Chapter 1

Slightly AU.

As always I do not own criminal minds.

JJ made her way down into the bullpen her eyes casted over Elle's desk, "Has he said anything?" she asked.

Morgan sighed slightly "Only that she's given in her notice, but I get the impression there is more to it" JJ nodded slightly.

JJ knew Elle had more than likely been asked to leave though they all knew Hotch would keep it to himself like so many things. Whereas Gideon showed expression on his face or in his eyes when bad things happened or when a case had been solved and their victims released. But Hotch was stoic his face remind the same, his was one of the hardest profilers to read you never knew what he was thinking or feeling. Although he did show compassion sometimes.

JJ's heart had been ripped out, one girl dead, the other two girls would never be the same again. Three families ripped apart forever altered. The small town reminded her so much of home, but it never really was home not after her sister died. When she died something in the house died along with her, the only thing that helped JJ get through that was soccer and as they settled on the jet each one of them getting lost in their own thoughts all JJ could do was stare at a picture her two best friends growing up.

It had been a long flight back to DC maybe it felt longer because of how she felt, her heart was heavy, she had done this job for so long, worked with these people for years, she had seen so many things, so many victims and families being ripped apart, but now it was like someone was sat on her chest making it hard to breathe. How many times could they look into the abyss how many times before the cases they worked on destroyed them, each case taking more and more out of them?

Maybe it was because she could relate so well to the victim's, maybe it was because sometimes she would look at a victim's body and think that could be her. How many times could she lock herself away in her office before she lost herself?

The files in her office never altered, there always seemed to be so many officers asking for help, how many times she could be happy she made the right call, that the other cases weren't as important as the other. Though each day she would close the door going through each case file seeing which needed their help and ones that just needed a profile. How long before she made the wrong call.

JJ made her way towards Garcia's office, she was deflated, and she needed to escape, to be somewhere else, away from all this, away from her friends, her family. In truth the team was close they were a family each of them so different but it worked, they worked hard and even played hard when they went to the bar, they would watch on as Morgan danced with nearly every girl in there but yet they knew deep down he wasn't a player he was like them, blowing off steam after a hard case.

Garcia opened her door but the smile that lit her face soon vanished as she looked into dull blue eyes. "JJ what's wrong?" The concern evident in her voice. JJ could only give her a half smile she didn't have it in her to give anything else.

"I." JJ faltered slightly. "I need to get away Garcia" JJ said softly. The unnatural softness in her voice matched her eyes dull and broken.

They all knew the last case had taken it out of them it had ripped them apart but this in front of Garcia wasn't just about the case it was something much deeper than that, "How long for?" Garcia couldn't help asking.

JJ shrugged her shoulders "How much time have I got owing?" JJ asked.

Garcia's eyes went slightly wide. "Like the rest of the team, around six weeks" Garcia said carefully.

"Do you think I could use them all?"

"You want to take all your accrued days together?" Garcia asked carefully.

JJ nodded "Yes, I need to get away Pen"

"Is this because of the last case?" Garcia asked carefully. "Or because of Elle?"

JJ could only manage a half smile but even that was forced. "I just need to get away Pen, there isn't anything to it."

JJ sighed slightly, part of her wanted to take a sabbatical from work but she knew her job wouldn't stay open, her role was highly sort after, everyone wanted to be the face of the FBI, but as she knew not everyone could handle it and right now she was debating if she could handle it anymore, rubbing her face slightly she looked into concerned eyes.

"Don't look so worried I just need some me time." JJ finally said with a smile the last thing she wanted to do was burn out which happened a lot with the BAU teams. One team had already gone through 8 agents within 3yrs and yet this team was worked harder than the others. But JJ knew if she didn't take the time she would burn out.

"Do you have any idea of where you'd like to go?" Garcia asked as she pulled up a webpage.

"Somewhere that doesn't have cell reception?" she half joked. "Western?"

Garcia looked at her for a moment "You really want that much of a change?" she asked as she pulled up some websites for different states.

"Yes, I don't want anywhere near city life" JJ mused.

Garcia nodded "Okay so far we have Montana, Wyoming, North Dakota, South Dakota, New Mexico, Texas, and Oklahoma"

"Seriously? Seven states to choose from?" JJ asked as she looked at the websites.

"Unless you include California that would take it to eight" Garcia mused.

JJ sighed "Montana? Or maybe Wyoming." JJ paused.

"Well you could do both they are only a state across from each other" Garcia said softly.

"See what you can find me in Montana, please and Garcia not a word to anyone about this I need to clear it with Hotch first" Garcia nodded. "Promise me Pen" JJ said firmly.

"I promise kitten" she said softly. "You go and speak to the boss man and I'll see what I can find you" Garcia said softly which earned her a slight nod