Hi, quick short story, hope everyone enjoys it.
It is just sitting in the corner, all pristine and shiny, mocking me, this item that will surely be my downfall. The empty trashcan. To a casual outside observer an empty trashcan would pose no threat, it would actually be a welcomed sight. But to me this has been the object of my inner turmoil for the past three months.
My war against the empty trashcan began a week after moving Killian's belongings into my house (yes I kept the house I bought as the Dark One but the real-estate market is the true evil). After everything we had been through, separation between realms, darkness and Hell, it only seemed right to be as close as possible as soon as possible. However when reuniting with the person you love more than anything and getting caught up in each other, there seemed to be little time to discuss house chores. Of course things like that seem so trivial in the grand scheme of things, but as I sit on the hard tiled surface of my kitchen and look at this damn empty trashcan I feel more despair now than I ever did fighting mine and everyone else's demons.
Growing up the way I did doing chores such as taking out the garbage seemed mandatory. I often felt like the only reason I was kept around was to do work and bring in a check. I started to resent doing chores, especially after it felt like no matter how good of a job I did I would still be sent away. Years later I remember living with a girl, Cyndi, in Chicago who almost never took out the trash. She would just pile it higher and higher like a game of Jenga. She would even go so far as to start leaving boxes of pizza and other trash outside of the trashcan and just start a pile. It's like she thought some magical trash fairy came overnight and just poofed all of her trash away. That not being the case at all, instead myself being the one to take out all of the garbage all of the time, I called her out on this. One big fight later, about how I am too much of a controlling neat freak and should be grateful anyone would want to live with me, lead me out of the windy city and onto a bus towards Columbus. Even Snow White seemed to have an issue when it came to taking out the trash. Sure, she was always cleaning the dishes, making dinner, scrubbing the floors, but the trash always appeared to go unnoticed and untouched by her.
So the first week after Killian moves in and there is no pile of trash and there is a clean bag in the can I feel tears come to my eyes. Finally I am not the one left to take out the garbage. He got a very special treat that night without knowing why. When the next week rolled around and there was no trash again I was still happy. The third time is when something started to bother me. As said before, when Killian moved in house chores were something never really discussed. I suppose it was just assumed we would do our parts when the necessity arose. Delegating chores has honestly always made me nervous as well. I never want to seem like I am being too demanding or too picky about being tidy so small stuff like this goes unmentioned. However after four weeks of not taking out the trash I start to feel helpless. What if Killian thinks I am not pulling my own weight around the house? What if he thinks I am lazy and taking advantage of his kindness? Or what if he thinks that he has to do this, like I won't want him unless he does anything but because of that he slowly starts to resent me? Before I was always worried about some sort of villain keeping us apart but what if the thing that keeps us apart is our inability to live together? What if it is just me?
He seems happy enough though so I try my best to squash these fears but as time goes on they only grow. Maybe the trash is not the only problem, maybe he doesn't like the way I spend twenty minutes in the bathroom each morning. Maybe I can't live with a person who doesn't clean the sink after shaving each time. Maybe we should be taking our shoes off at the front door to keep the floors cleaner, would that bother him?
Three months of all of these questions and insecurities have left me a mess by my stainless steel trashcan and that is how I am found by my boyfriend when he enters the house.
"Love, is everything alright?" he rushes towards me after spotting me after hanging up his coat. "It looks like you have been crying, why are you on the floor lass?" he sits down beside me and pulls me close. It is true I have been crying and the tears come once again as I fall into his embrace. I don't want him to leave me. He strokes my hair to calm me down while I get his shirt all wet. After four minutes of this I regain my breathing but keep my face buried in his shoulder.
"Are you happy living with me?" I ask him quietly. From my place on his shoulder I can feel him stiffen and then I am being slowly pulled back to face him.
"Emma, love, why would you ask me that? Of course I am happy here with you and the lad." His face is full of concern as I wipe my face clean with my sleeve.
"But I never take out the trash. Doesn't that bother you?"
Now his face is full of surprise as he listens to my question. "Swan of course that doesn't bother me! I want to take care of you."
"But you can't want to do that all of the time!" I say getting angry and loud all of a sudden, "doesn't anything bother you about living with me?" I have to know what he is feeling because if I am the only one with these fears then that means there must be something wrong with me. After a moment of silence and him looking away I start to panic. Now I am truly acting like a crazy person, "Well isn't there!?" I shout.
With a sigh he turns back to look at me. "I don't like the way you leave your clothes everywhere in the bedroom. We have a dresser, I cannot grasp why you would not want to use it. Stuff like that on my ship would have never happened." He looks guilty about saying this.
I must admit I feel calmer after this and marginally better. I take his hand in mine, "Why didn't you say something?" I ask.
"This is your house, I did not want to appear ungrateful." He states. It is crazy how two adults who claim to love each other unconditionally can leave so much inside.
"I don't want this to be my house," I tell him, "I want it to be our house, our home."
He gives me a small smile at that. "That is my wish too. I have not had one in so long, being alone for some time now, that I am afraid I am out of practice." He pulls me back towards him again. A moment after this embrace he asks, "Why did you not tell me that cleaning out your waste receptacle bothered you so?"
I fiddle with the buttons on his shirt as I answer, "I guess like you I've been out of the having a home game for a while. I didn't want to come off as complaining too much and being annoying." Saying all of this out loud is making me realize how ridiculous this has been, how I can't keep letting my fears control me.
"Saying what is on your mind and bothering you will never be annoying to me, love. I wish only to care for you and help you anyway I can."
"Ditto," I poke him causing him to give a chuckle. "Too bad they don't tell you the challenges after the fairytale like learning how to be domestic." I sigh as he starts to stroke my hair again. At one point we will have to get up off this floor but for now it feels good to be held after so much stress.
"I believe the best way to go about is to always be honest and say what is bothering us." He states.
I turn to look at him and smile, "Honestly, I love you."
Now his smile is huge and lights his whole face making him truly stunning, "And I love you." He responds before capturing my lips.
XXXX
The next morning as I make my way to the fridge for milk I notice the white dry erase board on it has writing:
-Killian cleans the bathroom
-Emma folds the laundry
-The person who does not cook cleans the dishes
-Killian cuts the grass
-Other chores to be discussed as they arise
-HENRY TAKES OUT THE TRASH