STEVEN UNIVERSE
AUTHOR'S NOTE: WHO STOLE THE COOKIE FROM THE COOKIE JAR?
YOU.
One day in Steven Universe world, Greg and Steven were doing their ukulele singing about Alabama.
"Gee, Steven!" shouted Greg, "You sing so well!"
"Fuck off, dad!" laughed Steven.
Suddenly there was loud rumbling at the car wash where Greg worked, and then an explosion.
"WHAT THE!"
The explosion was so loud, the entire city shook.
"OH NO!" cried Greg, "IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!"
Steven made those weird "whuah WUAH" noises he makes when distressed.
"STEEEEVEN!" cried Pearl.
"WHAT?"
She suddenly flew away because she was actually a bird all this time.
Out of nowhere, Rose Quartz appeared. "GREEEEG!" she bellowed as she flew over to Greg. "YOU FUCKING LOCKED ME IN THE GARAGE!"
Steven gasped, "HUH?!"
"HONEY?!"
"GREG, GOD DAMN IT." continued Rose. "YOU FUCKING CONFUSED ME FOR A GOD DAMN CAR AGAIN, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"
"WHAT?"
The entire city continued to shake violently as if it was align with the rage Rose expelled.
"MOM?!"
Rose sighed. "MANY YEARS AGO, I LET GREG RIDE ON MY BACK. WE WERE PLAYING 'GREG PRETENDS TO RIDE A CONVERTIBLE'. HE WENT INTO HIS CAR WASH AND I PRETENDED TO PARK LIKE A CAR INTO THE GARAGE TO WHICH HE SHUT THE CAR DOOR AND NEVER OPENED IT AGAIN. I have been stuck in there ever since."
Greg and Steven were silent.
"DAD!" screamed Steven "How could you?!"
"It was an honest mistake!"
"YOU. FUCKING. BITCH." screeched Rose. "YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS."
Garnet appeared and said her famous catchphrase. "Me this. Me that. Me all the time. Me is good. Hey tumblr make me more money."
Two months later, everybody died.
The End.