A/N: I do not own Death note nor do I make any money from the use of it characters.

Rain. For what seems like the millionth time this month its raining. And he's pissed now. But to say now would imply he stopped being pissed for a moment. Which he didn't so I guess I should say he's pissed again.

And its all my fault (so he says although it always seems to be my fault these days).

"How many times do I have to tell you?! Don't touch my shit!" (Apparently a lot. I'd never say that out loud).

"Are you stupid or some thing ?! Or do you just enjoy pissing me off?!"

(Do you really want me to answer that? Because if you think your pissed off now…)

"I'm sorry Matt…" I mumbled softly, desperately trying to hold back tears. Pulling at my sleeves to cover the skin steadily becoming purple.

He stared at me fiercely, his normally placid face contorted with unshed rage. A small lamp glowered timidly on the nightstand as if even it was scared of being tossed around in his anger. Casting eerie shadows across his stunning face. So perfect even in his current state.

"Whatever…" Plopping down on the bed, facing away from me, he sunk his head into his gloved hands. Anger now drained, he felt exhausted. Not the regular tired either. This level of enervation could not be achieved simply by cramming for finals, working overtime at the law firm, or staying up late drinking and playing Halo.

He was tired in ways he never thought possible. However being on the verge of a mental breakdown doesn't stop the world from closing in on you.

"Go get my cigarettes." his command muffled by his gloves. His brunette locks dangled limply, devoid of much life (much like its suitor) hiding the rest of his face.

'Where are they?!' I frantically searched under piles of papers I knew better than to read and tendrils of wires but they didn't seem to be anywhere.

To call out to Matt and ask him where they were, would certainly further infuriate him, but to take forever looking for those damn cancer sticks would bring about the same fate.

I hate seeing him this way, Forever tired, even more angry. Though the words never escaped his lips, working on this case is getting to him. More than he would ever admit even to himself.

But that's just how Matt is. As apathetic, contemplative, and unmotivated as he is, give him a case like this and he'd stun you with his genius( he was third in line to be L) and determination.

He's invested to much in this case, he cant stop. Not just because Mello would never hear a word of that, but because he just cant. Matt couldn't quit at anything to save his life. Even if it would indeed save his life, it wouldn't be enough of an incentive.

Call it pride or just plain stupidity (but if you do choose to call it the latter, don't say it to his face unless you want a gun pointed at yours).

But where does that leave me you ask? Why only the best actress on this planet! Grammy's, Oscar's, pah - shaw!

Give me some concealer and dim enough lighting and I can cover any bruise. Hide any scar, both visible and not so visible.

Give me a day after and I could have you swearing up and down last night didn't happen. That I wasn't on the verge of a nervous breakdown. That my name could have been Little Miss Perfect because I'm nothing but smiles and smiles and smiles!

(Because a smiles a smile no matter how fake it is)

I moved over to a pile of clothes, it yielding the same results: nothing.

Five more minutes of flipping things over and shoving things around before I found them: sitting on top of his laptop obscured by more paper (those poor trees).

Walking back to the room she realized it was quiet. That its been that way for a while.

There were no beeps or chirps from his numerous video games nor where there any sounds of the gears turning in his multiple laptops.

Cracking the oak door open I peered inside the room and saw it was dark inside the room, save for the faint glow of the moon now visible through the thick clouds.

Matt was laying on his back, snoring lightly, his chest rising and falling gently. His chocolate locks sprayed magnificently across the blood red pillow, creating a gorgeous contrast.

His face is what struck me the most. It wasn't cold or calculating nor was it a hybrid of bored and suave. Calm. His mouth wasn't set in a scowl and his jaw was no longer clenched in a volatile mood.

Matt was calm and she couldn't be happier. When Matt was calm, she was calm. When Matt was stressed she was stressed. This basic logic is what her past year in a half was directed by. They fed off each others vibes for better or worse.

Orange tinted goggles were still planted firmly over his royal blue eyes, glowing serenely in the scarce light.

Bending over, she removed the offending item from his face, skimming her fingers over the smooth skin below. Venturing lower they brushed across his lips no longer spewing hurt filled words or brandishing a cigarette like a weapon. Instead they were still, slightly ajar. So inviting.

Pushing her lips into his in chaste, she marveled at how soft they were. (Has it really been that long?)

Tucking a strand of caramel hair behind her ear, she pulled away, not wanting to disturb him. Be a bother to him even in his sleep.

Before she could get far, an arm (his arm) wrapped around her waist, bringing her back down into the kiss.

Her eyes snapped open in complete shock and embarrassment at being caught.

"What you wait till I'm asleep and then you molest me?" he murmured sitting up hummer evident in his voice.

"I…You….No!" She shrieked indignantly, her face cherry red.

He stared at her for a moment, before laughing. That low, throaty laugh that years of smoking has yet to taint. That even more years of pain, anxiety grasping at him couldn't destroy. It felt so good to hear it.

Pulling her down so she cold lay down as well, she rested on his chest her face nestled in the crook of his neck. He kissed her again, slipping his tongue in to her warm cavern.

They stayed that way for a while: Matt holding her, running his fingers through her amber locks. Like they did when they first met.

"Bri… I'm so sorry…" His voice was soft and precise, he was thinking a lot about this.

"I know Matt its ok."

"Not just for today, but for all those other times…"

"I know."

"And I love you more than anything else in the world."

"I know"

"Just know that no matter what happens…. That …that everything will be ok. Promise me that you'll be ok."

"I will Matt and love you too…. More than anything."

Its raining yet again but its ok. Pressing her lips into the cold marble, right above his name, she stood unsteadily, laying a gloved hand on her expanding stomach. Praying silently for the new life soon to blossom. Praying silently for the life never to blossom again.

She wanted to cry, to scream, to lay down besides him until they were together again.

But she smiled (a real one mind you).

Because its going to be ok.

She promised Matt.

So it will be ok.