Title: My April Fool
Characters/Pairings: JD, The Janitor, Dr. Kelso, and Dr. Cox/JDJanitor
Rating: T
Description: On April Fool's Day in the Sacred Heart Hospital, anything could happen: especially with the Janitor there.
JD felt his nerves tighten as he stood at the entrance of the teaching hospital. Today was April fool's Day, and he was just not ready to have pranks pulled on him all day by who knows whom. He had a sneaking suspicion that it would mostly be the Janitor who would pull these said pranks. Normal days hadn't stopped him before so JD couldn't imagine what the Janitor would do when it was ok to pull pranks!
But this was a hospital; he couldn't just mess with people (especially doctors)! That would endanger the patients!
JD sighed in relief. Maybe today would just be like any other day?
So he stepped into the hospital, confident that today wasn't going to be such a bad day.
"Heads up!"
The doctor was whacked in the head by the end of a broom and fell over backwards and onto the ground roughly.
The gray jumpsuit-wearing janitor knelt over him and blinked several times, "I said heads up," He poked JD in the head a couple times with the broom and than stood up, "See ya, Scooter." and walked away.
---
The rest of the day had gone kind of like that. Tripping, hitting with cleaning materials, and stealing his stethoscope every chance he could get. JD had even found himself hanging from a flagpole by his underwear!
So when Turk and several of his surgical buddies had gotten him down from his embarrassing hang, JD had to confront the janitor about his 'bullying' problem because it was getting really, really annoying.
"Jumpsuit!" Doctor Dorian yelled at the mopping janitor.
"How may I serve you, Master Dorian?" The janitor rang in a deep voice (imitating Lurch).
"Yeah! Why do you keep on pulling pranks on me?" JD asked in an angry tone.
The Janitor scoffed, "I don't just pull them on you," He said in annoyance, "I also pulled some on Dr. Kelso and the Mean Doctor you always follow." He shoved a thumb to the side.
And sure enough, both Dr. Kelso and Dr. Cox were standing where the janitor pointed. Dr. Kelso waved and faked a happy smile as JD looked over at him, completely oblivious of the word 'LOSER' written on his forehead and a fake mustache scribbled on his upper lip with a matching goatee.
"Don't tell me!" JD asked, holding his breath.
The janitor pulled out a large black marker, "Yup, an indelible space pen!" He said happily.
JD slapped his forehead and felt his stomach muscles tighten.
He looked back at Dr. Cox but could see nothing wrong with his mentor.
"What did you do to Doctor Cox?" JD asked worriedly.
Janitor blinked and wiped something off his jumpsuit absently, "Nothing much," He checked his watch, "Even though that'll change really soon."
Dr. Cox stopped in mid rant as he heard his stomach growl dangerously. He held his aching stomach and rushed to the bathroom.
He laughed, "Laxatives."
"You're a mean man," JD told the older but couldn't help but crack a smile as he looked back at Dr. Kelso, "But a funny one."
"Thank you." The janitor muttered. He made a little face, almost like a serious pout that made JD laugh a little to himself.
JD heard the janitor clear his throat and looked up at him, "What?" He asked, expecting another one of the older man's pranks to get him.
"Would you like to go to dinner with me?"
"No!" He yelled, not really thinking.
"Well, me and my wife were going to go to a fancy restaurant with my brother-in-law, but he bailed on us and now we have an extra seat open. I paid good money to get reservations, and I was just trying to be nice to you. But," He started his inferior-complex, "I guess you'd hate to be seen with a lowly janitor like me."
JD felt the regret and guilt build in the base of his stomach and finally figured that he couldn't say no, "Sure,"
The janitor smiled, "Glad to hear it! The restaurant is called The Country Club and it's on 34 Maple Street, meet us there at eight o'clock."
---
When JD had arrived to the building on Maple Street at eight-five, he wasn't actually expecting a big fancy restaurant named The Country Club to be there, but it actually was!
The building was made from a stark red brick and had VIP parking and all the other little meaningless things fancy restaurants had.
As JD peered through the large front window he spotted the janitor dressed in a nice gray suit sitting alone at one of the tables within the restaurant.
He was not lying, kind of.
JD entered The Country Club and was confronted by a butler like employee.
"What may I do for you, my fine sir?" He asked.
"Yeah, I'm with that guy." JD pointed to the janitor.
The butler guy grinned a fake grin, "Of course, follow me." He escorted JD over to the janitor's table.
"So you weren't lying to me." JD said to the janitor.
"Of course not, but sadly my wife could not make it for she is deathly afraid of people seeing her pointer and her thumb/pinky." The janitor told him, eyes pointed towards the table.
JD blinked and tilted his head. What was the janitor doing?
"So, why did you become a doctor?" The janitor asked, obviously trying to start a conversation.
"Well, it all started when…"
---
The night had gone relatively well, minus the fact that JD was having a nice dinner with the man that made most of his life in the Sacred Heart Hospital a living hell.
They both had steak and alcohol! JD had his appletinis while Janitor had his beer (even though it was the fancy beer not the normal one he came to love) and everything seemed right for once.
Slightly drunk (just slightly), the Janitor started to talk, "Dorian, I didn't know you could handle vodka… Huh!"
"Sure can!" JD gloated, drunk.
"Mmhmm," The janitor muttered, "Waiter! Bill!" Janitor called and almost fell out of his chair.
The butler guy came to their table and placed down the bill, looking very unpleased.
---
With the money paid and the two men now drunk in public, JD knew that the police would probably join them sometime that night. But that was just a gut feeling.
"Looks like I can't ride Sasha home today." JD said sullenly as he looked down at his blue scooter. He grabbed the handles and started to wheel her home.
The janitor frowned as he sat down at the wheel of his van. "Ok, you can do this. You can do this!" He told himself.
JD, hearing the janitor, walked over to the van and knocked on the window. "Hay, you want to get a cab instead?" He called.
Getting out of the van, he nodded in a dumb manner, probably trying to make him feel bad for being so blunt with him, and followed after the doctor.
JD flagged a taxi and they both got in.
The janitor told the cab driver where he lived and JD told him where he lived after.
---
"See you tomorrow, Scooter!" The janitor said to JD. He absently heard the taxi screech away but paid no mind that his ride just drove away.
"Jumpsuit, the cab just drove away…" JD said bluntly.
"Scooter, you shouldn't talk to me like that. You are the one living on a deck filled with gay old men." He sniggered to himself as he watched the old couples party on JD's deck.
"They party like it's 1999 again." JD said in a dazed voice.
The janitor gave the doctor a strange look, "I honestly don't want to know what you are thinking…" He mumbled.
"Bob," JD called to one of the old men, "Get me a appletini for me and my friend!"
The old man looked at JD and than to the Janitor and smiled, "You should have told us about him earlier." The old man said happily.
"Hay, it's not that kind of friend." JD said to him, slightly flustered.
The janitor nodded along with what he said and walked up onto the deck and sat down on the rail. "Instead of an appletini, how 'bout a beer or you could just give me the vodka straight up. I'm not much of an apple fan."
"JD, he's a rough man! I didn't know you liked rough men!" One of the gay men whooped happily.
"Fred, I told you already. I'm straight—!"
The janitor tackled JD, almost knocking the air out of the smaller person and smiled as he looked down at him.
JD gave a startled but questioning look at him.
"I'm not a world-class hurdler for nothing." He said slyly.
Before JD knew it, he found the janitor kissing him roughly and all of the old men cheering him on in the background. His face was burning out of embarrassment but otherwise; he felt nothing else, which was a shock.
He was expecting him to feel disgusted or afraid, but he didn't. In fact, he felt kind of… Fuzzy inside.
The janitor backed off (the gay men still riled up by the show were still cheering) and let JD breathe again. He smiled and looked down at the doctor in an amused manner. "So, how straight are you now?" He asked gleefully.
JD looked stunned for a minute and than smiled and chuckled a bit to himself, "Not much, I guess."
The older got off the younger and helped JD to his feet. "I was hoping you'd say that!"
"Appletinis for everyone!" Bob cheered and started to make the apple martinis.
The janitor rolled his eyes and sighed, "Just give me the vodka!" He yelled.
"JD, I like this guy!" Bob and Fred said in unison and chuckled afterwards.
"Ah ha…" He said, and after a pause added: "I like him too."