Where do we go from here?

Dear all,

I dedicate this story to a person who was, and still is, constantly coming back to my memory at odd times. An anonymous saying goes, 'It's not missing you that kills me... It's knowing I once had you in my life that does.' Reviews and comments are deeply welcome for there is nothing I would love more than knowing that there are people reading this story. Understanding that time is very precious from experience, I appreciate the time you spend here, with me, in this tale. ;)

-Rheia

Currently on the bookshelf:

Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

There is many a thing mentioned in this book which we can connect with and learn from. Better than chicken soup, this book inspires me in more ways than one.

Disclaimer: Sailormoon and its characters are in no way belonging to me. I lay claim on only this fiction. (Couldn't be simpler than that. So don't sue. :p anyway, I've never honestly believed that anyone really would. --;;)

Where do we go from here?

By, Rheia

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Each book in the library has a story which will never happen in reality –

But as you fall in love,

reality becomes a wonderful story not found in any book.

-Quoted from Boys Be-

All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone to make us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope, all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, someone perfect is searching for us.

-The Wonder Years-

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Usagi knew that it was lust at the first sight the moment she laid her eyes on him. Hell, she hardly doubted any sane hot-blooded women would NOT feel the same thing by just gazing at the sexy and lanky 6-foot-and-1-inch body of his. Her cerulean eyes instantaneously settled on him the moment she stepped into the crowded room. He almost seemed like an angel to her (if one could actually call a guy that). There was this unfathomable air around him that she could not place her dainty fingers to, no matter from which angle she tried viewing the problem with. Nevertheless, what she can be sure of was that there was an immediate and frighteningly insatiable attraction which drew her to him.

It was very much like two opposite ends of the magnet being brought near each other. Far away, they would just be normal metals. But once brought to a considerably close distance, the magnetic force which instantly attracted and bonded them was fierce, fast and hard. The shameless intensity of her gaze on him surprised even herself. Yet she could not stop herself from looking even if she wanted to.

It was then he suddenly paused talking. He hesitated and pursed his lips as if in thought, then almost instinctively turned his head at her direction. The hair at the back of his neck pricked and tried to tell him of something.

Like a deer caught in the headlights, she wanted to turn her head away, but it just refused to bulge. Swallowing a lump formed in her throat, she unconsciously moistened her lips. They felt dry since the moment she entered the room. She could feel that his eyes narrowed though he was more than 20 meters away. It was impossible to possibly feel these things, but she was instinctively aware of him gulping the lump in HIS throat.

The temperature in the room seemed to have risen over 10 degrees in a short span of time. She was not sure about his, but her world seemed to have stopped and changed infinitely. She knew it was cliché to describe her emotions as such things which could only happen in novels, but she could think of no way else to depict all the sensations she was feeling.

She had no idea how long them spent staring at each other. Unconsciously, she knew that the world was still moving at its normal pace around them. People were still busy, walking or some were rushing around, yakking away with each other. The room was still hectic and very much full of activity. It almost felt weird to her that no one else noticed the tension which grew so much and so fast. The world just evolved normally around two souls who suddenly were very much aware of each other's existence. There were only the both of them standing on the planet. In her eyes, she could see only him.

Angling her head, she raised her eyebrows absentmindedly and her cool blue eyes widened slightly when he strode purposefully towards her. In his stride, there was confidence and mystique. Like there was something between her and him that only they themselves knew of.

He stopped short in front of her. She had never been tall all her life. With a bit of melancholy, she tilted her head in order to look at him in the eye. He had the most beautiful pair of eyes she had ever seen. His eyes were of the colour caught beautifully between midnight blue and sapphire.

She could feel the beautiful pair of orbs searched her face as if looking for something. She could not put a valid description to his expression. It felt so soft… but intense at the same time.

He spoke first. "Hey." His voice was rich, deep and full of texture.

"Hey yourself." A gentle smile graced her pink lips and he thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"How may I be of service to you, Miss…?"

"Tsukino."

He echoed, "Miss Tsukino," and gave her one of his most dazzling smiles. For the first time, he was truly glad he was blessed with a set of perfect white teeth and did not have to spend an obscene amount on trips to the dentist. He thought her name suited her perfectly… just like everything else about her. With a gorgeous milky blue sundress that flirted with her knees, a simple silver chain hung around her neck and the largest and with the most gorgeous blue eyes on the prettiest heart-shaped face ever, she was the prettiest little thing ever.

"Hmm…," Looking around nervously, she moistened her lips again which made him felt like kissing every inch of them. "I'm not exactly sure what I'd like… but mind giving me a new hairdo? I'm quite tired of these limp locks and would like a new style; something different and fresh perhaps." Those locks she called limp, he noticed, were not in a bad condition. Just a bit of snip here and there and perhaps adding some soft curls, she would look perfect, if she was not already.

"That's precisely what I'm here for, darling." Her heart fluttered at the callous endearment. He might not meant it truly, but she would settle with what she can get for now.

Lightly, he held her hand to guide her to an empty spot at the corner of the shop. All the while she was feeling like the giddiest girl in the world. I am already almost 19 of age, she thought with disdain. His hands were gentle and strong, and she liked that quality in men.

She settled herself on the seat in front of the mirror, and looked at his reflection in front of her. His hands rest on her shoulders and massaged them slightly to ease the knot she felt in them all morning. She was glad this morning was working out to be better than she expected. All because she met one hell of a sexy hairdresser with long wispy black locks framing his face, falling over his beautiful eyes. This was the first time she came to this salon after her friend's recommendation but she wished she could have visit sooner.

His long fingers combed through her light-coloured hair, testing and examining them. His face was in an almost intense concentration to decide on what to do with her hair. She gave him the permission to freely change her hairstyle according to his liking. This was the kind of customer he liked best. They allowed him to play around and create his own style without giving much limitation other than the occasional 'please do not cut the back/fringe too short'. He got to express himself freely and fully squeeze his creativity juice. This was one of the perks of this job which he loved.

After a minute longer, he had decided. Smiling, he told her, "Come, let's get your hair washed and blow-dry first before I begin cutting and styling them." Within just less than an hour of knowing him, she knew she had grown to love his smile.

She teased him, "You know I'm trusting you with my life right? If I end up looking like some circus freak in a va-va-voom and much too complex hairdo, I'd rather grovel and dig a hole to hide myself in embarrassment than to face my family and friends ever again."

With a teasing look in his eyes, he said, "Yeah I know all about girls and this crazy thing they got known as vanity. I accidentally screwed up a customer's hairdo on my first day of work not too long ago and she screamed and fussed about it so terribly till she got the whole team in the shop trying to repair the damage. Needless to say, she never stepped into the shop since and I was fired the very next day."

"Uh huh. I'll remember that. Please... don't mess this up. I don't scream and fuss, I just kill silently and hide your body somewhere no one will be able to find it."

"Sounds like a sexy and dangerous task to me."

"You bet." She gave him a challenging look with a sexy smile hanging on her face. She was lying on a long sofa and her head dipped in the wash basin. As he massaged her head gently with the soapy foam, she almost felt like moaning. "You know what, you are really good at this. Perhaps could consider being a massager if you ever lose this job again due to highly vain girls."

"Nope… this is only preferential treatment. I don't knead for everyone."

She tried to hide the blush creeping up on her face. Rolling her eyes, she said with indifferent. "Oh wow. So I should feel so terribly honoured and privileged."

"You can always repay my huge kindness and generosity by enlightening me with your name."

She could not help the growing smirk and laughter bubbled on her throat. "Usagi. Tsukino Usagi."

"Usagi…," The name rolled off his tongue effortlessly, it was as if he had known it since forever. "I'm Mamoru."

Smiling wryly, Usagi commented, "I didn't exactly ask for yours, you know?"

"I know. You can just pretend you never heard it then."

"Okay, I'll just assume I've never heard it before." He was giving her the softest rubbing on her scalp with the shampoo. He was looking at her upside-down. She gazed into right into his deep eyes, and said softly, "So, barber man, what's your name?"

"Mamoru. Chiba Mamoru… In case you didn't get it right the first time around."

Of course she heard it right the first time, she only wanted to keep the conversation flowing and hear his cool and baritone voice longer. She was starting to have the eerie suspicion that his voice alone could create butterflies in her stomach. Mamoru. To protect. For a moment, she wished wistfully that she was the one that he was destined to hug and protect possessively. "I thought I never heard it the first time."

"If you say so." He winked at her and helped her to her feet after wrapping a soft fluffy towel around her wet hair.

Mamoru led the way back to her seat and no longer had his hands on her elbow. Almost too soon, she missed his touch.

Usagi pursed her lips as she watched him work with deep concentration. He was really engrossed in his work of cutting her locks. Every few minutes, he would stop and measured his progress before continuing on. She felt it was almost rude to disturb him. Furthermore, she settled herself with watching his face deep at work. He really was very cute, she mused.

"See something you like?" Mamoru broke the silence, caught her stare and looked into her eyes in the mirror. He could practically feel the sizzling atmosphere cracked around them. He had been much too aware of her looking at him a few times as he worked on her hair, though he had refused to acknowledge it.

"I-I think I like what you're doing to my hair."

Grinning, he resisted calling her a liar. "You haven't seen nothing yet, dear. Trust me, you'll look gorgeous when I'm done." If you were not already. "By the way, don't feel uncomfortable. You're welcome to watch me work. I like the distraction." The way you look at me made me want to spin your chair around and kissed you senseless. He kept silent and went back to his work.

A small tint of pink graced her cheeks. She had not felt such light-heartedness for a long time. It was definitely not her style to gaze shamelessly at people until they felt incline to tend to her needs themselves. She felt rather embarrassed remembering how she had stared at him the moment she entered the salon. She truly hoped that he did not think too badly of her and felt like she was demanding for his service. She had rather bury her face in embarrassment than have him think of her that way.

It was almost too soon when Mamoru was done with his job. She had to take a double look at herself before believing that it was truly her reflection staring back. He had created a very soft and gentle look out of the golden locks framing her face. He gave them some small bouncy curls which fell naturally upon her shoulders. Part of her fringe covered her forehead and was allowed to reach her eyes.

Some gentle wisps of blonde strands were out of the perfect order, creating a somewhat natural look on her. He was indeed very talented, she mused and wondered how long had he been in the industry. Judging from his appearance, he could not be more than 25 of age but she would not be surprised if he was actually older than that. There was a deep and pensive understanding in his eyes which could only be developed with age. The laugh lines near his thin lips and kind twinkling eyes betrayed his age and made him look younger than he actually was.

"Thank you… I-It's a good job."

"You don't have to worry about trying to kill me then." Leaning down and begun kneading on her stiff shoulders again, Mamoru whispered into her ears, "Though I admit that I was looking forward to seeing you try though." His lips gently caressed the sensitive spot of her almost pink ear and his body blocked them from public view.

Usagi could not resist swallowing another gulp formed in her throat, before turning to confront him. Their faces were inches apart, their lips were less. She could smell the sexy and musky cologne which was distinctively his alone. Egoiste Platinum blended perfectly with his natural roses scent. She would never think of the cologne the same way again for the rest of her life.

She could not resist her eyes from being drawn involuntarily to the masculine curve of his lips and moistened her own unconsciously. Vaguely, she heard his sharp intake of breathe and the next thing she knew was that he had sprung some distance away.

Mamoru pursed his mouth tightly and had to look away to put his emotions in check. He was glad that his face was cool and calm, but he had to put a huge effort into controlling his ragged breathing. He could not believe the pint-size of a girl he knew for barely two hours could almost too easily churn out baffling feelings he could not identify.

To save both of them the embarrassment and awkwardness, Usagi stood up and headed to the counter to settle the bill for the service. She intentionally avoided his eyes but she could feel his burning gaze on her back. The emotions in her eyes at the moment were too obvious and far too raw. She had never been able to hide her emotions well since young, however with him, she felt like an open book. So long as she was not ready to deal with her confused thoughts yet, she was not going to allow another person to see them.

As soon as Usagi stepped out of the salon door, she felt relieved. It was just her hormones going overboard, she had to tell and reassure herself. Or perhaps it was the time of the month coming which probably explained her whirlwind emotions. She knew far too many times of women being emotionally unstable when their monthly auntie arrived. She was confirmed Rei was mentally deranged and nothing short of a monster when during those times.

Furthermore, she had not been with a man for a far too long a period of time and had not had much experience with the male species before. The instantaneous combustion could be due to her longing for male company. The flame Mamoru raised in the pit of her stomach was possibly due to her long-term loneliness and isolation from the opposite sex. Was I really starting to become desperate? She shuddered and blushed. Squeezing her eyes in mortification, she refused to go deeper along that line of thought.

In addition, twisting the silver ring on the chain around her neck, she had to remind herself that she was engaged. She should certainly not have any feelings, let alone embarrassing impish thoughts about another guy. It was just not right, she berated herself again and again.

Usagi barely took ten steps down the road, when strong hands grabbed her arms and spun her around. Eyes widened, she was stunned and stared at the dark expression on Mamoru's features.

"You can't just walk away like that, you know!"

Her confusion was replaced too quickly with anger. She bit back sarcastically, "Oh really. Says who?"

Who did he think he was to question her every step and decision? She scarcely even knew him for more than two hours. Other than his name and job, she knew next to nothing about him. Sure, she might have unconsciously flirted with him (any normal women in their right mind would anyway) with her long gazes, but that was all. Why was he being so damn persistent? A part of her was thrilled that he pursued after her, but the rational part of her was afraid to bring them to another level above mere flirting.

"Okay look, I'm sorry I stepped on your royal toes for whatever reasons I can't fathom. But I feel that it was just rude of you to go off like that… without a proper thank-you or goodbye," Goodbye, my ass. Like hell he was going to allow a woman who could evoke such strong feelings in him to slide away. "I spent so much time on your hair. When you just leave like that, I felt almost insulted."

Usagi decided there and then that no one in the world, at least none on the female side, could possibly resist him when he turned his charm full on; which was what exactly he was doing now. Shrugging, she managed to utter, "Okay… if it really matters to you, though I have no idea why…"

Neither do I, babe, neither do I.

"…Thank you for your wonderful job. I love the hair. And goodbye, Mamoru."

"Ah, you're welcome. Don't forget to pay us another visit soon. To maintain the hairdo, it needs plenty of attention and trimming once in a while. I can even give you a few very useful tips on hair care. Like the massage, this is a preferential and privileged offer." Mamoru flashed a perfect grin and winked at her.

"Well… yeah, thanks. I'll keep that in mind." Usagi smiled awkwardly. She was flattered but this was moving too fast for her. No guy she was attracted to have ever been so relentless and persistent.

"To cut the waiting time short, you can call in earlier to book an appointment. Here's my card." He took her hand and gently shoved his readied rectangular business card into her small palm. "Feel free to call anytime."

Mamoru looked so incredibly cute with the anxious look in his eyes which he was trying to hide unsuccessfully. Her heart completely swelled and did a double somersault like an agile gymnast. She felt like she could be happy for days and days after this.

Usagi felt ridiculously young again, like when her first crush asked her out on her first date. Only this time it was better. She felt that he too had looked younger and more vibrant. She truly loved his twinkling eyes, if she had not before.

She gazed at the warm hands around hers, then back into his earnest face. Unconsciously pushing ring on the chain around her neck back into her dress, a pretty smile curved on her lips. "I will."

Not 'I might' or 'I could', he rejoiced.

It was a promise. An agreement. An unwritten contract.

And he trusted her.

Letting go her hand, he gave her a lazy but satisfied grin. Without another word, he turned and strode back up the street into his salon without a backward look.

Usagi was left staring at his back this time around. There was a certain lightness in his walk that was not there before.

She was right. He was really incredibly cute when he was not dead sexy.