mind the senior two; it was the last guy she took special interest in glaring at. Vaughn had told her once that he'd been reported by some weasel, and upon laying eyes on the youngest of the men, she had no doubt that he was exactly all Vaughn had said, and more.
"Agent Bristow…" they began, and proceeded to tell her the situation. In plain blatant words, as if they weren't taking away her only lifeline, as if they weren't ridding her of her sole source of solace, as if they weren't adding to the list of people taken away that she had loved. She caught herself with that thought, but quickly dismissed it. If she wasn't going to fight for love, then what were her grounds for wanting Vaughn in her life? It was love, after all that made her cling so desperately to his every word of reassurance. Love that made his smile the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Love that made her fight every day for SD-6 to end, so she could live normally.
Half of her wanted to scream that to them-didn't they have wives they loved, people that they couldn't love without? ------Well, she thought wryly, maybe not that last guy-----. Half of her wanted to just show them that no matter how dangerous it was, she had already crossed the point of no return. She needed Vaughn.
The other half-----the rational half, she thought self-deprecatingly----realized that they were doing what they thought was best. And it was best for Vaughn. His job wouldn't be threatened anymore-she glared at the rat-like creature in front of her when she thought of that-his life wouldn't be threatened anymore. He could forget about her and life-----well his anyway-would be good------ and more importantly, simple. Which was exactly what Vaughn deserved.
But she knew he wouldn't forget her. Because she wouldn't forget him. Because he invested too much care into each mission. Because she brightened a little too much every time he smiled. Because he was a little too willing to meet her at all odd hours. Because of that little part of her that was always a little glad to be in the warehouse.
What am I going to do without him? She thought woefully. And who the hell is going to be my handler? She glanced in front of her. Please don't let it be this fool.
They were talking but she still wasn't listening.------ Why should I listen to them rationalize this? I know it's wrong. Besides, they didn't exactly listen to me on the matter. Like hell I'm going to listen.------ She put up a defiance stance of ignorance-if only in her mind.
"… Miss Bristow… Miss Bristow?" the most senior of them demanded. Better listen now, Syd. He's not a happy camper. Then again, neither am I. "Are you listening?"
"You have more to say?" she asked.
"Yes, and I think you'll be interested in this last part," he said. She -reluctantly- paid attention.
"Now Agent Vaughn has already prepared your latest mission, so tomorrow he will perform his final duties as your handler. He will also inform you of who your new handler will be," he said. In all her jumbled reactions, she had never imagined she'd get to say goodbye to him. But she would. "This is more than we would allow in other circumstances, but this partnership has not been entirely fruitless"-- fruitless?-- "and so we have granted you this reprieve." Reprieve my ass.
She walked in slowly and took the sight of him in.------ Take a long, hard look, girlie, because it is going to have to last you a long while.------ He met her gaze, muddling it so she didn't know where green ended and brown began.
"There goes stability," she muttered. She didn't know why she said it, but it felt unceremonious to begin this meeting-----our last meeting------with their usual "hey".
"I'll still be around," he said.------- And award for the agent with the least ability to lie: Michael Vaughn!------ She told him so.
"You're a horrible, terrible liar," she said. He retorted with a lopsided grin. ------He doesn't need to say anything else. That's enough to make any woman speechless.------
"Isn't that what you liked about me the most?" he answered. She smiled her acquiescence.------ But you wouldn't believe how many things come in a close second. "So this is our last meeting."------
"God, I'd hoped we'd say that on the day we were ready to raid SD-6," she replied, wistfully.
"It'll come sooner than you think," he said. She gave him a look. "It will. You're amazing."
"I'm not alone," she said. He looked at her, a small smile playing on his lips.
"I'm going to see you, you know that right? And even if I don't, I'm going to be in your life."
"What do you mean?" she said. He caught the hope in her voice, and she knew it.------ It's about time we stopped playing games.------
"Well, when SD-6 is brought down. We're going to meet in a public place, and just… I don't know party I guess," he said, with a smile that said he didn't quite believe what he had just said.
She didn't miss didn't miss it either. -----Party?-----
"Party?" she asked, incredulously.
"Well, celebrate," he said.
"Celebrate what?"
"Your freedom. Finally getting rid of my worry. The fact that you can do whatever the hell you want. The fact that I can actually see you. Us being able to hang out, meet each other's friends. Us not having to talk about a countermission," he looked at her, continuing as her smile widened. "Just us." Her heart leapt a bit.
"Pipe dream?"
"I'd hope you'd believe it coming from me," he said. She gazed at him. ------Long lashes. Thin, smooth lips. High cheekbones. And the piece de resistance, those eyes. ------
"I'm going to miss you," she told him.
"Weiss'll fill you in on what's going on with me. And vice versa," he said. Her eyes widened. "Yeah, Eric's taking over for you." She grinned. "I'm glad you approve.
"I was scared it'd be Haladki," she said. Vaughn made a face.
"I might not be your handler anymore, but god I would never let them do that to you," he said, with a chuckle. "He'll make sure we stay in each other's lives." The last sentence was said solemnly, as if Vaughn had finally stopped ignoring the fact that he'd barely-if ever-get to see her again.
------What am I going to do without you?------
"What am I going to do without you?" she asked, tearing up. He walked over and pulled her into an embrace. Possibly the last time I'll be in your arms.
"You're going to torture Eric and tell him everything you would've told me, so he can relay it back to me," he said into her hair. He slowly, tantalizingly ran his fingers through it. "You're going to be the strong, vigilant, amazing woman you are, and prove that you don't need anything to be that-"
"I need you," she squeaked.
"No. You just need that faith in yourself that has to be there without a doubt when you're as incredible you are," he said. She smiled into his shoulder, and he acknowledged it by pulling her closer. I can't get much closer than this, she thought. It can't get much better than this. He continued. "You're going to bring down SD-6 and live the life you've deserved." God, Vaughn. You should be a writer. Or a poet. Or a public speaker. Or just something where you use words, because somehow you always find the right ones.
"Syntax," she said, quietly into his shoulder.
"What?" he asked.
"Syntax," she said. "It's the literary tool of choosing what word to use in a sentence to convey the right meaning."
"Oh," he said, raising an eyebrow for a further explanation. ------God, that's the sexiest thing I've ever seen.------
"You have a good grasp of it. You always say the right things, in the right way, and for the right reasons," she explained.
"I see. Always? Not always," he countered.
"Always. It's part of the whole stability deal, I guess," she muttered the last sentence. He laughed and then quieted. "You've got to go,' he said. Tears sprang to her eyes and spilled down her cheeks and she nodded into his shoulder.
"I'll miss you so much," she said, sobbing silently.
"I won't let Weiss let you," he said. She laughed.
"You better not," she replied, as he pulled away.
They stared at each other, gaze full of longing, want, hope and most of all-best of all-love.
"I wrote down your countermission, so we wouldn't have to talk about it," he said. He handed her a file. She nodded at his thoughtfulness. "I'll see-well I won't, but one day, Syd."
"I'm holding you to that," she said. He looked like he was going to reply but instead smiled, and nodded. His eyes were glassy. He's almost crying. Could he be more perfect?
He walked a few steps, then turned and rested his hand on her arm.
"You want stability?" She nodded. "Truth is stability." She nodded once more, not daring to speak.
"Here's your stability. I'm in love with you, Sydney," he said, and walked out of the warehouse.
It was forty-five minutes later when Dixon called her, asking her if she was ready to go to the airport, that she finally moved.
Author: Annie
Rating: G
Timeline: Sometimes after "the Coup" but no real knowledge necessary. Just vague references. Anytime in Season One, I suppose.
Summary: "If she wasn't going to fight for love, then what were her grounds for wanting Vaughn in her life?" Sydney realizes some things are for secure, no matter what. S/V
Disclaimer: I seriously own nothing. Like seriously. You wouldn't believe.
Distribution: I'd be more than honored to have this anywhere. Just drop me a note.
Genre: Drama/ Romance It's not angst-y, but it's not fluff, I guess.
Author's Note: This is my first work in Alias section. I wrote one thing for another show, but I got no reviews, so it discouraged me a bit. If you could please review, it'd really make me a happy, (more confident) writer. I have more planned for this but I'm not sure whether to write it or not, so tell me whether to continue or not. I'd just really like feedback as to whether this was actually worth a read or not.
Oh and if you wanted to know, the title means safety, peace, stability in Hindi (the official language spoken in India)
They took him away.
Without a care, without a second thought (actually second, third and fourth thoughts are what led to this.)
She argued, exerting nothing had happened.
They countered, asserting that if they were to wait for what they deemed the inevitable, it would be too late.
She threatened to quit.
They told her if she felt so strongly about the situation, then their actions were only more justified.
She threatened to quit again.
They told her she could if she wanted to.
But then one of them leaned forward, and peered into her eyes. She stared back at the green-----not my choice of green-----and defiantly dared him to raise his point.
He asked her whether she'd really enjoy going back to work for SD-6 as a loyal agent, knowing the betrayal they put her through. You don't wait to quit, he told her, and she had to restrain herself from quitting right there. He was right.
She wanted to kick herself. She was such an easy target. Her guard had been down since they had caught her by surprise. Joey's Pizza had called and she had made her way to the warehouse, expecting Vaughn. What a surprise when she'd seen the three of them there. She didn't really mind the senior two; it was the last guy she took special interest in glaring at. Vaughn had told her once that he'd been reported by some weasel, and upon laying eyes on the youngest of the men, she had no doubt that he was exactly all Vaughn had said, and more.
"Agent Bristow…" they began, and proceeded to tell her the situation. In plain blatant words, as if they weren't taking away her only lifeline, as if they weren't ridding her of her sole source of solace, as if they weren't adding to the list of people taken away that she had loved. She caught herself with that thought, but quickly dismissed it. If she wasn't going to fight for love, then what were her grounds for wanting Vaughn in her life? It was love, after all that made her cling so desperately to his every word of reassurance. Love that made his smile the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Love that made her fight every day for SD-6 to end, so she could live normally.
Half of her wanted to scream that to them-didn't they have wives they loved, people that they couldn't love without? ------Well, she thought wryly, maybe not that last guy-----. Half of her wanted to just show them that no matter how dangerous it was, she had already crossed the point of no return. She needed Vaughn.
The other half-----the rational half, she thought self-deprecatingly----realized that they were doing what they thought was best. And it was best for Vaughn. His job wouldn't be threatened anymore-she glared at the rat-like creature in front of her when she thought of that-his life wouldn't be threatened anymore. He could forget about her and life-----well his anyway-would be good------ and more importantly, simple. Which was exactly what Vaughn deserved.
But she knew he wouldn't forget her. Because she wouldn't forget him. Because he invested too much care into each mission. Because she brightened a little too much every time he smiled. Because he was a little too willing to meet her at all odd hours. Because of that little part of her that was always a little glad to be in the warehouse.
What am I going to do without him? She thought woefully. And who the hell is going to be my handler? She glanced in front of her. Please don't let it be this fool.
They were talking but she still wasn't listening.------ Why should I listen to them rationalize this? I know it's wrong. Besides, they didn't exactly listen to me on the matter. Like hell I'm going to listen.------ She put up a defiance stance of ignorance-if only in her mind.
"… Miss Bristow… Miss Bristow?" the most senior of them demanded. Better listen now, Syd. He's not a happy camper. Then again, neither am I. "Are you listening?"
"You have more to say?" she asked.
"Yes, and I think you'll be interested in this last part," he said. She -reluctantly- paid attention.
"Now Agent Vaughn has already prepared your latest mission, so tomorrow he will perform his final duties as your handler. He will also inform you of who your new handler will be," he said. In all her jumbled reactions, she had never imagined she'd get to say goodbye to him. But she would. "This is more than we would allow in other circumstances, but this partnership has not been entirely fruitless"-- fruitless?-- "and so we have granted you this reprieve." Reprieve my ass.
She walked in slowly and took the sight of him in.------ Take a long, hard look, girlie, because it is going to have to last you a long while.------ He met her gaze, muddling it so she didn't know where green ended and brown began.
"There goes stability," she muttered. She didn't know why she said it, but it felt unceremonious to begin this meeting-----our last meeting------with their usual "hey".
"I'll still be around," he said.------- And award for the agent with the least ability to lie: Michael Vaughn!------ She told him so.
"You're a horrible, terrible liar," she said. He retorted with a lopsided grin. ------He doesn't need to say anything else. That's enough to make any woman speechless.------
"Isn't that what you liked about me the most?" he answered. She smiled her acquiescence.------ But you wouldn't believe how many things come in a close second. "So this is our last meeting."------
"God, I'd hoped we'd say that on the day we were ready to raid SD-6," she replied, wistfully.
"It'll come sooner than you think," he said. She gave him a look. "It will. You're amazing."
"I'm not alone," she said. He looked at her, a small smile playing on his lips.
"I'm going to see you, you know that right? And even if I don't, I'm going to be in your life."
"What do you mean?" she said. He caught the hope in her voice, and she knew it.------ It's about time we stopped playing games.------
"Well, when SD-6 is brought down. We're going to meet in a public place, and just… I don't know party I guess," he said, with a smile that said he didn't quite believe what he had just said.
She didn't miss didn't miss it either. -----Party?-----
"Party?" she asked, incredulously.
"Well, celebrate," he said.
"Celebrate what?"
"Your freedom. Finally getting rid of my worry. The fact that you can do whatever the hell you want. The fact that I can actually see you. Us being able to hang out, meet each other's friends. Us not having to talk about a countermission," he looked at her, continuing as her smile widened. "Just us." Her heart leapt a bit.
"Pipe dream?"
"I'd hope you'd believe it coming from me," he said. She gazed at him. ------Long lashes. Thin, smooth lips. High cheekbones. And the piece de resistance, those eyes. ------
"I'm going to miss you," she told him.
"Weiss'll fill you in on what's going on with me. And vice versa," he said. Her eyes widened. "Yeah, Eric's taking over for you." She grinned. "I'm glad you approve.
"I was scared it'd be Haladki," she said. Vaughn made a face.
"I might not be your handler anymore, but god I would never let them do that to you," he said, with a chuckle. "He'll make sure we stay in each other's lives." The last sentence was said solemnly, as if Vaughn had finally stopped ignoring the fact that he'd barely-if ever-get to see her again.
------What am I going to do without you?------
"What am I going to do without you?" she asked, tearing up. He walked over and pulled her into an embrace. Possibly the last time I'll be in your arms.
"You're going to torture Eric and tell him everything you would've told me, so he can relay it back to me," he said into her hair. He slowly, tantalizingly ran his fingers through it. "You're going to be the strong, vigilant, amazing woman you are, and prove that you don't need anything to be that-"
"I need you," she squeaked.
"No. You just need that faith in yourself that has to be there without a doubt when you're as incredible you are," he said. She smiled into his shoulder, and he acknowledged it by pulling her closer. I can't get much closer than this, she thought. It can't get much better than this. He continued. "You're going to bring down SD-6 and live the life you've deserved." God, Vaughn. You should be a writer. Or a poet. Or a public speaker. Or just something where you use words, because somehow you always find the right ones.
"Syntax," she said, quietly into his shoulder.
"What?" he asked.
"Syntax," she said. "It's the literary tool of choosing what word to use in a sentence to convey the right meaning."
"Oh," he said, raising an eyebrow for a further explanation. ------God, that's the sexiest thing I've ever seen.------
"You have a good grasp of it. You always say the right things, in the right way, and for the right reasons," she explained.
"I see. Always? Not always," he countered.
"Always. It's part of the whole stability deal, I guess," she muttered the last sentence. He laughed and then quieted. "You've got to go,' he said. Tears sprang to her eyes and spilled down her cheeks and she nodded into his shoulder.
"I'll miss you so much," she said, sobbing silently.
"I won't let Weiss let you," he said. She laughed.
"You better not," she replied, as he pulled away.
They stared at each other, gaze full of longing, want, hope and most of all-best of all-love.
"I wrote down your countermission, so we wouldn't have to talk about it," he said. He handed her a file. She nodded at his thoughtfulness. "I'll see-well I won't, but one day, Syd."
"I'm holding you to that," she said. He looked like he was going to reply but instead smiled, and nodded. His eyes were glassy. He's almost crying. Could he be more perfect?
He walked a few steps, then turned and rested his hand on her arm.
"You want stability?" She nodded. "Truth is stability." She nodded once more, not daring to speak.
"Here's your stability. I'm in love with you, Sydney," he said, and walked out of the warehouse.
It was forty-five minutes later when Dixon called her, asking her if she was ready to go to the airport, that she finally moved.