A/N: I apologize in advance for this story; there were probably four or five different ways I could have written this nightmare and they all wanted to have their say. Since I couldn't play favorites and have Tony with multiple nightmares (because there IS actually a plot behind all this fluff and angst; besides which Clint would then have, like, eight.) I decided to write them as dreams within dreams.
So what if I watched Inception a few days ago? *twiddles thumbs and stares off innocently into the distance, humming tunelessly* What?
Much thanks to my wonderful beta MountainRose for keeping me on track with this story. Without her, it'd be a bunch of semi colons and ellipses and nothing coherent whatsoever.
Anyway, here's A Life Without Spice… aka Tony's Worst. Dream. Ever. Including the one where Dummy tried to murder him in his sleep.
Warnings: Rated M (I'm very conservative with my ratings, if you couldn't tell…) for brief language and (SPOILER!) character death.
Disclaimer: I do not now, nor have I ever owned anything having to do with proprietary rights to Marvel and the Avengers.
.0.o.0.o.0.
Cold. Dark. Pain.
Screams.
Bubbles distorted the sound of those screams as they broke the surface of the water.
Tony Stark was not a happy camper; first off, his own damn weapons had been used to capture him, and then he'd had open heart surgery with no anesthetic to connect a car battery to his chest. The battery lay by his feet, out of sight, but not forgotten. The lip of the tub pressed the wires snaking from the hole in his chest down to it into his chest; every time he tried to breathe it jarred still-open incisions and broken ribs.
Laughter. There was laughter coming from above him. He could just hear it through the turmoil of his thrashing in the water.
The bad guys had come in, all smiles and promises, asking him to make a Jericho missile for them.
And he'd said no.
He was regretting that decision now.
The best part about this water torture was the fact that when water got into the… metal cylinder… in his sternum… it burned, like thousands of bees crawling in his chest. He decided that, once they stopped, if they ever stopped, he was going to make sure that they never did anything like this again.
He and Yinsen… they'd make sure.
Tony Stark had decided. The world really did need heroes. And he was going to be one of them.
.0.o.0.o.0.
Tony pulled himself from his flashback with a start, wondering if anyone else had noticed his drift off into his past. If the number of people laughing quietly with one another and calling for champagne meant anything, no one had.
"Sir? You alright?"
Well, Hogan had.
Tony shook himself slightly, and plastered a smile on his face. "Yeah, I'm fine, of course I'm fine. Just look at this," he gestured with his glass, "An entire room filled with beautiful ladies." The bodyguard's smile was quickly replaced by a stern look and a subtle nod of his head for Tony to turn around. The billionaire sighed. He knew this event would be crawling with reporters; why had he decided to come here without a plus one again? Even that mousey assistant from the office would have done nicely…
"She's actually quite cute, sir."
"That means she's alright, coming from you." Tony sighed. "Remind me to have Sam… Sarah? Stacey? Remind me to have my assistant to copy me on all future party plans. This one has too many ambulance chasers for my taste." Tony turned around, and his breath left him. Just in front of him had to be the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen.
Strawberry hair fell in soft waves just past her shoulders, her eyes a deep blue that seared him all the way down to his battered soul. Then there was her smile; as she walked up to the bar next to him, she made the room around her sparkle.
To be fair though, that might have been his fourth champagne.
"Cute? You heretic." Tony barely heard Hogan chuckle at his muttered comment; he was too focused on the goddess in front of him. "So, where did you come from, and are there more out there like you?"
There was a barely noticeable roll of the beauty's eyes as she huffed out a little laugh. His world spun.
"Let me guess, Brown?"
"Actually, I'm a Berkley girl, Mr. Stark." Never in the entirety of Tony Stark's life had a woman's voice alone given him such a hard on. If he ever got embarrassed, now would be the time… but all he could think about was the woman in front of him.
"I'm so sorry, but I don't believe we've officially met." Tony said. The woman held out her hand.
"My escort is around here somewhere, but I wanted to meet you and couldn't wait for him. My name is Virginia, Virginia Potts."
.0.o.0.o.0.
Mwah-ha-ha-ha! Leaving you hanging! Please review!