The Quest…

For a sandwich

Foreword by the Author

This story takes place on a physical world much like Earth, but, because it is an alternate reality, the society and technology are very different on this planet called Thera. I warn you, don't make any non-physical comparisons between Thera and Earth, because if you did, they would be wrong. I don't care what they are, I'm the author and I say that they are wrong. Ok, now to the story.

Chapter 1

Now our hero, Jeesam, well actually hero is to specific of a term, considering that he never does anything heroic, so lets call him the "main character." Now our main character in just getting out of bed, at 2 0'clock in the after noon, with two thoughts foremost in his mind. The first is, I had too much vodka, and the second is, man, I really want a sandwich. After shakily making his way down the stairs, Jeesam is about to bite into half of a nice juicy chicken sandwich (where the other half is we may never find out.), when suddenly two royal guards knock down the door and grab him.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?" Is Jeesam's immediate response.

"You are under arrest." The shorter of the two guards responded.

"May I ask why?"

"Yes, you may."

"Okay, why am I under arrest?"

"At Emperor Shrub's royal parade, you were seen making funny faces and you stated that you think that the Emperor's father is really a Cappy Barra." The shorter guard put on a confused expression and continued, "We are still not sure what a Cappy Barra is, but we are almost positive that it is an insult."

"Almost positive?"

"If you would tell us what it is we could be absolutely positive."

Because a Cappy Barra is the world's largest rodent, Jeesam quickly changed the subject by saying, "Where are you taking me?"

The bulkier of the two guards, who looked like a complete moron (though that is an unfair assumption, for all you know he could be one of the greatest thinkers of the time. Or he could be a complete idiot. I think the latter is more likely.), put on a deep melodramatic voice and said, "You will go to the Emperor's secret prison in the Arctic Circle, which doesn't exist to the public. There you will be forgotten and, eventually, die of old age." The guard then stared at the TV which was playing a program that featured happy, cute bunnies being gored by bendy-straws. Both the other guard and Jeesam stared at him.

The guard regained his composure first. "You will now come with us for the long journey to your doom."