Title: Certainty

Summary: After a routine mission goes horribly wrong, Ford is left wondering if the existence he has come to know, is the real one. Unsure of who to trust, Aiden must try and remember what went wrong or face the reality that he made it all up. (Ford fic)

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Stargate Atlantis nor any of its chief or secondary characters.

A/N: I've been kicking this idea around for awhile and there just doesn't seem to be enough Ford stories out there so I made him the main focus of this one. I just hope I don't drive him mad with it----enjoy!

Chapter One

The last thing Aiden Ford remembered was sitting in the passenger seat of a puddle jumper, ready to pass through the Stargate. He had woken up that morning, feeling great. Showered, shaved and dressed before eight and summoned to the briefing room before a quarter after nine. He remembered McKay had offered him a coffee, and he refused, opting to rely on his own energy. Sheppard was late to the meeting as usual, only by a few minutes but still, Ford recalled Dr. Weir getting a little ticked. Teyla, was her usual bright self, eager to start a delegation.

Weir went over the evaluation from the probe sent through the gate. Aiden remembered everything was clear, readings were good, air was breathable and it even looked as there was a lone city amidst a sea of desert. Contact had been made with that city, Weir herself spoke to a man named Pran, claming he was a Mar'han. Teyla explained it was a type of chieftain, almost like a governor to the city. He expressed his wishes on meeting with Dr. Weir personally and she had agreed.

They all had decided on standard protocol, use of a puddle jumper, proceed with friendly caution. McKay would stay behind, accentually putting him in charge while Weir was away, Sheppard, Teyla and Ford himself would accompany her.

Just like any other day Aiden thought back, just like yesterday, and the day before that. He remembered the go ahead from McKay, he wished them luck, Sheppard had cracked a joke about needing it where they were going, McKay over the intercom made a comment not to forget the sunscreen as they passed through the event-horizon.

Typical.

Ford felt that all too familiar buzz, that tingle a person had when their particles were blasted apart then placed quickly back together. He could liken it to the chilled burning one felt when their leg was beginning to wake up after falling asleep, the cold rush before the pins and needles feeling. He remembered closing his eyes, like he always did. It really didn't matter if he did or not, but, Aiden considered going through the Stargate like jumping into the ocean, it was comforting to close them, protect them from the water that wasn't really there.

When he opened them back up, Ford didn't see a desert, he didn't see a city in the far distance surrounding by hazy hot clouds, he saw the ceiling of the gate room. Blinking, Aiden shifted his gaze reconfirming he was back in Atlantis as the edge of the Stargate came into his view.

The world seemed to flow in slow motion as suddenly from all around people gathered. Ford recognized one face being that of Dr. Beckett slowly kneeling down beside him, talking to him yet Aiden couldn't make out the man's Scottish brogue, as if Carson's lips moved and no words came out. Ford tried to move, tried to sit himself up when the doctor pushed him gently back down with a hand to his shoulder, telling him to relax.

Aiden had heard that, the order to relax, sounds seeming to wash back over his ears suddenly, bringing the world back into order as everything around him quickened its pace, becoming normal.

"How do you feel Lieutenant?" Beckett shined a small light in Ford's eyes making him wince against it.

"F-fine, I guess." Ford's voice sounded distant to him, when he realized he was whispering. Clearing his throat. "Where, where's everybody else?" After the initial aftershock of waking up back in the gate room on his back, Ford turned his focus on his teammates, wondering if they were alright. He thought maybe they might be laying the gate room floor like he was.

"Everybody else?" Beckett asked, checking Aiden's pulse. The young Lieutenant now noticed the concern on the doctor's face, less that there was something physically wrong with Ford, more with what he had just said.

Before Aiden could reply McKay came racing up from somewhere to the left looking Ford over before his spoke, sounding disquietingly serious. Ford knew that when Rodney talked that way, it usually meant that something really bad had happened. He prayed then Sheppard and Weir and Teyla they were alright, knowing there was something both Beckett and McKay weren't telling him.

"Good, you're awake." Rodney frowned though he seemed relieved.

"Where's everyone else? Are, are they hurt what's going on?" Ford began to sit up again, Carson sighed, letting him.

"He keeps talking about others, I guess he doesn't know they're back?." Beckett said briefly up to McKay before he turned his attention back to Ford who seemed deeply confused. "They came back without you Lieutenant, you've been gone for three days and suddenly you were here, just lying here. Do you remember anything that happened?"

Ford strained his mind trying to remember, it seemed like a flash, one minute they were leaving, the next he was back. Where did it all go wrong, why couldn't he just remember? "I—I don't know, where's the Major maybe he knows what happened to me" Yes, Ford thought, John would know, he'd have an explanation. Maybe it was the Wraith, maybe they were attacked and he was captured. A whole new set of worries crossed Aiden's mind then-----if it where the Wraith, what in the hell did they do to him. He felt fine, like himself, just tired.

"Major Lewis?, he's over in the infirmary, they were about to dial the planet again and go look for you, then you just showed up." McKay cut in, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Lewis? No, no I mean Major Sheppard." Ford replied hastily, looking around the gate room for any sign of John, in fact he didn't see any sign of either Teyla or Dr. Weir for that matter.

Carson grimaced gently, seeming to be unsure of what to say. Ford noticed that he and McKay kept shooting each other worried glances, as Rodney shuffled awkwardly where he stood.

"Ah, are you sure he's alright?" McKay asked Beckett, scratching the top of his head. " Lieutenant if you need a few days rest, that's fine, I mean you've obviously been through quite an ordeal."

"I'm fine Dr. McKay." Aiden said heatedly, wishing someone would cut the crap and tell him what was going on, what happened to Weir and the others. "Listen if someone's hurt or missing like I was, I want to know. I feel fine so I'm up for any rescue mission you've got planed."

"Aiden---"Beckett said softly shaking his head. "There's no need for any rescue mission. Everyone's safe. We were really more focus on finding you, and now you're here, thankfully in one piece."

Ford looked to both men, glanced around to every medical technician and other various members of the Atlantis team, they all seemed to look at him as if trying to hide that what he said, sounded wrong to them. "I want to talk to Major Sheppard." At hearing the name, Beckett looked slowly up towards McKay.

"Listen! If someone doesn't tell me what the hell is going on---"

"Now, now. Don't get all flustered I'm sure, there's a reasonable explanation for all this, right Dr. McKay?"

Rodney shifted his eyes back and forth from Carson to Ford before he spoke up, clearing his throat and nodding quickly. "I—ah, think you just might need some rest, I'm ordering you on sick leave Lieutenant."

Ford shot the physicist a hot glare, unable to speak at first. "Order? No offence doctor, but since when are you giving orders, where's Dr. Weir?"

McKay seemed to glare right back at Aiden, tensing up his face before he replied sharper then he meant it to sound. "Since, I am, in charge after all, Lieutenant."

"Please Aiden, let's get you to the infirmary." Beckett stood up then, reaching down to help the Lieutenant to his feet. Ford felt a little shaky about standing but nothing as much as the feeling of total confusion and disbelief he had crippling his mind. Was it all that bad that McKay and Beckett thought keeping the truth from him would be better? "Something happened to him didn't it, something's happened to the Major." Ford walked towards McKay pulling away from Carson's attempts to lure him back to the infirmary. "What is it you're not telling me McKay, and where's Dr. Weir, where is everyone?"

"Lieutenant, I know things might seem, confusing, but I want you to go with Dr. Beckett, there's a bed waiting for you and everything. Now, I don't want to have to use force." Rodney began in a slight hush ending firmly before he was quickly cut off by a now irate Aiden.

"Force?! You don't have authority to do that doctor, only Weir does and she put you in charge for this one mission only, now where the hell is she?!"

"Aiden, please." Carson begged softly from behind him, and tried to tug on his arm, only Ford pulled away from him and shouted harshly. "Get, you're hands off me! If this is some kind of joke McKay, it's so not funny anymore! I want to talk to Dr. Weir and I want to talk to her NOW!"

"Perhaps you'd feel better after you had a little conversation with Major Lewis"

"Lewis?! The last time I checked, I was under direct command of Major Sheppard. Now either tell me what is going on, or I'll find out myself!" Inches away, McKay seemed to draw back slightly, afraid that the Lieutenant might stop shouting in his face and deck him any moment.

Aiden waited, seeing the physicist cower slightly. Why wouldn't anyone tell him what was happening? He needed answers and he needed them fast. He knew McKay really wasn't the one to keep stuff from anyone. If the physicist had something to say, Rodney had no problem letting loose and saying it even in the most cases where it was snotty. But ultimately, McKay spoke the truth.

Ford simply stood there, flabbergasted after a long and awkward stretch of silence. "I---I can't believe you, I can't believe any of this!" He motioned to the gate room. "Something is seriously wrong here Dr. McKay, and I want to talk, to Dr. Elizabeth Weir, do you understand me?!" Aiden emphasized every word he said.

Ford watched carefully as Rodney's eyes shifted over the Lieutenant's shoulder. Suddenly Aiden felt a sharp prick in his arm, turning quickly with a slight snarl he saw Beckett holding a freshly depressed syringe. Ford's expression shifted from surprise to distress, almost saying 'how could you' to Carson who shook his head, looking down right guilty for doing it. Aiden's eyes fluttered, rolling up into his head as his knees gave way sending him downwards once more.

Several med-techs including Beckett caught the Lieutenant and lifted him up onto a nearby gurney. The doctor pulled up one of Ford's eyelids and checked his pupil's reaction, sighing then in both relief and gloom. He turned to McKay who looked just as culpable as he did. "We shouldn't have done that." Carson said uneasily placing Aiden's hands by his sides after checking his pulse. "He wasn't going to harm anyone, It's Ford we're talking about here."

Rodney interjected. "He's unstable, you saw it as well as I did. Whatever happened to him, well…" McKay faltered, giving everyone who wasn't a medical person the evil eye, expecting them to stop rubbernecking and get back to work, at least for Ford's sake.

"Mild psychosis, perhaps trauma from whatever he went through. Either way I'll keep a close eye on him. I just wish we didn't have to sedate him." Beckett muttered, glancing towards the unconscious Ford as his assistants began to wheel the young Lieutenant away towards the infirmary.

"Do you think he's dangerous?" McKay asked finally, cutting to the chase for the information he was after.

Beckett gazed to him harshly, shaking his head. "Ford? No. He's just confused right now, give him time to readjust, he'll remember soon enough."

"Well I hope so, not only for Ford's sake, but ours as well. This mission is too important."

Clearing his throat, McKay tried his best at reasoning with the overly passionate doctor who was now glaring at him, thinking the physicist was only out for his needs "It means, that I can't have an unbalanced member on this mission doctor. And if he is, what am I suppose to do? Send him home? I wish it were that easy."

Beckett simply stared at him, disapprovingly. McKay's tone lightened, he wasn't a cold hearted man, it was just business was business.

"I like Ford, I, look on him as a friend and he's a good solider, one of our best and I'm worried just as much as you are. But I can't have him running around making ludicrous claims. If rest is what he needs, then he'll get it, and if it doesn't get better---"

Carson simply turned from him, opting to concentrate on curing Aiden then lecturing McKay on teamwork and human decency. He followed the fleeting image of Ford laid out on the gurney, as everyone around them seemed to go back about their business.

McKay crossed his arms once more, worrying about Aiden's dependability, wondering if perhaps they've been in fact compromised but his sudden and unexplained reappearance. Rodney decided he would have to keep a close eye on the young Lieutenant as well, among all the other billion things he had to do. As McKay walked back up the main staircase to the gate control room he mumbled to himself, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Who in the hell, is Dr. Elizabeth Weir?"

A/N: DUN DUN DUN!!! Please tell me what you guys think.