A/N: Hey! silentwolf111 here! First things first: the disclaimer. To make things more interesting, let me give it to you in the form of a haiku:

I am not a boy

So I can't obviously

Be Rick Riordan ;)

Awesome, huh? Eat your heart out, Apollo; there's a new poetry master in town! Anyway, I am not Mr. Riordan, so I don't own PJO. Secondly, please take the time to review; I really appreciate the constructive criticism, and I am always open to suggestions to improve my writing! Lastly, and certainly most important, enjoy the story! Thanks for reading!

AND NOW PRESENTING...

HEPHAESTUS TV? NOT ANYMORE...

PROLOGUE

A normal day at Olympus: Poseidon and Athena with their usual rivalry, Demeter arguing with Aphrodite that cereal is more important than love, Dionysus passed out on the couch, Apollo reciting haikus (with an angry Artemis right behind him, of course), and the others taking it all in. Zeus, however, had noticed something not quite right.

"Has anyone seen-" he began.

The bickering just got louder.

"Excuse me," he tried again.

Again, no response.

"SILENCE!" Zeus cried in a thundering voice.

Immediately, the throne room was perfectly quiet, except for a drowsy Dionysus who had just woken up.

"Wha-?"

Zeus cleared his throat.

"Much better. Now, as I was trying to say, has anyone seen Hephaestus?"

The gods looked around the room.

"Probably working on something at his workshop," Demeter mumbled.

"Hermes," Zeus ordered. "Find Hephaestus and see what he's up to, would you?"

"Right away," Hermes said as he walked out of the room.

HEPHAESTUS'S POV

I groaned. What to do, what to do! I needed ideas, and quickly. I put my head in my hands and sighed.

Someone knocked, and I heard a voice.

"You there, Hephaestus?"

"Come in," I called back, my voice muffled by my hands.

The door opened, and Hermes walked in.

"You okay?" he asked.

I lifted my head up.

"I'm all right. I just need ideas!"

"What for?"

"My television channel. The ratings are low, and I need more gods to view it!"

Hermes tilted his head and started to think.

"What about you add new shows?"

I considered this idea.

"Now why the Hades would I do that?"

Hermes sighed.

"We gods are starting to get tired of seeing Ares and Aphrodite every time they get together. It's the only thing on Hephaestus TV!"

"But Aphrodite is-"

"-Cheating on you, we know." Hermes said this as if he had been told this ten thousand times.

Hermes continued.

"What you need to brighten up your channel is some new shows! You know, things that appeal to all gods."

"And how exactly am I going to come up with an idea that all the gods like?"

Hermes paused for a moment, and snapped his fingers after a few seconds.

"I got it! Why don't you ask each of the gods to come up with their own shows? That way, we're all equally represented, and you get more viewers."

I thought about this, and decided that I liked the idea.

"Hmm… that will do! I must get started right away, there is so much to do! We must make the announcement at once!"

Hermes and I went to the throne room, where the other gods were already seated waiting for me.

"Well?" Zeus asked.

"I have an announcement to make." I declared.

"If it's about Aphrodite, we don't want to hear it," Hera grumbled.

I shot her a look, and continued.

"I can assure you that it is not about my wife. Anyway, I have a favor to ask from all of you. As you already know, my television channel currently has only 1 show."

I saw Aphrodite and Ares shift uncomfortably out of the corner of my eye.

"I need to get my ratings up so more gods will view the channel. This is where you come in; I need you all to come up with 1 show each that will be played on Hephaestus TV regularly. It can be about anything you like, as long as it's somewhat entertaining."

There were excited murmurs exchanged around the throne room. Apollo raised his hand as if he were still in school. Artemis glanced at him and rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Apollo?"

"So it can be about anything? As in, anything?"

"I guess so."

Apollo smiled slyly, and I could tell he was coming up with ideas that would either boast his "awesomeness" or annoy Artemis. Most likely both.

"So, are you all good with the idea?" I asked.

"Yes, we'll do it." The gods answered in unison.

"I'll bet my show is going to be better than Sea Spawn's," Athena said matter-of-factly.

"Oh yeah? I bet my show is going to get way more viewers than yours." Poseidon replied with an annoyed tone in his voice.

"Not a chance. My show is going to be purely educational, and…" Athena and Poseidon kept arguing over whose show will outdo the other's.

Hestia glanced their direction with a somewhat sad and tired expression. I sent her a sympathetic smile to let her know I was feeling the same way. I turned to walk out of the throne room, wondering how I was actually related to these guys.