She tries.

It's hard – oh, is it hard – but she does try. But, he's just there and he's warm and he's funny and he's Chandler. Her best friend – yes, she's known Rachel longer, but she's never been Rachel's favorite human being, unlike Chandler, who tells her all the time how much she means to him.

Unlike Chandler, the commitment phobe, who offers to marry her when they turn forty, just so she can have a child, like she wants. Or children. So, maybe – just maybe – she could see herself wanting more than one child with him.

So, he tends to hide behind his humor and he's too sarcastic, sometimes. She understands him in a way – she's been in his position, feeling alone. A rough relationship with the parents. She knows what it's like to keep a guard up, to hide behind something. Her guard had been food and a sense of control. And, she'd needed it against her perpetually disappointed mother. They understand each other and that's part of the appeal.

And, yes, he does have adorably floppy brown hair that sort of curls when it gets to a certain length, and no, she can't resist his blue eyes but that's okay. Because she doesn't want to. She wants her stomach to flip-flop like a fish out of water when he's around. She likes feeling like the prettiest woman in the room when he looks at her.

She tries not to be.

A part of her desperately wishes she could change it, but she can't. She can never change the fact that she, Monica E. Geller, is in love with her best friend.

…

He doesn't try.

Because it is too hard – my God, is it hard – and he's always had a knack for falling for women, some might consider out of his league. It's hardly his fault, anyway. She's there and she's so beautiful and she takes care of him and she makes him feel safe.

Safe – so safe, he almost doesn't feel like he should hide behind his humor around her. So much so that, even though he's terrified of being tied down, he offers to marry when they turn forty, if only to give her the child she wants. Hell, maybe even multiple children. Because, who wouldn't want to have multiple children with her?

And, in his own weird way – in that part of him that is so heavily guarded by dry humor and sarcasm – he understands her. He gets how she'd turned to food to shield her from a mother, who was never pleased with anything she did. A rough relationship with his own parents had given him that sense of understanding. He knows what it's like to need that shield, that plate of armor to keep you safe against the world, or parents that want to tear you to shreds.

He feels like they understand each other and that endears him to her in ways he can't even begin to explain.

It certainly helps that she's the most attractive woman in any room she's in. And, maybe he likes the way her hair moves when she laughs and the way her eyes sort of twinkle when she's happy. Maybe – just maybe – he likes the catch of his breath when he sees her, even when she wears old sweats and a t-shirt. Maybe, he likes feeling like he's got some sort of connection with her when he calms her down. When he doesn't complain about her OCD, just lets her do what she needs to do to feel a sense of control.

So, no, he doesn't try – not even a little bit, and no, he doesn't want to change it. Doesn't want to change the fact that he, Chandler Muriel Bing, is in love with his best friend.