Plus/Minus
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its respectable owners. I'm only borrowing.
A/N: This little one-shot came into being after a discussion about pregnancy scares, and I couldn't help but think what would happen if it would have happened between our favorite couple, since they seemed to be going for it like rabbits in the last season. I know this has been done several times, but this is my take on it, and I hope you'll enjoy.
Edit: I had a little problem and this story got accidentally deleted *smacks head* I really am sorry to those who were so kind to leave such excellent reviews. But this is the original story. Sorry guys.
They sat on each end of the sofa, so near each other yet so far away. Both of them were completely silent, but even the silence between them was loud and provocative.
He sneaked a sideways glance at her completely still form and followed her gaze that was fixed on the white stick on the coffee table. He wet his lips nervously. His hand twitched slightly towards her but she showed no sign of movement. He kept his hand still on the black leather of the couch until he timidly moved it away and clasped it with his other. His eyes moved again to the white stick, but darted them quickly away to the clock on the wall. Only one minute left until the truth that was tearing them oh so slowly apart would finally be revealed. He couldn't help but think back on the unfortunate yet remarkable events that led to where they were now. He stole a glance at the woman beside him; the woman that his three- size –too- small heart had managed to love with such passion. He looked back at the stick, the key to their unresolved problems, and his mind rewind to the day exactly one week before. Before everything turned into the chaotic mess they were in right now.
It was Thursday, exactly ten minutes over seven in the morning; a seemingly normal day in their usually hectic lives. Their days had settled into a nice routine; she woke up with the birds, all glorious and perfect while he- well, he just slept through her morning rituals, he really didn't care about the morning charade to the extent she did.
That morning he had woken up, like usual by Rachel's screeching (she was having a phase where she refused to eat anything her mother made for her. He couldn't help but agree with the kid). He had lazily gotten dressed and headed into the kitchen where the first problem began.
Cuddy stood in the kitchen, her glorious amazing body taunting him with its amazingness. All hips and boobs, and he like the man he was, ogled like an idiot. That fact did not go unnoticed because she started to shriek like a hyena for no apparent reason.
"House! Will you listen to me for one minute!"
His eyes flicked away from her breasts and up to her very angry face. She put her hands on her hips irritatingly.
"I have a meeting at eight. Can you watch out for Rachel until Marina get's here?"
She said while picking up the bowl her three year old had thrown on the floor.
"Ah. Today is not good for me. I have this patient-"
"Goddamn it House!" She cried out, and stomped her heel on the ground.
"Why can't you ever do anything for me, just for once. I told you I have an important meeting. Your patient can probably wait for an hour." Her face had turned red with anger, her eyes wide and mad.
"Fine, fine. I'll do it." He said submissively.
"You know what, it doesn't matter. I'll just ask the neighbor to watch over her. " She picked up Rachel from her highchair and carried her out of the kitchen. House stared after her dumbfounded. He walked after her, his hands rising halfway in the air as a sign of his frustration.
"What is that all about? I told you that I could take care of her."
Cuddy stopped in her tracks and turned around angrily.
"Yes, reluctantly. You know? This doesn't matter. You don't have to do anything. Just go do whatever you do."
He sighed frustratingly and grasped her arm when she was about to walk away.
"What the hell is the matter with you? I told you I would do it, even though I'm just as busy as you are."
"House. Let go of my arm." She said through gritted teeth. He let her go and watched her leave the door. He stood in the foyer, frustrated and angry, but above else confused.
He arrived to work mere minutes after she did. She didn't say anything to him and walked right past him like he was invisible. He just allowed her to cool off, but that turned out to be a big mistake.
While he was in his office doing actual work, he heard the angry tap of her heels. He looked up just in time to see her furious gaze.
"Where have you been?"
Her chest heaved up and down, like she had been running. He pointed his thumb to his chest and said soundlessly 'me'.
"You owe me clinic duty. Why aren't you there?"
House leaned back in his seat and watched her silently as she walked back and forth, waving her arms furiously in the air while making angry remarks.
"House! House! Ugh, why do you never listen to me?" She stopped in her tracks and pointed at him furiously.
"You never listen. Why am I even bothering. I-"
"Will you SHUT UP!"
His spontaneous exclamation made her stop dead in her tracks, her mouth hanging open in shock. She seemed genuinely scared of him, but he didn't care. Her constant nagging was driving him insane.
"Cuddy you're driving me insane." He cried out. "What the hell is the matter with you woman?" He stood up and positioned himself opposite her, hands on his hips.
"I...I…" She tried to say something but failed miserably. She opened and closed her mouth, then lowered her head. His anger ceased a bit and he closed the short distance between them in one stride and placed his hands on her shoulders comfortingly.
"Cuddy," he murmured softly. "What is going on?"
She raised her head up so their eyes met. She looked shamefully in his eyes and bit her lower lip nervously. She seemed unsure, like she was making up her mind about something.
"Cuddy, tell me what it is." He pressed.
She looked down, and then met his eyes and dreadfully she whispered out.
"I'm late."
"Well if you're late then what are you doing here?"
Later he would mentally kick himself for making such a stupid remark, but any other possibility seemed so incredibly far-fetched that he couldn't imagine any other possible meaning.
She shook her head, and looked him straight in the eye.
"No…No, I'm late. Late, as in, I- haven't- had –my- period -yet- late."
He stared at her completely dumbfounded.
"What!" He exclaimed loudly. "How…how is that even possible? Aren't you on the pill?"
She looked surprisingly calm at his outburst, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"House. It's not the end of the world you know. I've been late before." She said soothingly, but his mind was already in overdrive.
"But if you were sure that it isn't nothing you wouldn't be so worried." He argued back.
"Well…I'm not used to be a week late." She said uneasily.
"But…but you're on the pill…you can't be…p-" He stopped right there. Saying the word would make it even more real than it was, and he was not going to panic.
"Yeah about that…"
His head snapped towards her. "Is there something you need to tell me?"
She bit her lip, and looked away from him. He put a hand on her cheek and tilted her head so he could see her face. Her eyes turned downwards, refusing to meet his.
"Cuddy you need to tell me." He pressed. She sighed and nodded her head.
"Well…I sort of ummm…forgot to take it." She murmured almost unintelligibly.
"Wha…how…Cuddy how could you forget something like that? Aren't you supposed to be an M.D. for Christ's sake?"
She frowned, the bridge between her eyes scrunching in the beautiful way it did when she was frustrated.
"I happen to be the Dean of Medicine of a very prestigious hospital, plus I'm a fulltime mother and a doting girlfriend. Has it ever occurred to you that this fills up my schedule, and I don't always have time to track everything down. Sometimes I wish…" She stopped and looked down trying to hide the tears that were threatening to fall down. "Sometimes I wish that the time would just stop, just for a minute and I can just be, but I can't and…" She stopped and ran her hand frustratingly over her cheeks. She raised her eyes up to his.
"I don't want to stand in this just as much as you. I know how scared you are of commitment, and having a child is no question, but you have to be with me in this."
She looked at him with those big pleading eyes and there was a part of him that almost broke, but there was a bigger part that screamed for him to run away. Thankfully he was rational enough to know that if he would do so then it would mean the end of his relationship with her, and that was a sacrifice he wasn't willing to make- yet.
"I can't." He muttered honestly.
Her face tensed up and she looked so disappointed that he wished he could take those words back. Her eyes welled up with tears but she kept them at bay.
"I should have known you would say that. I guess I was a fool to even think that you would be there for me. I knew I shouldn't have told you this."
"Cuddy. I'm sorry, I…I really don't want to lie to you. This isn't easy news to deal with."
"No it's not. But it's much easier to deal with it together than alone." She said hurtfully and started to turn around but he was quick enough to catch her arm, and lightly stopped her with his touch.
"Cuddy, aren't we overreacting a bit. Let's just calm down, there's a great chance that you aren't even pregnant." He tried to keep his voice calm, and mentally rewarded himself for staying so level headed. She looked at him angrily but didn't try to wriggle herself away from him.
"That isn't the problem. The problem is that you won't stay by my side in this, and I can't deal with that."
"Have you even taken a pregnancy test?" He asked her suddenly. She shook her head.
"Then why wont you take a test and we'll deal with whatever this is after you take it?"
"House, we have a problem and you're refusing to deal with it. I thought we were past this. I thought you were ready to make a commitment to me."
He rolled his eyes and tried to reason with her. "Cuddy, you're overreacting."
"No I'm not." She said defensively and jerked her arm from his grasp.
"I can't do this right now." She said before she opened the door and disappeared around the corner. She was so quick that he barely managed to register to her outburst. He would have walked after her, but he was so overwhelmed by the news that he couldn't keep his thoughts completely straight.
He ran a hand through his hair frustratingly, and sighed audibly. He didn't understand how the conversation could turn into that direction. One minute they were talking about a possible pregnancy, the next commitment issues. He knew very well that he was difficult to be with, and that she needed him more than ever right now. However she couldn't expect him to be Mr. supportive when she just dumped something like that on him.
He sat down in his chair and cradled his head in his hands. He didn't know what to do. Cuddy was quite possibly pregnant with his child; meanwhile he was screwing up the only relationship that truly mattered to him. He knew that there was only one person who could help him with this mess.
He stood abruptly from his chair, picked up his cane, and limped out of his office. He limped quickly down the hall and barged into the doors where the name James Wilson M.D. stood in black letters on a metal plaque.
Wilson looked wearily up from his work, and showed no sign of surprise of the sudden outburst. Instead he took his reading glasses off and placed them carefully on his desk, folded his hands in front of him and watched his friend attentively.
He closed the door and sat down in the chair opposite his desk. He fixed his gaze on his hands that fiddled with the hem of his blue shirt.
He finally cleared his throat and carefully whispered.
"Cuddy's pregnant."
He could hear Wilson's breath catch in his throat, and after that a heavy silence filled the room. House looked up to see if his friend was actually breathing. Thankfully it seemed that he was, but the utter shock on his face was evident by the way his eyes bulged out, and his lower jaw slackened so his mouth was slightly agape.
"Wow…wow…that's… huge!" He finally managed to stammer. He suddenly came to his senses and regarded him skeptically.
"How are you taking it?"
"What do you think? I might become a dad…that's not easy to take."
Wilson frowned and held up his index finger. "Hold on. You said that you might become a dad." His eyes suddenly bulged out. "Oh my god. You might not be the father?"
Now it was his turn to act shocked. "What? Hell no! I'm definitely the father. The thing is." He leaned slightly forward and squeezed the bridge of his nose between his fingers.
"The thing is that she might not be pregnant."
"Wait what?" Wilson looked at him confused. "You said that she was pregnant."
"Oh I'm so sorry I can't be specific. My girlfriend might be pregnant with my child and my head isn't really functional at the moment." He said drily.
"House. You have to calm down. You are making a way too much deal out of this. Don't panic until you know for sure."
"Oh god. Imagine, a child of Cuddy and me. Evacuate earth now!" He cried out theatrically. Wilson raised his eyebrows and folded his hands over his chest.
"How is Cuddy reacting to this?"
"What do you think?" He mumbled infuriated.
"I really don't know. I would think that she might actually be okay with this."
"Why would you ever think of that?" He snapped.
Wilson shrugged his shoulders, a thoughtful expression on his face.
"Well you know…she has always wanted a child, and I don't see why she wouldn't want to have one with you."
"What? Are you out of your mind?" He bellowed. He could feel his cheeks fluster with anger.
"Why would she want to have a child with someone like me? A person that is dysfunctional in every aspect of the word. I'm a cripple; I have constant pain problems, and I'm an ex drug addict. Tell me again why she would ever want to have a child with a person like that?" His frustration had taken the best of him, and he could feel the anger boil inside of him.
Wilson just sat there quietly and allowed him to lash out.
"House, you've been clean for over a year, you're dealing with the pain and by my best knowledge you're happy, both of you. So yes, I could see why she would want to have your child."
"Then she's delusional. I told her that being with me is difficult. I'm honest, rude and self absorbed, and now when it comes to it she refuses to talk to me. I can't be what she want's me to be."
"Yes you can, and you have been. Look, just talk this through. Be by her side, and if she's pregnant you'll deal with it then." He said soothingly.
"The problem is that I'm already not taking it well. What if she's pregnant? What then?"
"Then you'll have to decide whether you're ready to take responsibility or not." He nodded his head and stood up, not speaking another word he walked outside his office.
He didn't know what he was doing until he had reached his motorcycle and driven off. He hadn't meant to do it. He had wanted to go to Cuddy's office and talk to her, but he was a coward, and instead of going to Cuddy's office he walked straight out of the building without a thought.
He drove through town, weaving past cars and roads, not even knowing where he was going. At some point he ended in a bar where he drank away his despair and fears. He sat there until they closed, the bartender nearly throwing him on the street. The bartender closed the door with a slam and he staggered to his motorcycle, drunk and stupid. He stood in the middle of the street, the rain falling on him heavily. He couldn't go to her house. He couldn't talk to her, not like this.
He ended by calling a cab and went to his old department. He opened the door and staggered into the dark apartment. He sank on the couch in the living room, not even bothering to turn on the lights. His clothes were wet from the rain, soaking the leather of the couch, but he didn't care. He was possibly screwing up the only thing that mattered to him in the world. He was an asshole, a true self-observed, narcissistic dick. He lay down on the couch, all wet and all, and fell asleep.
He woke up by the bright light from the sun that managed to squeeze through the slit in the shutters. He groaned out loud, his head was killing him. He sat up and soon regretted it when a searing pain shot through his leg; he rubbed it slowly, trying to ease the cramps. He looked at his watch only to see that it was five in the afternoon. He sighed and stood up painfully.
The next hour went into deciding whether he should call her or not, only to end with an empty vodka bottle by his side. He fell asleep on the floor, drunk and filthy.
The next three days passed like this. He woke up only to drown himself again in alcohol. He hadn't taken drugs, not yet, although it had occurred to him. It had gone far enough that he was holding a pill bottle in his hands, ready to pop it into his mouth. Then he decided against it and emptied the bottle into the toilet.
He sat on the floor, his legs were drawn to his chest and his head lay on top of his hands that rested on his knees. He was a mess. He hadn't showered in four days, and he stunk of alcohol.
He couldn't stand this. He wanted to call her, or go to her house just to see her. But he knew that if his words hadn't broken them apart then his actions had. He didn't want to call her because he didn't want her to tell him how much he had disappointed her. He just wanted to feel like he still belonged to someone, that someone belonged to him. He knew that he couldn't live in denial for too long. Eventually he would have to dust off the filth and confront her, no matter how much it would pain him.
Suddenly he heard the sound of a key in the lock and the soft door creaked open.
He didn't move from the floor and kept his head down. There were only two people in the world that had a key to his apartment, and he didn't want to see either of them.
"House." Wilson's familiar voice ran in the air. He heard his heavy footsteps approach him.
"House." His voice was alarmed and he could hear him crouch down beside him.
"Go away." He muttered.
He felt Wilson's hands touch his shoulder and tug at his shirt tightly forcing him to raise his head.
"Are you on drugs?"
"No." Came his sullen reply.
Wilson looked at him skeptically. He sat straighter and looked at him straight in the eyes.
"I'm not on drugs."
"Prove it."
His voice was curt and evident with anger. He couldn't blame him. He hadn't answered his calls, and he knew that his friend had been prepared to see anything when he opened the door.
"You'll just have to trust me."
"How can I trust you?" He said exasperatedly. "I tell you to talk to Cuddy and you just leave without a word. You don't answer my phone calls. I was half expecting to see your corpse lying on the floor when I came." He spat out angrily.
He had seen his friend angry many times, but he had rarely seen him beside himself with anger.
"Do you have any idea how scared we've been? What you've been doing to Cuddy?" He said harshly.
"Of course I do. I just…I don't know Wilson. This is all a mess."
"Cuddy has been so worried about you. Not only is she having troubles with you but also the hospital is abuzz with your disappearance. We said that you were home with the flu, but everyone knows that something's wrong."
"What do you want me to say?" He muttered glumly.
"I don't know." Wilson said tiredly. "I…I really don't know how you can undo this mess. You have to figure it out yourself."
He didn't say anything. What could he say? That he was sorry? Because he was sorry, he was sorry for everything.
"How is she?" he couldn't help but ask the question that had been burning on his mind for the past days.
"She's a wreck. How could you do this to her?" Wilson said angrily, his eyes burning with anger.
"I was freaked out. Do you have any idea how much I've been trying to be Mr. Nice Guy? I've put up with a lot of crap, just because I wanted to show her how much I care about her, but this…I can't be a father. I'm doing her a favor by staying away."
"How? Cuddy has barely managed to go to work. Rachel keeps asking about you, and she's scared out of her mind." He paced back and forth. "She hasn't even dared to see whether she is in fact pregnant….I really don't understand you two. You always make things worse before they turn bad."
He stopped and regarded him, his face hard.
"She still believes that you will show up. That you will stay by her side. She told me that you were afraid. I don't understand why she keeps protecting you, but she does, and you're one sorry son of a bitch if you don't use this opportunity and make it right for once."
He could feel his heart beat fast in his chest, his mind racing by what his best friend was saying. She believed in him? He looked at Wilson skeptically but Wilson just shook his head disbelievingly.
"I don't know how she puts up with you. I really don't. So please don't let her down, again, and make things right just for once in your life."
"I can't."
"Yes you can." Wilson said groggily.
"No I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because…" He started then sighed and hesitated before he stood up from the floor, his leg screaming at him but he tried to ignore it and haltered to the sofa table.
"Because of this." He said and pointed at the silver picture frame on the table.
Wilson took the frame up and looked at the old picture in the frame. The picture was of a boy about eight years old, and a tall, muscular man. The boy stood few feet away from the man, a displeasing look on his face, the man's expression was harsh an almost cruel sneer played on his lips.
"Your father?"
"Yes."
He took the picture frame out of his hands and looked at it hatefully.
"He wasn't exactly the best father in the world. I don't have a good experience with father's."
"Is that why? You think you'll be like him?"
He turned his back away from him but was sure that he got the message. This was not a place he wanted to go. He just needed him to understand that he wasn't prepared, and probably never would be.
"House. You're not your father. You have a chance to prove that you aren't him. Don't ruin your relationship with Cuddy because of him."
"I'm not. It's just…I can't…" He said feebly.
"Cuddy believes you can do it, and I do to. Just don't screw this up."
He heard Wilson's footsteps by the door.
"Do the right thing." He heard him say before the door shut.
He did follow Wilson's advice, but not until the next day. He had decided to actually groom himself. He went into the shower, and used some of that soap Cuddy liked so much. Then he actually shaved, and put on a clean shirt and jeans.
He drove slowly to her house, the dread for the upcoming meeting making him almost turn around and go back to his apartment.
Instead he took a deep breath and approached her front door.
She opened the door before he knocked on the door, his fist still raised in the air.
He smiled awkwardly when he saw her approach him slowly.
"Cuddy…" He began but she caught him off.
"Don't." She snapped. "Just don't. You're here and I know I should feel mad and frustrated but I think I owe you an apology."
"What? Cuddy I…"
She raised her palm silencing him.
"I didn't approach this the right way. I was scared and I didn't know how to act and then I just…"
He silenced her with his lips and she melted into his embrace, and wrapped her arms around him possessively. The kiss was passionate, urgent and desperate. They shoved their deepest fears and worry into that kiss.
They separated in desperate need for air.
"Cuddy I'm sorry I'm such an ass. I shouldn't have left you…I'm a fucking idiot."
"Shhh. It's all right. You're here now."
They didn't say anything for several moments then he ended the silence with the hanging question.
"Did you take a test?"
"No." She said evenly.
"I guess there's only one thing to do."
Cuddy looked at him with a painful expression on her face.
"Come on."
He started to drag her in. He really couldn't believe that he was the one making that move.
"House." Cuddy protested.
"No. We're doing this." He said firmly and dragged her inside.
"House. I didn't buy a test." She stuttered.
He paused and looked at her for a moment before he turned around and started to walk outside.
"What are you doing?"
"What does it look like?" He said and opened the car door. "We're buying a pregnancy test."
Cuddy stopped in her tracks.
"I can't just leave Rachel behind." She whispered.
"Why are you whispering?" He said in a rather loud whisper. Cuddy looked at him wearily.
"Because I have nosy neighbors and unlike you I still care about my image."
"Fine. We'll take the kid." He shut the car door and was about to head inside when Cuddy stopped him.
"What part of 'I have nosy neighbors' don't you understand?"
"They won't notice." House declared.
"Yes they will." She argued. "Why wont you just go and I'll wait here.
"I can't do that. I'm a man."
"So?"
"So? I have been trying for years to maintain a certain image. Princeton is a small town, people might notice." He said in a whiny tone.
"I guess we'll have to wait till tomorrow." She said easily.
"Can't do."
"Why not?
"I'm afraid I'll chicken out." He admitted.
"Fine I'll go and you'll stay with Rachel." She offered. He looked at her uncertainly.
"Really? Cause you know how that went the last time."
She looked at him irritatingly and opened the car door, and stepped inside.
"Don't set the house on fire while I'm gone."
He placed a hand on his heart in mock hurt. She smiled a little at his theatrics but looked a little unsure.
"Fine, I'll go." He said irritatingly, taking her arm. She stepped out of the car.
"You sure?"
"Don't make me change my mind." He said gruffly and started the car.
The nearest pharmacy was five minutes away, but the longest time actually went into gathering the courage to get inside and pick the goddamn test.
Half an hour later he was back at Cuddy's.
"What took you so long?" She questioned him anxiously. "I was starting to think that you were bailing."
"You wish girlfriend." He said and handed her the bag. She opened the bag and looked at him with raised eyebrows.
"How many tests did you actually buy?"
"Ten."
"Why?"
"Because they're all different types. How the hell should I know what's the most accurate one?"
"You ask."
"Too late, now pee."
She rolled her eyes and stepped into the bathroom, locking the door. He waited anxiously by the door. He leaned against the frame, but shifted soon to the other side before walking back and forth down the hall.
Twenty minutes later he was actually starting to worry. He knocked on the door lightly.
"Cuddy. Is everything all right?"
There came no reply. He knocked a little bit more loudly on the door.
"Cuddy!"
"Yeah." She finally replied.
"Open the door."
He waited until he heard the lock unlock and Cuddy opened the door.
"I can't do it." She breathed.
"Yeah you can. You just pee on the goddamn thing, and…"
"House. I…" She stopped and buried her face in her palms. He sighed and took her in his arms. He was more scared than he cared to admit right now. His actions in the past days said it all, so he decided to be the man he claimed to be and embraced her securely.
"You can do this. I'll be here waiting."
"Thank you."
The clock struck midnight, and he realized that they had been sitting there for ten minutes without saying a word. He looked at her and met her nervous glance. She glanced down at the table and he followed suit. He knew that he had to take the first step. He scooted closer to her; she tensed up but didn't move.
"Look, we have to do this whether we like it or not."
He made a move to touch her arm but she tensed slightly. His hand froze in mid air and he turned his palm up in sign of surrender. He lowered his hand but didn't move away from her. He knew that she was afraid, but they had to do this. He was starting to make a bold move to check it out himself when she suddenly whispered.
"What if we'll screw this up?"
She looked at him with her desperately sad blue eyes. "What if we'll screw this up like everything else in our lives?"
He stared at her, trying in vain to find a suitable answer for her question, but she had a point. It wasn't like this thought had never occurred to him over the past week. Actually it was one of his first thoughts when he realized that she might be pregnant. He knew that they would screw it up, it would probably become the end of their short relationship, but there was a little teeny tiny part of him, a part of him that he rarely showed to anyone, which hoped that they would come through. No matter what would happen, and for this vulnerable second he allowed that teeny tiny part of him to overtake his rational and twisted mind and turned his thoughts into the words she needed to hear right now. Screw rationalism, honesty and pessimism; in any given situation he would be as honest and cruel because that's what he did, that's how he was, but he knew that if he would screw this then she would never accept him for what he was, so for that one moment he allowed himself to be vulnerable to her.
He moved towards her, and ignored her tense expression, took her hands in his and gave her the most heartfelt, meaningful expression he could muster.
"Cuddy, I know that neither of us are ready for a commitment that involves having a child, but if there is a tiny pink plus there, then I want you to know that I'll be there for you. However if there is a blue minus, then I want you to know that I'll also be by your side, no matter what. Not because I have to, because I want to. I know that having a baby with me was maybe last thing on your to-do list, but we'll get through this. We always will."
Tears glistened in her eyes, and surprisingly he didn't feel the urge to roll his eyes. Instead he dried them away with the back of his thumb, and kissed the remaining ones away. She laughed half heartedly, a small sob escaping her lips, and leaned into his embrace.
They stayed like that for several moments before she tangled herself from his arms and eyed the stick.
"I guess there's only one thing to do."
He nodded his head and watched her anxiously take the stick up. Her hand shook slightly when she brought it nearer for a closer look. Their hearts froze for a split second when their eyes landed on the white stick. On the flat surface was one light blue streak.
He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He looked at her awkwardly.
"This is a good thing…right?"
"Yeah," she breathed, "yeah, right." She shook her head, her raven locks flying around her face. "This is good. We…weren't ready."
"Yeah…right."
They sat in silence, both taking in the information. Both exceedingly disappointed. Neither daring to express it to each other.
"Okay," She sighed, "there we have that." She stood up from the couch and faced him.
"I'm going to bed…. there's a big meeting tomorrow, and I need to be well rested."
"Yeah. I'll…be right there."
She nodded her head, a trace of disappointment flashing in her eyes, and walked out of the living room.
He sat there alone and sighed tiredly. This was a relief, they didn't want this anyway; they weren't ready. Then why did he feel this odd feeling in his chest, an odd sense of loss that he couldn't quite decipher. He finally decided that he was just tired. It had been a long week, and he desperately needed some sleep. He stood up and headed into the bedroom, sneaking a tiny peek into Rachel's bedroom, before he opened the Cuddy's bedroom door where he found her lying on her side, seemingly sound asleep. He walked quietly into the bathroom and closed the door silently behind him. He placed his hands on the edges of the sink and leaned his head down. He tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat, but his emotions had taken control and he could feel the soft burning of hot tears under his eyelids threatening to spill out. Finally he gave into the battle and the tears welled down his cheeks. His shoulder shook while he cried silently, not wanting her to hear him cry. He rarely cried, and when he did he preferred to be alone, he didn't want to be vulnerable in front of anyone, and it had become explicably hard to be so in front of her. It wasn't that he didn't trust her; it was just too damn hard to be everything he needed to be for her. She should be the one crying, and here he was, a silent mess trying in a lame attempt to stifle his tears. He managed to stop before it turned awkwardly out of his hands, and dried his swollen skin with a towel. He splashed water on his face, and tried to freshen up a bit. He touched the handle ready to go outside when he spotted it. On the counter lay an innocent white stick, the other stick they had bought in the pharmacy. She must have forgotten it in all the rush before. He picked it up carefully, not giving it a second glance he dumped it in the bin. He didn't care to see the disappointment smirk him in the face once again. He darted heatedly outside the door and sat on his end of the bed. He lay down, still unbelievably angry and stared at the ceiling. He listened to her soft breathing, and knew that she was still very much awake. They lay there side by side, neither of them saying anything. After few minutes he heard her shift slightly, adjusting herself into a more comfortable position, then the silence engulfed them once again. His eyelids became heavier, and he was about to drop in the haze of sleep when he felt a light caress on his left hand. He opened his eyes and turned his head sideways and met her blue grey eyes, her hand grasped his tightly and he squeezed it back reassuringly. A small tear made its way down her cheek, and he felt the urge to wipe it away. Instead he dragged her form closer to his, and together they fell asleep in each other's embrace.
Across the room, inside the bathroom in the trash bin under the sink, lay the white plastic stick that had been tossed so carelessly few moments before. On the flat surface was a light pink plus sign.
A/N: Are they? Or aren't they?
I know House is a little OOC, but this was a hard week for him so… Either way I don't have to make any excuses, he was vulnerable and that happens to best and worst of people.
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