A/N: I own nothing!
So those who worry
If our hearts get torn
-David Gray
Calleigh stared at the wall, picking the skin around her fingernails obsessively. She swallowed thickly, forcing herself not to get dizzy thinking about it. She was trying to work it out in her head. The events of everything that had happened that day. Eight hours ago she had been fine- and then John Hagen killed himself in her lab. Ok, so maybe before that she hadn't been all the way ok, either.
But who could blame her?
It hadn't been that long since Speed's death, and she'd recently had a gun held to her head.
Who would be ok?
A bark of laughter escaped her mouth and she wasn't even sure what she was laughing at.
She shook her head, telling herself that she was acting insane; she was a police officer- she was supposed to take this kind of thing without getting too nuts.
Suddenly she felt something weird on her hand. She looked down to find blood pooling all around her thumbnail and the pointer finger.
She stared, shocked.
Then she shakily stood up and walked to her kitchen, turning on the faucet and putting her bloody hand under the steady stream of water.
She swallowed again at the sight of the blood-, which was weird, because it had never bothered her before.
She noticed she had blood on her shirt- but it didn't really matter- it was just an Old university tee shirt, anyway. She looked down again. She was wearing a tee shirt. When had she changed? She didn't remember changing. She was wearing jeans, which also had a few drops of blood on them.
She sighed and leaned against her counter, closing her eyes.
This was why Horatio had ordered her to see a psychiatrist.
She felt like she was slowly going insane.
Shakily, she brushed her hair out of her face, hoping she wouldn't get blood in that, too.
Her phone vibrated, and she grabbed it, annoyed. She was surprised when she nearly dropped it, her hands were shaking so badly, and, come to think of it, the rest of her was, too.
It was another text from Ryan.
It read: R u ok?
He'd texted her 8 times in the past four hours. Eric had called 13. Alexx had tried once, leaving a message saying she was there if she wanted to talk. Even Yelina had tried twice.
Calleigh ignored all of them. She didn't want to talk to anyone.
She pulled her hair into a sloppy ponytail so she wouldn't get it in the bloodbath that was her hand.
She ran it under water again.
She finally gave up and wrapped a tea towel around it, hoping that would stop the bleeding. It wasn't necessarily gushing- but there was enough blood to freak her out. And it was.
There was a small knock on her door.
She sighed.
It was him. She knew before she even went over there and stood on tiptoes to look out the peephole.
He was standing there, arms crossed, worried expression, all business.
She knew he wouldn't leave until she opened the door, so she swung it open, falsely cheery.
"Hey, Eric." She said, grinning.
He grinned back at her, but it was a pity smile, and she could tell he was doing it for her.
He knew she was acting, and she sort of knew he knew, but she couldn't help but try.
He stepped in and shut the door behind him.
"What'd you do to your hand?" He asked, motioning at her hand.
"Nothing." She chirped, shrugging her shoulders.
He looked at her with an expression she couldn't quite recognize, but grabbed her hand and unwrapped it from the tea towel.
"Shit." He said, in horrific awe.
He snapped out of it and pulled Calleigh into the kitchen. He pulled her medical basket out of the top cabinet-, which was quite impressive- she always had to use a chair or do a balancing act on the counter.
He was holding gauze and medical tape. She swallowed hard when she saw the blood and stars appeared in her vision. She bit her lip and tried to fight the growing dizziness.
"You okay?" Eric asked.
She was staring at the blood.
"Uh-huh." She said, but grabbed for his sleeve, feeling more and more dizzy by the second.
She swallowed hard for what felt like the thousandth time that night.
"Cal? Cal? Look at me. Cal?" His voice was slightly urgent.
She couldn't.
She was cold and her head hurt and it was all too much.
Her eyes filled with tears and she looked up at Eric.
He picked her up and set her on the counter.
"Calleigh." He said, hands on her shoulders- she was shaking worst than ever. "I need you to look at me." She stared straight past him. "Calleigh. You're scaring me."
She just looked past him, dazed look on her face.
"CALLEIGH!" He said, loudly.
She startled out of her reverie enough to look at him but she looked a bit dazed.
"Try to follow my finger." He dragged it slowly back and forth across Calleigh's line of vision, but it made her dizzy and it seemed to her that the shaking was getting whose- so she stopped, closing her eyes.
"I don't feel so good." She stated quietly.
"I know." He answered, pulling his fleece pullover off and putting it on Calleigh, leaving him in a tee shirt.
"We should go to the hospital, Cal."
"I'm not crazy."
"I know."
"I'm just tired." Her voice was thick with tears. She laid her head on his shoulder.
"Come on."
He picked her up once again and carried her to her room. He pulled back the covers and laid her in bed.
"Stay." She said, grabbing his wrist.
He nodded and toed his shoes off, climbing in beside her.
He pulled her into his arms and she laid her head in the crook of his neck.
"I can't stand to watch you destroy yourself like this, Cal."
"I'm sorry."
He sighed, rubbing her back.
"We'll talk about it in the morning."
A/N: Blech. That was awful. Reviews are still nice.