A/N

So, this is my first story posted online ever so sorry for misstakes.

My spelling and grammer is not perfect but english is not my native so sorry but I'm trying.

I know the time lines are way off, live with it :P

As said, this is my first ever story so comments are welcome. Just don't flame to much.

Disclamer

I do not own any of these people, if I did you would see my storylines on tv.

Warnings

rated M for language and (mostly in ring) violence. Future chapters may contain sexuall content.

Every other day

Ch 1.

The days had since long ago floated together into one big blur. Sleepless nights and countless memory gaps accompanied endless fights against sanity it self. He couldn't remember when it started or even why, he just knew he couldn't stop.

Jeff had messed everything up years ago when he started drinking and eventually the addiction turned into drugs. His brother had long ago given up on trying to help him and every job he got didn't keep him for long.

A big blur of misery and loneliness was an every day occurrence lately.

He was tired of this downwards spiral he was on and he missed Matt and their friends. He felt abandoned but he only had himself to blame.

Jeff knew he needed to quit but how could he? He had tried before but something always put him right back down into addiction.

Jeff opened his eyes as the sunlight burned his face. Rolling over and burying his head in the pillow he tried to remember the night before. He couldn't.

With a sigh he got up and left the bedroom heading for the kitchen. His head hurt and yesterday was a black hole, to be honest, the last couple of weeks was a blur and he couldn't really remember much at all.

Taking a beer from the fridge he sat down on a kitchen chair staring at the bottle.

He needed the drink but he didn't want it. The burning need however would not subside and he twisted of the cap taking half the bottle in one swig.

Jeff rested his head on the table feeling regret creep up on him, putting it's claws into him and painfully pulling him towards the darkness. He wanted to fight it, he really did, but how could he? What would it matter anyway? Everyone and everything he loved was now out of his reach. Nothing he did now could atone for the shit he'd done, it was way to late for reckoning.

Slamming his fist on the dark mahogany tabletop he stood up, throwing the half empty bottle at the wall he left the room angry and frustrated.

He used to be a huge WWE superstar but he screwed it up. He used to have a family, friends even fans but now he had nothing but him self to blame.

Jeff flopped down on the couch, turning the computer on he checked the latest news in the wrestling circuit. Finding an article on some new up and coming stars called 'the shield'. Reading over the names he opened google and searched. He got a lot of hits, amongst them all was one about CZW and a great tagteam back in the days. Switchblade conspiracy used to be one of the biggest hardcore tagteams, consisting of Sami Callahan and the guy from the WWE article. Jon Moxley or now better known as the lunatic fringe Dean Ambrose.

One of the other guys came from Ring of Honor. Tayler Black had some great highflying moves and Jeff was almost impressed. No one would ever live up to the level he once were at, not even Seth Rollins as the guy was now known. The third guy, a big samoan named Roman Reigns gave the group some intimidation factor and over all Jeff was convinced these three would make it big. He just wished he could be there and see it for him self.

Next time he looked at the digital clock of the computer he realized he'd been consumed in old wrestling videos for almost eight hours. He had watched every match he could find, every promo and every interview with the three and he would be lying if he said that he wasn't impressed.

The guys had talent both inside the ring and outside.

If I ever get the chance to fight them, I would love to meat them in a TLC- match any day, if I'm still capable of doing a good TLC-match that is. Well honestly, it depends mostly on if I ever get back in a wrestling ring...

Truth is I haven't been in one for about two years now, not even training with Matt or Shannon. That is however my own damn fault.

Two years ago I messed up bad, well I'm not really making any effort in fixing it so again, my bad.

After shutting down the computer and stretching for a moment I left the house and went for a walk. I need to fix my life, get back on track somehow.

Before I even realized it I was knocking on Matts door and a surprised Matt opened it.

- what d'ya want?!

I could tell he wasn't thrilled with me being there. I hadn't spoken to him in over a year. I had really missed my big brother but the nervousness and fear hit me like a semi truck.

- I... M-Matt...

I felt my eyes getting wet and my hands were shaking. My mind was completely blank and I just wanted to run away. I didn't however, I needed to be here, to do this and I was going to no matter what.

I took a deep breath and looked up at the brown eyes studying me.

- Matt I want help...