Chapter 1

"Stupefy!"

A bright red jet of light discharged from my outstretched wand and shot towards the startled Ravenclaw in front of me. As the harsh jet blazed towards him he dropped to the ground, and the spell whizzed over his head. Standing up and brushing floor dust off his robes, he stared at me in alarm.

"What was that, Victoire?" he demanded.

I arched an eyebrow. "Er, Stupefy? Otherwise known as the Stunning Spell?"

"I know that, you said the incantation aloud," he sighed. "I meant that we're supposed to be practicing the Full Body-Bind Jinx."

"I don't need to practice it," I retorted. "I learned that spell last year."

Even so, I looked around to confirm his statement. All the desks in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom had been pushed aside, forming an arena-like space in the centre. My fellow students were spread out inside it and crying "Petrificus Totalus!" Occasionally the thump of a body hitting the ground was heard, typically accompanied by a panicked "Finite Incatatem!"

Professor Jaron had put our class-all the third year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws-into pairs to perform mock duels. I had been paired with Connor Adler, whom I had never spoken to before today but heard that he was a brilliant introvert. Basically the textbook definition of Ravenclaw.

"Last year?" repeated Connor, sounding impressed.

I nodded once before rapidly changing the subject. "You try the spell."

He raised his wand. "Petrificus Totalus!"

A burst of light erupted from his wand, but it dissipated in mid-air. He frowned and tried again, with the same results.

Professor Jaron passed by us, but stopped and glanced at Connor's evaporated spell. "Having some trouble, Adler?" he asked kindly.

Connor ruffled the brown hair on the back of his head uneasily. "Sort of, sir," he admitted.

"Try-"

Suddenly, an explosion rocked the classroom, knocking nearly everyone to the ground. I scrambled up and peered at the centre of the room, where a Ravenclaw girl was Body-Bound but also bleeding from a gash on her arm. Her wand lay just out of reach from her hand. A Gryffindor boy, Samuel Jones, stood nearby looking stricken.

"Professor! I don't know what happened!" he babbled. "All I said was 'Petrificus Tatolius!'"

"Oh, dear," sighed Professor Jaron. "Everyone keep practicing; I'll take care of this!" As he hurried over to the pair, he shouted to Connor over his shoulder, "Ask Miss Weasley for help with the spell!"

I gaped after him until I realized Connor was looking at me expectantly. Professor Jaron was the only professor whom I truly admired, but at the moment I didn't like him at all. I hated helping strangers, and usually the feeling was mutual. Annoyed, I moved beside him and gestured for him to lift his wand. He held it aloft, clutching it like it was his lifeline.

"Don't hold your wand so rigidly," I said shortly. "It affects the delivery of the spell."

A thoughtful look crossed his face. "I reckon I read that somewhere before."

"No use reading it if you can't bloody remember it for practical situations," I muttered.

If he heard me, he ignored my statement.

Just as I reached out to adjust his wand position, he cried, "Petrificus Totalus!"

The spell hit my hand and I froze, toppling forward and knocking both Connor and I to the ground. At the moment, I was grateful he was such a scrawny kid. I was slim myself, and if Connor were any heavier he might've broken my ribs.

"Oops, sorry," said Connor from underneath me.

Since I couldn't yell at him, I settled for giving him a death glare. He frantically pushed me off him and crouched beside my prone figure. "Finite Incatatem!"

I unfroze and scrambled upwards. "Connor…" I began warningly.

"I said sorry! I didn't know you were going to move in front of me."

I cocked my head to one side and analyzed him. Few people were sincere in their apologies to me, but Connor did look genuinely remorseful. His caramel-coloured eyes were shining, as if he would burst into tears if I didn't forgive him. I vaguely wondered whether my reputation caused him to think that I would curse him or something for accidentally Body-Binding me.

"Forget about it," I huffed. "Just pay attention next time."

He grinned in relief. "Thanks, Victoire."

"Well, now that you can do Petrificus Totalus properly, we can have a real duel," I said sinisterly, holding up my wand.

Connor visibly gulped.

We ended up duelling several times over the next half hour, as Professor Jaron was otherwise occupied with taking the Ravenclaw girl and Samuel Jones to the hospital wing. I thrashed Connor easily each time. He wasn't a terrible duellist, but I had honed my duelling skills since last Christmas and I was confident only a NEWT-level student could possibly beat me. Connor ended up Body-Bound five times, Stunned twice, and lastly, wrapped up in ropes.

After the latter, in which I had to cast the Revulsion Jinx to free him, he completely forgot about his wand laying by his side and simply stared at me in stunned amazement.

"How on earth can you perform Incarcerous?" he asked in bewilderment. "That's a NEWT-level spell that we learn in sixth year!"

I shrugged. "I practice defensive spells a lot."

"Incarcerous is an offensive spell," he pointed out.

"Not if you're being attacked."

"You would still be initiating an offense against the instigator."

I decided not to mention that I didn't know half the words he just spoke and glowered instead. "Whatever."

"Putting that aside, I still don't know how you can do Incarcerous. Even if you're supremely talented-which you seem to be-you'd have to spend every waking moment-"

Professor Jaron burst back into the classroom with a distraught Samuel in tow. "Class dismissed!" he panted.

"Is Annabel okay?" another Ravenclaw girl asked worriedly.

"She'll be fine," Professor Jaron reassured her. "She'll probably spend the night in the hospital wing, but she'll be right as rain tomorrow."

Grateful for the distraction caused by Professor Jaron's reappearance, I grabbed my belongings and brushed past Connor without another word. As I left the room, I double-checked my schedule to confirm that I had Herbology next, and headed to the castle's side entrance.

Upon exiting the castle, I trudged behind a bunch of Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs. I took note of the leaves changing colour with a faint smile-if there was anyone who appreciated colour, it was me; I regularly dyed my pale blonde hair with pink and blue streaks, although I haven't lately. I breathed in the crisp fall air, reveling in one last breath of fresh air before following everyone inside Greenhouse Three.

A large table occupied the centre of the room. Identical plants with red leaves and thin stems had been set up at every seat. Professor Longbottom, the Herbology teacher, was at the front of the room, prodding a wispy-looking specimen with his wand. I knew him a little better than most students because he was my uncles' friend back from the Second Wizarding War. He looked up as we filed into the greenhouse and beamed.

"Welcome everyone, take a seat in front of a plant!" he called out. "Oh, and grab a pair of gloves from the back, you'll need them."

I seized two leather gloves and picked a seat closer to the back window, which was the only one open. A light breeze fluttered through the window as I pulled the gloves on and proceeded to ignore the chattering students around me.

When everyone had taken a seat, Professor Longbottom levitated his plant to the centre of the room for everyone to see. "This is the Carmine Carnivorous plant. It's characterized by several distinguishing qualities, which you might want to copy down-it'll be on your next test. First there's its obvious bright red leaves, characteristic to all the Carmine plants. Also note its feather-like pattern along the veins…"

I tuned him out as I gazed out the window. The faint scent of woodsmoke wafted in. The Care of Magical Creatures teacher, Professor Hagrid, must be either trying to attract strange creatures from the Forbidden Forest, or cooking; I wasn't sure which was more horrifying. The smoky smell was strangely aromatic, and before I knew it, I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I turned back to Professor Longbottom, but with my half-lidded vision I only glimpsed a round blonde blur before my eyes drifted shut.

I stood at the foot of a tall grassy mountain. The peak seemed to brush the clouds, but somehow I could easily see two girls standing at the very edge at the top. Both were wearing cocktail dresses, one in pink and the other clad in blue. Despite the calm expressions on their faces, they were screaming my name.

"I'm coming!" I yelled as I tried to climb the mountain. There were multiple handholds, but as I climbed higher, the two girls seemed to get farther and farther away. Soon I could no longer see their brightly coloured dresses, and their screams faded away to nothing.

I shouted at them to wait for me, but then my hands slipped and I tumbled off a ledge. I spotted the ground rushing up to meet me, a blur of green grass and trees mixed with the dark brown earth. Powerless, I simply closed my eyes and accepted my fate.

"Miss Weasley! Victoire!"

My eyes flew open and met Professor Longbottom's vexed stare. The class tittered. I shot them all my death glare, and they instantly turned away.

I couldn't believe I'd fallen asleep in class again. I had actually went to sleep last night for four hours, which was more than usual.

"Sleeping in class again, Victoire? It's becoming a bad habit," Judy, another Gryffindor third year, said mockingly. She flipped her long brown hair over one shoulder and smirked at me. Her friends, Fatima and Eleanor, giggled beside her.

Professor Longbottom shot her a warning look and looked back at me. "Victoire, please stay awake. Now, where were we…right. What is different about the Carmine Carnivorous' primary growth zone as compared to most other Carmine plants?"

After a few seconds went by, I realized he was asking me.

"Er…I don't know."

He frowned. "We covered that at the beginning of the lecture. Did you forget, or were you already sleeping?"

"Probably sleeping," I said flippantly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Victoire, please come see me after class...and 10 points from Gryffindor. Now, when the Carmine Carnivorous flowers, the buds…"

I silently fumed in my seat. Who cared about stupid plants? I was much more preoccupied with the dream I just had. I'd been having the same one for the past ten months, and it ended the same way each time: I slipped off the mountain before reaching the top, and I woke up right after surrendering my life to the ground. It was improbable that I would have the same dream again and again for so long, and I made a mental note to check for books on dreams in the library.

"Now dig into the soil near the base of your plant," said Professor Longbottom. "The charm should be near the root tips, so this will take a while. And, er, watch out for its teeth. Go on!"

Grimacing, I parted the soil and reached down. The plant convulsed and a vine extended toward my hand, baring its tiny fangs. I swatted at it with my other hand, causing it to whimper and shrink back.

Fiddling around in soil while a plant tried to bite me was about as fun as it sounded. It kept lunging at my arm, and at one point its teeth grazed my skin. I seriously hoped the plant wasn't venomous.

About ten minutes later, I felt a hard object and pulled, hearing it snap off the root. I withdrew my hand and stared at the tiny orb. It was about a centimetre in diameter and glowing yellow. It would have been pretty if it weren't pulsing like a living heart, which just made it extremely disturbing. I quickly dropped it in my bag and shook off the dirt that had accumulated on the gloves.

"You all should have unearthed your charm by now," said Professor Longbottom. "Remember to keep it! It's rumoured to bring good luck and fulfillment to the bearer."

"Your homework is an essay comparing the Carmine Carnivorous to another plant, due next week. It should be at least three feet long." He waved his wand, and the plant he'd been levitating floated back to him. "You're all dismissed."

"Except Victoire," Judy pointed out, sticking her tongue out at me.

I whipped out my wand and blasted a Horn Tongue hex at Judy, but Professor Longbottom was quick to react and deflected the spell.

"Miss Weasley!" he snapped. "Pack your possessions and come up here. Miss Fisher, you may leave."

Judy snorted but obeyed and left. I slowly packed my things as the class emptied around me. After depositing my gloves at the back and slinging my bag over one shoulder, I strode to the front of the classroom.

Professor Longbottom's face turned into a grimace as I approached. "Victoire," he sighed. "What's happened to you? You used to be one of my best students."

I shrugged. "Things change."

"Not that drastically," he said. "You were able to answer my questions and you certainly never fell asleep in class. From what I hear from your other teachers, this change is happening in all your other classes too. Except from Professor Jaron, for some reason." He peered at me. I chose not to answer his rhetorical comment.

"You're a bright student, but you rarely complete your homework and I can't remember the last time you handed any in on time-" He paused suddenly, and his eyebrows furrowed. "Actually, I can remember. It was last Christmas, wasn't it?"

My throat tightened and I had to force myself to keep making eye contact with him. "I don't know."

He looked at me with pity, which only irritated me further. I didn't like pity, nor did I need any. It was a useless sentiment that didn't help anyone. "Victoire, I care about you. All your professors do. If you need someone to talk to about-"

"I'm fine," I interrupted.

"I know it's hard, but we can help you-"

"I said I'm fine," I said fiercely.

Professor Longbottom looked at me disbelievingly, but to my relief he let the matter drop. "All right then," he nodded. "I won't force you. If you ever change your mind, you know where my office is. Firstly, I ought to give you detention for trying to give Miss Fisher a horned tongue, but as it was a provoked attack, I'll let it slide." He glanced at me knowingly. "Plus I heard you already have a detention this Thursday."

I groaned. "Professor Patil told you?"

"Yes," he said. Professor Longbottom looked at me thoughtfully and asked, "Can you really cast the Horn Tongue hex? I only learned it after graduating from Hogwarts."

"I used it on Lena Harper on the second day of school this year," I offered. "She called me a foul half-breed."

His eyebrows vaulted, but he didn't comment on my confession of hallway duelling with a Slytherin. "Second, I expect your essay finished, well-written, and handed in on time for next week. Understood?"

I frowned, but nodded dutifully. He continued staring at me impassively for a few seconds, before finally dismissing me.

I stomped out of Greenhouse Three in a bad mood. I didn't need Professor Longbottom or any other intrusive professors sticking their nose in my business. A small part of me was glad Professor Longbottom had backed off and not given me another detention, but I had been behind on Herbology and most other subjects for so long that it was impossible for me to catch up on everything in a week and write a decent essay. Plus, I was pretty sure Professor Longbottom knew this, and would use my bad grade as an excuse to talk to me one-on-one again. And this time, I feared he would bring up the event of last Christmas and force me to talk about it.

By the time I arrived at the Great Hall, I still hadn't come up with any solutions and decided to simply write the essay as best I could. I scowled at a couple Hufflepuff first-years, frightening them out of the hall, and sat down on the nearest empty seat at the Gryffindor table. I wolfed everything down quickly, determined to get some books on Carnivorous Carmine plants from the library before curfew.

Someone plopped down in the empty seat beside me. "Hey Victoire."

I glanced over without pausing in my chewing. "Selma."

Selma Spinnet grabbed a ladle and began spooning mushroom soup in her bowl. She was a tall sixth-year with short red hair, a strong jaw, and my fellow Beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. This year she'd been promoted to team captain and frequently reminded me of practice times, since no one else on the team spoke to me.

"Practice is tomorrow at one," she said. "I reckon none of the other house teams wanted to practice on Halloween."

"Better make sure the team doesn't eat too much at the lunch then," I said. "Otherwise they-"

"Won't be able to fly?"

"I was going to say 'will spend the entire practice spewing', but that works too."

Selma cracked a grin. "I'll remember to warn them. Or maybe not, since they'll assume you're insulting them."

"Probably," I admitted. "Who are we playing in our next match?"

"Slytherin this Saturday," she said. "Luckily, their captain, Zabini, has a detention and won't be able to play."

I snickered; Baxter Zabini was a complete arse and my least favourite person on the Slytherin Quidditch team, which was saying a lot. Selma's triumphant grin disappeared as she fixed me with a severe look. "Which reminds me…you'd better not get another detention on Saturday too."

"That was one match!" I protested.

"It was our first match, and the whole Gryffindor team should have been present," rebuked Selma. "I'm sure you know the rest of the team isn't that fond of you to begin with, and you're not exactly trying to change their perception."

"Yeah, whatever," I muttered. "My detention is the day after Halloween, anyway."

Her jaw dropped. "On Thursday? You seriously have a detention? For what?"

"I didn't finish my Transfiguration homework." Which was true, but Professor Patil probably would have let it pass if I hadn't been sassing her during her queries about why I didn't do homework.

Selma sighed and began slurping her soup. Once I swallowed my last bite of beef stew, I checked the ornate clock on the wall and stood up.

"I have to go, I need to do some research in the library before curfew," I told her.

She nodded and waved good-bye before turning to speak to her friends. I left the Great Hall and headed to the castle's east wing on the third floor.

The hallways were mostly devoid of students, considering that it was dinnertime. My harsh footsteps pattering on the floor were unnaturally loud and echoing off the marble walls. The paintings on the wall were staring at me and whispering to each other, no doubt listing my various transgressions. At one point I swore I heard someone laugh, but when I looked back there was no on there. Assuming it was one of the portraits, I shrugged and continued walking.

Once the library was in sight, I had mixed feelings of eagerness and dread. The rational part of me knew I needed to do some Herbology research, but I honestly didn't want to. My feet dragged a bit as I approached the thick oaken door.

"Flipendo!"

Without warning, the force of an ironclad punch struck me in the back. I fell and smashed my face onto the floor. A coppery taste trickled into my mouth, and I realized my nose had broken.

Spitting out blood, I reached for my wand in my robe sleeve, but the same voice-which I now recognized as Fatima's-cried, "Petrificus Totalus!"

For the second time that day, my limbs locked together and I became paralyzed. My wand dropped from my grasp and skittered across the marble floor. A few seconds later, the grinning face of Judy, Fatima and Eleanor-the other third-year Gryffindor girls who happened to hate me-appeared in my field of vision.

"Nice day for a Body-Bind, isn't it Victoire?" cooed Judy, picking up my wand. "So much for being the best duellist in Gryffindor."

I tried to spit a retort, but my jaw refused to cooperate. Instead, I rolled my eyes and glared.

"It's awful to feel helpless like this, isn't it?" commented Judy. "Like when they died and you couldn't do anything about it?"

Rage coursed through me, so intense that I literally saw red. I fought the curse as hard as I could, but I didn't move an inch.

Judy smirked and kicked me in the side. Pain flared from my waist, and I knew there would be some bruising. "Fatima, if you please?"

A slender wand was pointed at me. "Mobiliarcorpus!"

I felt myself rise a few feet into the air and Fatima levitated me inside a nearby broom closet. When it dawned on me what Judy's plan was, I struggled even harder, stretching every part of my body in my furious attempt to escape, but of course it was futile.

I was dumped unceremoniously into the closet, my head banging against the back wall. Judy hurled my wand at my face. It bounced off my forehead and landed beside me.

"Get comfortable," she hissed. "You won't be coming out of there for a long, long while."

She closed the door, and a sound not unlike a trio of giggling hyenas faded into the distance.

I absolutely hated it when Judy was right. It took three bloody hours for the curse to wear off. If I hadn't been so outraged at the three of them, I would have been impressed with Fatima's spellwork. I was certain it was past curfew, which meant I'd have to do my Herbology research another day.

I was propped upright the whole time, so I was able to feel the blood from my shattered nose slowly slide down the front of my robes without being able to do anything about it. When the Body-Bind finally vanished, the first thing I did was grab my wand and mutter, "Tergeo" in an attempt to siphon the blood off my robes. Unfortunately, it didn't work, probably because I had spent more time working on offensive and defensive magic rather than healing spells.

After a few more fruitless efforts, I gave up and stowed my wand back in my sleeve. Flinging open the closet door, I checked both ways before taking off down the corridor. I whipped around the first corner and promptly collided with another student.

Loudly cursing my bad luck, I stumbled backwards. The other student let out a startled shout but managed to stay balanced. I automatically glanced at the student's face and groaned aloud.

"Edward," I said.

He stared at me quizzically. His black-and-yellow Hufflepuff robes were now wrinkled, and his prefect badge had been knocked askew. "Huh?"

"That's your name. Did you forget, or has it been changed since I last spoke to you?"

"Very funny, Victoire," said Edward. "No, my name has not changed. Only, literally everyone refers to me as Teddy."

"Yes, well, I called you by your real name. Get over it."

"Very well." Edward's voice remained polite, but the roots of his hair were slowly turning bright orange. He was a Metamorphmagus, which allowed him to change his appearance at will. Whenever his emotions spiked, his hair or eye colour tended to reflect the appropriate colour until he managed to control his reactions. In this case, I figured orange symbolised exasperation, which I could sympathise with because I felt exactly the same way.

I knew all this because my uncle, Harry Potter, happened to be his godfather. Edward and his grandmother usually attended the Potter-Weasley gatherings held throughout the year, which meant I saw him way more often than I wanted to.

He surveyed me, his features alternating between concern and disgust as his gaze swept over my broken nose and bloodstained robes. "What happened to you?" he asked.

"Er…I tripped and smacked my face on the floor." Which was partially true. There was no way I was telling anyone that I got jumped and locked in a broom closet by another Gryffindor third year half my size. My pride wouldn't let me, even if it would land Judy and her cronies a few months' worth of detention.

"What did you trip over, your own feet?"

"Very funny, Edward. No, there was a…puddle in the corridor."

"Filch is the fussiest caretaker in the world," he said pointedly. "You're telling me he missed an entire puddle?"

"Fine, don't believe me!" I shouted. "What do you think I did, murder a couple of Slytherins?!"

His eyes hardened. "That's not funny."

"It wasn't supposed to be," I sneered.

Edward adjusted his robes and badge, then stood up straight. His voice became flat and dispassionate as he said, "Seeing as you are out past curfew, that will be thirty points from Gryffindor. Additionally, I will be escorting you back to your dormitory."

I exhaled loudly. "That won't be necessary."

"Yes it is, no use arguing about it," he said. He extracted his wand from his robes and waved it at me. "Tergeo. Episkey."

The bloodstains on my robes vanished instantly. I flinched as a burning pain filled my nose before fading a second later, and when I reached up I could tell the bones were mended. He tucked his wand away and beckoned for me to follow him.

Seeing I had little choice, I obeyed. While my stride was closer to a strut, his walk was stiff and controlled. Edward led me up the moving staircases to the seventh floor and confidently took several turns in the corridors. I was surprised he knew where the Gryffindor common room was, but I supposed all prefects and Head Boys and Girls were given directions to all the House common rooms.

We stopped in front of the Fat Lady's portrait. I waited for Edward to leave, but he remained in place, watching me like I was caged Chimaera threatening to escape.

"Are you going to leave anytime soon?" I finally asked.

"I need to ensure you enter your common room," he replied.

"Are you bloody serious?!" I exclaimed angrily. "You're a Hufflepuff, I can't say the password in front of you!"

"You can whisper it to the Fat Lady," he said. "Although I doubt you have the capability to speak softly."

I glared at him and stalked up to the painting. She glanced at Edward and whispered rather loudly to me, "Password, dear?"

"Fire crab," I muttered.

She nodded and swung open, revealing the round entrance to the Gryffindor common room. Just when I was about to climb in, Edward added, "Stay in your dormitory tonight."

I whirled around. "Excuse me?"

He pointed at my face. "You have bags under your eyes that are darker than some seventh-years. Clearly you're not sleeping."

I was stunned into silence. No one had ever pointed that out, at least not to my face.

"You…" I was too incensed to think properly. The stress of being Body-Bound twice in one day, scolded by Professor Longbottom, lectured by Selma, attacked by Judy and her cronies, and now cross-examined by Edward Lupin of all people, was catching up to me. "Mind your own bloody business and leave me alone!"

I stormed into the Gryffindor common room. The first thing I spotted was Judy, Fatima, and Eleanor playing Exploding Snap near the fire. They were settled into squashy red armchairs and trading cards. Judy caught sight of me and pointed, and the three of them dissolved into laughter.

I swept them a freezing glare which they pretended not to see, and went up to the girl's dormitory. After making sure the bathroom was empty, I entered and locked the door behind me. To be on the safe side, I cast Collorputus on the doorknob.

I turned back around and looked at myself in the mirror, breathing in deeply. I may be part-Veela, but the only thing I have in common with my mother is her colouring: fair skin, blue eyes, pale blonde hair which I kept at shoulder-length. She often remarked that my unruly nature was more similar to my dad's, back when he attended Hogwarts.

I separated a thick strand of my hair from the rest and kept it bunched together in one hand. I removed my wand from my robe sleeve, pointed it at the strand, and said clearly, "Crinus Moto."

Tendrils of steam fizzled off the strand as it slowly turned from blonde to pink. I smiled faintly and repeated the process with another strand. This time, it turned blue beneath my fingertips.

There was something relaxing about dying my hair. It could be considered rebellious since no other Hogwarts student had dyed hair, but that wasn't why I dyed it. For me it was therapeutic, as it reminded me of past events that were both good and bad and served as a prompt of what happened last Christmas. I also had to admit I preferred my appearance with highlights; it made me look older than thirteen and a whole lot tougher than I really was.

Once I finished adding multiple pink and blue highlights in my hair, I put my wand down and surveyed my handiwork in the mirror. My smile widened. It looked almost exactly like the day I dyed my hair for the first time-last year on Valentine's Day.

Several loud knocks rained down on the door. "Hurry up, Victoire! I need to take a shower!" hollered Judy.

"Too bad, I got here first!" I yelled back before turning on the shower full blast. It was an improvisation, but there was no way I was letting Judy get what she wanted after abandoning me in a closet for three hours.

Through the door I heard her curse me under her breath and exit the dormitory. I opened the door a crack and confirmed that the room was empty before seizing my wand. I pointed it at my four-poster bed and said, "Accio pajamas."

My cherry-red pajamas flew out of my open trunk and into my hands. A fleeting grin crossed my face before I closed the door, stripped my robes off, and lost myself in the rush of cooling water.