Uni: Wow a Digimon fics O.o *looks at surroundings* I kind of missed this
place.
Matt: She owns nothing of it!
Uni: Thank you, Matt, you are a sweetheart -.-
Matt: No prob. *walks to Kouji who is talking to Kouichi inside the computer*
Uni: And thanks to my beta Bob the frog for being so lovely *hugs*
Well This fics have come quite a way since I started it. I was planning to make one more Takouji/Koukuya before Frontiers ending, but then the whole NC-17 thing happened and it all went to *looks at PG* hell.
So now I have watched the ending and here a couple of months later is the result of my thinking. I hope that at least some of you will like it.
Viva
'I can't believe I did that! I told him. I finally told him. It feels kind of good though. To finally have it out in the open'
Takuya was sitting under a tree in the park near his house. The tree was placed on a small hill that made it the highest spot in the park and from where Takuya was sitting he could over look the entire greenery. It was beautiful really. Takuya however didn't see it. He was too busy contemplating the fact that he had just told his best friend and crush that he liked him. It wasn't true. He loved the other boy but Takuya hadn't felt the need to scare his friend more than absolutely necessary and he had thought it was more than enough for one night to tell him that he liked him. He could always get the rest later.
He had been right too. The fact that he had told him he liked him, as more than a friend, had been more then enough. Kouji, for him it was, had gone white as a sheet. He hadn't said anything, but the emotion that uncharacteristically had been visible on his face and his actions afterwards had been more then enough. Takuya had seen both confusion, anger and something akin to betrayal visible in his beautiful eyes, before the other boy had raised his hand that had hovered in the air for a moment before he dropped it to his side again and turned to run. For a moment there Takuya had been sure Kouji would have hit him.
The goggle headed boy sighed and leaned back against the trunk. "Come down Kouji, I know you are up there." He half yelled, watching as the ebony haired boy, gracefully jumped down from the large treetop above them.
"If you are here to tell me off Kouji, don't bother I think I got the message." He stated quietly looking down at the half long straws of grass he was sitting on.
Kouji just went over to stand beside Takuya, leaning his back against the large oak, as he tilted his head to the side, looking down at the shorter boy beside him in a studying manor.
They stayed like that, in complete silence for a few minutes, before Kouji broke it. "Why do you like me?" he asked, voice small, catching Takuya completely off guard.
"Huh?" he managed to get out, before he seemed to regain his composure. "What kind of question is that?!" Takuya asked looking up at the boy hovering above him, genuinely confused.
"I just want to know." He shrugged, looking nonchalant, though Takuya knew better, or at least he thought he did. He just wasn't entirely sure why Kouji was interested, but he was damn well going to find out, if it was the last thing he did! So deciding on his usual approach on things when it came to Kouji, he narrowed his eyes up at him.
"And I suppose you want details." He asked, though it wasn't really a question. Takuya knew Kouji would never settle with 'because you are nice or sweet or pretty' besides, calling him pretty was probably not the best way of winning Kouji over at the moment.
And as predicted Kouji just raised a fine eyebrow at him, before he moved away from the tree and sat down Indian style, on front of Takuya, the whole air around him seemed to be saying 'I have all night'.
Takuya sighed at that, looking down at the grass again. "Where do you want me to start?" he asked, directing his attention back to the boy that was now sitting in front of him.
"I don't know. The beginning." The raven-haired boy almost whispered as he suddenly looked uncomfortable.
Takuya just nodded. He really didn't know why he had asked Kouji. The object of his affection wouldn't know when it had started any better then he himself did, because in truth Takuya really had no idea where to begin. He guessed that the first time he had really felt anything for Kouji that had been stronger than that of normal friendship was so long ago he wasn't sure he wouldn't scare the bandanna clad boy away if he told him. But then again how big was the possibility that Kouji could be scared further away then he already had been when Takuya had told him how he felt, so sighing at that thought, Takuya started.
"I always felt something for you Kouji. Ever since I met you." He almost whispered, wishing to all that was holy that he was anywhere but where he was.
Kouji's eyes widened slightly "Takuya we met each other when we were eleven." he trailed off, clearly not really believing his own words.
"I know that!" Takuya snapped, then sighed, "I am sorry Kouji, I didn't mean to snap at you. Okay yes I did, but this is really hard for me you know? So if you could just be quiet until I am done." Kouji just raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything, just crocked his head to the side as if telling Takuya to continue.
Takuya smiled slightly before he continued. "I really hated you, you know. For the longest time" Kouji just blinked questioningly.
Takuya shrugged "I liked Izumi." He stated sounding like he found this oddly amusing. Kouji nodded. Takuya and Izumi had actually dated for a while a couple of years ago, he guessed that this was the reason why Takuya's confession had come as such a shock, but Takuya just shook his head. "No I don't think you get it. I mean I REALLY liked her, even back then, and then suddenly boom, I was a part of you, and you were a part of me, and afterwards it was like the digitalworld after its rebirth. It was the same, but different."
Takuya sighed again. Trying to put his feelings into words seemed to be battling, fighting Lucemon for the fist place of hardest-thing-Takuya-ever- had-to-do. "I still liked Izumi, but something had suddenly put a barrier up. At first it was just like a buzzing in the back of my head or something like that, but in the end, everything just." Takuya trailed off again. It had been very hard for him to come to terms with his new found feelings, and he still wasn't sure if he truly liked other boys or if it was just Kouji. He knew that somehow the feelings for the dark haired boy had always been there, but they had been easily repressed.
"When we. became one. I felt you. Everything about you was just there, in my head, around me. Even just before Susanoomon was born, I felt the sadness and hurt you felt at loosing Kouichi again, and the pain you were in. I got so angry." Yet again, Takuya trailed off, and had to think, before he continued his explanation.
"When the others became a part of Susanoomon as well, it. I almost felt like it was an intrusion. He was us, you know? Only us, but then to come back the others joined in. I don't know. It hurt I guess. At that moment, Izumi became the barrier I wanted to disappear, because she was keeping me from you." Takuya trailed off. He didn't quite know how he should explain it, exactly, but he was sure that he wouldn't be able to do it any better then he already had.
"You know Takuya you have some nerve." Kouji stated evenly. Takuya started at that, his eyes going round as he looked at Kouji's pissed off expression. Then he frowned.
"What are you mad at me for, I am the one being rejected here!" he almost yelled. This only seemed to make it worse though, as Kouji's midnight blue eyes darkened to a nearly completely black colour.
"Did you feel what I felt?" He asked, dangerously low. Takuya frowned. Hadn't he already said that he did? He raised an eyebrow at Kouji as if to silently let him know that that was a stupid question.
"Well what did I feel then?" He asked, almost challengingly.
"Anger." Takuya stated, but Kouji didn't seem satisfied with the answer, so Takuya closed his eyes annoyed and tried to remember. "Sorrow." He recalled, and for the first time he tried to go deeper into the connection, that both boys knew was still at least partly, there "Happiness. Contentment." Takuya's eyes flew open and locked with the other boy's still narrowed ones.
"You. you." Takuya couldn't get the words formed correctly, to his great irritation his mind seemed to have turned to goo. Kouji seemed to understand that he had finally gotten the message though, as he smirked.
"I can't believe you didn't get it through your thick head before now." He stated sounding both amused and annoyed. "I knew there was something about you from the moment I met you, but unlike you, I dealt with it back then!" he said, his voice rising slightly at the end. "And unlike you, I still hate you. I have waited for so long it isn't even funny, for you to become aware of your feelings, but then you started dating Izumi and I realised that you were never going to come around. And I wasn't going to stay and wait for the miracle it would be if you somehow got it through."
Takuya was staring open mouthed at his friend. How was it that he hadn't seen all of this before, and now it was too late. Takuya felt like laughing and crying at the same time. This was unbelievable. All the times Kouji had saved him, risking his own safety and even his life. He wasn't even sure he wanted to remember all the times he had held the slightly taller boy in his arms after he had received a beating meant for Takuya.
"You know what the worst part is?" Kouji asked, ripping Takuya out of his thoughts of despair, and to the former goggle boy's great surprise, Kouji's voice sounded thick with tears. "I can't, not, care for you . I still love you."
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Well people, when I wrote this I felt like being very annoying. I couldn't think up a nice ending at that moment because I, for various reasons was pretty down. So when I send it to my beta I just ended it like it is here^^ I just really didn't have the strength to do 'happy' at the moment. Right now I am not sure how to continue it from here. I might do a sequel but I don't know. You are welcome to review. It is inspiring ^^
Matt: She owns nothing of it!
Uni: Thank you, Matt, you are a sweetheart -.-
Matt: No prob. *walks to Kouji who is talking to Kouichi inside the computer*
Uni: And thanks to my beta Bob the frog for being so lovely *hugs*
Well This fics have come quite a way since I started it. I was planning to make one more Takouji/Koukuya before Frontiers ending, but then the whole NC-17 thing happened and it all went to *looks at PG* hell.
So now I have watched the ending and here a couple of months later is the result of my thinking. I hope that at least some of you will like it.
Viva
'I can't believe I did that! I told him. I finally told him. It feels kind of good though. To finally have it out in the open'
Takuya was sitting under a tree in the park near his house. The tree was placed on a small hill that made it the highest spot in the park and from where Takuya was sitting he could over look the entire greenery. It was beautiful really. Takuya however didn't see it. He was too busy contemplating the fact that he had just told his best friend and crush that he liked him. It wasn't true. He loved the other boy but Takuya hadn't felt the need to scare his friend more than absolutely necessary and he had thought it was more than enough for one night to tell him that he liked him. He could always get the rest later.
He had been right too. The fact that he had told him he liked him, as more than a friend, had been more then enough. Kouji, for him it was, had gone white as a sheet. He hadn't said anything, but the emotion that uncharacteristically had been visible on his face and his actions afterwards had been more then enough. Takuya had seen both confusion, anger and something akin to betrayal visible in his beautiful eyes, before the other boy had raised his hand that had hovered in the air for a moment before he dropped it to his side again and turned to run. For a moment there Takuya had been sure Kouji would have hit him.
The goggle headed boy sighed and leaned back against the trunk. "Come down Kouji, I know you are up there." He half yelled, watching as the ebony haired boy, gracefully jumped down from the large treetop above them.
"If you are here to tell me off Kouji, don't bother I think I got the message." He stated quietly looking down at the half long straws of grass he was sitting on.
Kouji just went over to stand beside Takuya, leaning his back against the large oak, as he tilted his head to the side, looking down at the shorter boy beside him in a studying manor.
They stayed like that, in complete silence for a few minutes, before Kouji broke it. "Why do you like me?" he asked, voice small, catching Takuya completely off guard.
"Huh?" he managed to get out, before he seemed to regain his composure. "What kind of question is that?!" Takuya asked looking up at the boy hovering above him, genuinely confused.
"I just want to know." He shrugged, looking nonchalant, though Takuya knew better, or at least he thought he did. He just wasn't entirely sure why Kouji was interested, but he was damn well going to find out, if it was the last thing he did! So deciding on his usual approach on things when it came to Kouji, he narrowed his eyes up at him.
"And I suppose you want details." He asked, though it wasn't really a question. Takuya knew Kouji would never settle with 'because you are nice or sweet or pretty' besides, calling him pretty was probably not the best way of winning Kouji over at the moment.
And as predicted Kouji just raised a fine eyebrow at him, before he moved away from the tree and sat down Indian style, on front of Takuya, the whole air around him seemed to be saying 'I have all night'.
Takuya sighed at that, looking down at the grass again. "Where do you want me to start?" he asked, directing his attention back to the boy that was now sitting in front of him.
"I don't know. The beginning." The raven-haired boy almost whispered as he suddenly looked uncomfortable.
Takuya just nodded. He really didn't know why he had asked Kouji. The object of his affection wouldn't know when it had started any better then he himself did, because in truth Takuya really had no idea where to begin. He guessed that the first time he had really felt anything for Kouji that had been stronger than that of normal friendship was so long ago he wasn't sure he wouldn't scare the bandanna clad boy away if he told him. But then again how big was the possibility that Kouji could be scared further away then he already had been when Takuya had told him how he felt, so sighing at that thought, Takuya started.
"I always felt something for you Kouji. Ever since I met you." He almost whispered, wishing to all that was holy that he was anywhere but where he was.
Kouji's eyes widened slightly "Takuya we met each other when we were eleven." he trailed off, clearly not really believing his own words.
"I know that!" Takuya snapped, then sighed, "I am sorry Kouji, I didn't mean to snap at you. Okay yes I did, but this is really hard for me you know? So if you could just be quiet until I am done." Kouji just raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything, just crocked his head to the side as if telling Takuya to continue.
Takuya smiled slightly before he continued. "I really hated you, you know. For the longest time" Kouji just blinked questioningly.
Takuya shrugged "I liked Izumi." He stated sounding like he found this oddly amusing. Kouji nodded. Takuya and Izumi had actually dated for a while a couple of years ago, he guessed that this was the reason why Takuya's confession had come as such a shock, but Takuya just shook his head. "No I don't think you get it. I mean I REALLY liked her, even back then, and then suddenly boom, I was a part of you, and you were a part of me, and afterwards it was like the digitalworld after its rebirth. It was the same, but different."
Takuya sighed again. Trying to put his feelings into words seemed to be battling, fighting Lucemon for the fist place of hardest-thing-Takuya-ever- had-to-do. "I still liked Izumi, but something had suddenly put a barrier up. At first it was just like a buzzing in the back of my head or something like that, but in the end, everything just." Takuya trailed off again. It had been very hard for him to come to terms with his new found feelings, and he still wasn't sure if he truly liked other boys or if it was just Kouji. He knew that somehow the feelings for the dark haired boy had always been there, but they had been easily repressed.
"When we. became one. I felt you. Everything about you was just there, in my head, around me. Even just before Susanoomon was born, I felt the sadness and hurt you felt at loosing Kouichi again, and the pain you were in. I got so angry." Yet again, Takuya trailed off, and had to think, before he continued his explanation.
"When the others became a part of Susanoomon as well, it. I almost felt like it was an intrusion. He was us, you know? Only us, but then to come back the others joined in. I don't know. It hurt I guess. At that moment, Izumi became the barrier I wanted to disappear, because she was keeping me from you." Takuya trailed off. He didn't quite know how he should explain it, exactly, but he was sure that he wouldn't be able to do it any better then he already had.
"You know Takuya you have some nerve." Kouji stated evenly. Takuya started at that, his eyes going round as he looked at Kouji's pissed off expression. Then he frowned.
"What are you mad at me for, I am the one being rejected here!" he almost yelled. This only seemed to make it worse though, as Kouji's midnight blue eyes darkened to a nearly completely black colour.
"Did you feel what I felt?" He asked, dangerously low. Takuya frowned. Hadn't he already said that he did? He raised an eyebrow at Kouji as if to silently let him know that that was a stupid question.
"Well what did I feel then?" He asked, almost challengingly.
"Anger." Takuya stated, but Kouji didn't seem satisfied with the answer, so Takuya closed his eyes annoyed and tried to remember. "Sorrow." He recalled, and for the first time he tried to go deeper into the connection, that both boys knew was still at least partly, there "Happiness. Contentment." Takuya's eyes flew open and locked with the other boy's still narrowed ones.
"You. you." Takuya couldn't get the words formed correctly, to his great irritation his mind seemed to have turned to goo. Kouji seemed to understand that he had finally gotten the message though, as he smirked.
"I can't believe you didn't get it through your thick head before now." He stated sounding both amused and annoyed. "I knew there was something about you from the moment I met you, but unlike you, I dealt with it back then!" he said, his voice rising slightly at the end. "And unlike you, I still hate you. I have waited for so long it isn't even funny, for you to become aware of your feelings, but then you started dating Izumi and I realised that you were never going to come around. And I wasn't going to stay and wait for the miracle it would be if you somehow got it through."
Takuya was staring open mouthed at his friend. How was it that he hadn't seen all of this before, and now it was too late. Takuya felt like laughing and crying at the same time. This was unbelievable. All the times Kouji had saved him, risking his own safety and even his life. He wasn't even sure he wanted to remember all the times he had held the slightly taller boy in his arms after he had received a beating meant for Takuya.
"You know what the worst part is?" Kouji asked, ripping Takuya out of his thoughts of despair, and to the former goggle boy's great surprise, Kouji's voice sounded thick with tears. "I can't, not, care for you . I still love you."
----------------------------------------------------------
Well people, when I wrote this I felt like being very annoying. I couldn't think up a nice ending at that moment because I, for various reasons was pretty down. So when I send it to my beta I just ended it like it is here^^ I just really didn't have the strength to do 'happy' at the moment. Right now I am not sure how to continue it from here. I might do a sequel but I don't know. You are welcome to review. It is inspiring ^^