Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, its characters, it ideals, its blah blah everything - I'm not rich and I can't get rich doing this. You know the drill right? Copyright law and whatnot.
Author Notes: This fic is the brain child of an anon promopt from my ficsforfangirls tumblr account. It was as follows:
"can you write a spn fanfic where Castiel has to rescue Claire, and he puts up a fight to get her, which ends up getting her really hurt and as she's dying in Castiels arms, she keeps thinking he's Jimmy? really fluffy/angst :)"
There are spoilers for things that have happened in Season 10. This is my warning to you. Don't read it if you don't want spoilers.
And so this fic. Please read & enjoy my interpretation of the request. R&R lovlies.
The trouble with humans is that most of them are a thousand times more capable than they actually behave. No matter how many times I stick my neck out to maintain the integrity of God's will nobody seems to actually care. Of course, I am not blind enough to know why. The mistake many make is the belief that angels are perfect. We are not. We are not. Unfortunately, I find that humans are the ones that care the least about any measures taken for their protection.
For example - Oh, that mission will definitely kill my brother – don't do that one. It might save the entirety of humanity but I can't live without my brother because there are no humans to replace him.
I understand but simultaneously underestimate their devotion to one another. Many a time I have been guilty of doing things for both Sam and Dean that were selfish. It is a weakness I hope to expunge from my mind in due time. Today is not that day, though. I cannot make this change until I act once more in favor of just a single person. The same person I'm watching taps her fingers vigorously on the wheel of a car that she definitely stole.
I caught wind that Claire has chosen to become a hunter. At first I was going to have Sam or Dean reach out to her but neither of these things seemed plausible. It failed once before and is likely to fail again. Claire hates the Winchesters, probably more than she hates me for destroying up her entire family. It was a good family. I will never forget Jimmy's feelings of fondness towards them. God would have been proud of them, as I was when I was a better angel.
Suddenly she jumps from the car and heads into a house clad in several layers of pleather. Instinct is begging me to go into the house but after her last rejections of my assistance I am choosing to keep a distance. At least I will do so until a 'raucous' is made; in which case I am wholly obligated to ensure nothing threatens the life of a human. Surprisingly five minutes go by before someone leaves the house. It is a lanky young man grinning wildly. I don't have to question myself because I know immediately that he is a vampire.
I move quickly. One, two, three, four, six, ten, fifteen vampires are gone. I've barely spared any effort, especially with proper grace – my grace. Power writhing through my body reminds me of the angel I once was and how far I've come since then. Victim to another mortal folly, reminiscence, I recall the purpose for my presence in this sad city in South Dakota. I find Claire laying limp over a coffee table. Feelings of confliction become overwhelming.
Upon closer review, Claire's injuries are minimal. This would have been good in every other circumstance except for this instance. A small bite is just below Claire's ear. Her bite is in such a way that she will turn, I know it; and if I don't get her to the Winchesters then she will inevitably taste human blood and become a threat to others. I do not intend to let it go that far. I grab her shoulder almost violently and will myself to the bunker.
Once there I drop Claire into a chair and shout for Sam. He is overly attached to his brother, it is true, and clings to him for whatever sanity he thinks he has remaining. However, he has proven to be of clearer mind in times of urgency. He is also quite near a genius and capable of a great variety of things. Things that will ultimately cure Claire and give her the chance that she deserves to make something of her life. As a human, I'm praying.
"Hey Cas…" Sam begins until he fully rounds the corner and spots Claire unconscious in the chair. Under any other circumstance I'd have tied her down to minimize the danger. However, her body is in shock from the changes taking place. Claire is likely to be out for several hours. Sam inches closer and I tilt her head angrily to expose the bite marks. Nodding he calls for Dean.
I watch Dean stroll in with a beer in his hand a scowl on his face, a look that hasn't left his face since getting the Mark of Cain. Most days I hate him for agreeing to become this monster. Not to mention, it officially makes him an enemy of Heaven; and therefore, an enemy to me as angel. Then there are times when I recognize the power that he has and consider myself lucky that we are allies.
Today I am indifferent to him and present my quandary, "Claire is going to become a vampire." Dean looks over her with cold eyes. Sam nudges him and tells him to go get everything that they need in order to cure her. Even though he bobbles his head in acceptance of the command, he does linger with concern etched into his feature. I narrow my gaze upon him and find myself wondering whether my indifference will sway.
"Ain't had a sip yet, has she?" I seem to have wrongfully expected him to argue. When I indicate my confirmation to him that she can still be cured then he finally takes off to another room. Sam pulls me aside to a safe distance so that Claire can be monitored but far enough that the conversation won't disturb her. It is my judgment that it won't matter but I comply with the standard.
Sam asks me to explain exactly what has happened, and so I do. By the time I am finished Dean has returned with a small box of items. Sam goes through them and starts concocting the cure without a second thought. It comes very naturally to him and is obviously something that he has memorized.
"Never could quite understand why angels can't cure things like this. Would make lives easier, don't ya think?" His voice is gruff and it begs me to be calm. My fondness of him in particular causes me grief regularly but my concern for Claire seems to outweigh my preference. Thankfully.
I look at him for only a moment, "The answer for that is probably in a tablet that we can't read." Dean grins – a rarity - and takes a swig of his beer. I missed the fact that it remained but I should have known he would still have it. He borders alcoholism frequently. Nobody is surprised and typically accepts Deans flaws as 'expected under the circumstances.' Humans have an insurmountable of unaccountability. When his arm bends up I catch sight of the scar tissue. Simply seeing the Mark on his arm awakes the thickest sorrowful rage.
In the tendrils of silences and ignored discontent, something seems to happen with Claire. Sam howls and is trying to get away from the poor young girl, heel planted firmly in her lap. When I am able to get a clearer view of what's happening, I can't believe my eyes. Claire has blood dripping from her mouth and she's screaming in fear.
"Daddy! Daddy, help me!" When she stops crying and sees me she leaps several feet from her seat. She lands on her hands and knees. Once she is able to get back up she throttles herself into my chest. Claire's sobs are the definition of uncontrollable. A small part of Jimmy Novak's paternal instincts encourage me to wrap my arms around her and hush her in the most soothing tone I can manage.
"Claire, please calm down." Even though I am an angel, the icy realization of her fate settles over my gut. Feeling every bit as human as the two men now gawking at me – I just grit my teeth. "Please?"
The forced question isn't just for Claire but for the Winchesters as well. Hunting Monsters, Saving People – The Family Business. They have to know I expect them to make an exception and allow Claire to live. She can learn to control her affliction. Her youth assures that progress is attainable almost absolutely. It will not be a wonderful life by any means but until she's experienced certain things, important things, she must be allowed to continue. Sam passes the antidote to Dean who administers it so that there will be no other vampires in the bunker.
Meanwhile I bring Claire to a bench nearby and sit angled towards her as tears flood her cheeks. Slowly her features are paling, somehow more so than she was already. Her eyes are starting to reflect her growing bloodlust. I see her teetering back and forth but it surprises me. It hurts me. No amount of knowledge prepares someone for something as painful as watching your child die… Watching your child do something worse than die.
And she's not even my child. She is the child of my vessel. The Winchesters reminded me of this frequently, as did teenaged Claire. I am not her father, only my body. My care for her has not once been dwindled by their discouragement. This could be lifesaving for her, too, and I secretly hope that a 'thank you' will be in order.
"Daddy, what's happening to me? I'm so hungry. Why am I hungry daddy?" Innocence leaks from her lips but it is only an echo. A reverberated noise from the childhood of a girl literally losing her mind during the transformation; I scrunch my brows in a way I am sure is far from comforting.
And then I ask, "Let's calm down. Can you tell me your name and your age, sweetheart?" She eyeballs me with concern. Panic is setting in and her body trembles under my firm grip. It could be seconds, it could be minutes; whatever it could be, though, it certainly went quicker than Cas had been expecting.
"Are you dumb or did you really forget who I am? Do you forget your victims that easily?" Back to normal, Claire responds as sarcastically as I imagined she would have in her right mind. I try to explain that a vampire has attacked her and that she's changing. Her resistance to the truth throws her mind back, though.
The crying resumes twice as badly as it had been before and I accept that I'm not the right person to be doing this job. I am not a father in spite of how much I try to be one for her. I will never be 'fit' enough to be with children. As I watch her transform into a monster the only thing I can do is offer her a glass of water.
She says that she wants to come with and I tell her that she's too weak to walk. "Stay here, Claire."
A quick nod gives me the assurance that she will comply. But as I go, "Am I dying, daddy? You didn't call me Claire-Bear. You and mommy only do that when you're scared." I return to her side and bend down with robotic movement. Kissing her forehead is simple enough and I appear to have done it convincingly.
"You're fine but you really need some water. I'll be right back." As soon as I spit these words out I am spun around and heading to the kitchen. I can see already that Dean has his gaze firmly planted on her. To him she is just another case, another target, but I willingly ignore this detail. Instead I listen to Sam explaining how it is that Claire is forgetting that I'm Castiel and not Jimmy Novak.
"Sometimes when someone experiences something traumatic they revert to an earlier state of mind. They regress so much that they forget events in their life have occurred. Claire's body is changing from the vamp venom. She was already pretty troubled to begin with so it makes sense." As satisfied I am with Sam's intellect and capability, in this instance I realize that all I want to hear them discussing is how they plan to keep her alive without being hunted.
"Can she stay here until I find a more suitable location?" I ask them while making my way nearer to the kitchen. Sam opens his mouth to question me, most likely on my plan. Sam is rightfully skeptical after our plan with Metatron failed. As a smart man, though, he recognizes that some of his own plans have failed. I think he also understands that I can call him out on his temporary alliance with Rowena. He certainly wouldn't want that exposed, would he? I convey with my eyes the threat I silently make to him.
It surprises me when his brother speaks first; "Cas, I'm sorry, but we can't let her go. She is unstable and I am not chancing her making others or hurting anyone. Damn near got Sammy, man. That kid is too angry and too unpredictable." The only respectable thing about him when he dissents is that he is at least speaking in a low tone. It is unlikely, in the pain she's in, that Claire can hear him. I will not accept this answer so I pretend to not have heard it. When I pass by with a full glass of water I ask them again.
"Is there a safe house where I can take her, perhaps?" Claire smiles when she sees me again but it is fleeting. She shifts again and sneers, complaining that the water isn't going to float to her by magic – which she follows up with the epiphany that magic is probably real and that it probably is possible that things could float to her if she really wanted. I sigh in defeat and rejoin her.
I give her the glass, "Thank you, Jimmery-do-dad." The laugh is mindless, effortless, free. She's gone again and I must continue acting as though I am Jimmy Novak. If I hadn't known the pain of loss I am sure that I do now.
We speak briefly about going to the doctor in the morning, and making sure we get a note for school. Eventually she lies down and puts her head in my lap. I let her remain there knowing that it brings her comfort, at least in her digressed state; "Put your hand on my forehead, daddy. It keeps the bad dreams away." Little does she know that she's living in one of those bad dreams! They can't get in her head because a nightmare is already taking over her entire body.
I find this pain particularly moving and feel a tear falling down my cheek. Having been so consumed by Claire it seems I missed the Winchesters leaving the room. They are nowhere in sight. The young girl lies so still and with such a calm. I find it difficult to believe that she would ever be a threat to others. The things that she doesn't know, the things she can't understand; Claire would harm nobody if left alive.
Carefully moving Claire off of me, I decide to seek out Sam and Dean to ask again if there is someplace that we can go for the time being – at least until I can train her to drink from animals. Sam is sitting in his room and looks odd. His face is contorted with concern. It's almost apologetic. I believe it is because Dean has proven to be every bit as insensitive as the stories of his condition would say.
"I understand your obligation as Hunters, Sam, but I am not asking you to keep her alive. I am telling you." His face is unmoving beyond the slightest parting of his lips as he lets go of a breath he must have been holding. I approach him to be clearer in my reasoning, and also my demand, "Many times you have bent the rules to save your brother. Dean has done it more times than can be counted for you, for your dad, for his friends. You allow monsters to live if they do no ask for their punishments. Claire did not ask for this."
It would seem, though, that I was incorrect in my initial judgments. Seconds later there's a high-pitched yowl from the other room. Sam stands up and shouts something but I don't care to hear it. When I appear by Deans side, hands bloodied from his attack, I cannot put my thoughts into words.
"It's okay, Daddy," Claire begins. The young Claire who has yet to know what she will lose to humanity. But before she can further comfort me she is gone again, "I had nothing left for you take, anyway." Abhorrence taints my grace. Not just Claire's but my own as well. My emotions on the responsibility I had for this girl's life were perfectly clear. Dean knew especially well. I have confided in him personally as a friend on the matter. His betrayal this time is one I will never forgive.
My tattered wings expand and reveal that whatever purity of my angelic status to be erased. This threat forces Dean's eyes to flash that demonic black he is surely familiar with now. An evil smile and a split second later he is just as plain as he has ever been. But he knows. Neither of us needs to speak to know it happened.
"Dean Winchester, today you have made an enemy of me. I will see you dead before I see you saved." Claire will be avenged. I will guarantee it.
A/N 2: I have left this ending open just in case I choose to continue it in the future. If I do, I'd make it a separate story so always be watchful just in case ;)