Disclaimer: Despite, the many times I have prayed for a miracle I do not own The hobbit or LOTR. That would be J.R R Tolkien, sly minx.
"Today class we have a new student from England!" My teacher Mr Stroker (shudder) said. We weren't surprised, he'd been babbling on about a new girl since we re-started school, approximately five days ago. Anyway, I thought his bow tie would fly off from the amount of little jumps he was well...jumping. Funnily enough, he didn't actually introduce us to anyone because no one was there.
"Are you feeling okay sir?" Marie asked like the little stroker's pet she is. (Cue applause for my insults... none? Rude.) Everyone just stared at him while his piggy little face turned purple and he fainted. Great. Unfortunately, he soon recovered after the school nurse tried to drag him but tripped on his desk chair, resulting in the chair squashing poor Mr Stroker. Soon he was up and singing, literally, as soon as the new girl knocked on the door. He leaped, yes LEAPED, to the door like the prima ballerina he is. Admittedly, I did sometimes feel sorry for him, but then he trips or makes an unknown rude comment and the whole class is crying with laughter at him. Let's get on, so after leaping, I prayed that he wouldn't add on a pirouette, he opened the door. There stood the new girl. Unlike recent new people we've had, Marie, she didn't come in crying before tripping over the bin and plummeting to the ground flat on her face. She glided in not on roller skates (that would've been quite cool) but sort off walked in like a normal person. She had long blonde hair; I could see that it was long from the size of the bun on top of her head. She was very pale, being from England, though she didn't look ill pale like Stroker, though he was mostly red from the sweating and embarrassment of his class. Anyway, it seemed she had caught everyone's attention. To be completely honest, if I was a lesbian I would've gone straight for her. She smiled slightly, her smile soon dropping as she looked at Stroker's buck toothed, tomato face that gawked at her.
"Um...hi?" She said, damm I wanted a British accent. "Where should I sit?" She asked Stroker as he stood up, towering over her, though she must have been about 5"7. He scanned the room for a bit, as well as sniffing it.
"How about at the empty desk next to Jenny." He said simply. We all watched as she nodded and following his finger, she came and sat next to me. What?! Damm, I forgot my name was Jenny. When she was seated she sent me a small smile before turning to the front. "Sorry what is your name?" Stroker said picking up a piece of chalk. It had been supplied by... oh wait NO ONE because NO ONE in the 21st century uses a chalkboard apart from bloody Stroker here. Right, where was I?
"Ivy Musk." She replied. That had got to be one of the most beautiful names I heard ever. The girl turned and whispered her thanks. Shit, I said that out loud. Well class began, English to be exact. We were currently quoting Shakespeare because Stroker was a well known fan and knew a distant relative of him. I was almost tempted to stand up and congratulate him but decided against it as he started rubbing the board from where he had spelt 'thou' wrong. Leaning back in my chair, I exhaled and looked at the girl next to me. To my surprise, she wasn't grabbing every word Stroker said like Marie had, she became so interested that the elbow she was leaning on missed the desk and she fell off her chair. Poor Marie. Ivy was reading. Tempting not to disturb her, I poked her lightly on the arm. She turned and smiled. She was very smiley.
"What are you reading?" I asked as I had begun fiddling with the material of her jumper, I soon realised what I was doing and stopped.
"Lord of the Rings." She sighed. I nodded, good choice my amigo. She nodded back and I realised why she'd been called Ivy.
"It's your eyes isn't it?" I said nodding to myself, I'm such a genius. She looked startled for a while then looked back at her book.
"What?" She said, still reading.
"The colour of your eyes, that's why you are called Ivy!" I reached out for a knuckled punch but she looked at it wearily.
"As much as I want to knuckle punch you, I was called it because it was the name of my Grandmother, and all babies are born with blue eyes." She said grinning. I felt my face redden. Instead, I decided to change the subject.
"Favourite character?" I asked, she looked up again one perfectly plucked (look at me go) eyebrow raised. I nodded to the book, geez; mom always said that I was really vague with everything I said. Then again, mom does exaggerate about me, a lot.
"Hard one...has to be Gimli." She concluded. "Got the whole beard thing going on, love it." She said making a little 'O' shape with her thump and finger. I held out my hand for her to shake it, she looked at it and shook. "Firm grip." She said nodding her head.
"Court please come to attention that we have added a new member to the Gimli Appreciation Society. Round of applause for this wonderful specimen, Ivy Musk." Ivy looked at me and applauded herself quietly adding in a few whoops, sly devil. "The crowd goes wild!" I cried. That is when I realised that the whole class had been staring at us.
"Miss Pickett," Here we go, use my full name sir. I looked up at him and stood, wow I was spontaneous. No wonder I'd been split with my bezzie Carman, many, many times.
"Yes, my liege." I said bowing low, I could hear many nervous giggles from Ivy as well as some others and practically feel the hot eyes of Marie on my back. "If looks could kill, Marie eh?" I winked at her cheekily as I resurfaced from my bow.
"Miss Pickett." Goodness! Almost forgot he was there. "This is no time for your silliness. So, as you and Miss Musk were not paying attention, would you might explaining as to why Juliet killed herself." God, I don't know why don't you ask her?
"Umm, well it all seems clear Sir Stroker, she probably saw Romeo dead and thought of all the love making and babies they could be having, they might of thought about buying a house together, who knows? Maybe not over here as some are a bit pricey at the mo..." I watched his face redden, if it could redden anymore. Soon he looked like an oversized, lanky plum. Holding his hand up for me to stop, I did as my captain commanded and sat back down. Ivy was crying now, I looked at her startled but she held out her hand and smiled as I shook it.
"Oh captain, my captain." She laughed and saluted me. Look at me with a new friend, GO ME.
So dreadfully sorry, haven't exactly introduced myself have I? My name is Jennifer Mendril Pickett and as you can see I haven't been blessed by the name gods. Standing at 5"2, mega short ass, I have thick red hair that sits on my head like a dead animal. The only feature that I am complimented for are my freckles, who knew freckles were cute? I soon found out that compared to my new friend Ivy, I was ridiculously unfit. I am not fat before you all judge me, you were weren't you? As I am quite a confident being, you may be aware of that, I think I'm a rather pretty creature. I am eighteen years old and at the moment attend Waterbridge (very original) College located within the USA, not telling you where weirdo's! Here you have all sorts of cliques there are in films like Mean girls, and then there's me. Like my friend Ivy, I share a large interest into some of these things:
Lord of the Rings
Gimli
Sarcastic, witty comments.
Gimli
White toblerone chocolate that Ivy brought from England.
Unlike my friend Ivy, I have not been asked to join all the cliques in the school. Funnily, enough she rejected them all. SUCK ON THAT. Shall we get on now children? Ooh, let's not make that sound pervy, shall we? Great, moving on.
It was a cold, wet November evening when we emerged from the cheese smelling place that was the sports hall. Agreeing we'd join the Archery club seemed like a good idea, in the end. Anyway, we came out with aching arms, fingers and in Ivy's case, her rear end. Short story; I kicked her in the arse. Now you are entertained. So here we were, waiting blissfully for my mom to collect us. Being the cool cats we were, we were having a slumber party or as Ivy called it a 'sleepover' and were treating ourselves to a Lord of the Rings movie marathon. We were just talking mostly about Ivy's bruised bum when a man walked over to us; I could tell that his was not swagger but the fact that he was drunk. He walked past not giving us a second look. I was indeed fascinated; this was the profession I wanted to do. So I was so fascinated with this man that funnily enough I didn't notice the screech of car brakes and a high pitched scream of Ivy. Everything went...purple?
Thanks for reading! Left you on a cliffhanger haven't I? If some of you hadn't noticed, G.A.S stands for Gimli Appreciation Society, duh! Bon Voyage mon petit poi!