"Miss, I would like some more champagne, please."

Eri Sawachika smiled. It sure was nice when they were polite. After years of being the one in command, Eri had taken it upon herself to become the subservient one. She told her friends and family that she wanted to experience the other side of life, at least during her job, and not a one of them questioned it. Ok…Nakamura questioned it, but he didn't say a word. Besides that, he knew her true motivation and vowed to help her in any way possible. His loyalty was supreme and she thanked him for every ounce of it.

"Of course, ma'am!" she replied with a smile and a nod of her bright blonde head. The passenger smiled warmly back at the young stewardess and raised her champagne flute for a refill.

As the chilled light golden liquid filled the elegant glass, Eri thought about the trip she would soon be taking herself. Should she fly coach or first class? Or even a private jet? The Sawachika family certainly had their share of those at her ready disposal. Hmm.

Nakamura waited around the corner from the airport with an inconspicuous black sedan car. Ever since her high school graduation, the young mistress had become utterly fascinated with the life of the common people. She had also felt the need to get away from Japan and applied to colleges in England, where she was readily accepted at Cambridge. She studied hard, played very little (if at all) and graduated with a bachelor's degree in social anthropology. Nakamura knew she wasn't planning on doing anything with it, but he watched proudly as she fulfilled one dream after another, finally becoming an overqualified airline stewardess for British Airways. Nakamura smiled inwardly when he heard her quick step coming around the corner; he'd know her light footsteps anywhere. With her head ducked down, she stepped to the car and furtively ducked into the backseat. Quickly, Nakamura stowed her bag and hopped up front, started the car and eased back out into the street. He fought the urge to look immediately into rearview mirror once he was steadily moving down the road and so he switched on the radio.

"Nice to see you, too, Nakamura," said the amused voice of his mistress.

"Miss, it is always a pleasure and a godsend to have you back in this car."

"Well, I hope it's a pleasure to have me home for a time, too."

That you know, Miss." He could feel her gaze and gave in. Looking into the rearview mirror, he saw the young mistress, resplendent in even a plain dark blue uniform and red and blue ascot, smiling her natural glorious smile at him.

"It's so good to be home!"

Looking out of the car window, she smiled again. Funny, but to her, home would always be Japan, despite having been raised and gaining a further education in England. She even lived in England now, as she worked full-time for the airline, but she came back to Japan whenever she was granted a break. Of course, she also had various apartments and condos across the globe, courtesy of her family, for the ease of her chosen occupation, but that was beside the point. Right after graduating high school, she thought about fighting her background – giving up all that was granted to her because of her wealth and status – but she mulled it over for a long time and decided against it.

However, she did decide that she wanted to lead as normal a life as possible most of the time. She had done so for the most part during high school and she'd loved every second of it, especially her wonderfully normal friends at her gloriously normal, everyday school. It was a concession her parents had been hard pressed to accept, but she was their beautiful prize, their Eri; they always gave in to her…even with the marriage negotiations.

Of course, her parents had never once thought that she would try to defy them on that point; they knew through the family servants that she'd had no interest in the many boys who'd asked her out. Surely she would allow an arranged marriage. But when she hadn't accepted, when she'd showed up at the family home with a tall, dark stranger, they were genuinely surprised, but they capitulated. A second time and the same tall man entered their home with Eri on his arm; they gave up all hope of arranging her marriage and had yet to try again. She seriously doubted that they would. That man was Kenji Harima.

His image flashed in Eri's mind and she flinched. It still hurt. Any thought of him was just that: him or he. Never his name. That hurt. She'd never had the chance to call him by his first name, though she'd practiced it alone in her room when they were under the pretense of engagement.

Why didn't I ever say to him, "Kenji, I love you." I'm so immature. I only ever called him Whiskers and Harima. I even denied him the chance to stay in my house! Why didn't I let him stay? Oh, because I didn't want to show him how much he turned my head. Because I couldn't let him get that close. Because Nakamura and Masaru would screw everything up and scare him away forever. And then he ended up living with Yakumo and Sara in the Tsukamoto household. I maintained my bossy face for a whole school year and I don't think he ever knew the truth of my feelings. Is that a relief? That he didn't ever guess? I really don't think I gave him any hint…except maybe when we held hands for show at dinners and on the way back to the car afterwards. Did he ever notice that he made me shiver? That my palms were sweaty? That I couldn't look him in the eye once we were away from whoever it was we were trying to fool? He was always gruff and silent. The smiles were forced. I felt awful for forcing him into that. He was trapped and I did that to him. And I'm sure he still ached for Tenma. Granted, it was a love that would never be reciprocated, but what I did was so wrong. After graduation, I freed him from his obligation.

It was dark and Nakamura had just dropped Harima off in front of the front gates of the Sawachika home. The young "couple" had just come from a dinner given to the young miss' parents by their illustrious friends and it was time for the young man to depart. Nakamura was just about to drive off when the young mistress said that she needed to talk to the young man for a minute and that she'd be along shortly; he should put the car in the carriage house and she'd meet him inside. Nakamura smiled to himself and nodded his head.

"As you wish, Young Miss."

The car struck off slowly down the drive and Eri stood, watching it go, her long blonde hair down around her shoulders like a golden shawl. She turned to the tall young man heading over to a lonely motorcycle parked by the front gate.

"Hey, Whiskers?"

He turned, his hair blowing in the light breeze. "Yeah, Princess?"

Gulp. Don't look at his eyes. Look at his nose. "Can we take a walk in the garden? Alone?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Sure, but we're never really alone at your place. You know that, right?"

She nodded. "Then…the temple garden?"

He thought for a second and nodded his head. Eri's eyes widened as she lowered her head.

"Hm." She looked up to see him contemplating the sky. "We should take the bike. They won't know where we're going and we'll be too fast to follow well." Lowering his head, his bangs covered his eyes and he turned and headed over to where he'd parked the motorcycle earlier.

Eri's heart sank to her toes. Oh man. Alone with him. Alone. With. Him. Just a little bit of acting and all of this will be over. No more guilt, no more pain. He will be free and that's just what I want. I know that now.

Eri hurried over to Harima and climbed onto the bike behind him. She hesitated before placing her hands gently on the leather jacket he wore.

"You're gonna need to hold on better than that, Princess. We gotta jet."

Following his gaze to the front door, Eri saw Nakamura eyeing them with curiosity. She wrapped her arms around Harima's middle and he started the bike, speeding out of the driveway with a burst of power.

Out on the road, everything whizzed by with an intensity that made her eyes burn, so she closed them and the world slowed to a standstill. Here she was, holding Kenji Harima close, riding on his motorcycle to the place where she would finally break their engagement and end their agreement. He would be thrilled, she was sure. She thought about how he would take it: either jumping for joy or stoically nodding and disappearing from her life. Suddenly, the ride was over and he was waiting for her to release him from her grip so he could stand. Eri blushed.

"Sorry. We went so fast…"

"Yeah," he agreed. "Got stuff to do."

"Right." She stood and indicated that they walk away from the entrance. Together but separately they entered the quiet water garden beyond the main temple grounds, Harima following her like an ominous shadow. Stopping beneath a willow, Eri turned to face him and her breath caught in her throat. He was so handsome with his dark skin and long, dark hair. His eyes were bright and, though they were wary now, they usually had a hint of innocence and mischievousness. It was now or never. He would never look at her kindly again if she kept this pretense up. She could see it was wearing him down, always having to accompany her. He'd even put up with teasing at school with only the occasional beat down to maintain his delinquent status. She was horrible.

"Uh, Whiskers?" She breathed again.

"Yeah?"

Do it. Pull it off quickly and get back to reality. This dream world is killing him. It has to be.

A short intake of breath and she closed her eyes. "It's over."

"Huh?"

She looked up and saw his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, his eyes so bright and natural.

"That's it. It's over," she said. "We can stop pretending now." He blinked and raised an eyebrow.

Rolling her eyes, Eri shouted, "This fake engagement! Ugh. I don't know how to put it any plainer, you thickheaded numbskull, so get it straight: our arrangement is done!" She lowered her voice to just above a whisper. "Your obligation to me is fulfilled. Thank you for your help." I needed your strength to see me through.

Eri took another deep breath and stared at her shoes. She couldn't bear to look up and see excitement and relief all over his handsome face. He remained quiet and she looked over at his shoes, which led to his trousers, his button down shirt under the leather jacket, his dark skin, his face, his eyes…he was staring at her. Eri felt a flush creep over her pale features, but she maintained his gaze. She felt tears rising out of the depths of her heart and she took a deep breath as he watched. The tears fell back into their pool and she cast her glance at the beautiful moonlit pond in the garden.

"It's ok. You can leave. I'll call for a ride home." She raised her cell phone out of her purse and let it drop back down. She could feel his gaze as if it were burning her skin. She couldn't look at him again. He had to go now, but she had to let him know she was sorry. For holding him hostage, for embarrassing him, for trying to erase Tenma from his mind with her ever-present presence.

"Whiskers, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry? Why should you be sorry?"

"I…because I…because I am." She looked down again.

"That's it, huh?"

She nodded.

"I won't accept."

"What did you just say?" Looking up, she saw him leaning on the willow, arms crossed.

"I said that I didn't accept your apology. That's all."

Eri's immediate reaction was rage and she flushed, the corners of her mouth turning downwards, but she just stared. "Explain yourself."

"We're even. No need to be sorry for circumstances Iaccepted."

"…against your will," she murmured.

"What was that, Princess?"

"NOTHING!" She lunged and slapped him across the face. "JUST ACCEPT MY APOLOGY!"

Oh no! She caught herself immediately after her hand connected to his cheek. She brought the stinging palm up to her mouth in shock. Her tears overflowed her heart and ran in twin rivulets down her cheeks.

"I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to force you into this, I just needed you so..."

Beyond the tears, Eri saw Harima's eyes widen at this almost-confession. She faltered and shook her head.

"Your strength. I needed your strength. I don't know anyone who could have done what you did. You did all this for me when you already have a girl that you love. You called me your friend and I couldn't help myself. I depended on you and took advantage of your kindness by holding you all year long when…when…"

Her tears finally obscured her vision of him, standing tall in the dark.

"When you could have been healing your own heart!"

With a sob, Eri sank to the ground and cried her heart into her cold hands, her shoulders convulsing with each breath.

All I ever do is hurt people. I don't mean to, but I do. Even those I love the most.
Eri thought about Tenma and the night the silly girl had spent awaiting her, while she had no plans to show up.
I try to apologize to him and I slap him to try and FORCE him to accept my stupid apology. Tenma's a rocket scientist compared to me. How can I be so stupid? With a stunt like this, I'll never be worthy of anyone's love! Especially his.

When her sobbing quieted and she leaned silently into the tree beside her, she was startled to still feel Harima still standing there in front of her.

"You're going to freeze," he said.

"Because my heart's so cold?" she sniffled.

"No. Because you're sitting on the ground in a dress with no sleeves in early spring."

Mortified, Eri blushed and hugged her own shoulders. "I knew that."

"Uh huh." She heard him shift and suddenly, he was crouched in front of her, his jacket over her shoulders. Her blush deepened.

"Hey."

Eri stayed silent.

"You know, you're not as cold as you think. Pride isn't the same thing as having an icy heart. You love. I know it."

Eri's heart pounded in her ears. He knew it? Then he can tell how I feel? And he hasn't run away?

"Tsukamoto loves you and you love her." Eri's breathing stopped for a beat.

Tenma. He's thinking about Tenma.

"Same with Suou and Takano. You almost broke their hearts last year when you were about to change schools. Even I could see that."

Her head was swimming. So he didn't know she loved him. It was painful and yet a relief. AND he was still thinking about Tenma first! She wanted to scream. She wanted to…Eri looked up at his earnest expression. He was still talking. She wanted to silence him with a kiss. She wanted…

"Ok?"

She shook her head. "Ok what?"

"We're even. You helped me when I was in a dangerous situation and now you're telling me we're good here. Then we're even, right?"

"Sure. Even."

"Good, now let's get you home so you won't catch a cold."

He'd driven her home, her arms clasped in front of him. She was blissfully warm embracing him and, at the door, they said goodbye to each other.

"You ok now, Princess? You sure they'll take it all right?"

"Take what?"

"That we're through."

Eri's heart sank.

"Yeah. They'll be fine. I don't think they're going to try again."

His eyes were searching her face; she looked away.

"And if they do?"

"Then I'll face it by myself. I'm too good at hiding behind someone else's strength."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Eri was exhausted and it hit her all at once. Her eyelids fluttered and she swayed. Harima grabbed her arm and held her up.

"You ok, Princess?"

Weakly she shoved him away.

"I'm fine. I just…just…" She turned away from him. She was going to cry again. She couldn't help it. Eri opened the door and whispered in English.

"I just don't deserve you, Whiskers."

She felt his hand on her arm, staying her. She trembled from the cold and the ache in her heart.

"What did you say? I didn't hear you."

"I was speaking in English. You won't understand it."

"I don't care. Tell me anyway."

Eri repeated it, again in English: "I said I just don't deserve you. Not just your strength anymore. You."

One last time, she looked up into his eyes before she closed the door. And that was the last she'd seen of him until the get together in America, and that was only for an hour, tops; he'd cut out before she'd gotten to even try to talk to him alone.