Dear Heero,
If you're reading this, then I'm already gone. I know you
won't feel bad about it; being emotional betrays your Perfect Soldier persona.
Do you know that I used to believe that it was all just an act because you were shy? I know better now. I only wish
that it wasn't too late for me to spare myself a lot of pain and heartache. The
reason I'm writing you this letter is to tell you what I could never say out
loud. No matter how long I followed you, or how many times I tried to really
talk to you, nothing ever worked. You were too cold, too unfriendly. Why do you
have to be that way, Heero? It's impossible to be close to you because you
always push me away. And that's all I really want, is just to be close. I love
you, Heero. There, I said it. I love you now, and I'll love you when I'm dead.
But I guess you don't want my love or you would have said something to me.
After all, you're not afraid of anything. But can you do something for me? I can't
live knowing that someone I love chooses not to acknowledge that in some way. I
just can't. So could you please tell the other pilots goodbye for me? Don't let
Quatre get too upset; we all know what happens when death's hands brush against
someone he knows. And tell Milliardo that this wasn't his fault. You might want
to stay out of his way for a while though. Just in case he blames you for this,
which seems like something he would do. Also, help keep the peace. Now that the
war has ended, I'd like things to stay peaceful for a while. And please, Heero, learn to love. For your
own sake. I don't want you to be alone forever. Don't forget me.
Love,
Relena
P.S. Don't look for me after you find this; you won't
find me until I'm long dead.
Carefully, Relena read the letter one last time before folding it into an envelope and writing Heero's name across the front in big, bold letters.
'I hope I know what I'm doing,' she thought sadly. She took the empty pistol and clips out of her desk drawer and slipped them and the letter into a small handbag. Stealthily, Relena snuck out of the mansion and decided to walk the short distance to Heero's small apartment. The moon hung full and bright in the clear sky, and the stars seemed to resonate. It would be a beautiful night to enter the next plane. One to remember, and Relena would make it even more memorable with her death.
Quietly, she slid the note under Heero's door, assuming he was already asleep, or if he wasn't sleeping then he was doing something on his computer. Either way, he wouldn't notice her note until morning. Relena left the apartment, walking slowly away. It wouldn't do for her to shoot herself on Heero's doorstep.
'He wouldn't like having such a mess to clean up,' Relena thought bitterly. Instead, she would walk to the park, the place she went every time she was troubled. She would sit on her bench and take out her gun and end it all in her favorite place. It would be a fitting spot to die. However, the park was a good distance from Heero's home. It would take her at least half an hour to walk there. Hopefully no one would wonder why she was wandering around by herself in the middle of the night and stop her. Relena took one last longing look at Heero's door before walking out of his life for good.
~*~
Shortly after Relena had left, a boisterous and very wide awake Duo Maxwell showed up at Heero's apartment. Opening the door without knocking since Heero never bothered to lock it, Duo snapped on the lights. Heero was lying on the worn couch tapping the keyboard of his laptop rapidly.
"Shut the door, you brainless wonder. You're letting all the cold air out," he muttered without looking up.
"It's cold enough in here as it is, Heero. It seems to me like you're starting to get brain freeze. After all, you left your mail lying on the floor," Duo cheerfully replied. He scooped up the letter and waved it in front of Heero's nose.
"What? This isn't a real letter. Look, idiot, it's only got my first name on it and nothing else." Heero held the envelope up for Duo to see before breaking the seal.
"Ooh, maybe it's a love letter, Heero," Duo teased. Eagerly, he snatched the piece of paper out of Heero's hands and started reading it. Heero watched as Duo's face fell.
'He must be jealous. What an idiot. Who'd get all upset over a stupid letter? Besides, even if it is a love letter, it's not from the person I want to hear from. Ah, Relena,' Heero thought. He shut his eyes, and her image played through his mind. But Relena deserved someone better. Someone more peaceful.
"Uh, Heero, you might wanna take a look at this. It might not be too late yet." Duo said, instantly serious as he tossed the letter into Heero's lap.
Heero scanned the delicate handwriting, and realized what had obviously upset Duo. He heard his own voice shout out, "But where is she? That wasn't there an hour ago, Duo! There really might still be time to find her."
"It's not likely, Heero. And why are you getting so worked up? After all, she doesn't mean anything to you or she wouldn't be doing this. Maybe I should call Quatre and let you get back to your computer games," came Duo's angry reply. He was immediately sorry when Heero pinned him with a stricken look.
"Well, you deserved it, Heero. You of all people should have guessed that she liked you. You could have at least tried to be more friendly toward her."
"It's not that, Duo. It isn't that at all. But come on! We have to find her, and we have to do it now, before it really is too late!" Heero was on his feet in a second, jumping over the back of the sofa and forgetting all about his new combat game.
"We don't even know where she went! How are we gonna find her? And it's the middle of the night, Heero! Shouldn't we let the police handle this or something?" Duo was secretly pleased at Heero's show of emotion, but he thought that his friend's actions were a little rash.
"I know where she's going. She isn't the only one who followed people around." With that, Heero ran out the door, leaving Duo behind. He jumped onto the back of Duo's motor cycle and sped off to the park, praying that it wasn't too late to stop Relena.
Duo ran out of Heero's apartment only to see Heero's hasty departure.
"Damn! I knew I shouldn't have left the keys in the ignition!" Duo exclaimed as he watched Heero quickly disappear into the distance.
~*~
Relena had been sitting on the park bench for a few minutes. Upon entering the park, she had cried bitter tears over her friends, but life would go on for them without her. Now she stared listlessly at the sky, remembering all the times she had been into space and the majesty that the stars had held. She would miss the stars, but it wasn't important. She knew what she had to do. Slowly, Relena reached for the handbag that rested beside her feet. She opened it and pulled out her gun and clips. She slid a clip into the gun. It clicked loudly in the empty park, and Relena was almost afraid that someone would hear her, except that it was too late for anyone to be roaming around.
Still moving slowly, Relena pressed the gun against her temple. Now was the time to end it. The moon was directly overhead, and all was beautiful in the night. She began to tighten her finger on the trigger, just about to pull it when something suddenly went wrong with her plan. Relena was grabbed from behind by a pair of strong arms, and the gun was pulled out of her hand and thrown to the ground.
"I can't let you do this to yourself, Relena," a cold, emotionless voice said in her ear.
"He-Heero? How did you find me? Why are you here?" Relena half sobbed. She was partly relieved that someone had come to stop her, but why did it have to be Heero?
"It was easy to find you. And I had to stop you. Relena, what do you think I've been doing all this time?" Once again, Heero was alarmed that emotions had begun to seep into his voice.
"I don't know, Heero. Trying to complete your mission? Trying to be a perfect soldier? You tell me, Heero Yuy." Relena was openly crying now. It frightened her to hear Heero speaking in such a tone.
"I was trying not to let myself get too close to you. But I failed. I failed miserably, and here I am. Why me, Relena, when you could have someone so much better. Someone who could help you keep the peace better than I could?" Heero asked. This time he ignored the husky tone his voice had taken on. Why shouldn't he be emotional every once in a while?
"Because you are yourself. You never try to be what you're not though you keep your feelings in check. And because I'm drawn to you. Why else do you think I follow you everywhere, Heero?" Relena asked. She turned and wept into Heero's shirt; after all, he still hadn't bothered to let her go. He tensed for a moment, then shifted his grip so that he could pull her closer and comb his fingers through her hair, something that he had wanted to do for a long time.
"I don't know, Relena. But that's not important now. What's important is that I found you before you did something that would have destroyed us both. I-Relena, I…I couldn't live….without you, Relena. It would be….too empty. Please stop crying, Relena," Heero stammered.
"What? But Heero, why didn't you say anything before?" Relena asked, in complete shock. Heero was actually talking about something that pertained to feelings. 'And who said miracles never happen?' she thought.
"Because I was af-afraid to say anything. I didn't know what you would think, what you would say. I didn't know what I should say. Why didn't you come to me, Relena?"
"Because I didn't think you cared. I was afraid you would turn away from me and leave me alone, so I didn't tell you anything, Heero," Relena mumbled.
"But you tried to show me. I realize that now. When you followed me, and you were always there when I needed help and no one else was around. I'm sorry, Relena, for being too dense to realize sooner. But things won't be that way anymore, I promise."
"Really, Heero?" Relena asked, looking up from his shirt.
"Really, Relena. Now let's get out of here. I think Duo might want his bike back."
Swiftly, Heero bent down and kissed Relena's lips. He forced himself to keep it short since he had to drive back, and he knew how just being near Relena played with his senses. It wouldn't do for him to get into an accident right after gaining his heart's desire.
"Thank you, Heero," Relena whispered as they walked hand in hand back to the park entrance where Heero had left Duo's motor cycle.
A/N: This is the end of all I was planning to write, but I might be nice enough to do a sequel if I get enough reviews. I know that everyone was ooc, and I'm not too sure if I spelled everyone's name right, but I think I did an okay job. Please review this even if you don't like it; it makes me feel better to know that I'm getting reviews. Also, this might not be very accurate since I've only seen about 8 eps of Gundam total though I've read tons of fanfics. Thanx a bunch for reading this though!