Summary: In the beginning, they fought for their lives. Now, at the end of destiny, in the midst of a war between heaven and hell, they fight for freedom. When the sting of sacrifice and the bitterness of betrayal consume them, will they find the outcome of the final battle was what they wished for?
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Spiral, and I don't have any intentions of owning them…(shifty-eyed)
Hizumi: Liar! (raises pitchfork)
Kanone: Yeah! Liar! (raises torch)
Eyes: …..I'm afraid I have to concur with my violent friends….
Polaris: Ok….so I want to own the three of you…you're cute, I can't help that!
Hiyono: Just like Kousuke can't help that he's stupid?
Kousuke: yeah, just like th…HEY!
Eyes: Can we get on with the fic?
Hizumi: She'll get to it when she gets to it!
Polaris: (nods) Thank you.
Kanone: Can I do the disclaimer next time?
Polaris: No! There won't be a next time! This is the only one in this fic!
Kanone: Damn….
Eyes: …The fic….
Polaris: ….Ok, I guess we can start it….after we get back from getting snacks! Everyone get in the car!
Eyes: ….Procrastinator.
Polaris: ……why thank you.
Kanone: I'm driving!
Hizumi: Shotgun! Shotgun! I called it, so it's mine!
Kanone: Can I back over him in the driveway?
Polaris: No. But maybe next time, ok?
Hizumi: What?!
Note: This fic is a continuation of KousukeAsazuki's fic, "Surrender to me" so if you haven't read it yet, go back and do so before moving onto this.
XXX
Kousuke had never been comfortable with funerals. A soft grunt of impatience settled upon the redhead's lips as he stood through Kiyotaka's eulogy, soaked to the bone from the downpour of rain. "I can't take this." He whispered to the depressed pianist beside him, earning a soft nudge in the ribs.
"Keep still." Rutherford growled in reply, growing irritated himself from the nervous and childlike shuffling of Kousuke's feet.
"I'm trying. It's hard." Even unintentionally, he sounded perverted.
Madoka ignored the redhead behind her, and wept silently over the loss of her brother-in-law, who had at least tried to be there for her, unlike Kiyotaka, who, until recently, had abandoned her without so much as a warning.
"He's gone. I can't believe it." Rio murmured quietly, as she stood beneath Eyes' umbrella, sheltered from the rain. She turned her face to the sky that was as grey as her eyes, and their hearts. "Ayumu…"
"Ayumu influenced some lives more than others, and his death was, tragically, premature. He will be missed by all of us, I'm certain." Kiyotaka concluded, looking out into the small crowd that had bothered to gather, despite their schedules and horrible weather conditions, in respects for his younger brother; and took notice that the one responsible for his brother's death was absent.
Kanone sighed for what seemed like the umpteenth time. In all honesty, he had lost count, and it seemed absurd to keep track of something like that but at the moment, it seemed like a constructive way to pass the time. Of course, when depression hit, anything seemed constructive. He let his mind wander, drifting along certain topics as he himself drifted amongst the last minute holiday shoppers that lined the sidewalks. He was home, but it felt different. The months he had spent in Japan had taken its toll on him, changed him. No, it had been Ayumu who changed him, and he knew that by killing him, he had taken away something much more vital than the Blade Children's "hope".
He had taken away his love, his light, his life. The very boy he sought to exterminate so long ago, he sought to protect with all he had.
"Death is a natural providence. It is not something to be feared. It's just…it's painful…being alone."
Wash away the thoughts inside
That keeps my mind away from you
And thoughts are all I have to do
A hint of a frown pulled briefly at the corner of Kanone's lips as he remembered the words he had spoken to Madoka so long ago. It seemed like forever since the final battle in the warehouse had taken place; the battle between him and young Narumi, the boy he had grown to love. To cherish even moreso than his own cursed existence. The boy who had been labeled as a "false hope" by Kanone's own mouth had ironically come to place an immeasurable amount of trust in him, and knew that Kanone would never betray him. In the end though, it was Ayumu that ended up betraying Kanone in his most crucial time of need, to choose a life with Kiyotaka, instead of with him.
"Madoka?" Ayumu whispered, brown eyes widening even more, "What's...what are you doing?"
"I'm sorry." she said, avoiding eye contact, "I've made my decision." She risked a glance up at him, "It's not too late, you can still come with us." she offered suddenly, throwing everyone off. Kiyotaka said nothing, but cursed her for giving him the option. He was supposed to fall with the other Blade Children, he was supposed to be dead to her. Then again, he supposed that was never truly meant to be.
Kanone watched Ayumu's movements, and grabbed his hand, encouraging him to stay strong, "Please...don't hesitate." he begged, "Don't leave me. Don't hurt me, Ayumu."
"Make your choice now that you really know the players." Kiyotaka said, forcing him to choose.
Kanone watched the uncertainty in his lover's eyes, and felt a sick feeling swelling up inside him. He saw then that Ayumu was indeed going to make his choice, but it was going to be the wrong one. Ayumu's hand slowly started to slip from his own as the brunette moved towards his brother and sister-in-law, "Don't." he whispered, "Don't leave me."
"I..." Ayumu trailed off, looking from Madoka to Kanone, "I can't..." He shook his head, "I can't do this. I'm sorry, I thought I could, but..."
Kanone nodded, gripping Ayumu's hand tightly, "I understand." he said, swallowing back his tears. He had expected this to happen, had even planned on it. After everything was said and done, Ayumu had betrayed him, hurt him, left him; he had decieved him. A small gasp left Ayumu's mouth as his brown eyes widened in pain more than anything, perhaps a little shock. Tears fell from Kanone's eyes as he pulled the knife from his lover's back and watched him fall to his knees, "I understand perfectly." he whispered, kneeling down in front of Ayumu and placing a kiss on his already-cold lips, "I love you."
Brown eyes started to glaze over as the younger boy's vision blurred, "What..." he managed to gasp out, but instead used his breath for breathing rather than speaking.
"I won't lose you, not to anyone, and especially not to Kiyotaka." Kanone told him. He stood up, and glanced to Eyes, who wore a face of pure shock and horror under his stoic mask. No one would be able to tell, but Kanone could; Eyes hadn't planned on this outcome at all, hadn't even considered the possibility. Kanone turned to leave, whispering a small 'forgive me'.
Of course, with the people he was surrounded by, that wasn't so easy, "You bastard!" came Madoka's shrieking voice, but her shouts soon dissolved into sobs as she leaned into Kiyotaka. The latter stared at his brother's now-lifeless corpse with an emotionless facade. He had meant for Ayumu to be dead to them, and though he hadn't meant it quite so literally, perhaps it was for the best.
"Kanone?" came the next voice, belonging to none other than a very hurt Rio. She looked up at the older Blade Child with watery eyes, "How could you...why..." she couldn't seem to finish any of her sentences, but everyone got her meaning. Kousuke and Ryoko remained silent, each lost in their thoughts of depression and disbelief. How could he have done that? He loved Ayumu, he was unbelievably dedicated to him, so how could he do something like that? Polaris sighed and shook her head. Of course she had known this was going to happen, but it still surprised and saddened her that Kanone had gone through with it. Though, when she really thought about it, it would be very out of character for Kanone to do such a thing as half-ass or not carry out a plan he had spent time and energy, not to mention emotional damage in this case, into scheming. Seeing Ayumu's dead body lying on the ground, though, she couldn't help but have to force back the tears.
End Flashback
He had absolutely nothing to return to, nothing to look forward to. He had killed his only happiness and for the moment, he didn't regret an ounce of it. Knew he should. But in those few minutes of reflection, he felt nothing. It had been Ayumu's choice to betray him, after all. He should've known that his betrayal would come with consequences, no matter how dire. 'Perhaps it's better to be a bloodless, tearless demon when I face my destiny.' He pondered, recalling Eyes' words and embracing the same concept. 'I have nothing else to lose. Nothing more to give up.'
Remember when it rained?
Felt the ground and looked up high and called your name
Remember when it rained?
In the darkness I remain.
An azure-eyed figure glanced to the sky, taking in the vivid, fiery hues that colored the wide canvas. "It's breathtaking, isn't it?" the soft, accented voice questioned the brunette, who walked in silence alongside his twin brother.
"It's just a sunset. There's nothing special about it." Kanone replied bitterly, unaware of his sour tone, but fully aware of the cold temperature that blanketed itself over the entire city, making his breath come out as puffs of smoke. Ayumu always enjoyed the sunsets, Kanone remembered. Often, after they made love, the younger boy would snuggle up to Kanone and gaze out at the painted canvas while it lasted.
His brother laughed. He was a boy that resembled Kanone perfectly, save for his crabby attitude.
Blue orbs widened slightly at the comment, and most of all, at the indifferent attitude, and Polaris landed a punch to Kanone's arm. "You're a cold, insensitive jerk, you know that?"
"I concur." The younger brunette commented, smiling to his sulking sibling.
"See, Kalelle agrees with me!" The girl stated.
"Kalelle agrees to almost everything." Kanone mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets, as he trudged along the sidewalk.
"What's wrong, brother? You don't seem like yourself." Kalelle questioned, growing slightly concerned. He had learned since early childhood that that was never a good thing.
"Nothing. I'm fine." Kanone replied in response to his twin. His tone was far colder than he would have liked, and he cursed himself for not having complete control, as he usually did, but his thoughts had settled on something far more important at the moment.
"Liar."
"Piss off." The older boy grunted. "Let's just get home before I catch a cold, which is the last thing I need."
"Oh, you're no fun. Can't we go shopping for Christmas presents?" his sibling frowned, pulling persistently on Kanone's arm when a display in a store window grabbed his attention.
"That sounds like fun." Polaris piped up. "We should-"
"No." Kanone said quickly, then turned his attention to his brother. "Let go of me, Kalelle. I mean it. I want to get out of this hellish weather. I'm freezing, and it certainly doesn't help to know that you stole my gloves and scarf."
"I'm sorry." The younger brunette apologized quickly, deciding to wrap his arms around Kanone's torso and put his weight on the older boy's back, in attempt to warm him up. "Cozy now, Nii-sama?" he purred, almost childishly.
"No! Quit it! Get off of me, would you?" The aggravated boy growled, shoving his twin away and glaring at him with an intense ferocity.
"Ok, Mr. Scrooge." Kalelle rolled his eyes at the sour attitude Kanone shoved in his face. "You're such a jerk around the holidays, you know that?"
"I'm aware of it, yes. Thank you for informing me."
Polaris chewed on her bottom lip, deciding to stay out of it, lest their argument heated up. She gave a reassuring glance to Kalelle, and smiled before she stopped in her tracks. She knew that somehow, they'd work things out on their own, and that her interference would at best, be more of a burden. She noticed Kalelle turn his head and smile back at her, silently thanking her. Then she turned and headed on her way home, to tend to her own problems.
The two walked the rest of the way home in silence, save for the soft crunching of snow beneath their shoes. Every so often, Kalelle would cast a worried glance to the brooding brunette beside him, and wonder just what had turned his once kind brother sour.
As the brothers entered their home, Kanone shrugged off his coat and hung it on the back of the couch, paying no attention to his younger brother at all. With a few quick strides, he walked to his bedroom and closed the door, leaving Kalelle to his own devices in the living room.
"Merry Christmas indeed." The morose, amber-eyed boy said quietly, tearing his gaze away from Kanone's door and turning to his own room that lie adjacent to his brother's. His scarf was thrown off and dropped to the floor, along with his coat, and the troubled teen threw himself onto his bed with an exasperated sigh. He could hear Kanone turn his stereo on through the wall, and desperately wished that he'd scrutinize his problems, instead of ignoring them. 'If only Ayumu were here, then maybe…' Kalelle sighed. "He's so difficult…" he realized, wondering if there was even a drop of hope for his brother.
"Madoka looked so lackadaisical. It seems little Narumi's quietus cut deep, not just in her, but in all of us. It's just not the same without him." Ryoko commented as Eyes offered her a drink. She politely declined and cast a troubled glance to Rio, who had been silent since they returned to Rutherford's penthouse suite, Even when offered a melon, her spirits never elevated, as they usually did. "It must be especially difficult for Rio. She believed in Narumi's strength; in his abilities more than any of us, and never gave up believing in him." She commented.
"Yes." Eyes spoke, watching the once spirited girl stare out of the nearest window, as if she were planning on jumping out if it, just to consummate the pain that seized her and threw her into the never-ending darkness of depression and guilt. "It must be awful," he spoke. "to know that the one thing you placed your hope and trust in…that one dim light of hope…has been snuffed out, never to return."
Ryoko suspected that the pianist was referring to Kanone in some way, and that his betrayal was just as sombrous as Narumi's death was to Rio.
"And Kousuke…?" Hiyono piped up, fed up with the dreary mood that had snuck into the room. Her head turned to look at said redhead, only to find him rummaging through Rutherford's fridge in search of a snack.
"Is still a complete moron…" Ryoko concluded with a slight frown.
"It's good to know that some things haven't changed." The blonde smiled.
"But something is changing…" Rio whispered, getting the odd feeling that Ayumu's death paved the way to something unforeseen and yet, ominous, looming on the distant horizon. "What is it?" she asked herself aloud, hoping to silence the voices in her head that urged her to be on guard.
"Who knows?" Ryoko answered. "Whatever it is, we'll probably be caught up in it, just like we were caught up in this spiraling, cursed existence."
"You're lucky." The voice of Hizumi Mizutsuro interjected.
Crimson orbs peered to the mint-haired urchin; skeptical. Questioning. "Lucky? Have you lost your mind?"
"I will, soon enough…" the boy said quietly, as he occupied himself with a Rubix cube. "Just like…" he hesitated, unsure if he should continue.
A row of red blocks turned.
A/N: Alright. The thing with the Rubix cube…definitely has a meaning; which I'm wondering if you all can figure out. Perhaps it's too early to know the importance of it right off the bat. (looks at audience) But I'll give a basket of cookies to anyone who can guess its meaning in this fic…Go on, give it a try. (looks at Hizumi) Hurry up and get baking!
Hizumi: (growls) You're lucky I like you….(mixes batter)
Rio: Aww, look at him in his little apron! …And some of his hair coated in cookie dough….He's so cute! (takes a picture)
Hizumi: Bite me. Just for that…no cookies for you!
Rio: I don't care…I get melons from Eyes!
Kousuke: …..If you really think about it, that sounds kinda dirty……