Title: Tony: Bert Version 2
Author: caz251
Fandom: NCIS
Rating: Pg
Character/Pairing: Tony Dinnozzo, Abby Sciuto and mentions of Bert the Farting Hippopotamus
Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS.
Summary: Tony has agreed to replace Bert while he is being repaired.
AN: Written as a comment_fic
He had said that he would be her replacement, he had damaged Bert so while he was being fixed he would take his place. She knew that he hadn't thought his offer through properly, but there was no way that she wasn't going to take advantage of it, especially as he had offered to do everything with her that she did with Bert. What Tony wasn't aware of was that on the last weekend of the month she would take Bert home with her, to put him through his normal routine before bringing him back on the Monday morning. Tony had no idea what he had signed up to do, but there was no way that she would let him out of it, he had hurt Bert after all.
She had taken Tony home with her, then forced him into the bath, telling him that she let Bert soak in hot water for an hour when she got home to get any dirt from her lab out of him. She had spent the hour that Tony sat in her bath laughing to herself about what she could put Tony through in punishment for what he had done to Bert. Once the hour was up she told him to take a shower before making him sit in front of the radiator to dry, she had taken pity on him and had allowed him a towel to cover his bottom half, but that was it.
She couldn't keep the charade up for long, as much as it was a just form of punishment, it felt wrong to use Tony as a footstool because he dried quicker than Bert had and she needed something to keep him occupied. Instead they spent the rest of the evening talking before they went to her coffin, as much as she had let him of the hook on many things, this was the one weekend a month that she had scheduled to allow herself to cuddle. It was his own fault, it would have been Bert in his place, but Tony would just have to do. She hugged him close, only for him to fart, she let out a small laugh, maybe Tony was the perfect replacement for Bert after all, he was certainly more realistic.