A/N: Hey everybody, this is a fic written solely by Celynnen..the
beginning's kinda stupid, but hey, isnt every first chapter I start out
with stupid??? **Nods in the audience** That's what I thought!
I started this fic a long long time ago, like last September, and I haven't
written in it since like January and I finally decided (along with constant
annoyances from my cousin) to start writing and typing it again!!! Yay for
me!!! Well, here it is: It Only Hurts When I Breathe..
Chapter 1 : Elijah Wood
'Hey, Harry!'
Harry turned around to see who had called his name. It was Oliver Wood, Harry's old Quidditch captain. He had graduated from Hogwarts 2 years ago now. Harry, who was 15, hoped to be the next captain of his team. Oliver was walking with a young man, who was about 19 and his hair was slicked up to a point. He was really handsome.
'Oliver?' Harry said, bewildered. 'What are you doing here?' Harry, Ron and Hermione were getting ready to get on the Hogwarts Express to go to Hogwarts.
'I'm doing my aunt a favor. This is my cousin, Elijah. Elijah, this is Harry Potter.' Oliver winked at his cousin. 'Elijah's been, uh, transferred from the Young Celebrity's Private Institute of Magic in America.'
Harry stared. 'Elijah Wood?'
Elijah chuckled. 'Yeah, that would be me.'
'The Elijah Wood?'
'Yeah.'
'Hold on a minute.' Harry turned around and ran toward where Ron and Hermione were standing.
'Oh, Harry.' Hermione said. 'Thank goodness you're here. Please tell Ron that the new DADA teacher won't be a complete idiot.'
'The DADA teachers are always complete idiots!' Ron objected.
'Lupin wasn't an idiot.' Hermione contradicted. 'He was cool.'
'Yeah, that's all very nice but there's something more important to talk about.' Harry interrupted. 'Do you know who Elijah Wood is?'
Ron stared. 'Who?'
Hermione went rigid. 'Did you say Elijah Wood? Elijah Wood as in Elijah Wood the Extreme Hottie? Ever since I saw The Fellowship of the Ring, in which he was extremely ugly, I thought he was the best. Along with Legolas and Aragorn.'
Ron tried to stifle his laughter.
Harry stared at Hermione for a minute. 'Yeah. Well, you have problems. But you're gonna like this: Elijah Wood is here.' Hermione gaped at him and then sat down on the floor.
'You're kidding, right?' she managed to say after a few minutes of hyperventilating.
'Oh my God, Hermione! Stop acting like a freak!' Ron said. 'Who, exactly, are you talking about?'
Harry groaned and dragged Hermione off the ground and said, 'Oh, both of you, just shut up and follow me. Hermione, promise not to start hyperventilating again, okay?'
Hermione nodded and then started to walk to walk toward Oliver and Elijah. When they got there, Hermione said, 'So, where is he?'
Harry looked at her disbelievingly, and then looked at Elijah, then back to Hermione, as if to say, 'He's right there, you dumb butt-munchie!' Hermione's eyes widened.
'Hi, I'm Ron Weasley.' Ron said to cover up Hermione's awkward silence. 'You're Elijah, right?'
Elijah looked at Ron and replied, 'Yeah, you've heard of me?'
'Not 'til just now. I'm a pure-blood wizard, so I don't really know what's going on in the muggle world.'
'So you've never watched a movie?'
'Nope, but Hermione here, she's muggle-born, so she's probably seen a few movies in her life.'
Elijah looked at Hermione, who was glaring at Ron. 'Oh, really? Which movies have you seen?'
'Uh, well.. I've seen The Princess Bride, Dragon Heart, The 10th Kingdom, um... The Lord of the Rings..' she left of there just for affect.
'Neat. You saw my movie. Did you like it?'
'Oh, yes! It was my favorite movie! I loved Rivendell and Lothlorien. Oh, and Moria and..' She began listing off everything that happened in the movie.
Elijah leaned in toward Harry. 'Is she usually like this?'
'Not usually.'
'Okay.'
'... and the party and Isengard and the Orcs (well, I didn't like the orcs too much, they were ugly)..'
Ron rolled his eyes. 'So, what brings you here, Elijah?'
Elijah looked at Hermione again and shook his head. 'I'm taking a break from acting for awhile. My mom said I should visit Oliver here in England, so I came. I saw an ad in the paper about teaching at Hogwarts and I decided to go and teach there. I'm the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.'
'Ha! Told you.' Hermione said to Ron and then she went back to her movie list.
Chapter 1 : Elijah Wood
'Hey, Harry!'
Harry turned around to see who had called his name. It was Oliver Wood, Harry's old Quidditch captain. He had graduated from Hogwarts 2 years ago now. Harry, who was 15, hoped to be the next captain of his team. Oliver was walking with a young man, who was about 19 and his hair was slicked up to a point. He was really handsome.
'Oliver?' Harry said, bewildered. 'What are you doing here?' Harry, Ron and Hermione were getting ready to get on the Hogwarts Express to go to Hogwarts.
'I'm doing my aunt a favor. This is my cousin, Elijah. Elijah, this is Harry Potter.' Oliver winked at his cousin. 'Elijah's been, uh, transferred from the Young Celebrity's Private Institute of Magic in America.'
Harry stared. 'Elijah Wood?'
Elijah chuckled. 'Yeah, that would be me.'
'The Elijah Wood?'
'Yeah.'
'Hold on a minute.' Harry turned around and ran toward where Ron and Hermione were standing.
'Oh, Harry.' Hermione said. 'Thank goodness you're here. Please tell Ron that the new DADA teacher won't be a complete idiot.'
'The DADA teachers are always complete idiots!' Ron objected.
'Lupin wasn't an idiot.' Hermione contradicted. 'He was cool.'
'Yeah, that's all very nice but there's something more important to talk about.' Harry interrupted. 'Do you know who Elijah Wood is?'
Ron stared. 'Who?'
Hermione went rigid. 'Did you say Elijah Wood? Elijah Wood as in Elijah Wood the Extreme Hottie? Ever since I saw The Fellowship of the Ring, in which he was extremely ugly, I thought he was the best. Along with Legolas and Aragorn.'
Ron tried to stifle his laughter.
Harry stared at Hermione for a minute. 'Yeah. Well, you have problems. But you're gonna like this: Elijah Wood is here.' Hermione gaped at him and then sat down on the floor.
'You're kidding, right?' she managed to say after a few minutes of hyperventilating.
'Oh my God, Hermione! Stop acting like a freak!' Ron said. 'Who, exactly, are you talking about?'
Harry groaned and dragged Hermione off the ground and said, 'Oh, both of you, just shut up and follow me. Hermione, promise not to start hyperventilating again, okay?'
Hermione nodded and then started to walk to walk toward Oliver and Elijah. When they got there, Hermione said, 'So, where is he?'
Harry looked at her disbelievingly, and then looked at Elijah, then back to Hermione, as if to say, 'He's right there, you dumb butt-munchie!' Hermione's eyes widened.
'Hi, I'm Ron Weasley.' Ron said to cover up Hermione's awkward silence. 'You're Elijah, right?'
Elijah looked at Ron and replied, 'Yeah, you've heard of me?'
'Not 'til just now. I'm a pure-blood wizard, so I don't really know what's going on in the muggle world.'
'So you've never watched a movie?'
'Nope, but Hermione here, she's muggle-born, so she's probably seen a few movies in her life.'
Elijah looked at Hermione, who was glaring at Ron. 'Oh, really? Which movies have you seen?'
'Uh, well.. I've seen The Princess Bride, Dragon Heart, The 10th Kingdom, um... The Lord of the Rings..' she left of there just for affect.
'Neat. You saw my movie. Did you like it?'
'Oh, yes! It was my favorite movie! I loved Rivendell and Lothlorien. Oh, and Moria and..' She began listing off everything that happened in the movie.
Elijah leaned in toward Harry. 'Is she usually like this?'
'Not usually.'
'Okay.'
'... and the party and Isengard and the Orcs (well, I didn't like the orcs too much, they were ugly)..'
Ron rolled his eyes. 'So, what brings you here, Elijah?'
Elijah looked at Hermione again and shook his head. 'I'm taking a break from acting for awhile. My mom said I should visit Oliver here in England, so I came. I saw an ad in the paper about teaching at Hogwarts and I decided to go and teach there. I'm the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.'
'Ha! Told you.' Hermione said to Ron and then she went back to her movie list.