AN: Few hours left! Who's excited? I'm saying that I haven't been excited and scared and terrified of an Episode in a long time. Distracted me whole Week, and I had to write two Exams. Hope that my Excitement didn't affect the Exams. Otherwise I'm going to kick Shonda.
So, this Thing was in my mind since a few weeks, and since it's never ever going to happen in the show, I NEEDE to write it, but I never knew how to write it. Thanks to the Excitement, I knew today. Just. Read.
As usual, sorry for my language. I'm normally from Austria, so mind the mistakes.
Oh, and I decided to make the Actual TALKING cursive, instead of the Thinking. Because Amber's thinking ALOT more then there is talking!
Disclaimer: I own absolutly nothing. If I did, I wouldn't be scared of the upcoming Episode, because the last scene from last week wouldn't have happen.

"Hello, I'm Miss Lydia Coulter-Bateman, I'm the new Guidance Counselor at this School."

She thinks, people who have double Surnames, are People who can't make decisions. If they want to keep their own name as a legacy of their Family, or if they want to take the Name of their Husband or Wife and continue his or hers legacy. Accepting, that one light of their Name-Family goes out with that.
Coulter or Bateman. Just this decision. But people who can't decide, create a whole new Name. Even though it might sound stupid, like Coulter-Bateman.

Miss Stupid Name clears her throat. Maybe she's not sure, if the Girl sitting before her is even listening.
"Your previous Counselor, Mr. Johnson, told me you're a bit of a special case. I don't want you to see me as a Grownup. Just… see me like a friend! I just want you to know, that you can be super honest with me, okay?"

She nods in agreement. Really thinks the opposite. Honesty is stupid. That's one of the first things she learned. Lying. Probably sucked it in with the mother milk she never got. Her Brothers taught her that lying was bad thing, but that the three of them needed to do it to survive. To stick together. Lying, so they wouldn't be torn apart again. So they couldn't tell the Truth. Couldn't say how bad it really was at home, and how bad it had gotten after they came back from foster care. Not to Social Workers or Teachers or other people who just can't mind their own business. So she learned to keep all the thoughts she has inside her head, and always tell people only what they deserve to hear. Without a few exceptions, it worked all the time.
And now, with no family left that can stick together, she's still lying and covering everything up with a face. Because she doesn't know any better.

"As I can see from your file, you were born in State Hospital on May 17th 1994. Ooh, that means you're turning 17 in 2 weeks!"

Yeah. Born to a father who was lying somewhere, to drunk and drugged to even care, so that his 14 year old minor had to drive to the hospital, without even having a license, and a mother who was so much out of her mind to even realize that she was in labor. Hell, sometimes she forgot that she was pregnant, and her eldest son had to watch that she stopped drinking and took care of herself and the growing baby. Well, that's at least what they told her.

Stupid Name mentions her upcoming birthday like it's a great thing. She used to like Birthdays. When she still had two brothers around, who always tried to make her birthday something special. Make her special. But now? Getting older is just a stupid reminder, that you survived one more year in a living hell.
But the perky counselor doesn't seem to notice her dismay. Instead she continues to ramble down all her personal facts she gets from the file, stuff she knows anyways. It's like she expects her to tell her that the stuff about foster care or the father she never knew or her crazy mother is totally wrong.

"…two older brothers…"
Both of them absent, just like my parents, she adds as an afterthought in her mind. Physical and Psychical.

...and currently living with your mother."
Wrong. Mom's living with me. But instead she just nods and tries to return the bright Smile to the Women.

"Allright. Now let's get to the point of our conversation. Your Teachers are worried about you. I don't know if you are aware of this, but you're the best student."
"What's there to worry about?" She asks, even though she knows the answer to that. "I mean, aren't they usually worried if the Students are failing?"
"Well. Actually, they are worried that you turn yourself in the learning to much. They're worried about your social behavior. They say, you don't have one friend here and you're always seen alone, studying."
Yeah. Try make Friends with complete douche Bags, who have nothing inside their heads except drinking and smoking and screwing. Who don't have to worry about their future, because Mommy or Daddy is paying for everything, or because they can take over Daddys big Company.

"They're also saying, that you haven't looked for colleges yet."
"Just like most people in my class haven't. Why? Because they don't want to go. Me? Same."
"But I don't understand. You're such a smart young girl. You're grades are even better then the ones your eldest Brother had. And he went to college, even to Med School. Don't you want to follow his footsteps?"

He was her knight in shining armor. Her Superhero. A Person that was able to make everything ok. She used to admire him. She used to wanted to be exactly like him – well, except the Wrestling, because she just found that creepy.
She remembers him leaving. She remembers that she cried and screamed at him the night he left her. The she kept hitting him with her fists, because she couldn't understand how he could leave her alone. But superhero always had the ability to calm her down. He just hugged her tightly and promised her, that everything was going to be ok.
She believed he would come back on his white horse. With a Magical Cure for their Mom and the whole messed up situation they were in.
But she got older, and stopped believing in fairytales. Stopped believing in her own personal fairytale. There was no such thing as Superhero's. And her stupid eldest brother was just the thing other People said – a selfish Ass who destroyed the Family. Who's the reason for all the misery they were in.
When the shooting happened, she watched the News of that horrific events on a Screen in the Café where she was working. Thought for a few seconds, just a few, that he's dead. That he finally got himself fully out of the responsibility for his messed up family. No more money. No more explanations or fake promises or phone calls. Just a cold lifeless body somewhere in the morgue.
But then she had a panic attack. Because he's not allowed to be dead. Because somewhere inside her, there is still love for him. So she panicked and shivered and couldn't stop. Wasn't able to stop until she heard his voice, hours later, through her other Brother's phone. And even though the voice was weak and gravely, it was still calming for her, like it always has been.

"You're probably worried about the money. But that's what foundations are for. With your grades I wouldn't be surprised if we were able to get you several scholarships. You should know that there are way more Scholarships in the world than the one your brother got. There's always a way. You just have to tell me, and we'll figure it out. I don't want you to throw your chances away because of things that can be taken care of so fast. There's always a solve for every problem there might be!"

Alright. She wants to go to college. So badly. Dreams about it, because she is so desperate about this wish.
But Missy is wrong. There's not a solve for every problem.
What's the Point on spending money and heart and soul for a study, when you're ending in a Nut House in the End anyway, because of your stupid gene's. There's a 50% Percent Chance for her to follow her Mother and her other Brother's footstep and go Mental.
The Chance is probably higher because she takes care of a crazy Person. Maybe taking care of someone who's crazy makes you crazy in the End.
But that's the other Problem. Who would take care of her mom, when she's off to college? The Brother she should be so proud of didn't had to worry about that. Since he was the first in the row. He could leave without hesitation, because he knew there were still two people left who were able to take care of the Situation.
He probably didn't thought that in the end, everything came down to the youngest member in the family. The little Girl that her brothers always wanted to protect. No one expected that.
But when Aaron got crazy and tried to kill her, she's not only calling her eldest Brother because she wasn't able to take care of the whole Situation, she's calling because she somehow hopes, that he might come back home now and take over.
She could've told him. That she loves him and misses him. That she needs him because this is just too much to handle for her. But he taught her to lie. And she sees in his calming eyes, that he doesn't want to stay here. That he doesn't belong here anymore. Probably never did. So she says nothing about that, and just tells him that she's fine.

Miss Stupid let her go, probably totally disappointed that the young student is really as difficult to handle like everyone told her. But she told her emphatically to come and see her if she changes her mind. Because, like she said, there's a solve for everything.

The next morning, she watches her mother sleep and wonders, what her mom has in her live. If her mom's live is even worth living. She used to say that she doesn't want to live anymore. That she wants to die. Hell, she even tried to kill herself, several times, but always failed. Why shouldn't she let her do what she wanted to do? This was so simple. And a solve. What did Miss Coulter-Bateman say - there's a solve for everything? She could just stop giving her the medications. Or leaver her on her own. Everything else would just… turn out like it's supposed to turn out.
But when her mom woke up, she still gives her the pills.

May 17th was like every day. Ok, well, every time when her "Friend" Miss Coulter-Bateman came near her with her stupid cheery face, she turned around. She didn't need to hear that today was a special Day. Because it wasn't. Her mom would be like she was every day. Aaron, whom she visited several times a week in his new… home…, wouldn't know which Day it was or what it used to mean to her. And from her former Superhero she doesn't even expect a call or card.
But she still dressed up when she got from school. She wanted to feel pretty. Even when there was no one around who told her that she was.

Maybe Aaron would say it.

Maybe Today.

But he never got to see how pretty she was.

All that blood.

The Mirror shredded into pieces.

So much blood.

Red is a pretty color for a floor. Maybe she should paint the whole house with Red.

So. Much.

Someone, a nurse or a Doctor, she couldn't tell, asks her if she is ok. If she's injured – she probably asks that because of the dried blood, that still covers her arms and the pretty dress she bought with her very first money.
Or if she's searching for family members. That's actually right, but she doesn't answer her. Because the person she's searching for stands a few Meters away, stopping the conversation he just had, and looking at her, totally confused.
She thinks about yelling at him. Because she's terrified and mad right now. Instead, tears are forming into her eyes, and she trembles, and the words she planned are stuck in her throat. He quickly wraps his arms around her and tries to soothe her.
And she starts sobbing even harder, because that's exactly what she needs right now.
"I… can't do this… anymore."
"It's going to be okay. Whatever it is Amber, it's going to be okay."

She actually didn't want to spill it out. But she's here now. And she needs him now more than ever. And she's sick of lying.
"I want you to come home." She stops sobbing and looks him straight into the eyes. "Please come home."

AN: End. With an open End. And yeah, it's supposed to be open, the thing what Superhero will do or say now. And the other Question that maybe isn't answered: Wasn't planned, but I like it better that Way. :)