April 29, 1998
It felt like something out of a nightmare.
The sound of his wife's cries echoed inside his head as Remus held tightly to her hand. He barely registered the instructions currently being shouted out by Andromeda and the midwitch as Dora let out another guttural cry. For the first time since returning to her, he felt completely and utterly powerless.
Andromeda was watching with a slightly worried expression, glancing away as she met Remus's eyes. His grip on Dora's hand tightened.
"Almost there," said the midwitch. "One more push…"
Dora let out one last cry, squeezing Remus's hand so tightly he thought it might cut off his circulation. He squeezed back, keeping his eyes on her for as long as possible, feeling as though he were falling over the edge of a cliff. He had no idea what to do, no idea what might happen. I'm not ready,he thought as he watched the midwitch lean in out of the corner of his eye. I'm not ready. It can't happen yet; it's happening too fast; the war's not over yet; I'm not ready…
His thoughts were cut short by a shrill squalling that seemed to pierce his very soul, and Remus and Dora both looked up to see their son for the first time; a little black-haired baby, screaming and perfect and real.
All at once, Remus couldn't imagine a world in which they could be separated. All the worries coursing through him only a minute ago seemed to have evaporated on the spot; the man who had run away like a coward nearly nine months ago was a completely different person. Nothing from the past seemed to matter anymore as he watched Dora hold their baby, her eyes shining with the softest of love. Then-
"Mum! His hair!"
Sure enough, the baby's hair was changing color. Remus nearly laughed in relief as he watched the hair shift from pitch black to a dark brown. The baby wouldn't be a werewolf; he was sure of that now. The baby would be just like his mum. Of course he would. He was perfect.
"I think it's time for you to meet Daddy now," he heard Dora whisper.
All of a sudden, the terror he'd been feeling for the past nine months returned. What if he dropped him? What if he started crying again? What if any number of things went wrong and he learned that he wasn't fit to be a father, just like he'd always suspected?
But then his son was in his arms, and the world stopped moving.
Remus couldn't tell if the moment lasted for a few seconds or a thousand years as his gaze narrowed in on his son. The soft eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, the tiniest nose and lips, the squirming arms and legs, and the little swirl of hair that was now changing to a warm, sandy brown not unlike Remus's own hair color.
Remus was trembling for a different reason now, a feeling so powerful he couldn't even describe it, a happiness greater than any he'd ever felt before. He felt a wetness prickling at the corner of his eyes as he gently stroked his son's cheek with his finger. He could feel his face begin to ache from smiling when suddenly, the baby's eyelids moved, and Remus was gazing into his son's eyes for the very first time.
"Hey there," he whispered, unable to look away.
The baby's eyes were so big and dark and gazed up at him with such intense wonder that Remus nearly laughed in delight.
"Hey there," he whispered again, his face now barely an inch away from his son's. "Look at you…"
The wave of love washing over him left him lost and spinning and grounded all at once, giddy with pure joy that made him want to dance and shout from the rooftops, bound with the knowledge that he would, without hesitation, do absolutely anything for this child. Anything at all.
"Have you decided on a name yet?"
Remus looked up at Andromeda to find her gazing at him with a soft smile.
"Edward," he said. "After Ted. It wouldn't seem right to name him anything else."
"Edward Remus," added Dora, smiling at him.
Andromeda rose quickly and went to embrace her daughter, whispering something that Remus couldn't quite make out. It must have been positive though, because Dora smiled and hugged her mother back. Then Andromeda turned to Remus.
"May I hold him?" she asked.
Remus handed the baby over, albeit somewhat reluctantly.
"You know," she said after a few moments of holding him, "I think Edward is a bit formal. That's why Ted- "
She swallowed thickly and rocked her grandson. When she rose to bring him back to Dora, Remus knew she wasn't going to finish her sentence.
"You think he should have a nickname?" asked Dora. "I don't know about Ted; I think it would remind you too much of dad, and I don't like Ed or Eddy either…"
"What about Teddy?" said Remus. "It's close enough to Ted, but still unique…"
"Teddy," repeated Dora, smiling down at the baby. "Teddy Lupin. It's perfect."
Everything is perfect, thought Remus as he went to put his arm around Dora. Nothing will ever be more perfect.
Andromeda came to stand on Dora's other side as they all watched as little Teddy's fists waved in front of his slightly reddening hair. A perfect, impenetrable happiness seemed to surround the entire house, making the war outside seem like an insignificant memory. Remus kissed Teddy's forehead, letting a wave of golden bliss envelop him, and he knew that while things would never be quite the same again, they were, without a doubt, changing for the better.
