Shadows and Lights:
Villains After Hours
Tenki: Hello! I'm Tenki! And welcome to the special on the villains of anime.
Himizu: (stands there waiting)
Tenki: (whispers loudly) Read the cue card!
Himizu: Oh.Right! And I'm Himizu!
Tenki: Maybe this time we'll get done with the interview!
Himizu: Don't raise their hopes like that!
Tenki: Or maybe not!
Himizu: Shouldn't we start?
Tenki: Yea! First, let's meet our camera man, Treize Kushrenada!
Treize: (glares)
Himizu: Anyways! Let's get to our first vict-interviewee, the Digimon Kaizer!
Kaizer: Ken, please.
Tenki: So, what's it like being in control of all those digimon and getting to use the whip?
Kaizer: I don't do that anymore.
Himizu: So why are you here?
Kaizer: You're the one who invited me.
Himizu: Did I?
Ken: Yes, you did.
Himizu: Oh. Ok, bye.
Tenki: Well.Here's my old.friend! Brad!
Brad: Friend.or FRIEND?
Tenki: Sh! They don't know about that!
Himizu: Yes we do.
Tenki: So, how are things going for you?
Brad: You know, same old. Horny as Hell. Pun intended.
Tenki: Hah!.Who's Hell?
Himizu: (sweatdrops)
silence for about 5 minutes
Tenki: (looks around) On to our next guest!
Himizu: Oh look! It's.DUN DUN DUN.MIKAGI!!
Mikagi: Where's my man?
Himizu: Do you take substitutions?
Mikagi: I said where's my MAN?
Himizu: Oh? Damn. You're no fun.
Mikagi: You'd be surprised how much fun male on male relationships are.
Himizu: When you say "Man on man", is that literal or figurative?
Mikagi: How do you think it sounds?
Tenki: I think it sounds kinky!
Himizu: I think you should shut your face!
Tenki: (whispering) Sh.It's THAT time of the month!
Himizu: Shut the *radio edit* up!
Tenki: Oh, it really is? Sorry!
Mikagi: (walks off)
Himizu: Oh, great! Now who do I interview?
Farf: I've got cookies!
Tenki: Farfie!
Himizu: He's gay.
Tenki: No way! I couldn't tell! Okay, you can go now. Oh, and leave the cookies.
Farf: Okey dokey! (leaves)
Tenki: Ashitare, comeone down! Himizu: That's the wrong show.
Tenki: Dang it!
Ashitare: (incoherent Chubaca sounds)
Tenki: Oh my gosh! He WHAT?
Ashitare: (more incoherent Chubaca sounds)
Tenki: Are you guys getting this?! This is fascinating!
Himizu: Uhh.Can I get this subbed? The dubbings a little bad.
Treize: (moves hands in unknown motions and moves mouth with no sounds coming out)
Himizu: Anyway, let's move on. If it isn't our old friend.(whispers) What's his name?
Tenki: Sesshou-Maru.
Himizu: Ah yes! Sessy!
Ses: I'm gay.
Himizu: Who the Hell isn't gay now?
Tenki: I'm not!
Himizu: (sweatdrops) At this rate, this'll be our shortest interview ever. NEXT!
Tenki: Seventeen!
17: (with lisp) It'th Thuper Theventeen. Get it thtraight!
Himizu: Heheh.Straight.
Tenki: Please tell me you just had a tooth pulled.
Himizu: I think he's gay.
Tenki: No!
17: Yeth! (grabs Sessy's hand)
Tenki: NEXT!!
Himizu: And now for a change, a girl!
Audience: Ooooh! Ahhhh!
Kodachi: Ohohohohoho!
Tenki: Santa Clause!
Kodachi: No.but you can sit on my lap!
Tenki: Uhh.No.But will you still give me presents?
Kodachi: No.
Tenki: Damn it!
Himizu: For Christ's sake! Even the girls a homo!
Kodachi: I prefer to call it open-minded.
Tenki: Now, for a masculine man, probably the only straight one here, Lord Sacher!
Sacher: (behind camera with Treize, hand down his pants)
Himizu: God damn it! If I don't get laid, I'm gonna be pissed!
Tenki: I got laid last time!
Brad: Who didn't?
Himizu: (sighs) Here's Valgarv.
Val: Hey there! How you doin?
Himizu: Pretty shitty.
Val: What happened to the censoring?
Himizu: Shit! That damned Treize! He IS getting paid for this!
Val: I think you're tense. (steps closer) You should calm down.
Himizu: (gets hint) Could you help?
Val: (puts arm around her) Follow me.
Tenki: (looks around) Hello.?
Akio: (comes in car)
Tenki: (drools)
Akio: Do you need a napkin?
Tenki: Uh.Nice car. (wipes drool away) Umm.You must be one of the people I'm supposed to interview. And you must be Akio.right? And I.I'm.T-t- t.What's my name again? Akio: The card says it's Tenki.
sounds from another room
Himizu: Oh my God! It's huge!
Tenki: Damn it! She's getting laid!
Akio: (looks around to where sound is coming from and sweatdrops)
Tenki: So.
Akio: Yea.
Tenki and Akio: (start making out furiously on Akio's car)
camera falls all Blair Witch like and screen goes blank *** **** *** unknown amount of time later
Himizu: (hair messed up, blushing) And we're back!
Tenki: (shirt backwards) Heheh.
Himizu: Hey, wait a minute. Weren't we supposed to go to FY?
Tenki: Next time!
Val: Hello Himizu.
Himizu: Heheh.
Tenki: Heheh.(looks at dent in car hood and blushes)
Val: Oh, that had to hurt.
Tenki: It did.
5 more minutes of silence
Himizu: So.
Val: Wanna have sex again?
Tenki: I will!
Akio: What about ME?
Val: What ABOUT you? Akio: What about your mom?
Tenki and Himizu: Oooooh!
Val: What about her?
Tenki and Himizu: Ahhh!
Akio: She's fat! Val: Oh yea! How would you know?
Akio: I laid her last night!
Himizu: Ew.
Tenki: Was she in dragon form?
Akio: Yes! Yes she was!
Val: You DIDN'T!. Wait! She's dead!
Akio: I know!
Tenki: Cool!
Akio: You have no idea.
music slowly starts in background
Big group: We're goin to the Y-M-C-A!
Farf: (clapping) I love this song! Oh! I've still got cookies!
Tenki and Himizu: (sweatdrop)
Himizu: Umm.Let's sign off before this gets any stranger.
Tenki: .Yea.
17: Oh, but the fun wath jutht getting thtarted!
Himizu: (angrily) BYE 17.
Tenki: Stay tuned for updates.
*** 17 was brutally murdered by a crazed fangirl that found out he was gay and didn't love her. *** Mikagi still hasn't found his man. *** Ken returned to being the Kaizer, but claims it was only because of the whip. *** Treize still hasn't spoken. He and Sacher broke up soon after the show. *** Sessy committed suicide by overdosing on Pixy Stix after his lover, 17, was murdered. *** Kodachi still keeps in touch with Tenki for undisclosed reasons. *** Akio and Valgarv got together after the show. We're still not sure if we turned them gay. *** Ashitare is happily married to Soi. They are on their 10th kid, and have 1 boy and 9 girls. They are all very, VERY ugly. *** Brad and Farfie are still following us for unknown reasons. *** **** ***
Tenki: (twitches) I wish I knew why. Now, we have a poem in closing.
Himizu: Ahem: We were here, but now we're gone.
Tenki: We left this here, to turn you on.
Himizu: Those who knew us, knew us well.
Tenki: Those who didn't, can go to Hell!
Tenki and Himizu: Bye! Join in next time!
Tenki: Hello! I'm Tenki! And welcome to the special on the villains of anime.
Himizu: (stands there waiting)
Tenki: (whispers loudly) Read the cue card!
Himizu: Oh.Right! And I'm Himizu!
Tenki: Maybe this time we'll get done with the interview!
Himizu: Don't raise their hopes like that!
Tenki: Or maybe not!
Himizu: Shouldn't we start?
Tenki: Yea! First, let's meet our camera man, Treize Kushrenada!
Treize: (glares)
Himizu: Anyways! Let's get to our first vict-interviewee, the Digimon Kaizer!
Kaizer: Ken, please.
Tenki: So, what's it like being in control of all those digimon and getting to use the whip?
Kaizer: I don't do that anymore.
Himizu: So why are you here?
Kaizer: You're the one who invited me.
Himizu: Did I?
Ken: Yes, you did.
Himizu: Oh. Ok, bye.
Tenki: Well.Here's my old.friend! Brad!
Brad: Friend.or FRIEND?
Tenki: Sh! They don't know about that!
Himizu: Yes we do.
Tenki: So, how are things going for you?
Brad: You know, same old. Horny as Hell. Pun intended.
Tenki: Hah!.Who's Hell?
Himizu: (sweatdrops)
silence for about 5 minutes
Tenki: (looks around) On to our next guest!
Himizu: Oh look! It's.DUN DUN DUN.MIKAGI!!
Mikagi: Where's my man?
Himizu: Do you take substitutions?
Mikagi: I said where's my MAN?
Himizu: Oh? Damn. You're no fun.
Mikagi: You'd be surprised how much fun male on male relationships are.
Himizu: When you say "Man on man", is that literal or figurative?
Mikagi: How do you think it sounds?
Tenki: I think it sounds kinky!
Himizu: I think you should shut your face!
Tenki: (whispering) Sh.It's THAT time of the month!
Himizu: Shut the *radio edit* up!
Tenki: Oh, it really is? Sorry!
Mikagi: (walks off)
Himizu: Oh, great! Now who do I interview?
Farf: I've got cookies!
Tenki: Farfie!
Himizu: He's gay.
Tenki: No way! I couldn't tell! Okay, you can go now. Oh, and leave the cookies.
Farf: Okey dokey! (leaves)
Tenki: Ashitare, comeone down! Himizu: That's the wrong show.
Tenki: Dang it!
Ashitare: (incoherent Chubaca sounds)
Tenki: Oh my gosh! He WHAT?
Ashitare: (more incoherent Chubaca sounds)
Tenki: Are you guys getting this?! This is fascinating!
Himizu: Uhh.Can I get this subbed? The dubbings a little bad.
Treize: (moves hands in unknown motions and moves mouth with no sounds coming out)
Himizu: Anyway, let's move on. If it isn't our old friend.(whispers) What's his name?
Tenki: Sesshou-Maru.
Himizu: Ah yes! Sessy!
Ses: I'm gay.
Himizu: Who the Hell isn't gay now?
Tenki: I'm not!
Himizu: (sweatdrops) At this rate, this'll be our shortest interview ever. NEXT!
Tenki: Seventeen!
17: (with lisp) It'th Thuper Theventeen. Get it thtraight!
Himizu: Heheh.Straight.
Tenki: Please tell me you just had a tooth pulled.
Himizu: I think he's gay.
Tenki: No!
17: Yeth! (grabs Sessy's hand)
Tenki: NEXT!!
Himizu: And now for a change, a girl!
Audience: Ooooh! Ahhhh!
Kodachi: Ohohohohoho!
Tenki: Santa Clause!
Kodachi: No.but you can sit on my lap!
Tenki: Uhh.No.But will you still give me presents?
Kodachi: No.
Tenki: Damn it!
Himizu: For Christ's sake! Even the girls a homo!
Kodachi: I prefer to call it open-minded.
Tenki: Now, for a masculine man, probably the only straight one here, Lord Sacher!
Sacher: (behind camera with Treize, hand down his pants)
Himizu: God damn it! If I don't get laid, I'm gonna be pissed!
Tenki: I got laid last time!
Brad: Who didn't?
Himizu: (sighs) Here's Valgarv.
Val: Hey there! How you doin?
Himizu: Pretty shitty.
Val: What happened to the censoring?
Himizu: Shit! That damned Treize! He IS getting paid for this!
Val: I think you're tense. (steps closer) You should calm down.
Himizu: (gets hint) Could you help?
Val: (puts arm around her) Follow me.
Tenki: (looks around) Hello.?
Akio: (comes in car)
Tenki: (drools)
Akio: Do you need a napkin?
Tenki: Uh.Nice car. (wipes drool away) Umm.You must be one of the people I'm supposed to interview. And you must be Akio.right? And I.I'm.T-t- t.What's my name again? Akio: The card says it's Tenki.
sounds from another room
Himizu: Oh my God! It's huge!
Tenki: Damn it! She's getting laid!
Akio: (looks around to where sound is coming from and sweatdrops)
Tenki: So.
Akio: Yea.
Tenki and Akio: (start making out furiously on Akio's car)
camera falls all Blair Witch like and screen goes blank *** **** *** unknown amount of time later
Himizu: (hair messed up, blushing) And we're back!
Tenki: (shirt backwards) Heheh.
Himizu: Hey, wait a minute. Weren't we supposed to go to FY?
Tenki: Next time!
Val: Hello Himizu.
Himizu: Heheh.
Tenki: Heheh.(looks at dent in car hood and blushes)
Val: Oh, that had to hurt.
Tenki: It did.
5 more minutes of silence
Himizu: So.
Val: Wanna have sex again?
Tenki: I will!
Akio: What about ME?
Val: What ABOUT you? Akio: What about your mom?
Tenki and Himizu: Oooooh!
Val: What about her?
Tenki and Himizu: Ahhh!
Akio: She's fat! Val: Oh yea! How would you know?
Akio: I laid her last night!
Himizu: Ew.
Tenki: Was she in dragon form?
Akio: Yes! Yes she was!
Val: You DIDN'T!. Wait! She's dead!
Akio: I know!
Tenki: Cool!
Akio: You have no idea.
music slowly starts in background
Big group: We're goin to the Y-M-C-A!
Farf: (clapping) I love this song! Oh! I've still got cookies!
Tenki and Himizu: (sweatdrop)
Himizu: Umm.Let's sign off before this gets any stranger.
Tenki: .Yea.
17: Oh, but the fun wath jutht getting thtarted!
Himizu: (angrily) BYE 17.
Tenki: Stay tuned for updates.
*** 17 was brutally murdered by a crazed fangirl that found out he was gay and didn't love her. *** Mikagi still hasn't found his man. *** Ken returned to being the Kaizer, but claims it was only because of the whip. *** Treize still hasn't spoken. He and Sacher broke up soon after the show. *** Sessy committed suicide by overdosing on Pixy Stix after his lover, 17, was murdered. *** Kodachi still keeps in touch with Tenki for undisclosed reasons. *** Akio and Valgarv got together after the show. We're still not sure if we turned them gay. *** Ashitare is happily married to Soi. They are on their 10th kid, and have 1 boy and 9 girls. They are all very, VERY ugly. *** Brad and Farfie are still following us for unknown reasons. *** **** ***
Tenki: (twitches) I wish I knew why. Now, we have a poem in closing.
Himizu: Ahem: We were here, but now we're gone.
Tenki: We left this here, to turn you on.
Himizu: Those who knew us, knew us well.
Tenki: Those who didn't, can go to Hell!
Tenki and Himizu: Bye! Join in next time!