This was written simply becuase I was bored, and could think of absolutely nothing else to do. Don't ask. My house is the headquarters of boredom.
It took me a little over three seconds to think of the idea for this. I hate chain letters. With a fiery, burning passion. So, I decided to make fun of them. Hah. Take that, chain letters.
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Naruto stared at the computer screen in horror. This was really it. This is how he was going to die.
NARUTO AND THE CHAIN LETTER
"Now that you have opened this, you will die within the next three minutes if you do not send this to 30 people in that time frame."
The chain letter was menacing, and had Naruto completely frightened. The exorbitant amount of people that he had to send the chain to only scared him more. He couldn't think of 30 people that he wanted to burden with it. They might not pass it on enough in time either, and then he would be responsible for a good friend's death. (He sent one on to Gaara and Orochimaru for good measure.)
But other than that, he was out of options. There was only one thing he could do:
"Omigod, omigod, omigod, I'm gonna die!"
Yes, all he could do was run around his house screaming at the top of his lungs.
"Sasuke, Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, pouncing on the raven as he entered the room looking very annoyed. "I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!"
"Yeah, I heard. Who's killing you?"
Naruto pointed a shaky finger at the computer.
"The computer?"
"There's a chain letter that says I'll die if I don't pass the letter on!"
"Then pass it on."
"But I can't do that!"
"Well, I'm sorry. I'll miss you."
"Oh, I'll miss you too, Sasuke!" Naruto cried, throwing his arms around Sasuke's neck. "You were always a great teammate! I was just jealous that Sakura-chan liked you!"
"How long do you have to live?"
"The chain said three minutes... but... it's... it's... only ten seconds now!"
Naruto whined in despair, hugging Sasuke tightly, counting down to ten. He said one in a quivering voice, and fell to the floor.
Sasuke looked at Naruto somewhat anxiously.
"Am... am I dead, Sasuke?"
"Yes, dobe, that's why I'm talking to you."
"I'm alive?" Naruto jumped to his feet. "I'm ALIVE!"
Sasuke sighed. "Of course you are, stupid, chain letters aren't real."
"You... you knew that all along?"
"Uh... yeah."
Naruto strode to his computer, fuming, and tossed it out the window. And he learned to never open another chain letter again.
Gaara and Orochimaru's mysterious deaths were never solved.
OWARI
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A/N: Boo to chain letters!
Gaara: Hah. I cannot be killed by some weak force such as a chain letter.
Orochimaru: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Now I will never master those forbidden jutsu?! Curse you, oh evil chain letter!
Me: See? Chain letters are bad.
Neji: My Byakugan will kill the chain letters!
Me: Neji, you're not even in this story.
Rock Lee: The power of youth will dominate the chain letters!
Me: You're not either, Lee.
Neji: My Byakugan could still pwn the chain letters!
Me: I bet they could. Please review, everyone, to shut Neji up.